To listen to the blog post “Single Mom Help! 7 Ways To NOT Be A Single Mom Stereotype” over reading it just click the play button below.
The best single mom help I can give you is to not be a single mom stereotype. How many of you single moms out there are so tired of the single mom stereotype and other preconceived notions that people have about you because you are a single mom. Some of them include:
- If you are a single mom then you must be promiscuous.
- Or if you are single mom then you are always looking for someone to be a father to your child.
- If you are a single mom you must be broke, tired, and struggling, and bitter.
I could go on and on about the single mom stereotype but I won’t. Instead, I want to debunk the single mom stereotype and if by chance you do fall in some of these catagories then guess what? You can always change them and of course I am going to tell you how because I did it myself. You can watch my single mom level up video below. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
1. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype & Realize Being a Single Mom is Not Curse
I cannot tell you how many times people come up to me or talk to me like being a single mom is some life threatening illness I am going to die from. Or like life is just so hard as a single mother that any day now I am going to go home and put myself out of my misery. Which I answered a question on in my video down below where a single mom actually hated her child.
Being a single mom is not a curse or at least for me it was not a curse. The fact of the matter is that it made me want to get my crap together more so than when I was a single woman (click here to read my single mom story). Had I not been a single mom, then I would not be where I am today. It was a blessing not a curse. Single moms are not a bunch of unproductive woman that sit around all day thinking that are lives are over and we are cursed because we are single moms.
I do understand that being a single mom for many of us is not ideal, sure. But it can also make us stronger if you allow it. It gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to level up, make more money, and to become a grown behind woman. And because I have to handle everything I am ten times the woman I was had I not had my son. Of course IF you want to look at being a single mom as curse then it will be, but if you want to look at it like a blessing then it can be that too. You can watch my video below of a woman who was resentful of being a single mom because she was abandoned by her child’s father (as was I) but this made me stronger.
2. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype Don’t Be Desperate For Men
I know a single mom stereotype is that we are all desperate for men but that’s not true. Okay so I do understand that some or many single moms suffer from single mom sydrome and are depserate for a man. Just because we are a single mom does not mean that we are sitting around waiting for a man to come rescue us and play daddy to our children. And if you are one of those single moms then you need to STOP ASAP. What this type of behavior will lead to is you taking any man over a good man. Some single moms feel like having a child is a hinderance to having a good relationship and as a result they just get with any and everyone, and that is NOT the single mom stereotype that we are going to feed into it.
It is okay to want a man, it is not okay to be super thirsty about it. Instead, you want a good man that will add on to your life and the life of your children. NOT make it harder. Check out my video below for more tips on this. And once again don’t forget to subscribe to my channel.
3. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype Realize The Deadbeat Dad Is Not Your Fault
I cannot tell you how many times that people come at me telling me that my son needs a father. YES I AGREE. But I cannot help that my son’s father does not want to be invovled in his life. People tend to think “What did you do to run him away, were you mad that he did not want you anymore, were you mad that he moved on? What did you do?” When I tell people that my son’s father is not involved in his life, it shift onto “What did you do? Are you keeping the child away from him because he does not want you?” How is my being the only productive parent in my son’s life MY fault? But that is what society likes to spin on single moms that have dead beat dads.
If you are like me then you do not freakin care, but I understand that there are some single moms that do care and these words will get to you and you start to feel like the failure of a deadbeat dad is your fault. Well if no one has told you, it is NOT your fault. A deadbeat dad, is simply a deadbeat dad and that has nothing to do with you. For more motivation on how to get over this issue then watch my video below.
4. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype & Men are not entitled to our bodies
Many men prey on single moms because they think that we are all desperate and that we are just going to give up the goods. As a single mom that is celibate which you can read my blog on that here.
Then know that I feel that no man has a right to my body and I want to be married. I am a single mom, I know that sex leads to children as no protection method is 100%, and I do not want to repeat the mistakes of my past. And I know that this is my right. Do not let a man let you think that because you are not the virgin Mary that you have to give it up or have their children or that you MUST easy. Do not let them pass judgement on you.
I do not care if the single mom has had sex before, your body is your body and by no means is anyone else entitled to it. She has the right to hold out forever if she wants to and men do not have the right to demand that she does others wise just because she has already had a child and they perceive her to be easy. Also check out my video on how to be celibate as a single mom.
5. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype Do Not Just Make Your Life Harder
Can I get real with you for a second single moms. I think that it is so easy that when you date a man that they automatically want to have kids with you WITHOUT the commitment of marriage. After I had my son I went back into a relationship with one of my ex boyfriends. In which he told me that he wanted to have a child too. He did not want to marry me or anything. All he said was you already have a child, what’s one more. Yeah ummm no.
In fact if you are a single mother that keeps having children out of wedlock by men because they want you to or because you think that it will help you keep a man. I suggest you stop. Single motherhood is hard, do not add children onto it making it harder for yourself. I do not care what the man says and I do not care if you feel like it will keep a man. Do not be the single mom stereotype where you just want to have more kids by mutiple men because they tell you to, because they want to compete with your other child’s father, or because you feel that this will keep him. Require a commitment AKA a ring before having more kids and don’t buy into the hype of some of these men.
6. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype & You Don’t Have To Struggle or Living In Poverty
Like any class of people there are some people who do struggle and live in poverty. But to say that every single mother is not educated, a high school dropout, or has no hope in life is very misguided. There are many educated single moms out there, that have homes, college degrees, nice cars, and can pay their own way, and there own bills. Being a single mom does not equate to being low income. I am one of those examples. We do exist. And even if you are a single mom living in poverty then guess what? That is what I am here for and I want to help you out. You can watch my video below on some of the ways I made more money as a single mom in my journey from poverty to success.
7. Single Mom Help Avoid The Single Mom Stereotype & Do Not Let Other People Feel Sorry For You And Don’t Feel Sorry For Yourself
If I had a penny for I don’t know how you do it” or even the pity look when I tell women I am a single mom with no boyfriend then I would be rich. Being a single mom is hard, but there are a lot of things in people’s lives that are hard. To feel sorry for me and think of me as some poor single mom is to diminish all of my accomplishments.
Once my supervisor literally told me that I could work overtime so that I did not feel like I had to get a second job to provide for my son. Which by the way turned out to be insane as a year later she got a divorced and became a single mom herself. My point is that do not be a pity party for anyone and do not let anyone turn their nose up at you because you are a single mom. I am the master at proving people wrong. And with that being said, do not feel sorry for yourself. Yes, I know being a single mom can be hard BUT more than anything this post should have taught you NOT to feed into the hype of the single mom stereotype.
If I am telling other people not too look at you like a stereotype then you do not need to look at yourself that way either.
If you know someone who could use this information then feel free to share this post with them.
Also, did you know that I have a single mom book that is a best seller! To know more about my No Nonsense Single Mom’s Devotional then click here. Also click here or the picture below to get the first few chapters for free, in case you are undecided.