To Listen to the blog post “What To Do When He Doesn’t Want You” over reading then click the play button below.
I am going to give you 6 tips on rebuilding confidence when he doesn’t want you. Because we all know when someone breaks up with us we automatically turn ourselves into some woman that no one loves and both our self-esteem and confidence go down the drain.
The reason that a breakup gets to us so especially in the cases when he doesn’t want you; we cannot stand the fact that someone we want does not want us as we want them AND there is nothing we can do to change their mind.
And so we take their lack of wanting us as a personal attack on who we are as a person. That is something that you need not do which is why I am going to tell you how to get back to the core of who you are after a breakup.
Now without further delay let’s get into it
When he doesn’t want you; #1 Accept it and Move On
I actually wrote about this in my how to get over a breakup blog, even though it is hard you have to accept that the breakup has happened and you have to accept that he does not want you. If you try to hang on to someone who does not want you, then you are going to go to great lengths to try to PROVE yourself to him.
Some of these things may include having sex with him, calling him in the middle of the night, making him TRY to get back with you, stalking him, stalking his social media and if you do all of these things you are going to give him the opportunity to keep rejecting you again. Check out my video below for tips on how to get over an ex. And click here to subscribe to my YouTube Channel.
Case In Point
I know a few women that after they broke up with a man, they continue to have sex with him to win him back. Sure the guy will have sex with them, but you see sex does not equal a relationship.
So imagine how upset they were when the ex they were having sex with started a relationship with someone else, did not want to get back into a relationship with them, or just treated them like the crap on the bottom of their shoe. It just made them feel even more rejected and messed with their self-esteem even more. So even if it hurts, when he doesn’t want you, it is best to start accepting the fact that this person does not want to be with you. Repeat it to yourself over and over until you begin to believe it.
When he doesn’t want you;#2 Cut Them Out Of Your Life
As crazy as it sounds and as much as you don’t want to do it when you cut your ex out of your life it gives you back your power. That means to block them from social media, block them from your phone, do not text, do not talk to his mom telling her what happened, none of that.
The reason why cutting someone out of your life gives you so much power is because it is like you are telling them “I have the authority to want to talk to you or not, and I choose to make you disappear.” Re-engaging with someone that does not want you is giving them too much of the benefit of the doubt, and it is making you look like you are a pushover and that he can get over on you if he sent an emoji and you are his friend again. Do not let that happen.
Case In Point
I was reading the book Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis (click here to buy). She was messing with her boyfriend, he kept disrespecting her and then told her that he did not want to be with her anymore. And only a few hours later he called her like nothing happened trying to be her “friend,” asking about her family, and acting like nothing happen. She then decided to put her foot down and to tell him NOT to call her anymore.
And there is something empowering about that when you choose to put your foot down and stop being someone’s doormat and to stop allowing them just to call just because they are bored. It will be a blow to your confidence if every time he calls you, you are just sitting by the phone waiting for him to contact you.
Get a life and don’t even give him the option of picking you up and putting you down when he wants to. In the words of Beyoncé, so since I’m not your everything how about I’ll be nothing. If he does not want you to be his girlfriend, then he has lost all rights and benefits to being in your life.
When he doesn’t want you; #3 Look Better Than Before
I have written about how I have randomly run into exes or men that I have been dating and I was always grateful that I was looking my best. As soon as they saw me, I can say that they would follow up with a text or a phone call telling me how beautiful I looked and tried to engage me again. In which case, if this happens see tip #2.
When you look at your best your ex may see you, his friends may see you, and even if they don’t. It sends a message to the world that you are not going to let someone NOT wanting you to knock you off your throne and make you fall into pieces.
It is such a priceless moment when it gets back to your ex that you are looking way better than you ever did when were with him. It is such a priceless moment that after a breakup you step out of the house looking your best and you get compliments from other people and maybe even other men on how great you look. It is a reminder that the one who broke up with you is not the only fish in the sea. Also, check out my video below on how to level up on an ex.
Rebuilding confidence after a breakup tip #4 Get Back Out There
After a breakup get back out there and start to live your life. Start going on vacations, going out with friends, and even dating (not hooking up) with other men. Never let your life stop because of a breakup. And even though you may not feel like getting up and going out the more you do it, the more you will start to regain your confidence and feel better.
You will begin to realize that you have your own life to live and you cannot stop it over one man that does not want you. There are too many good times to be had and too many fish in the sea to get caught up on one bad one.
You can feel free to join a Meetup, get a hobby, start traveling. You can check out my tips on how to go out and meet people. Replace the bad apple with a bunch of new and better apples.
Rebuilding confidence after a breakup tip #5 Do something with yourself and your life
Whenever I go through a breakup, I make it my mission to go out and make myself and my life better. If I ever run into someone that has broken up with me I have always had a better job, a better life, a better place to live, and more education. Never should an ex see you and your life be worse than it was when he was dating you. Make him regret his decision. Also, in the words of Beyonce, “it sucks to be you right now.” Meaning that when he looks at you and what he let go, he is going to think “wow I really messed up.”
Rebuilding confidence after a breakup tip #6 Remember you are a queen
This is a Christian blog, so of course, I am going to tell you to get Jesus. Once you see yourself through God’s eyes, then you will understand that you need not be worried about men who do not want you. I have always told women never to forget their royal position. Meaning that you are a child of God, you should see yourself like a queen.
THEREFORE what queen ever chases down her king. No one, you are royalty, and you are the catch. Live it, own it, and stop trying to find validation through the man but know that you are enough. In the picture below, I have a shirt that says I Reign Supreme. Click here to see the entire “I Reign Supreme” Collection. It is a reminder that you are a queen and to NEVER forget that.
Also, check out this video by Joel Osteen about learning how NOT to find validation in other people. You do not need a man to make you feel wanted or love. You are enough and know without a shadow of a doubt that if he does not want you, then it is HIS lost.
If you enjoyed this post and know someone that is dealing with a breakup, then don’t be selfish share this information with them.
PLUS. I have something free for you. It is my amazing guide for single women that will touch on every aspect of your single woman’s journey. And I want to give you the first chapter FOR FREE because I know this book is something you are going to LOVE. All you have to do is click here or the picture below and it is yours.