To listen to the blog post “Why Am I Single STILL!? 7 Legit Reasons Why That You Can Change” over reading it just click the play button below.
Why am I single still? Are you sitting around asking yourself that question that every single day or even multiple times a day? There are times where you are single and nothing could be wrong with you, you are a completely normal human being, but it can be harder for you to find the type of high caliber man you want because these days they can be like unicorns. The idea of them came from somewhere but we rarely have come in contact with one face to face.
And there could be other times that you may be asking yourself “What is wrong with me why am I single?” and legit there are a BUNCH of things wrong with you and you are the reasons for your singleness. There are times in which being single is not your fault and there may also be another reason why you’r still single including you being that reason.
And so you are in LUCK because I am going to uncover some reasons why you are still single. Some of which are your fault and some of which are not your fault. And hey, if some of this is your fault then guess what? It is all good because admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing your problem. So the sooner you are aware of it the sooner you can fix it. Now, let’s get into it shall we. But first, also be sure to check out my video below on why God is keeping you single and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
1. Why Am I Single Still ~ Because Maybe It Is Not the Right Time
There is a reason and a season for everything, and understanding what season you are in can help get rid of that single and lonely feeling. Sometimes it is not the right timing for relationships. Sometimes you need to finish school or move ahead in your career first. (Check out my am I ready to get married blog). I will use myself as an example.
I remember I wanted to be in a relationship so bad when I was getting both my Masters degree and my PhD degree but the fact of the matter was that if I had been in a relationship I would not have finished those degrees because I do not think my attention could have been on both. Or my relationships would have suffered therefore running a good relationship off because I would have been so focused on school.
But just because that is my reason does not mean that is your reason. Your life is not my life and you have to figure out what is the right timing for you. And ask yourself do you have time to really give 100% to a relationship right now, or are there other more important things that need your attention?
To further prove my point I actually want to take an excerpt out of my book for single women Fix It, Jesus! For Single Women Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvement (that you can click here to buy).
I always tell anyone who ask me that I thank God I did not get married five or even ten years ago. I was not the same woman then and I made some really bad decisions in relationships and with the men I chose to be in relationship with. I would have married a nightmare. As I grew, the type of men I was interested in grew, how I saw relationships grew and the type of wife I will be in the future will be better than the woman I was a few years ago.
If you want to get the first chapter of my book for single women FREE then click here to do so.
With the right timing comes maturity, comes you being in a better place, comes being attracted to better men, comes lessons that you need to learn and the only way that you could get that is simply by living life. So if you are still single and you are legit a good wonderful person, doing everything you need to do, and you are still wondering why? Then maybe the only answer is, it is really not time yet.
2. Why Am I Single Still ~ You need to work on yourself.
If you are asking yourself why am I single still I am going to say something you might not like. So many women do not like to hear that they need to work on themselves. That they are a hot mess and that to be with someone else would only bring the other person down. Being in a relationships is NOT to rescue you from all the problems, and issues that you have created in your own life.
If you are in a situation where you are depressed, unemployed, or keep making bad decisions in your life and you are wondering why everything keeps going to crap. Well then you are the reason. I want to take another excerpt from my book for single women to prove my point.
You remember the story of Moses and how the Israelites were supposed to get to the Promise Land but they roamed around in the desert for forty years for a trip that was only supposed to take them a few weeks? The generation that left Egypt never saw the Promised Land because they were too busy complaining and going against what God was telling them to do. The LORD's anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone. Numbers 32:13 (NIV) When it comes to you still being single, you have to really examine if you are going around the same mountain, making the same mistakes, doing the same tired things, and making the same wrong decisions and sitting there looking at God wondering why you are still single. You are stagnant because you refuse to move forward and you'd rather wander in the desert in the hot sun making the same mistake, not getting anywhere and wondering why you are getting more the same. It is because you are doing more of the same.
All in all, it is not fair to be in a relationship and bring your all of your burdens to the table. For them to make you happy but for you to have nothing to offer in return. Get yourself sorted out first and then you will have a better chance of being in a relationship. Click to my blog here on how to be single and happy.
Why am I single still quote to remember:
“Never depend on a relationship to make you happy.”
If you are not a happy single person, you will not be a happy in a relationship person.
3. Why Am I Single Still ~ You have problems, Like Crazy Girlfriend Problem
If you are not getting a second date (read my blog here on how to get a second date) or you are always the one getting broken up with; then you need to reflect on why that is. I can almost bet that you are the common denominator. You may be the one that has the problems and you may be the one that is driving people away. Which I have a video on an actual case study of a woman who drove a man away on a date you can watch it down below.
We all have issues (click here to read my blog on tacking relationship demons) but people will break up with you, when your issues are too much for them to bare. Being needy or telling a man that you are going to die or cannot live without him is not flattering it is crazy.
Why am I single still? Being argumentative, too jealous, and too possessive does not signify that you are a girlfriend wanting a relationship it signifies that you have insecurities. Always going through his phone or starting an argument for no apparent reason whatsoever other then you have imagined an issue in your brain (that does not exist) is not fun or something that any man wants to deal with. Granted relationships are very hard and are not perfect all of the time but if the BAD times outweigh the GOOD times and most of the BAD times are caused because you are crazy, then of course you are the problem.
4. Why Am I Single Still? ~ Because You Are Not Open
Why am I still single it could be becuase are way too closed off. Many women think that their man has to come in a package that they have made up in their head. But the thing is that they don’t know what they want and going after the men that is in their head has only caused them a bunch of drama so far.
So if any man (that could be a very good man) approaches you and is not exactly how you envisioned him then you are ready to cut him off. If he does not want to do and be exactly what YOU want to do and be then you cut him off. It has to be your way, all of the time, and anything outside of your way is an issue. Which I also talk about in my video down below on why men are not approaching you.
Why Am I Single Still ~ Case in point My Friend
I have a female friend that cries and cries and CRIES about being single. When I tried to hook her up on a date she complained that the date went bad because first, he did not look like Lebron James and that is what she wanted her man to look like. Second, he took her to X movie theater when really she only likes to go to Z movie theater. And then when they went out to go eat and she did not like that.
This guy was Caribbean and took her to a restaurant to show his type of culture of food and she did not like that because she did not like Caribbean food (even though she had never tried it) and did not want him to like it either. Even though he was in fact Caribbean. Which brings me to my next point that she did not like. That she did not see herself being with someone who was Caribbean.
No where in this did he curse her out, disrespect her, or do something that was rude. All of this was perceived things by her of what she thought should happen, how she thought they should happen, and when they did not happen the EXACT way she envisioned in her head, then he must not be it.
Many of you may be thinking this sound crazy but you have something similar about you. Such as if you don’t feel “love” at first sight then he is not it. Or if you don’t feel electric impulses or tingles then that means there is no connection.
Why am I single still ? True story : I was speaking to my friend and her husband about how they meant. He said at a party and literally they played pool together and talked for a few minutes and went about their separate ways. There was no love at first site, neither of them felt like this was their future spouse, they just got to know each other and then things just formed from there.
So if you are rejecting a man because how you meant him, where you meant him, what he said to you, and how he said it is not the EXACT way that you pictured OR that you do not feel that he is going to be your future husband at first site, then you may be closing yourself off to good potential men.
5. Why Am I Single Still ~ Your Standards Are Too High
So many women ask themselves why am I single still but they have a list a mile long and 3 miles wide. Many women have this long list of things that a man must have in order for them to be in a relationship. The fact of the matter is, is that no one is perfect. Not you and not the man that you are dating. You may think that a man has to be a certain height, have a six pack, have a certain type of job, and you just picture a man that does not exist in real life. In my book for single women (click here to buy) I made the following statement about myself.
Know the difference between a NEED and a WANT. I remember when felt I needed a man who was six feet tall with a six pack. But did I really need that or did I want that? What I needed was a man to compliment my personality. I needed a man that was going to love my son. So if a man captures everything I NEED but is 5 feet 10 inches, then I should not turn him away for such a superficial reason. It takes a good woman to really step back and say to herself, "What type of man do I need that will go well with me and my life?"
You can also click here or the picture below to get the first chapter of my book for free.
Do not be unrealistic in your expectations? You can want a fine man, one that you are attracted too, and even one that works out. But be reasonable and do not impose unrealistic standards on someone. And if he does not have that one or two things that you thought you wanted BUT is a good man in every other way otherwise then be open like the tip above and don’t just shut people down because they don’t meet every single unrealistic standard you set.
6. Why Am I Single Still ~ You Look A Hot Mess
If you are wondering why am I single still you need to take a look in the mirror. I know that looks are not everything. But more times than not, people want to date you because they see something about you that is attractive. Some men are attracted to women who smell good or who dress nice. I mean put yourself in their shoes.
If you saw a man (and he could be a great man) that did not have a hair cut, had holes in his clothes, did not shave, had stains on his clothes, chapped lips, and just looked like the rolled out of bed and put the nearest thing on and it does not even match and it didn’t even look like he looked in the mirror before he left.
Would you really say to yourself? “Oh wow, let me approach him he looks so attractive to me? I think that is my future man?” Probably not, so if it that type of appearance would not attract you then what makes you think that a raggedy appearance is going to attract him. You do not have to look like you are going on a runway every time you leave the house, but do put your best foot forward.
It is going to be hard for someone to want to get to know your inside, if you just do not care about how you look or want to take care of yourself on the outside. Why should someone else care about it when it appears that you do not even care about yourself? Read my blog here on why looks matter.
And you can also click here to download my 100% free year long capsule wardrobe ebook, that will teach you how to not look a mess while still keeping it affordable.
7. Why Am I Single Still Its Because You are Fake
The last tip that I am going to give on why am I single still is because you are fake. I know we don’t want to hear this but to prove my point I have to take another story for my book “Fix It, Jesus! For Single Women Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvement.”
True story: I once dated a guy and he kept asking all these questions expecting to catch me in a lie. He asked me how many kids I had. Then when I told him one, he would wait and ask me again and again just trying to catch me lying. When I finally asked him what in the world all this was about he said that he had dated a woman who first said that she had no kids and after dating for a while she said she had one kid. The relationship went on and she decided to move in with him and she showed up with three kids. I am sorry what? She told him that she thought he would not want to be with her because she had three kids. If someone does not want to be with you because you have three kids, then they are not the one for you. You cannot tuck your kids away in some closet or lie about the important parts of your life because you are scared to turn a man off.
So your situation may not be this extreme where you are hiding your kids away BUT so many women are fake. They pretend to be one way when really they are another. They pretend to be and do anything and everything they think a man wants to hear and say. But the truth of the matter is that being fake, being inauthentic, and not being yourself actually repeals men because literally they can see fake from a mile away. And being fake and pretending to be someone your not just is actually a turn off and smells of desperation.
I know women who are fake and pretend to be bougie, they laugh at all of his jokes, they pretend to be perfect, they don’t give their opinion and just agrees with everything a man says, they always put a smile of their face and laugh so that the man can see what a “happy and fun loving person they are” even when they are not happy and fun loving.
They lie about their upbringing, their background, and who they are because they want to pretend to be one way and they want a man to think higher of them then they really are. They are anyone and anybody but themselves trying to give the appearance of a perfectly agreeable woman that any man would want to be with when really they are just giving off the appearance of a robot.
And acting like a STEPFORD wife is is boring. No one wants someone that is not comfortable with who they are, has to lie about it, or is just pretending to be something else to make a man like them. And you will continue to attract the wrong men because instead of attracting men that like you for you, you are attracting men that are attracted to the fake person that you are pretending to be. These traits turn men off which I actually have a video on down below for other traits that turn men off.
Okay so these are my 7 tips on why am I single still. If you know someone who may need to read this post then go ahead and share it with them.
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