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This whole idea of hating yourself has to stop. I am going to give you some tips in this post to tell you exactly how to stop hating yourself. The fact of the matter is that many women are in an abusive relationship with themselves. And there is a danger in that.
“When you are in an abusive relationship with yourself you invite other people to treat you the same way.”
So I am going to give you a few of the most common signs that people who hate themselves demonstrate.
- Put yourself down.
- Tell yourself that you hate yourself.
- Not think that you deserve to be happy.
- Have low self-esteem.
- Allow people to talk bad about you.
- Make fun of yourself.
- Get into an abundance of sexual relationships or destructive relationships so that you feel loved.
- Look for validation in other people.
- Talk down to yourself or call yourself names.
- Harming yourself such as self-cutting or some other form of physical self-harm.
If any of these sound familiar to you, you are in an abusive relationship with yourself. This means that you devalue yourself all of which take a bearing on your overall wellbeing. Being in an abusive relationship with yourself leads to you doing things to hurt yourself.
Things like having an eating disorder, sometimes even depression, or getting into bad relationships. And even though many of these things require counseling and may not be cured overnight. I am still going to tell you how to stop hating yourself and start loving yourself with tips that you can start doing right now.
How to step hating yourself and end the abusive relationship you have with yourself:
For more tips on self-esteem check out my video below. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
1. How To Stop Hating Yourself Because You Are You
The first thing that you have to realize for how to stop hating yourself is that you are yourself and there is no changing that. You are always going to be yourself and you are going to be stuck with yourself no matter where you go. So if you hate yourself then that is where the problems come in.
You cannot run away from yourself. Literally, there is no way around being you. Unless you plan on killing yourself (don’t do that) you are trapped with you for a very long time. It is going to be hard to be trapped with a person you don’t like if you don’t like yourself.
So instead of trying to run away from yourself (which cannot happen). Accept yourself and face yourself head-on. Once you understand that you cannot run away from who you are, the more you will begin to accept who you are. Understand you have flaws and that you were made for a reason.
Understand that there is no one else like you in this entire world and that in itself should make you feel special. Instead of resenting yourself, understand yourself and how you work. Understand that you are not here by accident even if your parents said you were an accident. God wanted you here and that is all that matters.
In order to change how you feel about yourself, you can start by complimenting what you do like about yourself. If there is nothing that you like about yourself then find something. Even if it is your shoes, your outfit, or your eyes. YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING. Each day, make a practice of complimenting yourself on something that you do well.
How to stop hating yourself: Make a practice of stopping the negative talk and telling yourself how much you suck. Even if the urge comes in to talk down to yourself, just replace it with something good about yourself. Before you know it, you will start to believe all the wonderful things you have if you contentiously remind yourself of it.
2. How To Stop Hating Yourself By Getting To The Root Of The Problem.
Most people who are in an abusive relationship with themselves, do not like themselves or do not like an aspect of themselves. In order to get out of an abusive relationship with yourself to need to learn what is it about yourself that you do not like and why. Do you not like yourself because you are fat? Because you are too skinny? Because you feel that you are unattractive? Because you are strange and awkward? And if that is the case, did these feeling come from you or did the way you feel about yourself comes from someone who said these things about you and now you believe them.
Sometimes the fact that you are abusive toward yourself does not come from you, but rather an idea that someone has put into your head. If you were told you would never amount to anything, if you have always been picked on for being overweight, or if you have frenemies that talk bad about you (see my blog here on frenemies); these are the situations that make you start to believe bad things about yourself.
And believing bad things about yourself will cause you to abuse yourself. For example, if an ex-boyfriend told you that you are ugly and no one will ever want you. He planted that seed in your head and now you hate yourself because of what he told you. Not from your own thoughts. You have to fight that thought and combat the things that other people have told you.
If you are in a situation where you do not like something about yourself and it did not come from someone else but it comes from you then you can simply change what you don’t like. If you hate yourself because you are fat. Then you do not really hate yourself. You just hate the fat that is on your body. And fat can be removed. Eating right and/or exercising can change that. Heck, I lost 50 pounds when I gained a lot of weight. If you hate your hair then try to do something different with it. If you hate the way you look, then change up your look so that you do like yourself. If you hate your life then get a better job, go to college, or do something with yourself to get a better life.
“For everything you don’t like about yourself get to the root cause of it and if it bothers you that much then change it.”
3. How To Stop Hating Yourself By Being Nice To Yourself
Your words have power (see blog here). An abusive person will tell themselves every day how much they suck, how dumb they are, how fat they are, or how they deserve to be abused. And because they speak that to themselves that is how they are going to feel. Because that is what is in their mind all day every day and that is what they are telling themselves.
When you put yourself down these words sink into your brain making you believe these things. When you believe these things about yourself then the world will pick up on it and the world will start to believe those things about you too. Instead of coming down on yourself, replace negative thinking with a positive affirmation.
- If you think you are dumb, then every day tell yourself that you are smart.
- If you call yourself fat, then tell yourself that you are working on being healthy and that all that matters.
- If you call yourself ugly, then tell yourself that you are beautiful. Because you are! And realize that beauty comes in various forms.
How To Stop Hating Yourself ~ Case in point Myself.
I want to talk about myself for a bit. Because there was a time that I did not think that highly of myself. I am a dark skin woman that is not considered the standard of beauty by mainstream society. I have a pretty thicker build, a big butt, curvier hips. And now it is more accepted but as I was growing up not so much. That was also not considered the standard of beauty.
I had bad skin, I did not have a boyfriend in high school, I was a late bloomer, there were so many things about myself that were not considered to be attractive or not ideal. I used to spend time out of the sun so I would not get darker, taking tons of hair vitamins so my hair would get longer, starving myself, and over-exercising so that I would get skinnier. Doing all these things because deep down I had an issue with the person that was me.
Then guess what? I really looked in the mirror and told myself that I was beautiful, smart, and everything that I wanted to be. I have dark skin and it is what it is. No amount of staying out of the sun is going to change that.
And the things that I did not like about myself such as my job, wanting more money, wanting to date better people I chose to simply improve and change on these things. And now here I am. Sophia Reed Ph.D. National Certified Counselor. And I am happy with myself because I learn to live with and accept myself. When I chose to do this I noticed that other people started to accept me as well. When I chose to do this I noticed that all the people who were judging me were now praising me.
“You control how people see you based on how you see yourself.”
Tell yourself that you are in control of your own destiny, who you are, and with the person that God made you. And with that thought alone you can conquer the world. Festering in self-hate is literally not going to get you anywhere but a sad and depressing existence. Because literally, you will be hating someone that you can never get away from no matter how much you try. So why not put the same effort into learning how to exist with yourself in love, achievement, acceptance, and accomplishment. It makes the world of difference trust me.
If you know someone who needs to stop hating themselves and start loving themselves then go ahead and share this post with her.
Speaking of affirmation, get my Christian affirmation guide by clicking here for affirmations on self-esteem and so much more that will help you learn how to stop hating yourself.