Hard To Find A Good Man? 10 Tips On How To Find A Good Man

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So many women think that it is hard to find a good man. When I say how to find a good man what I should say is where to find a good man and then draw him in with your attractiveness and positive energy.  This is more about putting yourself in position to find a good man not about jumping through hoops, being desperate, and doing the absolute most to grab the attention of a man.

Before I give my tips and tricks on where to find a good man I want to first give a disclaimer.  These are just ideas so that you can come into contact with good men.  This is by no means a way for you to chase down a man (see my blog here for more on that) or put yourself on display in a provocative manner so that you can attract the most men, because going about it like that is a mistake (see my blog here for more on that).

If that is the type of post that you were looking for then I suggest that you click off now.  I also suggest you check out my video on why you are not getting approached by men.  Because YES, I will be the first to admit that it is hard to find a good man. But you don’t want your own self standing in your way, so it is best to fix yourself first to give you the best chances for finding a good man.

1. It Is Hard To Find A Good Man But It Can Be Easier If You Know How To Attract One

But before you go venturing out you need to  be a high value woman. Because you are going to attract what you put out. And if you want a good man then attract a good man. And a quick way to do that is to simply watch  my video below so that you can know how to act.  It is not just about looking good, it is about having the right type of attitude to go along with it.  And of course if you like what you watch then done forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here.  

2. How To Find A Good Man ~ Don’t Be Vulgar In How You Dress

The main points that I am going to give you about how to find a good man is going to focus on the type of places in which you are going to put yourself in. And the main reason is this, because putting yourself in the areas in which good men are, will increase your chances of encountering good men.  Yes it can be hard to find a good man BUT I do not think that you should be finding as in chasing and hunting down, I do believe that I have said that. BUT you can put yourself in position to be found. And you can put out a certain persona to be noticed by the good men over the bad.  And not just by the way you act like I talked about above.  Because men will only notice how you act unless they talk to you, but it is how you dress.

Some men may just gravitate toward you because you are being too suggestive sexually and they just think they are going to get some. This is what you don’t want.  That is a vulture not a good man. So please remember that there is a balance between being attractive and there is a balance between being overly sexual. Both may get you the attention of a man but only one is the attention that you want.   So it is important for you to put out the perception that you are a keeper.  And if you do not believe me because I am a woman I want to put out a quote from the book written by a man (Played or be Played) which you can click here to buy in which he said the following: 

When a man first meets a woman he will put her into two potential categories:
  • The potential girlfriend category.
  • The potential sex partner category.
 Now the requirements for a woman to be placed in the potential girlfriend category vary, depending on a man's particular wants and needs. Before a man places a woman in this category, he looks at her credentials. And the credentials could in- clude a hundred things. A man might take a woman's educational background into consideration. He might consider her culinary skills. He might take her sense of humor, her diet regimen, her sex appeal, or a host of other things into consid- eration before he puts a woman into the potential girlfriend category.  But it doesn't take much for a man to put a woman into the potential sex partner category. The requirements are minimal. As a matter of fact, a woman just needs to have two things in order to get placed into the potential sex partner category:  

1.A poon-tang 

2.A pulse

Now you can imagine to be seen as someone who is a potential girlfriend then you want to be seen for something other than sex, and since you are going to be going to places to meet men then you need to put forth a great first impression by the way you look, not just by looking pretty but also by looking classy. I want you to watch a video on how to dress like a classy woman even when keeping your personal style and no matter what budget you on.

More than anything you want your connection with a man to organic, something that naturally evolves. You do not want to come off as a lioness hunting for her prey.  And you do not want to be prey for men who are just looking for one thing.  Remember you want to attract good men. And dressing in a way that is too vulgar will repel a good man and not attract them to you.  You can also click here to download my 100% free capsule wardrobe ebook that will give you ideas on how to dress and what to wear on a date.

year long capsule wardrobe

3. If It Is Hard To Find A Good Man You Can Find A Good Man At Happy Hour

Happy hour is an ideal place to find a good man BUT it needs to be done right. I have been to a happy hour where good quality men are and I have been to a happy hour that was short of being a twerk club.  If you want to find good quality men to talk to, then you need to go to happy hours that are more in a business or in a working district.

Happy hours typically occur after work which means that people tend to want to go to a happy hour near their job.  Meaning that going toward a business or working district means that business or working men will be there.  When I think of a good man, one of the things that you should ideally want is a man that has a job and a good head on his shoulders career wise.  Therefore going to a happy hour when you are more likely to bump into a career oriented man is a good idea. Also check out my blog on what to where to happy hour coming from work by clicking here.

When you are looking into the type of happy hours to go to YELP is your friend, Google maps is your friend, or just the search bar is your friend.  Where is the city, where do most people work, where are the higher paying job.  This NOT about being a gold digger.  I am not about being using people I am about finding a good man that has an actual job so looking for happy hours with this criteria ensure that men will have one.

Knowing that going to a happy hour where men have to go to work in suits will ensure that they are more professional, they have passed a background check to work at their job, and they are less likely to be crazy.  Do not trust just because they are business men they are good men and then go sleep with them in the first night.  As with any and everyone you encounter they take vetting.

No matter where they work or how they come across you still have to get to know the person. Below is an example of what you should not wear.  Do not confuse professional for tight, and letting everything hang out.  Just because it is a pencil skirt or a blouse does not make it professional if it is low cut and too tight.

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Instead you can have something fitted for happy hour that shows off your feminine style and that looks sexy, just do not go over board and do the most.  Take it down a notch and still look attractive just not overkill. Click here to see my happy hour outfits. 

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4. Hard To Find A Good Man? Then Try The Gym

Once again, the placement of the gym does matter.  When I worked in a career driven area and there was a gym (a very nice one across the street). I took a kick boxing class there and indeed there was good quality men there. And that is because the gym was about 10 miles away from the Pentagon, the average income of the area was a little over 112K, and the average home value is $695,000 therefore you can assume that the people around there are going to be but so unproductive.

It is also a huge working area, people are often running outside, and it is a huge happy hour spot.  The good thing about the gym is that if you like to be fit and exercise then you are really going to bump into men who also prioritizes fitness since they are in the gym as well. So it is like you have something in common already just by meeting a man there.

But I also have to warn you DO NOT come across to thirsty.  Men can smell that from miles away.  You are there to work out even if you do want to meet a man. I can show you better then I can tell you. This would be an example of what being too thirsty at the gym looks like.

Wearing tights with no underwear or a thong, so much so that people can see through you pants and your naked booty. And then you have the nerve to do some squats. The only place that this looks sexy is in the imaginary world of Instagram models where they are trying to gain followers, not in the real world where you are looking for a good man. Below is a picture of where this is just too much.

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Now on the other hand we have this, it is a fine balance of you looking cute, you can workout, and you looking like you are not trying to hard to catch a man and you looking like you are not being too thirsty. Please note the difference.  Just put on some underwear and wear a loser shirt so that when you bend no one can see between your butt crack.  Tone down the super glam look (you are going to the gym not the red carpet) and now you take it from thirst trap to normal looking hot girl ready to meet a man. I warn you do not tone it TOO down you do not want to look crazy. You want to look to still look attractive just not look like you are trying too hard.

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You can also check out my video down below for more stylish YET appropriate gym attire.

5. If It Is Hard To Find A Good Man ~ Perhaps Finding a Good Man In Church

Now I am going to put a disclaimer out there and I want all women to hear me well.  DO NOT just go to church so that you can find a man.  Your first reason for going to church is to be closer to God.  However, there are many churches especially big ones that have singles ministries and groups and things of that nature.  Which makes finding a good man. Ideally, joining a single’s ministry pretty much tells you that the guy is single that way you won’t have to guess.  And with you both being in church you have something in common and that is God.

Which ideally means that you can build off of that spiritual connection. I also want to warn you that there are men who go to church to feed off church women so do not just get so caught up in meeting a man at church that you sleep with him and do something crazy.  As a Christian woman myself always maintain your church principles and use your gift of discernment before dealing with someone to ensure that God wants you deal with them or not.  Don’t just think because you meant them in church they they are a good man.

Now I know God says that we should not judge anyone. And I am one of those people that think we should come before God as we are. BUT Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves modestly and appropriately and discreetly in proper clothing. 1 Timothy 2:9. Which is why I should not see you in something this in church. And I feel like it should not even need an explanation as to why.

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Now the below outfit on the other hand is good. Remember to be appropriate in church the focus is on God not on you and if you just so happen to meet someone in the process then great.  But really focus on those ministries like the single’s ministries that will help you meet someone.

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6. How To Find A Good Man ~ Trying Finding A Man At Networking Events Are Great For Finding a Good Man

All networking events are not created equal.  If you are going to a networking event for people who are addicted to heroin then of course that is not the ideal place to meet a good man.  But a professional network event for aspiring lawyers because you are an aspiring lawyer, a networking event for mental health professionals, networking event for people who want to get involved in politics, or a networking event for young professionals is more of the type of events you are going for in which you can bump into more quality like minded men.

With these professional networking events, the men tend to be about something (mentally that is) and they are more likely to have goals and be able to hold stimulating conversation (also check out my blog on how to sound smart). These are some of the attributes you should look for in a good man. Once again revert back to the happy hour look, if you are lost on what to wear.

You want to wear something professional because you are going to a professional event.  As please also be knowledgeable in the event you are going to, it is not a good thing for you to show up to a networking event and a man actually want to network with you and you do not know what you are talking about and you have nothing sustainable to say.

Never think that because you are pretty and you even clean up like you are smart that it makes it so.  Like something need to be going on in that space in between your two ears also known as where your brain lies.  For every good man you want to find he wants a good woman too.

7. How To Find A Good Man ~ Finding A Good Man At Work

Finding a good man at work can mean a lot of things.  It can be in your office.  I do not think that there is anything wrong with dating someone in the office as long as you keep is professional and keep it classy (which you can learn about doing here).  The last thing you want to do is bring your relationship drama in the workplace.  As a disclaimer there is always the chance that if it does not work out there it can be super awkward.  Now depending on where you work can depends if you can find a quality man.

I have worked at places where men just ran through women like a freight train.  That is not what you want.  When finding people at work you want a professional man that knows how to be professional and not go run around the office flirting and sleeping with a bunch of women. And since you work there, you are able to observe his patterns first hand.  Also when it comes to work, know that the person may not be in your office.

I worked in a building in which several companies work there.  You may run into a good man while you are going to your office and he is going to his.  Once again working in a professional environment in an area will increase your chances on running to a good man.

Remember when I talked about the whole going to the gym where I worked. Look at that entire area.  Walking around in that area, even being in a building where there are like 20 other businesses and then eating on the roof top (which is an indication of a nice areas it has a roof top) can help you meet other people. Meeting a good man at work does not have to mean your exact office it could mean you are working in a nice area and while you are at work you can  meet someone due to your own work in whatever capacity that may be. But putting yourself in position is the key to that.

8. When Its Hard To Find A Good Man Remember ~ Grab Some Lunch

Go and eat lunch out sometimes.  The key is to do this during lunch hour in an area that is a busy workplace area.  Most people are out getting lunch. This could be on the weekends in a heavy populated area that a nice mall area where you know people go shopping a lot. OR once again it can be during lunch hour at your job and if you work in a nice area then this is a double win here. The key to finding a good man is to be seen in the areas in where they are. So the more that you can do that the better chances that you have.  You can also check out my video down below for more tips on how to find a good man when it is hard to find a good man.

9. How To Find A Good Man ~ Go To Places Where Good Men Hang Out

Now this can differ depending on the area in which you live.  There are some places where men like to hang out in art galleries and there are other places who barely have any art galleries.  Therefore you need to get familiar with your area and find out the great sides of town that productive people like to hang out in.  I can give you a few suggestions:

  • Art Galleries
  • Museums
  • Book Stores
  • Coffee Shops
  • Golfing Spots
  • Country Clubs
  • Wineries

When you think of good men, good men should be out and about trying to better themselves and their lives.  They know about things and then tend to try to absorb culture.  So when you think about where good men hang out then think along those lines. Good men like to be about things and when I mean about things I mean about culture and about things of substance.

People who are superficial and like to sit around and watch life go by thinking it is not about doing, being, or achieving anything much are the same men that are NOT at the above places.  Men who seek a high calling are about these things.  Once again in the book Played or Be Played (click here to buy) 

The best way to judge a man is to see what he is doing in life to achieve social power, if he is even trying to achieve power at all. Is he disciplined? Is he educating himself? Is he doing anything constructive? Is he proactive? What is he passionate about? 

When you are able to meet a man that is actively engaged in meaningful activities and is educating himself and being proactive, and engaging in activities that actually teach himself something. That is how you know you have found a good man.

10. When Its Hard To Find A Good Man Remember To Go On Vacation

Now this can be a tricky one because you do not want to go to some party city during spring break where everyone is drunk and expecting to hook up and you think that you are going to find a good man.  That is probably not going to happen.  It may also be hard because you do not live in the same place.

But it is not unheard of. Therefore, try a staycation. Meaning nice area that is near where you live so that if you do meet someone you know that they are still near where you are that way if you still want to date you can still see each other if it is within a reasonable distance.

A vacation is a good place to meet good quality men. But probably not at the Motel 6 or places where they have to pay for the room by the minute due to prostitution.  Think of good quality places that people like to vacations.  Such as the Hampton, New York City, Vegas, Florida, or California. Once again depending on where you stay and where you go, think nicer spots, operas, Broadway plays, upscale restaurants, you know activities where good men will want to go.

Finding a good man depends on you and how you come across.  So if you want to find a good man then you also need to be a good woman.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news but alot of women of having issues attracting men because they are not the type of woman that a good man wants to attract. BUT FEAR NOT. If that is the case then I have some healing for your soul and it is my book for single women and it is even on audible.  You can click here to buy or if you want to read the first few chapter for free then click here or the picture below.

Christian single women

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