9 Reasons Why If A Man Does Not Work Then Let Him Go

If A Man Does Not Work He Does Not Eat, Why You Shouldn't Take Care of A Man

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I am of the belief that if a man does not work he does not eat. And by man, I men those men who want to sit around and be with women yet they do not want to do anything to contribute to the household. I am talking about men who use women for money and men who live off women.  

If you are a reader of my blog then you should know that I am a no-nonsense kind of girl. I am not of the belief that a woman should be working like a slave while a man sits at home eating up all her food, sucking up all her air and heat, while he does nothing. And if he is not work, then he should not be eating.

Not only do I mean not eating up the food in your house, but he should not be getting your time, your sex, your energy or anything.  These are things that come with being a man, and since he wants to be like a child and sit in the house and wanting his woman to raise him then he does not need sex, he needs go back home and live with his mother only to reemerge once he has grown up. 

These are the type of men I like to call a man child, check out my video below to find out what that is and subscribe to my channel by clicking here for more videos. 

I have written about this in my where is my Boaz blog which you can click here to read. But more than anything I want women to see that nowhere did Boaz expect for Ruth to do everything for him while he did nothing.  I know we are living in the feminist era where women want to step out of their traditional roles and more into the manly role. 

I get that. I am not saying that a woman needs to be a step ford wife to a man (see my blog here). But I do believe in some concepts that should always remain the same. And that is if a man does not work he does not eat, a woman should not be sitting around taking care of a man, while he claims that he cannot find a job, keeps getting fired from a job, or just quits his job when he does not want to work knowing that his woman will take care of him.

To understand what I am saying we must first dissect the context of the if a man does not work he does not eat phrase.

The phrase if a man does not work he does not eat is derived from. 2 Thessalonians 3:10

2. If A Man Does Not Work He Does Not Eat ~ Case in Point: 

This is going to be a really random history lesson that is going to have a point to it. When I went on a field trip with my son I heard an interesting story about John Smith, the John Smith famously known in the Pocahontas movie.  He was essential to the new American settlers not dying of starvation because he adopted the if a man does not work he does not eat mentality. Like literally that is what he said to people, if you don’t work you do not eat. 

You may be wondering why I am bringing this up and that is because if you were a settlers, the society cannot thrive as everyone sat around and did nothing. It can be the men who use women for money or the men who live off women, then the society cannot survive. In that situation there would have not been enough food for everyone, if everyone was too busy eating and no one was busy actually getting work done, doing what is required to get food. 

Its like the same in your relationship.  A man cannot take, and take, and take, and then expect food (real food, you, sex, emotional fulfillment from you etc.) and expect the relationship to still be healthy. Because the relationship would be unbalanced, him getting everything and you getting nothing. 

3. If man does not work then he is not a man

If a man does not work then he is either one of those men who use women for money or men who live off women.  Because any REAL man is not going to want to sit around and do nothing while the woman takes full responsibility of providing for him. That is called a child. Getting his life together should be his priority not laying up in your house.

I want to take an excerpt from the book Played or Be Played (which you can click my affiliate link here to buy).  And he says the following about men:

And a man’s social need is to have power through leadership. I mean power as far as a man being his own man. I mean power as in being a  leader, and not having to conform to anyone. I mean having the power to be the king of his castle. The master of his domain. I mean the power to lead his family in  the right direction, and the power to achieve financial freedom. If a man doesn’t utilize his energy to achieve social power, he will settle for just  achieving an orgasm. An orgasm gives a man a false sense of power. 

Now with that being said, when a man does not work he is not a man at all. Instead he is more like a teenager just looking to get the benefits of the man of the house or a husband (sex, woman cooking for him, attention from his woman, etc.) all the while he is not doing anything as a man.   If you want to see a case stody on what I am talking about you can watch my video down below. 

4. Men Who Use Women For Money & Men Who Live Off Women ~ Case in point my ex and I

When I used to live with an ex, he lost his job and was in no rush to get a new one. His days consisted of going out with his friends when I was at work. Sometimes driving my car to drop me off and then driving it all day while I was at work and then not having any money to put gas in the car.

At the time I worked 12-16 hours a day and then when I came home he had the nerve to ask me what was for dinner, to clean up, to have sex (before I was celibate). And then he had the nerve to get mad when I was to tired or legit told him he was home all day, not making any money, and he could at least do something while he was at home. 

This was a huge conflict in our relationships because he wanted the benefits of a man but he was not a man.  It got to the point where I did not want to sleep with him at all and I lost attraction to him. Because I was like his mother at this point and I was not attracted to my son.  And therefore, he don’t eat. 

Eating means feasting, so why should he have a feast when his actions prove that he should be in famine.  No able bodied man should be satisfied with his women doing everything and him doing nothing and sad to say that this mentality that has happened entirely too much.  So if you have a man like this, then you do not have a man.

Because more than anything a real man that wants to step up and be a man will do anything that he needs to do to ensure that he eats. To ensure that he gives off the persona of being a real man. And sitting up being lazy and depending on his woman does not signify a man that you want a long term relationship with. And it goes against the grain of what a real man is. 

5.  If A Man Does Not Work He Does Not Eat BUT what about the stay at home dad

Because I can predict the augmentative nature of the internet, I do want to address the stay at home dad. I get that there are plenty of stay at home dads. It is not my thing, but if it is your thing then okay. But before he uses the term stay at home dad, make sure the term is not being used for a man who stays at home and does nothing. 

What do people expect when women are a stay at home mom.  They expect for the woman to cook, clean, and help the kids out. So if they are a stay at home dad then I suspect his role should be similar.  You cannot be stay at home dad parked on the couch all day and still expect your woman to work and be the homemaker.  Being a homemaker is work so if that is the role he wants to take on then, he actually need to do it. I expect the laundry to be done, the dishes to be washed, the house to be cleaned, dinner to be cooked, and the children to be fed.  That is what I call WORK.

Do not pass your stay at home father for a man that you have to come home and clean up after. If that is the case then your man falls into the If a man does not work he does not eat category. Do not let a man pull the wool over your eyes and say that he is a stay at home dad when really he is staying at home and not doing anything.  Now if you do not have any kids and your partner is a stay at home Dad then I am confused. What is he doing all day? 

6. Men Who Use Women For Money & Men Who Live Off Women ~ Death To The Ride Or Die

What I am sick of hearing is this whole ride or die mentality. Women saying to themselves that their man has no job is not currently looking for a job, and you must ride for him and do everything humanly possible for him so that he knows that you are a ride or die. 

The man don’t work and ride or die female go hand and hand. A man will tell you that if you love him it will not matter that he does not have a job, you will love him, provide for him, and care for him that is what a real woman does.   The man may even try to blame his shortcomings on you.  Because you won’t write his resume, help him find a job, or apply for a job for him. Forget the fact that as woman you did all that on your own but if  a man is blaming you for being a man child then you can almost bet that his man child behavior is not temporary. It is permanent and he lacks the ability to take personal responsibility. 

Let me explain something to you ladies.  If you are trying to be a ride or die, female, then ask yourself if your man is a ride or die for you? If you are busting your behind doing everything in your power to prove to a man that he can trust you, you can be there for him, and that you are understanding of his situation, that you are not going anywhere, and you are going to take care of him then ask yourself is he willing to do the same for you?

The fact of the matter is that men who not willing to work are just looking for women to lay up on and under.  They are looking for a woman to take care of them and they mask the idea of a ride or die chick by telling you that if you love him then the fact that he is doing nothing with his life does not matter.

It does matter.  If he wants to be your ride or die then how about he goes hard for you and do what he has to do to get up off your couch and do something for himself. He sees you are going to work every day, bending over backward, and doing what you need to do to keep your household afloat.  Then why is he not returning the favor?

And when I say return the favor then know I do not mean sex.  Giving you sex on a regular basis does not make up for the fact that he is not doing anything with his life and not doing anything for you but giving you some penis.  No penis is worth a man getting over on you. I don’t care how good it is.  Also check out my video down below on why you should stop trying to prove yourself to a man. 

7. If A Man Does Not Work ~ If You Can Do it He can do it

I cannot say this enough. I am so tired of women making excuses for the man who does not want to do anything but sit around looking to his woman for a hand out (see my blog here on the spirit of entitlement). Just like the woman can get up every day and provide for herself so can he.  So women stop feeling sorry for him because of the job market, because his mom beat him as a child, or a thousand other reasons he comes up with as to why he cannot be a grown behind man and take care of business.  YOU DID IT. I am sure he can figure out how to do it as well. 

Also, check out some of my blogs on finding a job in case he needs a little help:

Need A Better Job? The Ultimate Guide To Getting Out of Underemployment

How to Write A Resume. Tips For Young Professionals

Why You Are Not Getting Promoted At Work And How To Fix It

And I know what you are going to say because I can hear the women out there calling me insensitive.  What if he lost his job? What if he needs help getting back on his feet? What if this or what if that? And to you, I say this. As a person who lost their job before, I was able to get another one. On my own.  If I as a woman can manage to figure out how to come back from a job lost then certainly I expect a man to be able to figure it out too.  My point is to stop making excuses for your man as to why he is doing poorly.  You managed to figure it out, so can he.

8. Men Who Use Women For Money & Men Who Live Off Of Women ~ This Type of Man Is Not Ready For A Future

One things that the Bible says about a man planning for the future is this: 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11

A real man plans.  One of the benefits of marriage is having income, is having the ability to be put on his health insurance or life insurance in case he dies.  Him not doing anything is the same as him being a child and therefore he has not put away childish things.

 How can you expect to get married to a man to does not have a job and won’t get one?  How is he even going to buy you a ring? Or worse you are planning to buy yourself a ring and pay for the wedding too.

And when you have future children and have a boy then what? Your son will take after his father and think it is perfectly acceptable to do nothing all day while mommy takes care of him and daddy. Becoming a husband is a huge responsibility and if a man is not willing to take on becoming financially stable and stable in his career, then he is not ready to be a husband and you should not want to be wife to a man like this.

9. If A Man Does Not Work Remember ~ You can Do Bad All By Yourself You Don’t Need a None Working Man To Add on To That 

If I am going to be working and providing for my household I rather do that for one grown person, not two grown people.  I do not need an unproductive man eating up all my food, sucking up all my utilities, and he is not putting back into them. I can have a lower utility bill and eat my food on my own.

My point is you do not need someone to make your life harder.  You can spend all of your income on yourself instead of trying to spend it between yourself and another grown person.  You can do bad all by yourself. In fact, you don’t have to do bad by yourself you can do well all by yourself and you can do better without a dead weight of a man hanging on to your coat tails thinking it is your responsibility to provide for him.

If you have gotten anything from this post then understand we need to move away from this era where we enable men.  We need to stop thinking that we need to bear the brunt of responsibility and make up for their shortcomings as a man just because we are their woman. It is a two-way street. And if a man does not want to do good for himself, then that should tell you something. If he does not care that much about himself to do better than how is he going to feel about you?

As the saying goes if a man does work he does not do not eat.  Every day he should be on his grind working so that he can earn his keep. If he is a man who does not want to give you anything besides sex, then he is not a man at all.  Sex is not a contribution. Working and helping to provide for your household is a contribution if he is going to be in it.

Taking you out on a date is a contribution if he wants to date you. Even if he is a stay at home dad if that is what he calls himself then he needs to WORK in the household.  And if he is not doing that then he should not be in your house, eating up all your food, calling himself your man, when he is not one.  If you think that a man sitting up in your house not working is giving you emotional support then buy a dog.  Do not sell yourself short. In fact, you need to look for the traits of a good man and don’t get with one until he has all of the traits of a good man. Check out my video below to find out what they are and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel just click here. 

If you know someone who could use this information then feel free to share this post with them.

And for all my single ladies out there I have something for you, it is my book for single woman Fix it Jesus for single women only, that you can click here to buy or if you are undecided and you want the first few chapters free. Click here

Christian single women


1 Comment

  1. Dr. Sophia Reed, I definitely needed to read what you wrote about being unequally yoked and if someone can get get anything out of this email, please share this with them. I had been seeing this guy off and on for several years in fact we grew up together. The relationship is a long distance, so we talk on the phone all the time. I grew up in the church, baptistize, etc. Through out our relationship I have explained to him that I want to be celibeit,and discuss some things due to us no being yoked. He would ignore it, send me nasty pics, explicit texts, etc. Anytime I wanted just talk it related back to sex. Now, I am not going to lie, sex is my weakness and discussed about him visiting. Before I knew anything I was getting caught up. The conversation would always go back to wanting to be celbeit, we need to talk about not being yoked, so it looked like I was not being consistent due to my weakness, which I told him that. The last straw was he says when he thinks of me, he thinks of sex. So one night, he started talking about marriage, I told him, we need to talk about church, he tells me he didn’t have to, all he had to do is read the Bible, he didn’t read it all the time, he set his own rules, and church members are hypocrites, and hung up in my face.

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