To listen to the blog post “5 Actionable Steps To Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom” over reading it click the play button below.
If you are looking to reinvent yourself as a single mom I got you! When I talk about reinventing yourself, I am talking about getting a better life and to stop living by the same tired standards you have been living by. No one says that as a single mom you cannot have the best that life has to offer, you can have the world if you want to. I am a single mom myself and I have always worked hard to upgrade my life.
I always wanted my son to have the best life possible and I did not want him to feel like he was lacking because he was born to a single mom who gets no real child support and he has an absent father. A situation that happens to a lot of single mothers, but I realize that I could be different. I WANTED to be different. I did not want my situation to define how good or bad my life was going to go. If you want to know about my single mom story you can read it here.
Also, watch how I leveled up as a single mom in my video below because it was not always easy. And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel by clicking here.
Often times there is this single mom stereotype (see my blog here) that we are all struggling, poor, living on welfare and food stamps, with no real hope for the future. Not all of us are like that. And even if that is your single mom situation now I am not here to judge you but to help you. Help you to reinvent yourself. I want to help you make changes in your life and open yourself up to more opportunities.
And in case you are thinking that I do not know what I am talking about because here I am with 3 degrees and I do not know what it is like to struggle as a single mom. That is where you are wrong, I have felt like I was failing as a single mom (see my blog here) especially after I lost my good paying job many years ago. I learned what REAL struggle was BUT I also overcame it. I reinvented myself and that broke struggling all over the place single mom is no more. She is replaced with the productive woman you see before you today. I do not want to compare “who has suffered most” single mom stories. I just want to show you not only have I been where you are as a single mom but that I also understand the struggle and the need to overcome it.
Which is why I am going to share my tips with you.
5 Important Decisions You can Make To Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom
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Oh wait: BUT before we get into the tips. I REALLY encourage you to get the book below, just click here or on the picture. I know what you are thinking that it is some shallow how to be a sugar baby book. NO, FAR FROM. She was once a single mom, divorced from no good men, and she made the RIGHT changes in her life and now she is married to a millionaire.
A rags to riches story of a single mom who implemented certain decisions in her daily life and was reinvented to something else. Something better. With that being said this post about gold-digging 101 NO it is not. But it just goes to show when you upgrade your life and put yourself in a better situation you never know who you may meet. And even if she had not married a rich man the changes that she made in her life still made her have a good life and she just started dating good men over all.
1. Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom ~ Live in a Better Place
When I got pregnant with my son I lived in the inner city. The neighborhood was not great but the rent was cheap. I had never really thought about the significance of where I lived because I was a single woman out having fun and the environment did not bother me. I was barely home anyway.
But when I got pregnant I needed to change that. I could not have people blasting music in the parking lot at 4 am when I had a child and that is what was happening in my current place. So I decided to move to a better area, a year after my son was born I moved to a better area again, two years after that I moved to a better area, and then a year after that I bought my home in a better area.
What I am saying, is that what you expose your children to matter. What you expose yourself to matters. You can say that you want to reinvent yourself, but if every day you are waking up to people dealing drugs outside your door you will feel defeated.
My son always remembers growing up in a nice neighborhood, with pools, and clubhouses. He remembers going Easter egg hunting at the community events that our nice neighborhoods used to have. We use to go walking around the lake at one apartment complex and feed the ducks. Sounds nice doesn’t it? One would not think that when I was three months pregnant I was living in a terrible area this would not be possible.
But it was possible because I MADE it possible. And God of course. I am going to be real with you for a second. Nicer neighborhoods mean nicer schools which means a better education for your child. I know that should not be the case but sad to say it is. A nicer neighborhood changes the type of people that you meet, the places you go, and how you view things.
Often times moving to a nice area is more expensive, but the quality of life that you can have for you and your children can be much better. Do not go bankrupt trying to move into a nicer area, but do something that you afford. I made so many moves. Each time moving to a nicer area. Then earning more money and moving to an even nicer area. The more I could afford the better location that I was able to move.
And the better location I was able to move the better experiences I gave myself and my child. One of the first apartments I had was cheap and I remember going to my car to head to work and a crack head approached me and asked me if I was selling drugs or not. This was before I had my son. And it does feel good for him to live in an areas where he does not have to worry about drug addicts roaming the neighborhood.
2. Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom ~ Get a Job In a better area
I know I keep mentioning a better area but it counts for a lot. I have worked in a bad neighborhood and I have worked in a nice area. I would prefer a nice area over anything else. Even if you do not have a college education I still recommend you get a job in a nice area. And you can check out my job search video that can help you out.
Working at a Saks Fifth Avenue will get you more money and better promotion opportunities than working at the Family Dollar in a bad neighborhood with bars on the window. Nothing wrong with Family Dollar I will shop there in a heartbeat but I am just saying as far as your income potential. Working in an affluent place can give you more opportunities to grow professionally and to meet people.
3. How To Reinvent Yourself As A Single Mom ~ TRUE STORY
I went to the original Saks in New York (see my blog here) the employees look well paid, well dressed, were professional, and the worked in an amazing environment. A few weeks later I came back home stopped by some random Family Dollar in a bad neighborhood and they searched my shopping bags and when I left to make sure I did not steal anything. And they did that to everyone. Which environment would you want to be in? Which environment do you want to raise your child in?
Saks Fifth Avenue looks a lot better on a resume when trying to move up in the workforce. Just like working at a 5-star restaurant getting $50+ tips per table looks way better than working at the local fast-food restaurant for minimum wage. Another true story, I knew two people who worked as a waitress. One worked in an upscale restaurant and brought up several $100 dollars in tips every day she worked.
The other worked at the local grub hub and was lucky if she got a tip at all. The same work but one is making more money. If you have to work then you mind as well choose to work in a nice area making nice money. More opportunities and more promotions will be open to you there. I do have a blog on how to do the ultimate job search, follow my advice and you will get an interview. Getting the job is up to you of course. Also, check out my video for ways that I made money as a single mom as I was moving up in the world. It can be hard but can be done.
4. Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom ~ Go to happy hour, shopping, and/or the gym in a nice area
Life is NOT all about catching a man I get that. But for those single moms who want to catch a man you at least want to catch a good man. I wrote about this on my where to find good quality men blog which you can click here to read. When I go to happy hour after work I choose to go to upscale places in the business district of where I worked. Not to catch a man but because I really like the surroundings.
I know you are saying “I thought this blog was NOT about gold-digging 101” it is not. But I do not think that there is anything wrong with wanting to get married as a single mom to a man who is productive. Also, provided that you reinvent yourself and you are productive as well.
A man that does not work does not eat (see my blog here) and if you want to increase your chances of meeting a nice productive man then go to places where productive men hang out after work. That includes a nice happy hour spot in a cooperate area. Perhaps going to a high-end mall to walk around and have lunch. AND you need to be a good put together woman too. As I talked about in my equally yoked blog, you are not going to attract a good man and you are a hot mess, just saying. Be what you attract.
5. Reinvent Yourself As a Single Mom ~ Network Network Network
One of the most important tips on how to reinvent yourself as a single mom is about networking. I know you have heard the saying it is not about what you know but who you know. Who you know can count for a lot. Who you know can give you a really good job. Who you know can introduce you to a really good circle of friends that may be willing to help you reach your goals.
If you want additional informaiton on how to reinvent yourself and how to network, I encourage you to read my blog on surrounding yourself with positive people. As the old saying goes birds of a feather flock together. If you start networking and meeting successful people it is likely that their success will rub off on you as well. You can learn how to network depending on what you want to do and what your goal of networking is. If you want to get a job as a certain organization, then you may go there first and volunteer. Once the people get to know you then they will give you a job.
If you want to network because you want someone to invest in your business or to learn how to start a business, then you may go to conferences where you know you are going to run into business people who may want to mentor you or who may want to invest in your business. Check out my blog here where I went to a blogging conferance to network. I also encourage you to read another book by the same author as above. She gives a lot of great advice on how to network.
I know that all of this sounds insane and you may be wondering why in the world you have to do all of this. Well, you do not have to do anything. But the reason why I know I wanted to upgrade my life is because I knew that my son deserved the best life possible and it was not his fault that he was born to a single mom. He should not have to go without because I did not have two incomes. And in the process of trying to give him a better life I gave myself a better life.
The last thing I want you to remember when you are trying to reinvent yourself. There is a lot more reinventing that I plan to do even more and I am not ashamed of wanting a better life and I think as long as you go about it in the right way you should not be ashamed either. Also, I want you to check out my related post (how to upgrade yourself in all areas of your life).
And if you know a fellow single mom that would enjoy reading this post, then feel free to share it with them.
Did you know that I have a book specifically for single moms? To buy my No Nonsense Single Mom’s Devotional then click here. Also, click the picture below and I will give you the first few chapters for free.