11 Common Lies That Married Men Who Cheat Tell

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In this post, I want to talk to you about the lies of married men who cheat and the lies they often tell their mistresses. Because one of the most popular posts that I have on my blog to date is can a married man love his mistress  which you can click here to read. And I am a realist, and so my answer is NO.

BUT you would not believe how many women really try to fight me on this. I think the reason is that they get caught up in the hype. They get caught up in the lies. And they really want to believe that this married man loves them, is going to leave his wife for them, or that all the time and/or years that they have spent messing with this married man has NOT been in vain. But this may be a news flash but married men who cheat lie.  They are lying to their wife and they are probably lying to you if you are a mistress.

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Then get Your 5 Step Plan To Getting Over a Married Man only $2.99. Click here or watch the video below).

As I said in another blog post of mine about what women need to know about married men who cheat, the cold reality is that a married man is just using you to have his cake and eat it too. I am not just saying that it is statistically proven. I do not say that to make you feel bad if you are in this situation but to help you face the fact of the situation and not to continue to romanticize it.

He will probably lie to you and lie to his wife about you just so that he can keep you both right where he wants to keep you. In your lane, causing him the least amount of trouble as possible. While he has a separate relationship with each of you.

That is why it is so important for you to know the lies men tell their mistresses so that you are under NO delusion that the situation is more than what it is. Now if you are okay about being a mistress and you do not care about what lies he is telling you THEN I would say to you that you need to get some self-esteem.

Because for whatever reason you are bent on thinking that you have to share a man and that you don’t deserve a man of your own that can one day marry you.

All and all remember what goes around comes around. If you want to be a mistress to a married man and possibly break up his household. Then remember, when you get married the same thing is going to happen to you because that is what you are attracting.

Anyway back to the subject matter at hand,

Married Men Who Cheat May Say: #1 I am going to leave my wife for you

Men who cheat rarely divorce their wives and marry ‘the other woman.’ Only three percent of men who engaged in extramarital affairs actually married their mistresses. AND if by chance he does end up leaving his wife for you, you have a 75% chance of divorce rate (source).

In layman’s terms, the married man is not leaving his wife for you, and even in the OFF chance that he did your relationship is destined to fail anyway.

Plus, if you get with a man who is willing to leave his wife for you, in the LONG shot that he does marry you then eventually he will probably trade you in for someone else. He has done it before and like the old saying goes. How you get him is how you lose him.

Lies men tell their mistresses #2 You Are More Than Just Sex

This is not true, you are probably just sex. The reason why I know this is because most of the time you get together he is having sex with you. What real relationship can be formed with you as the mistress? It is not like he can take you home to meet his family, friends, or like you can go out in public and enjoy life together.

In reality, you are not in a real relationship because of his situation, and the reason why you are in a situation with him is that he wants to have sex with you. Which is probably how you spend most of your time.

Married Men Who Cheat May Say #3 I Love You

Maybe the married men really do thinks he loves you but more than likely he is just telling you that to string you along and make you believe that the relationship is more than what it is.

He loves his wife, he married his wife, and he created a family with his wife. That is a more significant indication of love than keeping you tucked away in the corner for his own personal pleasure. What about that spells love?

Lies men tell their mistresses #4 I cannot leave my wife right now because of xyz but once that is over, I will.

Remember when dealing with married men who cheat AlWAYS, refer back to lie number one. He is not going to leave his wife for you, and he is just telling you that xy and z circumstances are keeping him from leaving his wife. It could be the kids, the fact that she is sick, that she is mentally unstable, or whatever the reason he seems to come up with. The reality is, is that he is just telling you an excuse to keep the situation with you going for as long as possible.

The longer he can keep you strung along the more he can have his cake and eat it too. If a man really wanted to end his marriage then he would do it, and if he is making excuses as to why he can’t do it. It is because he does not want to end his marriage and has no intentions of leaving his wife.

Married Men Who Chat May Say:  #5 I Just Live with My Wife, But I Don’t Love Her

Many men will express a decline in attraction to their spouse, insinuating they are deprived sexually in some way. One of the most common tactics a married man who cheats will use is to lie about their current living situation.

The most common lie is that they are sleeping in separate beds or on the couch because they need to stay in the home for some reason. Usually, it’s for the kids. (source).  The fact of the matter is that many men are going to say whatever they feel they need to say to get you to sleep with them.

They will downplay their situation at home and make it seem like they are not happy when really they are just lying to you, to make you feel sorry for them, and increase the likelihood that you will enter into an affair with them.

Lies men tell their mistresses #6 This is my first time doing this

If he is one of the many married men who cheat, then is a cheater, then cheating is in his DNA. It is doubtful that you are the only person that he has cheated on his wife with. According to a survey, 55% of male respondents cheated on their spouses with five or more people (source).

So half of the cheaters have been with 5 or more people, and that does not account for the cheaters that have been with 4, 3, or even 2 other people aside from you. Being a cheater is probably who he is.

Married Men Who Chat May Say #7 What Does It Matter that I am married, it is you I really want to be with

In this case, the man may not even have the courtesy to lie to you and tell you that he is leaving his wife. He may be very honest that he has no intention of leaving his wife but tells you that you should not care because you are the one he loves. It is a lie.

If he really wanted to be with you then he would do that and nothing would be stopping him.  He is just making up an excuse of why he is not going to leave his wife and leading you to believe that you are the one he really loves.

In this case, he is straight-up telling you he is not leaving his wife and just fluffing your tail feathers by telling you he loves you trying to mask the fact that he is really never going to leave his wife. And he is hoping that by using the word love with you that you are not going to care.

Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #8 I am a good guy

11 Of The Most Common Lies Men Tell Their Mistresses Do not be a mistress to married men who cheat. Learn the lies married men tell and learn to stay away from married men. Do not become a side chick and don’t settle for being another woman.

Many married men will try to trick you into thinking they are a good guy, thinking that if they say it, then it will make it true. If a man is cheating on his wife, his family, or attempting to come to you and cheat on his wife and his family, then he is not a good guy. He is a cheater, and there is nothing good about that.

When Married Men Who Cheat Say #9 We got married when we were young

Okay so this may be true, he may have gotten married when he was young, but that is called SO WHAT. A man may try to tell you that he got married when he was young or lead you to believe that he was somehow tricked into getting into a married.

A man may try to tell you that love has faded from their marriage because he was a different person back then. Maybe the woman got pregnant and tricked him into marrying her very young.

Whatever the reason is, he is still married. And if he does not want to be married any more than he can get something called a divorce. Once again if he is not divorced, then he does not want to be.

Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #10 If I get a divorce she will get everything

Once again this may actually be true, BUT the more than anything is that he does not want to get a divorce. A man who really wants out of his marriage will be out of his marriage, point blank period.

And even if he is staying in his marriage because his wife will get everything, then that is just another indication that he is staying in his marriage with no plan of leaving his wife. So where does that leave you?

Lies men tell their mistresses Lie #11 I care about you more than I care about her.

Probably not true because she is the wife, with a ring on her finger. She knows his family, she may have his kids. She knows his friends, and she is on the life insurance policy. He can take his wife out freely in public without being fearful that they may get caught, he pays their bills, the mortgage, and he comes home to her at night.

If you really just weigh the facts, it is clear that despite what he says he cares about his wife way more than he cares about you.  He took a vow before God, the courtroom, a preacher or whoever married them that he will be with this woman.

He has not done that for you. So just his actions alone should prove how much he cares for her. All and all have enough respect for yourself to not compete with another woman for any man married. Check out my video below to learn how to stop competing with other women over a man, and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here. 

These are 11 of the most common lies men tell their mistress, and I really hope to God that if you are reading this you are not a mistress or at the very least you are not feeding into these lies that he is telling you.

If you are with a married man, then get out! Get out now, do not waste your life, or even years dealing with a man that cannot be 100% committed to you.

If you know a woman that is messing with a married man then go ahead and share this post with her because homegirl deserves to know the truth.

Stuck in a situationship with a married man? Then get Your 5 Step Plan To Getting Over a Married Man. Click here or the picture below.

19 Comments

  1. Wow.
    The lies are correct .
    I can say that I have not slept w my married man.
    Yet I have been told to wait till an event occurs then he will leave her?
    It is more of an emotional affair at this juncture because of my unwillingness to step over the line.
    I really want to break free of the innermost feelings I possess for him yet I can not.
    This has been going on for well over a year.
    I’m perplexed as of what to do?
    I am capable of disappearing instantly and will do so if necessary.
    What a tumultuous situation.

    • Why are you confused about what to do with a married man? Its simple…leave. After a year, I highly doubt he will leave his wofe for you. He is probanly stringing you along until you put out. Dont be dumb and block your potential blessing of real love for a man who wont take you out of secrecy. He’s clearly just passing time with you, and will keep you around as long as you are ok with it.

    • I am the wife of a cheating man. We gave been married going on 18 years on valentine’s day. He has cheated on me for most of our marriage and I just found out a few weeks ago. It hurts worse than being in an accident. It feels worse than losing a loved one. I found out that he still care a lot for me, a woman that he spoke to, told me this. He says he don’t know why, but he really doesn’t plan on leaving. I dont know what to do right now, but I love him very much. I dont know how long I can take this. We get along fine. But at times he can be a real jerk.

    • First and foremost HE IS MARRIED period so for you to entertain him in anyway is wrong no matter what he he tells you about his marriage !! Let’s play devil’s advocate what if that was your husband and he was doing that to you?how would that make you feel ? an emotional affair is is cheating wether you have sex or not .it’s just a matter of time before that line is crossed!! Doesn’t really say much for the Both of you

  2. As of yesterday my 6 months relationship was going great. We have a strong connection and got along great. It was too perfect. My married man lied to me. He told me he is not married to find out 6 months later he is married. We have been out in public together but never met his family but met his best friend. He even told my brother his intentions are to married me. He tells me he did not mean to fall in love with me but he did and the love making is intense. When I found out I was hurt. I told him he tricked me. I have never been a woman who dates married men but I fell in love with him and now that I know I know the right to do is leave him but my heart wants to stay but I told him I am not his side chick. I tried to leave him but he keep trying to keep me in his life. He tells me his wife is not agressive nor affectionate but I am very affectionate. I showed his love and attention everytime we are together and we are together alot. I don’t know what to do??? I love God and I am not trying to hurt anyone but I can’t stop my heart..

    • This is sad I feel nothing but pity for you because you are knowingly doing the wrong thing as a Christian and now that you know he is married you still carry on trust me it always ends ugly and you will get hurt the most because he won’t leave his wife for you,get your own man honey it’s less pain and drama

      • I’m a women who’s see married men’s for over 3 year’s.iknow that’s he’s married he never lied to me.But if I tell you this you will not may Boluve me.For this 3 years I never try to invold he’s marrig to brick he’s home I pay m pre attention to he’s marrig than him.we never had a sex.we are every single day tougher every morning we have coffee tougher,every single moment we write to eich other million and million sms on what’s up is betwin us,we kissed eich other couple time but we never sleep tougether.I don’t think so we will.I know how much he loves me he know how much I love him.we are both married.we going out tougher buying cloths for me for him when we look at eich other we look with love I never had.I will never try to destroy he’s home no matter how much I love him.I had broken home long time ago and I know well how’s.we have love betwin us we cannot survive with out eich other it’s so hard but I make clear I can’t share him with he’s wife and he know that.I have nothing with my hubby no Becouse I love other man’s Becouse my husband don’t like sex or intima so it’s ok he’s my hubby and no matter how much I love other man’s I cannot sleep with him.im so much scare if I sleep with man’s I love maybe all this what we have will despair maybe we not going to love eich other like this 3 years maybe is better this way to have platoon love Becouse if all this stop I will die.So i don’t call myself he’s missters I’m trying my best we to enjoy what we have.Sometime he’s lost controls he try to touch me but I always telling him we Gonna lost our love no don’t better like thus,I suffering so much he do to I know that he never remove he’s eyase from me he care he constantly sending sms calling me we bout other phone he’s keeping at he’s work I will never hurt he’s family I love him more than I love myself.Its very hard but he must b beside he’s FAMILY.i will continue loving him but only from distance.

    • You need to make up your mind and stop seeing him. Yes he will continue to pursue you,but you have to be strong and leave him. Flip the shoe,what if you were the wife and he was doing this to you, would you be feeling good about it?
      Now that you know unlike the wife, show some self respect for your body and preserve it for your future husband.

  3. I met this great guy he is from Cuba. He is married but when he came to my country he said his wife left him for someone.we got together. But one day he just left. A few days later i got a text from him telling me he still loves me and wants me in his life.I even spoke to his mom and i met his brother. But i want to know if he realy loves me or not. It is a differcult time for him because he is looking for a better life but he always treated me special and says he will divorce her. Should i believe him its been one year and we still tell one another i love you can you help me please?

    • I would just wait until he gets a divorce. If that is his intention anyway, there is no need to involve yourself in that situation based on what he is saying. If it is true, then time will tell. He will divorce her (since that was his plan anyway according to him) and then once he is free you can pursue a relationship. If he is not being truthful, then there will be no divorce and you will not be caught up in this situation since you will not get into a relationship with someone until they are truly single AKA all the way not married through the process of divorce.

  4. I SPENT 2 YEARS WITH A LYING CHEATING MARRIED MAN!
    I WAS HIS MISTRESS AS WELL AS MANY OTHERS! AS I LATER FOUND OUT,
    RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AS MARRIED MEN WHO CHEAT DEFINITELY
    HAVE NO MORALS AND FEEL NO GILT OR REMORSE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
    THEY ARE CHEATING ON THEIR WIVES , GUESS WHAT THEY ARE ALSO
    CHEATING ON YOU! THEY KEEP MANY PHONE NUMBERS ALL UNDER MALES
    NAMES!SO YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHO HE IS REALLY GETTING A MESSAGE FROM!,
    THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE NOT SLEEPING WITH THE WIFE!,
    GUESS AGAIN THEY SURE ARE!!!
    IF YOU WOULD TRULY LIKE A LIFE FULL OF LIES AND DECEIT
    LOOK NO FURTHER THAN YOUR LYING CHEATING MARRIED LOVER!
    THIS IS DEFINITELY THE LIFE I DON’T WANT
    SO NEXT TIME YOU THINK HE LOVES ME GUESS WHAT NOOOOOOOO
    HE DOES NOT , HE TRULY LOVES WHAT HE CAN GET FROM YOU!!!!!!

    • He lied to me from day 1. And more and more lies everytime i wanted to get out ! I only got abuse, not even a nice word or a gift or a fancy date! He broke me! I was beating myself up ! I was so confused ! I told the wife ! He hated me for 2 months wanted to come back, start from zero w/o bullshit! But he left me! He just wanted to win the game ! Found a new gf in the side ! Wife does not care she gets fancy gifts and posting it on social media !! How amazing she is !! She refuses to have intercourse with him but gets everything! I got a trauma! I lost my face in human kind ! I do not even want any men in my life ! Married or not … who knows they all deny ! And The mistress is always the most hated person ! I had real feelings for him ! Ppl are nasty !

    • it is game for all… we meet someone we love them love it happens..you accept he is shared…and live with it ,,if you are happy great ..if it lasts great ..if it does not great.life is full of chances take some leave some…..you deal with your demons and fears and same hope for the best

  5. He lied to have me. After a long dating period, I found out he was in a relationship. Ended it. He continued to pursue me, making fake profiles to connect with me, etc. I told him if he continued to pursue me I would tell the woman he was in a relationship with. He continued in various ways. I looked her up and she clearly did not deserve what he was doing. She has 2 kids of her own, he has none. She uprooted her children and her life to live with a liar. I inboxed her and told her in a concise way that he had cheated on her for a lengthy part of thier relationship with clear intent to continue. I told her she deserves to know the truth. That this is her life and she deserves transparency. I let her know that she could contact me if she decides she would like to know the truth and I would be completely open and honest with her. I immediately texted him and told him that I had outed his behavior to her. I made the decision because I am a single mom, and when I saw her pic with her beautiful kids (he was not in the pic) and knew the deception she was being subjected to, I couldnt just let her be kept in the dark. She deserves respect. I also made the decision because of where my motives were to enlighten her, not to be with him. She just blocked me. How she decides to move forward is up to her. If she ever decides to pursue truth I will provide it. My only question is, did i do the right thing? I hate to think I’ve potentially hurt someone unnecessarily. Should I have told her?

    • I probably would not have told her just because I could have predicted her reaction. But you did what you felt you needed to do according to your own conscience so there is nothing wrong with that. And what she chooses to do is on her. But in these cases many times the wife is not going to want to believe you even if it is true and on his end men typically feed the wife a different story altogether. So more often than not the wife tends to not believe the other woman even if you are telling the truth. If it were me and I was the wife I WOULD want to know. But I also know that not all women operate like that.

  6. I’m a women who’s see married men’s for over 3 year’s.iknow that’s he’s married he never lied to me.But if I tell you this you will not may Boluve me.For this 3 years I never try to invold he’s marrig to brick he’s home I pay m pre attention to he’s marrig than him.we never had a sex.we are every single day tougher every morning we have coffee tougher,every single moment we write to eich other million and million sms on what’s up is betwin us,we kissed eich other couple time but we never sleep tougether.I don’t think so we will.I know how much he loves me he know how much I love him.we are both married.we going out tougher buying cloths for me for him when we look at eich other we look with love I never had.I will never try to destroy he’s home no matter how much I love him.I had broken home long time ago and I know well how’s.we have love betwin us we cannot survive with out eich other it’s so hard but I make clear I can’t share him with he’s wife and he know that.I have nothing with my hubby no Becouse I love other man’s Becouse my husband don’t like sex or intima so it’s ok he’s my hubby and no matter how much I love other man’s I cannot sleep with him.im so much scare if I sleep with man’s I love maybe all this what we have will despair maybe we not going to love eich other like this 3 years maybe is better this way to have platoon love Becouse if all this stop I will die.So i don’t call myself he’s missters I’m trying my best we to enjoy what we have.Sometime he’s lost controls he try to touch me but I always telling him we Gonna lost our love no don’t better like thus,I suffering so much he do to I know that he never remove he’s eyase from me he care he constantly sending sms calling me we bout other phone he’s keeping at he’s work I will never hurt he’s family I love him more than I love myself.Its very hard but he must b beside he’s FAMILY.i will continue loving him but only from distance.

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