To listen to the blog post ” How To Build A God Centered Relationship In 7 Easy Steps” over reading it just click the play button below.
Having a God centered relationship with your boyfriend is important if you are Christian. But it does not have to be some holier than though weird thing were you sit around and put on this religious show to show how spiritual you are. A God centered relationship is important but it should also be authentic and purposeful.
Anyone who knows me knows that what I stand for is about developing a relationship with God not just a religion. And developing a relationship with God in a God centered relationship should be one of your goals. No matter if you wondering how to have a godly relationship with your boyfriend or if you are letting God guide your relationship with your boyfriend, having a God centered relationship is you both being open to seeking and understanding what God wants for you both. And I am going to tell you how to do that.
But before we get into the video I highly suggest you check out my video on a Christian dating a non practicing Christian. Notice I did not say a Christian dating a non Christian. BUT what this video talks about is that sometimes each person in a relationship can have their own relationship with God. One could be a baby Christian one may be more advanced. Whatever the case may be, check out the video for more tips on how to grow closer to God with your boyfriend and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
1. A God Centered Relationship Means That You Are Letting God Guide Your Relationship
Now I may be different from other Christians in that I do believe in dating. I personally do not think that every person you are with you should just be courting for marriage. But just because I say that does not mean that you should just go around sleeping with everyone. But one of the reasons why I say this is so that you can sharpen your tentacles of discernment. No matter if you are in a relationship, dating, courting, or you are thinking about getting into a serious relationship or even an engagement with someone you should be letting God guide your relationship and this happens on two levels.
If you want to know what God says about relationships then know that God will guide you about the relationship on your own AND God will guide the other person about you and this will also be something that you two do together. Whenever you are in a faith based relationship it is important to know how to grow spiritually with your boyfriend. Especially if you see your boyfriend becoming your future husband one day or even if you want to know if your boyfriend is capable of being your future husband.
Or even if you want to know if you should be dating anyone, in any and all situations let God lead your relationship and let you know who you should be dealing with. And in a God centered relationship, you two should come together especially if you two are serious and have open discussions on what you feel God is telling you about where God is leading each of you in the relationship.
AND BE HONEST. Do not sit and tell a man God told you he was your husband when God did not say that. God will talk to you each about each other and if you are meant to be lead together you will know it. If God wants you to work on something you will know it. Allow God to talk to you about the other person and then come together and talk about it with each other to ensure you are both being lead into the same direction.
2. A God Centered Relationship ~ What God Says About Relationships He Says To Be Equally Yoked
What God says about relationships. If you are a Christian then you know that it is God’s desire for you to be with another believer (check out my blog here on being equally yoked).
- What God says about relationships: Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
And one of the keys of being in a God centered relationship is that you BOTH have to believe in God. Which is why it is not only important to know how to grow spiritually with the person that you are dating but to also get to know if the person you are dating is even capable of growing spiritually with you.
You cannot be source of light and your boyfriend be a source of darkness and then you wonder why the relationship is not going anywhere. There are some key points that I want to make here when it comes to being equally yoked. Yes, you must both be believers that is a given BUT you must also be equally yoked over all.
Below is an excerpt from my book for Christian Single Women Fix It, Jesus! For Single Women Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvement (Click here to buy) in which said the following about being equally yoked.
Being equally yoked means there is a relationship between two people that have similar things to offer each other and balance each other out. One person should not be leeching off the other. One person should not be bringing everything to the table while the other person brings nothing. This balance can come in all different types of ways, but essentially the relationship should NOT be unbalanced. These types of relationships, are relationships in which one person is giving more, being more, or has different beliefs than the other person. Leaving the relationship unbalanced.
Example of an unequally yoked relationship include: He does not like children (and you have children).
He does not have a job, car, and no motivation to do anything whatsoever, while you are a productive member of society.
When it comes to being equally yoked and having a God centered relationship then think about if this person fits into your life. This may come as a shock to you BUT you were not just put here to be in a relationship. You were put here for a purpose and when you match yourself with someone ideally that purpose fits well within your life, your purpose, and can help you grow not hold you back. Also check out my video down below on the dangers of being unequally yoked.
3. What God Says About Relationships ~ Growing Closer To God as A Couple Means Praying Together
What better way to have a godly relationship and to grow together spiritually than to pray? Prayer can be one of the most powerful weapons that you have as a couple.
- What God says about relationships: Again, I tell you truly that if two of you on the earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:19- 20
Does this mean that just because you pray with your boyfriend that you are going to get anything you ever wanted out of life? No. (Check out my blog on how to pray prayers that get answered). What is does mean is that when you do pray God will be there with you guiding your relationship and teaching what to pray for each other.
It will allow you to see what each other is praying for, learn how to pray for one another, and to pray for direction of the relationship; which in turn will help you grow spiritually. And since you want a God centered relationship when you pray just simply ask God to come in and be in the center of your relationship and SHOW YOU what you can do to make Him the center of your relationship. There is no one better to tell you HOW you can have a God centered relationship then God Himself.
4. Building A God Centered Relationship ~ Reading The Bible Will Help You Learn How To Grow Spiritually With Your Partner
And by Bible study I mean a Bible study with just the two of you. Going to a group Bible study is great but remember the point is for you to get closer spiritually to your boyfriend. So it is good for you two to not only read the Bible together but also talk about what it means, what lesson you got out of it, and if you feel like any of the lessons learned can be applied to your relationship.
I am a HUGE person of reading the Bible and I also believe in making it applicable to your life not just reading it like a storybook. And that is the same type of energy you need to bring when reading the Bible as a couple. Really try to read verses on love, the roles of wives, husbands, and significant couples in the Bibles. How can you relate? And how do you see their lessons shaping you as a couple. The point is to LEARN from it and for each of you to grow into better people for each other so focus on Bible content that focuses on that. I highly suggest that you read my blog about how to read the Bible not just read but understand. Also, check out my video down below to check out famous mistakes made by women in the Bible when it came to men to see what I mean.
5. How to Build A God Centered Relationship ~ Focusing on spirituality and not the physical
When it comes to not having sex this is something that we do not like to talk about as Christians because deep down many Christians are having sex outside of marriage and they want to keep doing it. I have had sex outside of marriage BUT I have also learned that choosing to listen to what God wants for you and your relationship is better than choosing to do things your own way. If you want a God centered relationship then how about you choose to do things God’s way and God specifically says not have sex outside of marriage.
- What God says about relationships: Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5
You had to know that I was going to go there. You can also check out my blog on the spiritual benefits of celibacy by clicking here. Many people think that sex brings you closer and it does in a way. It brings you closer physically but it can also blind you. Sex can make you overlook red flags and sex can make you focus only on sex and not getting to the know the person.
But the absence of sex can teach you to focus on what is really important and allow you to see the man for who the man really is. It will also teach you both to control your flesh and to have more discipline to doing the right thing. It also teaches you to listen to God and God’s will for you to not have sex outside of marriage.
Choosing to obey God in your relationship will always bring you closer to God. BUT the biggest benefit in my opinion is this. You have heard the saying why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free. More than anything this will keep you from getting your time wasted. From being in a relationship for years and years on end and going no where. It is really hard for a man to waste your time if he is not having sex with you and he knows the only way to have sex with you is to marry you. And if he is of God like he says he is, then simply quote the following verse:
- What God says about relationships: But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
Meaning that if they want to have a God centered relationship, know that God’s intent for both of you is to have sex BUT only in the context of marriage. Also, check out my video on the spirit of lust so that you can understand exactly why God tells us not to have sex outside of marriage and the effects it can have on our well being. Once again don’t forget to subscribe to my channel.
6. What God Says About Relationships ~ Fasting Can Help You Grow Spiritually As a Couple.
Fasting is such a powerful weapon. I mean it REALLY is a powerful weapon. Remember that lust I was talking about, I used to suffer from it (click here to read) and it was fasting along with prayer that helped me get out of it. Now you maybe wondering why on Earth would you want to fast and how does that help you? You can fast for many different reasons and from many different things. I actually wrote a blog post on spiritual fasting where I talk about the very basics of fasting.
A perfect example of how you can use fasting a couple comes from the example of Devon Franklin and Meagan Good. They wrote the book the Wait, that talks about celibacy before marriage.
Before DeVon and Meagan began dating in May 2011. That September they decided to go on a Daniel-style fast, giving up meat, bread and sweets for 40 days. We wanted God to bring us closer together, as we believed we were moving toward getting engaged. They said. I have talked about the Daniel fast in a separate blog which you an read so fasting is not always about giving up all food. What it is about is getting a direction from God about your relationship for just about any and everything you need clarity on.
I also have a 99 cent ebook on spiritual fasting in case you are confused on how to actually implement it. It goes well beyond just trying to starve yourself or giving up a piece of food it is a full spiritually transformative process. Click here or the picture below. The guide will teach you how to fast, what to fast from, what to do during your fast so that if you want to fast with your boyfriend or even if you want to fast alone to get guidance on your relationship this guide will teach you how to do that.
7. How To Build A God Centered Relationship ~ Go To Faith Based Counseling Together
Notice I did not just say go to counseling but you want it to be faith based counseling. Getting counseling from your pastor or a Christian based counseling that you trust can be important because they can help give you personalized tips on how the two of you can grow spiritually based on your situation.
Also taking a page from Devon Franklin and Meagan’s book they got counseling TD Jakes a prominent Christian pastor. They began four months of pre-engagement couple’s counseling. They put their relationship counselor Bishop T.D. Jakes’ advice on choosing a spouse like you buy a house into action: Do your research and examine everything before making a decision. What the couple said about their experience was that Counseling was a tremendous blessing to our marriage, Meagan says. It made us think and see each other’s baggage. What can you live with?
Being a Nationally Certified Counselor myself and as someone who has provided counseling and even Christian counseling I think that this is a very important step for a couple wanting a God centered relationship especially if it helps them determine the direction of their relationship such as do they want to get engaged or even if it is premarital counseling. That way the couple uses a professional to help them get God in their relationship and the professional will teach them tools for the future to keep God in their relationship on their own.
These are the top tips for how to build a God centered relationship as well as what God says about relationships. If you know someone who could read this post then share it with them.