To listen to the blog post “How To Deal With A Workplace Bully Like A Boss” over reading it then click the play button below.
Want to know how to deal with a workplace bully, then you have come to the right place because I am not only going to tell you how to deal with workplace bullying but I am going to tell you how to master them, conquer them, and like a boss. As someone who has dealt with workplace bullying (or at least they tried it) I am very very familiar with the issue. People have tried to bully me for my race, my sex, because they thought they could, but on any given day bullies never prosper. Just know that they can try but bullies only have power if you give it to them and you do have a choice in giving your power away.
Workplace bullying is a huge phenomenon that goes on in the workplace believe it or not. Now before I tell you what to do about workplace bullying, I want to tell you that workplace bullying is something that can occur to anyone. As I have even been a victim of it myself on several occasions, yes several occasions as in more once.
So do not think that it is a reflection of you, who you are, or something you did. It is often a reflection of the bully. But before we get into the video, I want you to check out my video on the ways that I was actually bullied in the workplace. It is a skit and pretty funny but in a sad and true way AND don’t forget to subscribe to my channel for more awesome content.
Now in case you are feeling like you are alone in the workplace bullying situation then let’s talk facts. According to Forbes 75% of workers are affected by workplace bullying. And is defined by, Workplace bullying. Org, as abusive conduct that is: threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or work-interference, i.e. sabotage, which prevents work from getting done.
I can go into the ins and outs of workplace bullying but if you are a victim of workplace bullying then you know how it feels and you do not need me to come and tell you the working definition of it. What you want to know is how to deal with a workplace bully and so I am going to tell you exactly how to do it like a boss.
1. Know How To Deal With A Workplace Bully By Learning To Ignore it
One of the ways on how to handle a workplace bully is to not even give them the time of day. I know this is easier said than done but when I was a victim of workplace bullying I just ignored it. If you are a reader of my blog then you know that I believe that no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow it. I do not just mean ignore it but I mean ignore it like a boss.
Do not look insecure, do not look nervous, do not stick to yourself and be scared to walk around the workplace. I mean ignore it with confidence when you walk into the workplace look as though you are unphased and unbothered by the nonsense going on around you. Talk to people, speak to those around you, with a smile on your face, do not let anyone make you sink down in a shell and disappear. Bullies want to take away your power and you have to choose NOT to give it to them.
You can be the master of your emotions (click here to read my blog). You do not have to feel insecure or inadequate around your workplace bullies because they have no power over you (also read my blog on how to deal with people trying to bring you down), and when you ignore and be graceful in the process that is when you take away their power over you.
2. How To Deal With A Workplace Bully By Killing them with kindness
The second way on how to handle a workplace bully is to kill them with kindness. I know that you have come here to learn how to deal with a workplace bully and the last thing you want to hear is to be nice to them but hear me out. As I mentioned this is not high school so your workplace bullying encounter should not be out of the scene of the movie Mean Girls.
At the end of the day, you can be the bigger person and you can kill them with kindness (click to read my blog on being kind to your enemies). Not because you are weak and you feel the need to, but because you are on your grown woman status and that is what professional grown women do. Anyone can get mean to someone who is mean to them. But it takes someone bigger to be professional in the sight of someone acting immature.
Check out my blog on assertive communication versus aggressive communication. You need to behave like you are in the workplace and communicate in a way that is representative of a professional person. Never stoop down to the level of workplace bullying. Rise above all of that nonsense.
BUT I also do not want you to be a doormat to please do not misunderstand what I am saying. When I say kill them with kindness this is not suck up to them, run and get their coffee, and be their errand girl so that they can leave you alone. You are not their dog for goodness sake.
That means that you are going to be nice to them but you are still going to stand in your power and demand respect, but you are just going to be nice while doing it. There is a fine balance the last thing you want your bully to think is that you are bowing down to them because you are scared, no you are being nice because you are a professional and because it is the right thing to do not because you are fearful.
3. How To Deal With A Workplace Bully ~ Remember To Back Yourself Up.
The third way on how to handle a workplace bully is to have your own back. One thing that you must remember when you want to know how to deal with a workplace bully ALWAYS and I MEAN ALWAYS back yourself up. When I was going through my workplace bullying situations at one point my boss was trying to bully me, my co-worker was trying to bully me, and there were times they were trying to make me lose my job, get me in trouble or even write me up but hey couldn’t because I STAYED backing myself up. I spoke about this on my how to deal with difficult co-workers and bosses blog. And I have a Christian clapback video so that you can learn how to clap back in the appropite way, that you can watch below.
That is communicate everything in writing, always have a third party with you in the room, and back up your work to places you only have access to. If I noticed that there is a violation of the workplace rules or if the supervisor has said something that in work inappropriate to me, I do not just follow up in writing but I even send the email to my personal email so that I will have a copy just in case somehow things in my work email go missing.
Also know your job, know the policies better than anyone knows the policies and always follow them. This way when someone tries to attack your work ethic you have actual proof, you will be able to back up your actions, you will be able to make notations on what other violations they are making. It is NOT about being a snitch it is about backing yourself.
When I was going through my workplace bullying and a co-worker kept making racially motivated remarks toward me, I noticed the day, the time, and who was in the room which just so happen to be 3 upper level management staff. And when I filed a complaint I noted the exact policy that was violated and who was there when it happened.
I am going to step out of my professional realm here and say something to you that I live by. Often times when people bully you there are people that will tell you to live in fear, that is what many of my co-workers told me. And I responded in the famous words of Lil Wayne “What’s A Goon To A Goblin?” Meaning yes, they may be a goon but I am a goblin and so we are both scary individuals and do not feel the need to cower in the face of a bully simply because they have the title bully. You are pretty scary yourself and let’s see if they can bend to you.
How to deal with a workplace bully True story. At one job, I used an online case management system to type in my mental health notes. That is how I got paid and if I did not turn in my notes I did not get paid. I went into the system one morning to make sure everything was in order only to find that someone came in and DELETED my notes! Which took me hours to do and it meant that without notes I could not get paid. I did not panic because I backed up all my notes in a Word Document on my computer. Problem solved. With workplace bullies, you always have to be ahead of the curve.
How to deal with a workplace bully Another True Story. A workplace bully threaten to go to HR on me because she was stating that I was bullying her when in fact she was bullying me. I dared her to go ahead, reminding her of the many witnesses that had observed her making culturally and racially inappropriate remarks against me not to mentioned the fact that I followed up with them via email asking them did they hear what that person said to me and they did confirm in writing (which I turned into HR) that she was in fact the bully. Needless to say she backed off. Like I said, what is a goon to a goblin, do not back down, or bow down to anyone instead protect yourself and make sure you put everything in writing.
4. How To Handle A Workplace Bully ~ Learn How To Deal With A Workplace Bully By Just Doing Your Job
Have you ever heard that saying? That it will be really hard for people to come against you if they have no reason to come against you for? And that is true, I mean yes they may still try to come against you but it makes it a lot harder if you are a freakin boss in what you do. If you know your job backward and forward and if you are working with morals and integrity then it will be hard for people to come against you without looking like a jerk.
While they are busy being a child trying to bully you, you are busy being better at what you do. Which will do one or two things. Get you a promotion and then you will be the bully’s boss or you will just be the best and what you do and be able to apply for a promotion somewhere else thus getting you away from the bully anyway. Remember a job is just a job not a your life. Get what you need from it and move on.
How To Handle A Workplace Bully ~ Case in point: Daniel
Then the [other two] commissioners and the satraps began trying to find a reason to bring a complaint against Daniel concerning the [administration of the] kingdom; but they could find no reason for an accusation or evidence of corruption, because he was faithful [a man of high moral character and personal integrity], and no negligence or corruption [of any kind] was found in him. Then these men said, “We will not find any basis for an accusation against this Daniel unless we find something against him in connection with the law of his God.” DANIEL 6:4
Take a lesson from Daniel, do the right thing and it will be hard for people to come against you and when they do because you did the right thing God will protect you.
5. How To Handle A Workplace Bully ~ Report the Issue
The best way on how to deal with a workplace bully is to report them. If the workplace bullying is so bad that you feel that you need direct intervention then as an employee you have options. As an employee, you do have rights to be in a harassment-free environment.
- How To Handle A Worplace Bully ~ Your HR ~ every company has an HR department and this should be your first step in reporting and workplace bullying concerns that you have. I have also worked somewhere, where HR was useless because they may want to protect the boss or often times they do not want issues or as a company they do not want to admit to “workplace bullying” and so they do not really address it and that is when you move on to other options.
- How To Handle A Workplace Bully Ethics Line~ Often times established companies have an ethics line in which you can reports ethical violations. This includes workplace bullying. Often times you can do this anonymously if you really do not want to open up. An investigation will take place and this is where your evidence on backing yourself can come into play. Because that is where you submit your evidence. And see you will be glad that you took the time to actually put everything in writing and to have witnesses to everything.
- How To Handle A Workplace Bully EEO ~ This is the employment equal opportunity in your state. Now this can vary from state to state, but there are many states that cover workplace bullying. This is yet another avenue you can turn to if you are a victim. This is helpful if you are being bullied due to your race, sex, or disability.
- How To Handle A Workplace Bully Whistle blower: Remember all that evidence I told you to collect. This is the place to put it. In most of the places that I have been bullied I noticed that they tend to have ethical violations in the workplace. You cannot expect someone who is a pretty crappy human being to have a great work ethic. So a lot of time bullying and ethical violations go hand in hand. I have actually been bullied because I did not want to lie, cheat, or do something unethical to cover up a mess up by the company. Do not give in and do something that is morally wrong just report it. Simple as that.
I know that workplace bullying can be hard but as someone who has gone through it I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it has always made me stronger. That is why I am giving you the best tips that I can give you on how to deal with a workplace bully and I promise you that these are the best ways.
Do not fall into the world of when people don’t like you or when people come against you, you have to lay down and die and take it. No, just fight back and choose to be a boss in the process, and let you be the last person they ever decide to bully. Doing it with grace, prettiness, godliness, and kindness. If you know someone who is experiencing workplace bullying then share this post with them.