To listen to the blog post “Why God Will Never Support You Falling In Love With A Married Man” over reading it just click the play button below.
In this post, I am going to give you some really legit reasons why falling in love with a married man is just not supposed to happen and why God is not with it. If you have not read my Can A Married man fall in love with his mistress blog (click here) I highly suggest you read it. In it, I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The main reason why you are not falling in love with a married man is that your love is based on a lie, deception, and you are living in a false reality.
I know it sounds harsh but this whole idea that you are going to run away with your married man and live happily ever after is just NOT true. Statistically speaking, even if by chance a married man does leave his wife for you. Nine times out of ten the relationship does not work out anyway. And that is just one reason, here are some other VERY LEGIT reasons why God is not going to allow you to skip off into the sunset with your married man.
Before we get into the post I have two things:
If your husband left you for another woman then click here to get my audio on how to get rid of this heartbreak.
If you are stuck on a married man then click here for my audio on the 5 step plan to getting over a married man. Also, check out a snippet of the audio below.
1. God Is Never Going To Support You Falling in love with a married man because you are going against God
Before we get into it, know that I am a Christian. I can only come at this topic from a Christian standpoint and I can say with 100% fact that God would back me up on this. So I do not want to hear “oh God made me fall in love with another woman’s husband.”
No, He didn’t. God is not going to support you falling in love with a married man. You chose to be with another woman’s husband so please take God out of it. God is not going to bless your sin when He clearly says in his word do not commit adultery. God is not going to come down and change some of His commandments just for you to be with another woman’s husband. It does not work like that.
The reason why I am telling you this is because you would not believe how many women fill up my email inbox trying to convince me that they are falling in love with these married men, how God understands, and that their actions are justified. If you are a reader of my blog then you know I am Christian and as a Christian let me say this.
God is never going to give you another woman’s husband. Point blank period. There are no if’s and’s or buts about it. I do not care how in love you think you are, getting God’s blessing for you to take another woman’s husband is never going to happen. And I have a video as to why that is which you can watch below. And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here.
2. God Is Not Going To Support You Falling In Love With A Married Man Because It’s Lust
I wrote a blog on love, lust, and infatuation which you can read here. So many people confuse the two. But when you think about what are you doing MOST of the time when an affair is happening. It is probably sex. And if he takes you to dinner you are just having dinner before you have sex, or you may do an activity before you go and have sex with this married man. But what the affair all comes down to is sex. Therefore, if all of your interaction is based on sex you are not in love you are in lust. And lust is a work of the flesh.
Let’s call a spade a spade and call an adulteress affair what is really is. It is about satisfying the flesh. If you are in this situation, do not try to pass off your fleshy desire as anything else. If you are with a married man you are doing it because your flesh wants it. Not because God has sent this man in your life as your true love and somehow wants you to fall in love with him and steal the married man away from his family. Let’s be real. Love is unselfish and an adulteress affair is completely selfish.
If you want to feed your flesh and take a married man away from his wife, then own it. But leave God out of it. God knows your intentions and He knows your heart. He knows when your flesh is weak and when you are feeding into temptation because you really want to sleep with these married men. All of that spells lust. The fact that you would try to mask that and pass it off as something else is just delusion on your part.
You may be able to fool yourself. But God knows if you are really seeking to please Him or if you are seeking to please yourself. God made you and there is no hiding what you really want, need, or desire to come out of a situation from God. He knows how long you have been flirting with the married man, how you have been dressing up to impress the married man, and how you have been trying your best to get the married man to come back to your house and sleep with you. My point is, let’s not pretend that an affair is about how much you LOVE the married men. It may seem like that, but where it stems from is lust. You can watch my video on is it love or lust below.
3. God Is Never Going To Support You Falling in love with a married man because you are messing with His covenant
God is never going to support you falling in love with a married man because marriage is a covenant of God. And if you read the Bible you should know how God feels about covenants. A married couple has taken a vow before God, you know the part that says “What God has joined together let no man tear apart.” So don’t be the person trying to come in between what God has joined together.
And then try to excuse your messiness by saying that you being with another woman’s husband is God’s will or some other reason that you tell yourself. I know that this sounds harsh to some of you but harshness is what some of you need. A big dose of realness to lift you up and out of your delusion that falling in love and running off with a married man is the right thing to do. It isn’t. Not ever.
4. God Is Not Going To Support You Falling In Love With A Married Man ~ BUT what about forgiveness
As a Christian, your intent may be to jump around with a married man, and then once you have gotten him you may want to ask God for forgiveness and since you are covered by grace you will be forgiven and all would be well. Before I get on with my point I want to tell you a true story.
As I had a conversation with a friend about this topic she asked me. “What if the situation happened to you. If you fell in love with a married man, don’t you feel like God would forgive you?” To that question, my answer is this.
- ” Although God forgives, let’s not use His forgiveness as a crutch to openly sin in His face and call it okay.”
My answer to her was this. I would not have the balls to openly try to steal another woman’s husband then turn around and ask God for forgiveness. I know that it is wrong and I would not want to disrespect God by using His grace to call a wrong a right. Despite popular belief.
- ” Forgiveness does not give us a pass to do whatever we want to do in life and then plead the blood of Jesus when it is convenient for us.”
There needs to be some self-control in all of this.
So many people want to do something bad KNOWING well in advance that they are going to do something bad with the intent of asking for forgiveness. Asking God for forgiveness means that we regret the wrong that we are doing and we seek forgiveness with the intention of not committing the sin again.
How crazy would it be, if a serial rapist raped someone, asked for forgiveness, and the next day rape someone again, asks for forgiveness, and then two days later rape someone again? He is just asking for forgiveness because he feels like that is what he should be doing.
But he is not really sorry, because he keeps doing it. When you ask God to forgive you, God convicts you and you want to make the situation right with God. Not continuing on in your sin. It is the same in this situation if you are trying to steal another woman’s husband, sleeping with him over and over again, plotting, and having the intent to steal the man away from his wife.
Like the rapist, what you really want to do is to feed your flesh and do what you want. You want to keep doing the same thing over and over again, ask for forgiveness because that is what you are supposed to do as a Christian, knowing you have a master plan to keep messing with the married man.
Do you see where I am going with this? By going about things this way, this is NOT true repentance because instead of stopping the sin at onset or even after the first time of you asking for forgiveness you just keep going and committing the same sin again and again.
5. God Is Never Going To Support You Falling in love with a married man because there will be consequences
After reading all of what I just wrote to you, and if you still decide to steal a married man out of his marriage, then you may ask for forgiveness, but also be open to the consequences that may come. For every sin that we commit there are consequences. God’s grace is sufficient and sometimes He gets us out of things and other times He allows us to pay for our sin because He needs us to understand the magnitude of our sin. If we never reaped what we sowed, then we will go around all the time living by the flesh pleading the blood of Jesus because it “sounds” right, when really we are living by our own terms, not God’s terms. The Bible clearly says:
- Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7
Meaning that you know committing adultery is wrong, you are openly sinning in God’s face trying to call it right, and possibly tearing a family apart in the process. Based on Biblical karma YOU WILL REAP the consequences of what you are putting out. That is the danger of mocking God, disregarding His commandants, and trying to justify your wrongdoing.
How about you bridle your flesh and tell your flesh that you will not satisfy it by stepping into sin with another woman’s husband? How about you trust and believe that God will bring you, your own husband instead of trying to convince yourself that God has brought you another woman’s husband?
God is not going to do that. God says do not commit adultery. God is not a liar and He is NOT going to go back on His word because you want to steal a married man. Also, check out my video on why having too many people in a relationship never works.
If you choose to do so, acknowledge that this is a choice that you have made and do not try to throw it back onto God. And if you do continue on with an affair don’t try to blame God when it blows up in your face. I know I am coming across as very harsh, but this angers me that women want to put themselves in a situation and then try to make an unholy situation holy. It angers me to hear how women are trying to break up families and take husbands away from their wives.
It angers me to hear of the wives sinking down into depression wondering why their husband was taken away by another woman. None of that is okay. God is never going to give you another woman’s husband. The point, blank, period. So if you came to this post hoping that you will hear something otherwise then I am so sorry to disappoint you. I feel it my obligation, to be honest with you. Instead of falling in love with a married man, cut it off and find a man of your own.
If you know a woman that feels she is falling in love with a married man then please share this post with her.
Stuck in a situationship with a married man? Then get Your 5 Step Plan To Getting Over a Married Man. Click here or the picture below.
How do you do it. Being a mother, juggling house chores, books, etc.
Just take it one day at a time. I write a list of everything I want to accomplish in a day and the time frame I want to have it done by, (like I will say from 9-12 I want to finish xyz). And then I really stick to the timeline I set for myself it helps me manage my time wisely.
I believe in fate. We were together 20 yrs ago then we found each other again. Had nothing to do with the ” flesh” right or wrong the heart wants what it wants and you can’t help who you love and I mean a deep love on both parts. Talking each day seeing each other every day etc he was there for me daily when I had cancer.. I strongly disagree with it being dirty. Love like that is beautiful and I know God looks at every persons circumstance!!
You are right. God does look at our circumstances, and at the end of the day when all is said and done and we leave this Earth we have to explain our actions to God. So if you feel like your rationale is good enough for Him and He will understand, then that is all you have to worry about. Because in the end He (God) is our judge. He will judge our actions, our heart, and the intentions we had behind our actions. And the people we have hurt in the process of doing what we want without the consideration of other people.
Whether you’re a believer or not, being with a married man is just plain wrong. EVEN if he really is an unhappy marriage or whatever other line he has, he shouldn’t be giving himself permission to cheat.
I agree with what Stacie wrote –
Unfortunately, there are so many men out there who deceive also. I once dated a man who neglected to mention he was about to get engaged.
He never seemed to think he was doing anything wrong.
Well, first of all if he is a married man that means you are entering a house that is already taken so…
Great post and insight. Thank you for sharing.
Lovely post and I am happy that I have discovered your blog!
First Dr Sophia i love your blog and the layout. This is a very informative post to all single ladies out there. God is really against this. Am sharing this right now
This is a great post and a great guide for the Christian woman. Thank you for sharing this.
Yes I do agree that being a home wrecker and being in a relationship with a married man is not right. Who am I to judge? I also believe in Karma, what goes around will definitely comes around.
We need posts like this, to bring more values to people in our society, that are bringing down the institution of marriage.
Wow this was a powerful read. Very insightful and useful for women in need of this advice.
In principle I agree, though I wouldn’t be here if my Mum hadn’t fallen for my Dad, who was married at the time. I know that doesn’t make it right though.
I love how you have candidly shared such a deep topic. As a married woman, this is something I feel deeply about and I agree its no right for a woman to go after a married man.
Did you consider that your man could be the one going after another woman? Open your eyes.
This is such a great post and everything you talk about is.so true! I do think there are some deceitful men out there but if you go j to a relationship knowing he is married it is definitely not a good idea.
This is a really good topic. I am sad to know this is so popular now. Being with a married man is just wrong.
You cannot help who you fall in love with, but even contemplating dating a married man is wrong
Great post and insight. Thank you for sharing.
Well said! Couldn’t love this more! Always enjoy reading your perspectives in your posts-keep them coming!
Lots of great points here. There are just so many reasons that it is a bad idea, whether or not you follow a religious faith or not.
Your advice is spot on. Hope it reaches the women it needs to reach.
wether you’re religious or not, cheating is just morally wrong. dont do it if you’re married. don’t help someone else do it if they’re married.
I have to agree with some of the statements mentioned here. There’s no need to go after a married man. He’ll never be available, even if they divorce. He won’t be able to love you fully.
Five reasons is too many. The fact that one person is married should be enough of a reason to walk away.
Hard hitting post on this prevalent scenario I so often hear or read of people having affair with married person.
This is such a powerful post. It is such a touchy subject but it totally needs to be addressed because I see more and more of this all the time.
I feel like so much of the married man dating fault falls to the women, as if breaking up a home or anything along those lines is the woman’s fault. I prefer to leave religion out of it and focus on why a married man isn’t appropriate to be in a relationship with on those grounds alone.
This is a great guide for Christian women. I will be sure to share your blog to like-minded folks.
How interesting! I have never thought of this issue from that perspective, but it makes perfect sense!
I am a Christian woman who had an affair with a married man. I begged God for the strength and grace to know and to do His Holy will, and it was given me. I ended it. It hurt terribly for a time- for far less time than I would have thought. I told my close friends the truth and they were very kind and supportive. The pain of being in the affair was the slow deadening kind, and the pain of getting out was excruciating. There is tremendous freedom, peace, and joy in my life now, though, and I am so happy and thankful to Our Lord Jesus Christ for giving me what I need to do His holy will and behave as a truly God honouring lady. Glory to Him for all things!
God bless you❤️. You are a true testimony to a God fearing woman ❤️. I can only hope and pray that the woman who is living with my husband fully aware that he is a married man with 3 special needs children that he doesn’t even bother with regularly, will come to her senses and repent and leave this adulterous relationship. God’s wrath is no joke.
THANK YOU FOR THIS! VERY UPLIFTING!
I am glad you enjoyed it.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. VERY TRUE and UPLIFTING.
I am a christian.
But what about the men?…..they are so largely at fault.
Yes men can be at fault. But the thing is that we can never control other people. We can just control ourselves and what we do, how we choose to participate or now participate. For example, I know plenty of married men that have come up to me and yes that is their fault. But I choose not to even give them the time of day. I cannot control what they do, but I can control what I do. They may move on to the next woman if that is the type of man he is, and she may give him the time of day. But my hands are clean of it.
This is so truthful. Especially #2. Affair is not love. He leaves the stress of a home, bills, children and work to act like a teenager with a mistress. The wife is part of his mature life and a mistress can never be in that life. Men still love their wife and family they like how a mistress makes them feel young, wanted and carefree. When his wife finds out he will rather lose you then her. Because he never loved you. I tried to explain this to my cousin Prisca-Bijou. The man tells her that he stays with his wife for financial reasons. However I know his wife and I know this is not the truth. They were having fertility issues and sex became a chore for them both. The love is still there. When she found out she left him and he tried to kill himself. He didnt care about Prisca. He wanted his wife back.
Wow, thank you for writing this. So many truths laid out there for all to read and contemplate. I myself have felt pursued by an unhappily married man. I have not given in but at times I could see how it could happen especially when that person knows all the right things to say. It has been tempting but I know right from wrong and have been on the other end as the hurt wife and it’s not a happy place. I won’t do that to a woman.
I am glad you enjoyed it and thanks for your comment.
What about polygamy. My husband now believes God sent this unmarried woman to him. I don’t want it. Trying to tell him it’s wrong. He says it’s his right as a man. Help! I’m dying inside when they text or call each other. I can’t tell him otherwise. Even showed him scriptures.
I am posting a video on this on Youtube. Just tell him this. When in the Bible has more than one woman ever worked out. David cheated with Bathsheeba and God killed their child. And David’s children from different wives rebelled against him. And one of his children actually raped his daughter for another wife. And although Solomon had many wives, all his wives actually took his focus away from God. Yes, men in the Bible did it, but every time they did. It all went wrong. Not to mention in the new testament it said everyone man has his own wife and one woman her husband. God does not want us to do that.
Tell me when is a man and woman not married. After the legal process is finally settled or when they not living together?
This is good i like this post. thank you for this…. some married women still leave their husbands simply bcoz of their selfishness most especially money. Even when the wife of the man in question is their friend they still do not care as far as they satisfy their evil desire.
This is good i like this post. thank you for this…. some married women still leave their husbands simply bcoz of their selfish interest most especially money. Even when the wife of the man in question is close to them they still do not care as far as they satisfy their evil desire.even when the wife of the man is aware they will stylishly want to deny or exonerate themselves thinking that they are smart not knowing that they’re fooling themselves you cannot outsmart God bcoz he knows our thoughts whether good or bad. what ever you do in life have consequences enjoy now and pay later.karma will always dish out whatever you deserve I thank God for God bcoz he is not a partial God and also not the author of confusion.
This is good i like this post. thank you for this…. some married women still leave their husbands for another married man simply bcoz of their selfish interest most especially money. Even when the wife of the man in question is close to them they still do not care as far as they satisfy their evil desire.even when the wife of the man is aware they will stylishly want to deny or exonerate themselves thinking that they are smart not knowing that they’re fooling themselves you cannot outsmart God bcoz he knows our thoughts whether good or bad. what ever you do in life have consequences enjoy now and pay later.karma will always dish out whatever you deserve I thank God for God bcoz he is not a partial God and also not the author of confusion.
Thank you for your comment.