To listen to the blog post “Are Your High Standards Keeping You Single? ” over reading it just click the play button below.
Do you wonder “Why am I still single?” and if your high standards have something to do with it. If so, I am sure that you have heard thousands of reasons. The way you see it, you are a completely functional woman and there is no good reason why you are single. But then everyone around you wants to pester you about a man and then give you their unsolicited advice as to why you DON’T have one.
You are too picky, you are too independent, your expectations are too high, you want too much out of a relationship, or (you fill in the blank). And even if all these reasons were true. So what? A relationship is one of the most fulfilling things you can have and therefore you do not need to sit around and settle for just anyone to spend your precious time with.
So instead of regurgitating the same nonsense that you have heard about you being single and blaming it on YOU. I am going to dispel some of these myths so that you can feel more comfortable and confident in the choices that you have made. For all you 30 plus women who are single be sure to check out my blog (here).
Now on to the rest of the post, you ready.
High Standards That May Be Keeping You Single Myths #1 You’re too picky?
If you are wondering why am I still single and one of the high standards that you have is that you have been told you are too picky consider this. Even if you are too picky you have a right to be. You do not just have to settle down with ole body. If a man does not have his crap together, a job, or wants you to take care of him as his mother then you have the right to say no thank you. At the end of the day whoever, you choose to marry you are going to be stuck with them for the rest of your life unless you get a divorce.
This means that you need to be able to actually like him as a person and you need to feel comfortable in their choices and their ability as a husband. You can’t afford NOT to be picky, because marrying anyone would lead you into a marriage with a person you don’t like, who spends all of your money, or who does not want to get a job. You have a right to be picky and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Also, check out my video below for more red flags to look for when dating and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
High Standards That May Be Keeping You Single Myths #2 You’re too independent, assertive, and/or arrogant.
Case in point me
If you are wondering why am I still single and one of the high standards you have is being told you are too independent. Consider this, I once had this guy who wanted to date me tell me that I was TOO independent. And asked me if I cared? NOPE. Because at the end of the day no matter if a man is with me or not, my bills are paid, I can handle my own life, and I do not have to depend on a man to do that. And if a man left me today I would know how to pick up with my life and continued on without missing a beat.
Case in point: My friend
I once had a friend who was married to a high-powered lawyer and he divorced her. She later went on to sleep on her friend’s couch and is now working a minimum wage job. All my friend does is complain about the once fabulous life that she once had and now she doesn’t. My point in telling you this is that being independent and being able to handle your own is a good thing.
You never know what is around the corner and when/or if a man is going to break up with you, you want to be able to still live the good life. And if you are depending on a man for your entire well-being and he leaves then what?
Men should not be intimidated by your assertiveness or confidence, a real man should want a woman with these traits to join forces with so they can conquer the world together. Any man who tries to tell you that the positive traits you have are bad, then that is an insecure man. No man should want to make you feel bad for being awesome.
The disclaimer to this is that assertive is not a bad thing nor is being independent. There is a difference between assertive and aggressive (see my blog here). So you need to determine if you really are assertive or if you are a jerk. Also, you do not want to be arrogant that is a bad thing. Classy women (see my blog here) know how to stand out without giving off the arrogant vibe.
High Standards That May Be Keeping You Single Myth #3 You don’t show a man that you NEED him enough.
I am all for showing a man appreciation, but let men earn your appreciation. Another side effect of high standards is understanding that a man cannot sit around my house and do absolutely nothing for me and expect for me to give him a round of applause or worship the ground that he walks on, just because he is there. Never chase after a man. Click here to read more on chasing a man.
And never feel like you have to worship a man because you are single AND most importantly YOU don’t need anyone. To bring home my point I want to take a chapter out of my book for single women (which you can click here to buy or read more about).
If you are a single woman sitting here, waiting for someone to come, rescue you, and attach himself to the other half of your body so that he can complete you, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. The downside to wanting someone to complete you is that you are literally resting your entire happiness in that other person. You do not need for any MAN or PERSON to be that one for you. Relationships should add to who you are and what you already have and NOT be the sole source for your happiness.
High Standards That May Be Keeping You Single Myth #4 Your beliefs are outdated.
Wondering why am I still single and if your outdated beliefs is the cause? Even as the highly educated and independent woman I am, I do have some values about relationships that are very old school for a lack of a better word. And the downside is that many men in this day and age don’t agree with them and it may make it harder to find someone who goes along with the same values.
I believe in a man being a provider and being chivalrous. And if you still have the same values that are “outdated” and are having trouble getting a man that holds the same values then that is fine. You can hold on to your beliefs. There is no need to compromise on something that you know you want. Yes, there may be more men than DON’T meets the criteria over the ones that do.
But when you meet the one that do you will be happier to a meet a man that is what you want him to be as opposed to compromising and taking a man that is NOT what you want him to be. I have a video down below where I spoke about a woman who did everything while her man did nothing to show you what I am talking about.
High Standards That May Be Keeping You Single Myth #5 Want Your Equal?
As a woman with high standards know that the higher you get in success the more difficult it can be to find your “equal” for a lack of a better word. You may want someone who has equal education, equal relationship views, equal income, and the higher you are the smaller your applicants of qualified bachelors become. I am going to take another excerpt from my book for single women which you can buy here.
Being equally yoked means there is a relationship between two people that have similar things to offer each other and balance each other out. One person should not be leeching off the other. One person should not be bringing everything to the table while the other person brings nothing. This balance can come in all different types of ways, but essentially the relationship should NOT be unbalanced.
If you are a high-value woman looking for a high-value man then it can be HARDER to find someone that you feel is equally yoked with you meaning that you may spend some extra time single.
“It’s better to spend your time being single waiting for the right man than it is frustrating yourself and wasting your time with men who just want to waste your time.”
Case in point: My Friend
My friend is a successful real estate agent who was tired of being single. And so she got into a relationship with and married a man who was not her equal, did not want to work, and was very lazy. Soon after they got married after he left his first wife, he quit his job and she has been taking care of him since.
That was seven years ago. I think if you were to ask my friend it would have been much better to stay single and possibly wait for a man that could offer her something instead of taking the first guy that came along, marrying him, and now having to go take care of him because he brings nothing to the table.
In the end, being single is not a bad thing, and know that the higher your standards are and the more that you require the fewer men are going to find you and the less you will be dating and getting into a relationship with. BUT that is not a bad thing. You should rather spend your time on good prospects than just any prospects.
If you know an amazing woman that is single and may need some encouragement then feel free to share this post with her.