To listen to the blog post “Learn To Accept The Things You Cannot Change In 5 Easy Steps” over reading it just click the play button below.
You must learn to accept the things you cannot change. It seems like common sense because you can’t change it so why continue to worry about it or even try to change it. But yet and still there are so many people sacrificing their own mental sanity because they continue to drive themselves crazy over things that they cannot fix or change anyway. Some people refuse to accept the past things that were done to them and so they continue to carry the pain with them from the past allowing it to affect their present and their future.
Some people cannot accept the things they cannot change in the present and so they spend all of their mind space worried about that ONE thing instead of worrying about more important things that deserve their attention. And changing both of these patterns of behavior is something that I am here to talk to you about. Because, when you refuse to accept the things you cannot change you allow your mind to live in internal torment.
Your mind goes round and round in circles trying to figure out an alternative to change something that is literally unchangeable. So instead of doing that, you need to accept what you cannot change, change what you can, and if you can’t change it you just have to build a bridge and get over it. This is what I am going to help you with.
1. Accept The Things You Cannot Change Because It is In The Past
In my Single Mom’s devotional (which you can buy here) I said an interesting thing about the past that I first want you to read to prove my point:
I want you to know that the past does not define your present or your future. You may be a divorcee, a widow, a one-night stand, a woman that has never been married, or a woman who became a mother through an unplanned pregnancy. It does not matter. What does matter is today? Today is a new day, yesterday is gone and passed away. And with every renewing day, you have an opportunity to re-invent yourself. But the key to stepping into your future is letting go of the past.
(You can also get the first chapter of the book for free by clicking here or the picture below). Or click here to buy.
- How many times have you sat and thought about something that you did in the past and allowed it to dictate your future?
- How many times have you sat and still wanted to be with that ex, and won’t allow yourself to move on?
- How many times do you keep thinking about what an ex did to you, what your parents did to you, or what a friend did to you? And how many times have you ended up getting frustrated because of these thoughts?
If this is you, it is okay because this is many people. This is also one of those times where you need to accept the things you cannot change. Often times people develop low self-esteem or low self-worth based on what someone has told them about themselves in the past (click here to read more on this topic). Many people are single today because they cannot let go of the ex that dumped them 5 years ago. And really what it all comes down to this. You cannot change the way that people treated you. You cannot change the fact that they called you dumb, stupid, fat, and made you feel bad about yourself.
2. Accept The Things You Cannot Change Because There Is No Time Machine
Just like you cannot make your ex take you back nor can you change any decision that you have ever made. You cannot make your parents not have hit you with a belt, you cannot change the fact that your dad walked out on you, whatever it is that you are thinking about you cannot change it. There is no time machine, there are no do-overs, and the only person that it is affected is you. Do you think that someone is sitting around caring or even remembering what they did to you in the past?
Probably not. So if you cannot change it, if the other person does not care, and if this is causing you to be upset and angry, then why continue to feed into it? You can accept and understand that something happened and then you can choose to move on and not give it life by thinking about it time and time again.
Because the more you think about it and how much it hurts you, it is like you are still stuck in the past allowing the same event that ended God knows how long ago affect you in the present and even in the future. Also check out my video down below for tips on how to learn how not to give a crap about what people think. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
3. Accept The Things You Cannot Change Is It Messing Up Your Present?
When you refuse to accept the things you cannot change in the present it may look a little something like this. Your man wants to leave you, you know he doesn’t love you but you refuse to let go. Instead, you try to change his mind, you chase him, sleep with him, and try to show him how much you love him when really deep down inside he has told you it is over.
Another example may be that you have a friend who is a backstabber. She talks about you, is your frenemy, and she makes you feel bad about yourself. She has been like this since you have known her and instead of letting go you try to change her and make her into a friend that you need her to be.
Another example may be that you are in a relationship and the person treats you like the dirt on their bottom of their shoe. Instead of just accepting it and moving on you just try to change them and make them be the one who loves you. Which I have a video on that you can watch down below.
What all these situations have in common is that they are situations in which other people are the problem and instead of accepting that and moving on you are sitting trying to change them and the situation. No matter if a person is right or if they are wrong, they have the right to be a jacked-up individual if they want to. You could have been a wonderful wife to your husband and he could come home one day and divorce you for no good reason other than he wants to.
No, it does not make it right but why try to change it? Why try to force someone to be or do something they don’t want to be or do? And because they don’t want to change you will frustrate yourself in the process. Whatever the present situation or people you are dealing with ask yourself if it is really your problem or something or someone else’s problem?
And if the answer is someone or something else, then leave their issue with them and move on. It will make your life a lot more stress-free if you accept the reality of a situation and if it is bad or frustrating then to just about your business. One way to accept the things you cannot change is to don’t try to change it, them, him, her, or whatever move on.
4. Accept The Things You Cannot Change Because If You Don’t It Will Affect Your Future
When you refuse to accept the things you cannot change you are refusing to let go. By refusing to let go it will affect your future. For example, you could still have low self-esteem now because your class kept calling you ugly when you were in the 5th grade and now 20 years later you are still suffering from the same issue. Getting into bad relationships or not thinking that you are worthy of a good relationship all because of what some kids said in grade school.
And all those people who did not like you, you let them send you into depression. People spend YEARS in depression or being angry all because once upon ago someone did something bad to them in the past. So now here you are in the future with a life that sucks because you could not get over things that were beyond your control and you really could not have changed anyway.
Had you just accepted the things you could not change you would have lived a happier life, you could have high self-esteem instead of being depressed, single, and chasing men that don’t want you. Now, remember that boyfriend who treated you like dirt. Instead of letting him go, you hung in there, thinking you can change him, and so he ended up marrying you after a while, and now you are in a marriage where he still treats you like dirt. One where he does not work, wants you to take care of him, cheats on you, and does not help with the kids.
And you are in the situation because you just COULD NOT LET GO. You could not accept that this person did not want to be in your life, did not want you, and you sought to change him and as a result, he is the same person only now you are stuck with him. Refusing to accept that you had a crappy boyfriend has now lead you having a crappy husband and a crappy marriage.
5. Accept The Things You Cannot Change ~ What’s my point:
My overall point is, do not get so stuck in life that you keep going around the same mountain, failing the same test, causing yourself psychological damage because you cannot accept what was happened to you in your past and/or present. Accept the way people have treated you, accept what has happened to you, accept the people in your life as is, and accept the situations in your life as is BUT only if you cannot change them.
Saying that you are broke and don’t have a job is not what I mean because you can always get a job. I am talking about situations outside of yourself that you have no control over. The only person you can control is you and in every situation you need to ask yourself what YOU can do to make yourself happy that does not:
- A. impeded on other people’s free will (i.e trying to change someone)
- B. Changing the unchangeable (i.e changing the past or some other situation you have no control over).
Once you are able to master these two things I promise you, you will see your life change for the better. Also consider getting my Christian Manfestation Guide with 29 postive affirmations and Bible verses that can help you with your mindset and to accept the things you cannot change. Just click here to buy.
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Yesssss!!!! I have been struggling for a LONG time to learn these lessons, and have only recently been able to start letting things come as they are and go as they please…it is hard to change and adapt to that way of thinking but it sure does wonders for our stress levels when we do!
Great post! Very encouraging! Keep it up!
This is so timely!
Very encouraging post. It’s so hard to focus on the future when the past is holding you down.