In this post, I am going to teach you the traits of a high value woman. If this is your first time hearing the term high value woman then let me go ahead and explain her to you really quick. AND why you want to be her. She is the woman that dates good men, has confidence, knows that she deserves the best, attracts the best, and makes no apologies for knowing what she deserves from a relationship.
If you refuse to upgrade the type of woman you are:
- You will continue to date tired behind men that get all your nerves. Ones that donâ€™t want to work, want to sit on your couch and do nothing all the while trying to have sex with you.
- You will continue to be with men who you have to force to be men, force to be fathers and ones that carry a ton of baggage behind them like a trail of ex-wives, baby mamas, kids, cheating, and a crapload of drama that you should NOT have to deal with.
- And becoming a high value woman makes you less desperate. Instead of taking on any man because you donâ€™t know when the next one is going to come around, you will find yourself in an objective place where you get to choose the type of man that you want to be with.
When all is said and done, all men want a high-value woman just like you probably want a high value man. No one says to themselves that they want a loser to be in a relationship with. Therefore, you need not be a loser. Instead, be the opposite, which will give you a chance to be in an equally yoked relationship where you two are building each other up and adding onto what each other already have.
Now before I get into it, you can watch my video below
How To Get Into Your High Value Woman Mindset & Attract A High Value Man
Some of the tips that I have mentioned in the video I am going to touch upon here and I am going to expand on to it so that you can really and truly have everything you need to become a high value woman. Are you ready? Letâ€™s get into it shall we?
#1 High Value Women Care About Their Appearance
When you think of anything of value I can almost bet that you are not going to think of something that is raggedy and run down. Your house will be worth more if it looks nice, is renovated, and kept in good condition right? When we think of things that are of value we typically think that they look nice and they are of good quality, so as a high value woman you need to look nice and be of high quality. From the way you look, take care of your health, your body, and how you present yourself to the world. From the top of your head to the bottom of your toes, and everything in between. Take care of it.
How this applies to you as a high value woman
If you are wanting to get the cream of the crop as far as men go then understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea. I am not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that the man of your dreams is going to see you walking around looking all homely, are in desperate need of a bath, comb; and that he is going to look at you and say that you are the woman for him. It is not likely.
When men see you there has to be something that is going to draw him in about you and taking care of yourself and your appearance in one of those things. Smelling nice, dressing like you have class (not all naked), having groomed nails, and hair. It signifies to a man that you care about yourself and that if he steps to you then this is how you expect to be treated and he needs to have the same caliber of respect for himself.
What this does, is keep the busted men away because even though they may look at you subconsciously they may be thinking that they donâ€™t have a chance. And it will draw better men in because they will look at you and say to themselves that you are woman that looks like you can belong to a man like him because he is the same way. Like attract like. You see how that works.
If you watch the video above I gave the following example and to expand upon that example I want to take an excerpt from my book. â€œFix It Jesus, For Single Women Only the Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide to Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvementâ€ (which you can click here to buy).
Before a young womanâ€™s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. And this is how she would go to the king. Esther 2:12-13 (NIV) Before Esther became queen, she had to go through beauty treatments. The reason why I bring this up is because so many of you think that you are ready to be queen and meet your king and really, like Esther, you are still an orphan on the street. You do not know how to act like a queen, dress like a queen, or even speak like a queen. But yet you want to go before the king when you are not even ready.
What’s my point?
My point is that it is not vanity to care about your appearance. If you are obsessed with your appearance that is vanity. But taking care of yourself and wanting to put your BEST foot forward in how you present yourself to the world is what you should be doing as a high value woman.
#2. Be A Boss
There are some women out there who want to find a high value man, they want a provider, and they may even want to be a stay at home mom. So you may not want to be a boss of your life because when you plan of getting married and having a man take care of you anyway.
But until that day comes, you STILL need to be a boss. You still need to run and provide for your own life properly. Because your man has not come yet and the last thing you want to do is to meet a man, have nothing going on for yourself, you are not really doing anything, and to tell him that your goal in life is to find a nice man that can provide for you so that you can be a stay at home mom. He is going to look at you like gold digger who is just sitting around waiting for a good man to come rescue from your life. A life that you have actively decided not to do anything with or manage properly. What would he be getting from being with you?
Both in my video and in my book for single women I said the following about Ruth.
When Boaz saw Ruth, he saw a hard working woman and admired her. He asked his servant about her and the following was said about Ruth: The overseer replied, â€œShe is the Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi. She said, â€˜Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.â€™ She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter. Ruth 2:6-7 (NIV) That is what drew Boaz to Ruth ” she was working from early morning up until now and she was doing it for her family. I am sure Ruth was a good looking woman, but she was working in the field and I am sure that it was not her Glamour-shot moment. Although there was some attraction there, the attraction came from Ruthâ€™s reputation.
How does this apply to you as a high value woman?
I am sure that Boaz had some attraction to Ruth, but that is just the beginning. Just take a stroll through social media and you can see a whole bunch of beautiful women. So if you just take tip #1 work and on your appearance or you think being pretty is good enough and that is all you need, then you are going to be in for a rude awakening because a lot of women are pretty and a lot of pretty women are being used for sex and then tossed to the side once a man is done with them.
If you are just a pretty woman and you cannot hold a conversation, then you are not a high value woman. If you are just a pretty woman then how will he know that you won’t spend up all his money if he were to marry you? If you are just a pretty woman then when times get hard or he needs some encouragement then how does he know that you will be able to handle the hard times or have anything of value to say?
But a boss chick can. If a boss chick is mastering her own life, then a man knows that if he were to join his life with her’s that she can only ADD on to what he already has not take away. Just like Boaz and Ruth, yes Boaz did provide for Ruth, yes he gave her money, he was the breadwinner, and when he married her I am sure that she did not have to work in the field. BUT that was only because HE observed the type of woman that she was (hardworking) and that is the type of woman he wanted to marry.
The fact that Ruth worked hard did not make her LESS worthy of a good man so forget this whole â€œWorking hard may make me look too independent crap. No, it makes you look like the type of woman that he wants in his life, one that he can trust with his life, and the type of woman he wanted to mother his child and trust that she will be strong enough to handle a household.
#3 Don’t Have A Nasty Attitude
To further my point of what I was saying about Ruth, Boaz said the following about her.
I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband”how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you didn’t know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge. Ruth 2:11-12 (NIV)
Notice how he noticed her kindness. He did not notice that she was cursing people out, gossiping, and being nasty to any and everybody for no real reason what so ever. I think the BEST example of this would be Meghan Markle.
When she met her now husband, Prince Harry, a friend of hers had actually hooked her up with him. Now imagine if Meghan had a stank behind attitude and suffered from the angry black woman syndrome where she did not know how to talk to anyone without sounding angry or she was just plain rude. Do you think that her friend would have hooked her up with anyone knowing that she was just rude as hell and when she met the prince that it was a large possibility that she wouldn’t know how to act? NO probably not.
So even if you are not around a man and you think the cost is clear for you to be nasty it isn’t. You don’t know who is watching you and you do not know who will want to hook you up with who based on their observation of you.
Let’s speak facts:
Did you know that kindness is the number #1 reason that men are attracted to women? In a research study put on by David M. Buss from the University of Texas at Austin, it was found that, worldwide, kindness was one of the traits most desired in a mate by both men and women (source).
So having looks are nice, mastering your life is nice, but if you are a complete jerk doing it then you are literally reversing all the hard work you have put in to become a high value woman and you will just come across like a diva. A single and alone diva.
#4. Don’t Have Too Much Baggage
Imagine that you are sitting at a bar, and a nice attractive high value man walks up to you ask you about yourself. You tell him that you are living with a man but you are not in a relationship, that you just got a divorce and that was your 5th divorce, that you have 5 children by each of those men do you really think he is going to want to go out with you?
All he heard was the word baggage. He heard that if he was to get with you that he would have to deal with 5 different men who are the fathers of your children which would more than likely equal drama. He heard that even if he wanted to date you that would be hard to do because you are living with a man, who you may or may not be sleeping with, and that is just plain weird.
And then he has heard about all of these failed relationships and then all of a sudden he is wondering what in the world is wrong with YOU as to why you have been married and divorced 5 times. Because YOU are the only common denominator. And then he will probably smile, walk away, and tell you to have a nice night.
What am I getting at?
Everyone has baggage don’t get me wrong but there is a such thing as too much baggage that no good man is going to want to deal with and the above situation is one of those things. If you want a high value man then know that so does every other woman and he is not going to settle for someone with too much drama going on in her life. He doesn’t have to he can just find another woman who does not have all that baggage.
As I said in my book:
If you have too much baggage, then there is no room for anyone else. And, no man wants to sit around and take on all your issues on top of their issues; it is not fair to him. It is not fair for you to pile all of your junk on top of him and give him the sole responsibility for making you happy and fixing all of your nonsense.
How does this apply to you as a high value woman?
Having a whole bunch of baggage and ratchet behind drama in your life spells exactly what it sounds likeâ€¦ratchet. And being ratchet is the entire opposite of what being a high value woman is.
Case in point:
Before I move on I really could not resist giving you another real-life example I encountered. I was going out with a friend of mine and we met up with her friends (not my friends). One of the friends was a male friend of hers and he had just had a woman from New Jersey move in with him. There she said that she had just moved here, after losing custody of her kids to her mother and that she would be going back next weekend for her court hearing and CPS investigation. AND then as she begins drinking she literally had a meltdown in the middle of the restaurant saying that she had mental health problems, should not be drinking, and that she needed her medication. UMMM WHAT!
And you may be saying okay but she had a man. Yes but not a high value one, she had one that was just as drama field and dysfunctional as she was. Like attracts like, dysfunction attracts dysfunction.
As a high value woman, it really takes a woman to look at your own life in an OBJECTIVE way and ask yourself if there is anything ratchet about your life that you can fix. If so then fix it and if you can’t then accept your current baggage and don’t create anymore. Because the more baggage you have the more you likely you are to not attract the type of man you are looking for.
#5 Be A Woman Like No Other
When it comes to this whole relationship thing each man wants to feel like he has found the BEST possible woman to settle down with just like each woman wants to feel that she has found the BEST possible man to settle down with. He does not want to feel like he can just find two, three, or four other women that are just like you. Take the following Bible verse:
Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. Esther 2:17
The king is a high value man. He literally could have any and every woman that he wanted and did. Because he had all the young women rounded up to compete to become queen. AND the king literally had sex with each woman and then he sent them away. The only way that they could even return back to him is if he called them by name and I am sure that he did not remember most of them anyway and therefore they NEVER got called back before the king. Because vagina is just vagina and since when can a vagina REALLY make you stand out and win over a man. It can’t.
But there was something about Esther where she won his favor and that he was attracted to her more than ANY of the 100’s if not thousands of women (virgins that were brought before him). And that is because she mastered the art of standing out and not being like the other women. Instead, she stood out on her own and therefore she became queen (I also encourage you to read my blog here on Esther and how she thought like a queen to get her king).
I know that these may seem like a lot BUT in reality, the biggest lesson that you should know is that being a high value woman is never a onetime thing. It means that you are always changing, improving, and being your absolute best. The high you go in your life the better man you attract in your life as well.
In this day and age we used the word â€œhigh value woman but really as you can see becoming a high value woman is really a woman that the Bible speaks of. The Proverbs 31 woman AKA the virtuous women, I mean literally if you read it, it tells you how to become the type of woman that all men want to be with. Click here to read the full Proverbs verse as I recommend any high value woman should.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31: 10-11
Don’t you want to be that chick?
If you know someone who needs to read this post then go ahead and share it with them. Plus, I used several excerpts from my book specifically for single women Fix It, Jesus! For Single Women Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvementâ€ which you can click here to buy. OR you can read the first chapter for FREE by clicking here or the picture below.