Single Mom Spotlight: Arilia Winn Of Christian Single Mama

If you are a follower of my blog then you know I am all about single moms, I am all about women doing their thing and I am all about God. Which is why I am so happy to shout out a fellow single mother on her God-given purpose in encouraging other single moms through her blog and her book.

God is Gracious A Christian single mother’s thoughts, prayers, and poems for her daughter. (click here to buy)

Here is my interview with her below, don’t forget to show a fellow woman in Christ some love by checking her out.

The Single Mom Spot Light Goes To Arilia Win

She is the founder of Christian Single Mama and started her blog in May of 2014, and in 2018 it became a registered business and in 2019 Arilia goals for Christian Single Mama is to make it a non-profit! She is a single mom to one daughter, Gia, and lives in Southern California. Arilia, owns and operates 2 online-based business, Christian Single Mama and Winn Publications.

Let’s get into the interview, shall we?

What prompted you to start your site and what do you hope you accomplish?

Arilia: When I had accepted that I was going to be raising my child without her father and after experiencing a lot of church hurt, I started my blog. I felt like there wasn’t a place for me, a single mom who loves the Lord, in the church or society so I created one. I couldn’t understand why the church is pro-life but they don’t make the room or have room for single mother/teen mom programs or Bible studies. I felt unaccepted. On top of the ugly looks and questions about my baby-daddy, I was through and I needed a space for me.

So CSM (Christian Single Mama) was born! Where I aim to do just that, create room for single mothers who love the Lord. Growing from a blog to a non-profit means that I will be able to have an actual space (building) for single moms to go to in order to get their needs met. Be them, financial, spiritual, or mental, I aim to make a greater contribution to the lives of these women.

Was there a moment in your walk with God or being a Christian single mom that you felt God showed up for you?

Yes, just recently God reminded me that he will provide. This promise has been so clear since I had my child that’s why I say reminder. I lost my job, my home, and now my car, all within the last year and CSM had been put on hold. In Sept. 2018, I quit my job to work from home, but what happened was I was overcome with depression. With no stable income, I lost my home and had to move from Texas to California to live with my dad.

In Feb. I was diagnosed with BiPolar 2 disorder. The way this shows up for me is a weekly cycle of depression and high energy. Today I have energy! Lol! I laugh about it now, but I used to cry about this “label”. Seeing a therapist is working wonders. The Bible says to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I’m learning that the mind and mental health are just as important as the body and physical health. Last week I went to a job fair and well long story short, I have 4 interviews next week!! A job means stable income and stable income opens the doors to so many other blessings. With any things on the rise for me, I hear God saying, “I told you! I told you I would provide.” My anchor is in the Lord.

 My Sidebar on what Arilia said:

This is one of the reasons why I connected with Arilia because I had gone through the same thing. I had lost my job, I had to move back in with my mother for a while, and I remember resenting God at the time (click here to see my blogs on when I was failing to meet ends meet). But as I have grown, I have learned that these things were to help me step into my God-given purpose not to hurt me.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

Also, as a mental health professional, I agree that your mind can do wonders. How you think can transform how you see the world. A diagnosis is a diagnosis, but do not let it define you and do not let it be your end all be all.

Now back to the interview.

If you could tell other Christian single mom’s one thing what would it be?

Don’t stop believing. The label “single mother” has nothing to do with your faith in God. Cast that shame back to the pit of hell from where it’s come. You can be a single mom and love the Lord. In fact, as a single mom who loves the Lord, I can say that you’re not alone. There’s many of us out there. I am definitely here for you. But if you are looking for single moms who love the Lord in your area, you may have to search. Don’t be discouraged because Matt. 7:7-8 tells us that if we’re persistent in our seeking then we will find what we’re looking for. Look for your tribe, we’re out there!

What do you find is your biggest struggle as a Christian single mom and how has God helped you with it?

Asking for help has been a struggle. I raised my child alone, with no breaks for almost all of her life (5 years) until recently. I was uncomfortable and afraid to ask for help. I felt like if I couldn’t get help from her own father why should anyone else agree to help me. God changed my perspective. Not only am I never alone, but I don’t have to care for my child alone. It truly takes a village to raise a child. Since being in California and near my family I have had more opportunities to get a family member to babysit while I have a few hours of fun. I’ve had to face my fear of asking for help and the results have been beautiful. Not only do I get a break and a chance to recharge every now and again, but my daughter gets to develop relationships with those we love the most.

What is your relationship with your child’s father? What are some ways that you successfully co-parent?

I don’t co-parent. The relationship with my child’s father is nonexistent. He wanted an abortion, and when she was born he would only come around if we could still “sleep” together. I wasn’t having it so I moved on. I accepted that at this point in our (mine and my child’s) journey it’s what’s best for the both of us.

 Sidebar on what Arila said:

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge all the single moms out there doing this AND to let you know that you are not alone nor are you doomed. I am a single mother raising a child without a father as is Arlia. I believe that God has a special place in his heart for single moms and that he will bless you for doing the right thing simply because your child’s father won’t.

Now back to the interview.

What are your goals in the future for yourself and for your business?

Although I am getting back in the rat race (the 9-5 world) I desire to be able to work from my home office. I truly enjoy it! I am working towards making a CSM a non-profit. I have a publishing business called Winn Publications where I help writer self-publish their work. I design websites and blogs as well. I want my businesses to grow. My ultimate goal is to be able to make a living from doing the things I love, to share my life and my testimonies to encourage someone else, and to live a life of abundance in every aspect.

My Closing thoughts on this interview.

As a Christian single mom, Aralia is correct. There is a tribe out there for us and it is time for us to connect with one another and it is essential as so many of us can feel judged by other Christians or even by the church. If you are in that position then know you have other like minded people you can connect with. And know that the church is not a representation of God.  Just because the church or people feel some type of way about you do not mean that God holds the same viewpoint about you. God is love (1 John 4:7) point blank period, and no matter what God loves you.

How you can connect with Aralia of Christian Single Mama:

Her book: God is Gracious A Christian single mother’s thoughts, prayers, and poems for her daughter. (click here to buy)

A beautiful collection of poetry by Arialia detailing her life as a single mother and conversations to her daughter. The good, the surprises, the doubts, the celebrations, the little girl being raised without a father, and all the emotions that go along with it. The same thoughts that so many of you as single moms may have felt in your journey as a single mom. (click here to buy her book).

Follow Aralia on social media:

Christian Single Mama

 Winn Publication

Winn Publications Instagram:

Facebook

Website 

11 Comments

  1. I’m going to get her book and see what’s in it . I agree also that the church has a a lot in it that shouldn’t be . However , I wonder if this single mom stuff are being used as a crutch. I mean if we love God like we say then we know his word and Laws . We are not living in the ice ages and sexual awareness are out there , it’s all over the place . We are single mothers because we chose to be . I think we need to work on letting that Go and start the honest conversation on why are we single mothers. Shoutout to Queen Chuma on Ytbe who also covers this issue. A 21 year old girl from Nigeria and philly , studying at The University of Toledo .

    • I think the narrative needs to stop that all single mothers became that way on their own. Some were married, some were widows, and who knows what else. No single mom is the same. As far as the church, yes I take issue with anyone in the church pretending to represent God mistreating anyone. That is not what God is about as literally Jesus saved the adulterous woman by saying to others “those who are without sin cast the first stone.” Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. No where in the Bible is any woman perfect by any means or any man. David got another man’s wife pregnant for goodness sake. My point is sure that many single moms, became mothers out of wedlock and fornication is a sin. And so is lying, and stealing, and any sort of sex outside of marriage. Does that mean that all of a sudden they need to be punished for it? When really most of all probably sin every day an in God’s eyes no sin is above the other and yet he still loves us.

      • Hey lady ,
        I think what some of us black women are coming to grips with , is the fact that it’s no longer “only the dudes fault “ we as women have to start taking responsibility for our bodies and what we allow premarital. Most of us are laying up out of wedlock not using a lick of contraception or condoms and when nature takes it course , oh he’s a no good nggg. We are giving these men all these married woman privileges and you can’t do that. It’s just like Tyler Perry said in Why Did I get Married , a man can have sex , leave the money on the dresser , and that’s it . And all black women aren’t co-signing this victim mentality anymore. We have to teach not cripple or hender . And that comes with being honest on the entire situation.

  2. I mean you have 21 year old girls waking up and being honest about these situations. They are tackling college life and the things that go on , from the partying to the drinking and of course all the sexual activity across college campuses. And they are being brutally honest on the types of females in college . And have also shared their personal growth experiences , from premarital sex and dating in college. And you can’t do nothing but respect it. And I respect it because there’s growth and accountability , not blaming or victimizing themselves.

    • I am not sure I understand your comments. I am not sure that anyone was victimizing themselves. Or at least not on my blog because that is not what I am about. So I am really confused by both of your comments to be honest with you. And I have also noticed that with many of your comments on this blog and others they seem to have a negative connotation to them so I am not sure that you are really grasping what any of my blogs are about. What I do believe and encourage is that people should share their stories, in hopes that someone else will hear it and ideally get encouraged by it. Which I think is what this mom did. Turned her experience to a positive place for other Christians moms to come to. I did not see any blaming personally. With that being said, in an effort to be positive I really hope that you can try to put encouraging comments as this is not the place to vent, blame, or to do anything other than uplift another person.

  3. I’m confused as to anything negative I supposedly said. My comments are thought invoking. My comments are for people to look deeper into a situation . My comments are for real discussions to be had . Maybe your blog is about being one sided and people just agreeing with you because it’s you . But honestly is that how truth and liberty are obtained , no it’s not. My comments are for other young women to start thinking about things. Get out of our feelings and va-jj and listen to what someone is trying to tell you. When you received your degree from whatever college or university , you had to meet their degree requirements not your own . Throughout college you were given the chance to express yourself and your ideas but in the end , the overall process , was what did you actually learn from what they taught you . That being an example of Life too , what exactly did I learn from becoming a single mom and what needs to change and how can I truly help others behind me . I’m in no way a bad person , I am a black girl , 33 , wanting real truth to power to be spoken . I’m for all of my sisters , but I’m also for accountability and real growth.

    • God Bless You. I really hope you find your calling as you seem to be passionate about your message. Unfortunately, I do not think my platform is the place for you to share it on. But as I stated in this article. Everyone has their own tribe. And I am so confident that you will find yours. A place to speak your own truth and you get to share your own story. But this is not space. I promote a nonjudgemental Christlike environment. Not one in which we are tearing each other down over their decisions. Perhaps you can tune in to my YouTube Live event this Sunday so that you can find your own way to share your message using your own thoughts and talents, or start your own blog on even a YouTube Channel so that you can find those who want to talk about issues relating to you. As forcing your message through my platform is not it. Click here to set the reminder. https://youtu.be/zRxUScgDgBk And sad to say. That your “ideas” have stolen the amazing shine from this wonderful woman in which this entire post was about. Perhaps learning self-awareness, knowing when you speak your mind and on what topics will benefit you. When someone is being praised for what they have done, this is NOT the time to insert your own personal agenda. It is time to congratulate another woman as you said, you seem to be so passionate about.

    • PREACH Nicole- I agree with you that often times being a single mom is not just blaming your BD, makings posts about leveling up on your ex, or sharing a story thats one-sided as a “victim”. As women and moms, we all make choices and learn from them. BUT, some of this content leans toward someone always airing their dirty laundry and focusing on the past. Frankly, we aren’t the first or only single mothers out here raising sons and getting an education–worry less about being a single parent and focus on Gods plan and purpose for having a family. I mean these guys couldnt have been that bad and we laid down and had children with them. If any woman wants to level up, its best to stop perpetuating all the “stuff” we do as single parents–no one does it on their own–we have support and no one is to blame im the end except tje woman who couldnt keep her legs closed still pushing a platform that makes her look worse than the people she claims to be helping. I wiuld never take advice from any professional touting education on the subject of family and marriage when in fact they have no experience–being married or having a “family” .

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