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If you have gone through a divorce, then your life is not over. I want to tell you how to reinvent yourself after a divorce. Anyone who knows me knows that if after you go through a divorce or any type of break up the last thing you want to do is to fall apart and not be able to maintain your sanity or well-being. A divorce is hard but don’t let it break you.
In fact, I feel whenever you go through a significant life change that is supposed to break you, you should always come out better than before. And choosing to reinvent yourself after a divorce will allow you to achieve that goal.
Also, check out my video on how to level up after a break up below.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #1 Learn To Be Happy Alone
I know that after a divorce you are so not used to being alone and so the first thing you want to do is to jump back into a serious relationship. Which is NOT good. Because really you are just doing it to cure being lonely. Be happy alone.
And when I say be happy alone, I am not telling you to become a hermit or something crazy. You can still l have fun and but realize that YOU are enough and you do not need to be attached to a man’s hip to feel happy or complete. In a post from Guyvorce (yes it may be for guys, BUT the advice is still valid for women). They say:
When you’re in a relationship, and especially when you’re married, you get used to being half of a whole. A lot of the time, other people define you by your relationship, which results in you defining yourself by your relationship. That’s why many people feel a loss of identity when their marriage comes to an end.
They’re either scared to be alone or don’t know how to be alone, but being happy when you’re alone is key if you want to reinvent yourself. Until you’re truly happy on your own, you won’t be able to move on and be truly happy with someone else. Go out to eat at restaurants on your own, go to movies by yourself, go on walks, cook new recipes, read, and just learn to enjoy your own company.
And I cosign this advice 100% for anyone looking to reinvent themselves after a divorce.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~#2 Get Your Sexy Back
And no this is not about running around and having sex with a lot of people. This is about after coming out of the divorce you need to be 10 times the woman you were when you were married. Click my blog here for tips on how to get your sexy back. If your ex-husband were to see you or even if your friends report back to him how you are doing, you want it to be an amazing report. You want them to tell your ex that they have never seen you look so happy, so radiant, so attractive, and so well dressed.
I don’t care if you need to lose weight then go ahead and do that. You need to make it your mission that every day when you leave the house, you need to look amazing. It will help you feel amazing about yourself and may even attract the right type of attention from other people. Because when you look great, you feel and behave more confident.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #3 Date
When I say date, once again I do not mean run around and have a bunch of one night stands. I mean just casually date a few men just to get back into the swing of things. Start to re-establish what you like in men and what you are looking for in a man.
When you date, do not have to have any expectations for a relationship other than you are having fun and getting to know someone new. Go out dancing, eating, or doing something fun. According to Refinery 29 they state that dating after divorce isn’t always easy. Finding the confidence to try again can be hard, but it’s also exhilarating, fun, and even emotionally rewarding. And all of these things are something that you deserve.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #4 Go Back To School
I do not care how old you are you can go back to school. This is your chance to go back to school and learn something that you really want to learn. You can see my level up story by watching the video below (and subscribe to my channel here).
True Story: My friend whose highest degree is a master’s degree in human resources and business management found herself going through a divorce. Once she went through the divorce, she told herself that she really wanted to go back to school to get a degree in culinary and event planning. So at 50 something years old, that is exactly what she did. She earned an associate’s degree in culinary and a bachelor’s degree in event planning.
AND guess what. She was not the only 50 something and UP person in the class. She even went on to do a full internship at a 5-star restaurant. What is my point, she did not care about how old she was, how many degrees she already had, or what people would think about her. She did it because it was something that she wanted to do and it was something that made her happy.
And on graduation day she walked across the stage and the whole nine. So if you always want to get a degree in something or to study something then go for it. Don’t let anything hold you back because now is the time to do it. Check out my tips also for going back to school.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #5 Travel
According to Escape Here, traveling after a divorce is exactly what you should be doing. According to them, the idea of traveling soon after a divorce might seem strange. Perhaps you feel you’re too sad or exhausted to board a plane; maybe you’ve never traveled solo before. But traveling right after a divorce can be therapeutic, and can put problems into perspective.
The thing about traveling is that you can do it on your own or you can do it with a bunch of girlfriends. As a person who travels a lot and has lived in another country, when you choose to travel it gives you an opportunity to look at the bigger picture and that the world around you is so big and you need not waste time thinking about your divorce but that there are bigger and better things happening in the world that you can be apart of.
You know what the perfect book that illustrates this point is. Eat, Pray, Love. You can click here to buy the book or you can click here to watch the movie. According to Prezi, the main idea of the book was for a divorced woman, who was in a midlife crisis, and suffering from depression to share her story on how she was able to “learn how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote her to God” Traveling and seeing the world was literally her saving grace.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #6 Get Some God
Speaking of the book in which she went on a journey to find God, after a divorce you can find God too. God is the key to everything. The key to making you feel better, the key for giving you a new direction, telling you which way you should go, the key to helping you navigate life so that you do not keep making the same mistakes again and again. Before I found God I was not the same person I am today. It was through my journey and my relationship with God that I learned to transform into the best version of myself.
How to reinvent yourself after a divorce ~ #7 Do Something That You Really Want To Do
For this last tip, I want to tell you to do something that you really want to do but that your husband would not let you. It will allow you to feel free, allow you to explore your dreams and your capabilities without feeling limited like you felt during your marriage.
You can also check out my video on how to find your God given purpose.
True Story: I have a friend who was married to a very successful husband. In fact, she dropped out of college to take on little part-time jobs to put him through college. With the understanding that she was going to be able to go back once he was done going back to college. But as time went on they had children, he got his bachelor’s degree, then he got his law degree, and she stayed at home and was never able to go back to school.
When he found another woman and she decided to divorce him, she made it her mission to go back to school and open up a business. Because she was never allowed to do this in her own marriage, he always stopped her and told her that she had to stay home with the kids. All the dreams that she had for herself during the marriage went out the window.
So no matter if you want to skydive, change jobs, move to another country, buy a house, or even write a book. Whatever your heart’s fancy go after it simply because you want to and it will make you happy. Do it because it was something that you really wanted to do during your marriage, but for whatever reason, you could not do it.
There you have it, 7 ways on how to reinvent yourself after a divorce. It sucks that you had to go through a divorce, but don’t let your divorce be your defeat. Never should you just lay down and die because of this situation. Get better, get happier, and reinvent yourself to the best version of yourself.
If you know a fellow divorced woman that needs to read this post, then please feel free to share it with her.
PLUS. I have something free for you. It is my amazing guide for single women that will touch on every aspect of your single woman’s journey. And I want to give you the first chapter FOR FREE because I know this book is something you are going to LOVE. All you have to do is click here or the picture below and it is yours.
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