To listen to the blog post “Dating Advice For Christians ~ 5 Actionable Tips” over reading it click the play button below.
Are you ready for some straightforward dating advice for Christians? Then I am going to give you some real tips that do not include you going to Bible study or going to see your pastor for the first date. I know we love the Lord but I also understand that you also want to date. And I am sure that every date does not need to be a Holy Ghost revival. BUT with that being said you still have to maintain your Christian values and not let all of your Godly morals go out of the window never to be seen or heard from again.
Dating while Christian is not a bad thing. I know that there is a debate about dating versus courtship (see my blog here) and which one is right. Many Christians think that you should not be dating unless you intend to marry someone. I personally do not think that.
From my own personal experience and the young people I have counseled, I would say that dating has helped me in my relationship development both good and bad. The most important dating advice for Christians that I have is that through dating you can learn what to look for versus what you are not, and often times that only comes with experience. Especially if you are young and do not know if you want to settle down just yet. As long as your keep Christian boundaries in your dating process then there is nothing wrong with dating.
Before I get into my dating advice for Christians you can watch my video below for additional tips and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here.
1. Dating Advice For Christians ~ No sex, no duh!
If you want to date while Christian that means no one-night stands and no having sex period. It is not me that says it but God (see my blog on works of the flesh). Because I do not want to come off as super preachy there is a really good reason why God tells us not to have sex before marriage.
Not having sex allows you to get to know the person. Having sex with someone attaches you to them and therefore you may overlook some of their flaws because you are blinded by sex (also see my blog on the benefits of celibacy).
When you decide to embark upon a Christian dating relationship then you need not to have sex, no matter what your past sexual resume is. Either you are going to choose to represent God and date God’s way or you are going to choose to do it your way. And if you are dating and you are asking God to bring you God’s best then why not do it God’s way.
And must I remind you, that when you date never think that dating means relationship. So many women get this twisted in their head and think that because they are dating a man for months on end that they are in a relationship with him, give up the goods, and then they are shocked when he leaves. Only a relationship equals a relationship meaning that it has been verbalized. So when you are dating, he has not made any sort of commitment to you and is free to leave at any time. Remember that. Also watch my video below on why being celibate is about much more than sex.
2. Dating Advice For Christians ~ Maintain Boundaries
In the end, it is your responsibility to maintain good boundaries when dating. That means not prancing around naked in front of each other, no booty calls, and not getting sloppy drunk so your judgment is compromised.
Putting yourself in those positions is causing you to be more likely to do none Christian behavior. And only you can determine what your boundaries are. Some people have more willpower than other people. But you have to set them up, upfront. Some people need to go on group dates to maintain boundaries or not go over each other’s houses. It is up to the personal boundaries of that person, but you should know what your boundaries are and not cross them.
And besides, if you are a Christian woman you have to think of it like this. You have to represent yourself as such. You cannot be representing yourself as a Christian woman one day and then the next moment you are swinging around a pole, getting halfway drunk on a date, and still expect a Christian man to see you a certain type of way. You have to be what you put out. If you are going to be a Christian woman then be that through and through, don’t drop your boundaries and do something that would bring you out of your character as a Christian woman that would misrepresent who you are. Also, check out my video below on how to be celibate but still express intimacy.
3. Dating Advice For Christians ~ Watch How You Dress
The third dating advice for Christians is that you have to watch how you dress. I believe in being cute and I also believe in being classy. You can read my blog here for more on how to be classy. I do not think that you need to dress like a nun. BUT….
Let me be real with you. This whole I can wear my breast out, my butt out, and have my camel toes out and no man better say anything to or look at me as just sex is misguided thinking.
Of course, they are going to look at you as just sex because you look like a big ball of sex. So a man will look at you as a big ball of sex. It is hard to tell people that you are a Christian, believe in God, and you are serious about your Christian walk when he is looking at your nipples popping out of your dress.
I am not telling you to dress overly conservative. I am telling you to respect yourself and that is reflected in the way that you present yourself. If you would not wear it in front of God, do not wear it in front of the man you are dating. If you are lost on where to start then I have created a year-long Christian capsule wardrobe ebook. Just click here or the picture below AND I actually have examples of date-appropriate outfits that you can wear and YES they are still super stylish.
4. Dating Advice For Christians ~ Be Who You Say You Are
I encourage you to read Proverbs 31. It speaks about a woman being of good character and tells you how a woman should act. What I cannot stand, is people who say that they are Christian but when you get to know them their behavior is anything but Christian.
Like I said above you cannot present yourself as a Christian and then a couple of hours within the date you are a freakin heathen. Also, you cannot pretend to be holier than thou if that is not who you really are as a person. AND do not pretend to be who you think the man wants you to be in order to win him. If a man says on a date that he wants to be a missionary all of his life and he wants a future wife that will travel all over the world with him to third world countries and you know that you have no interest whatsoever in doing that.
Then do not pretend that you do. Let a man fall in love with you for you and not who you pretend to be. Because who you are will come out in the end. You cannot pretend forever. Also, check out my video below on how to spot BS in date so you can know when men may be pretending with you.
5. Dating Advice For Christians ~ Be Equally Yoked
Being equally yoked with the person you intend to marry is important. In fact, the Bible speaks specifically about this.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
I have a blog on being equally yoked, which you can click here to read. It does not just include religion, but what someone brings to the table, their work ethic, and things like that. It would not be good to date a drug dealer or even a man that has no job with no intention of ever getting a job, because the Bible says a man who does not work does not eat (click here to read my blog on that).
When dating you can easily eliminate people just by asking the right questions (see my blog here). Knowing upfront what their relationship with God is, if they have one, observing them to see if they are actually Christian or are just saying that to be with you. BUT all of that is the bare minimum to being equally yoked. You also need to know what they are looking for in a partner, do they see themselves settling down, what they want in a wife, and if you possess the things that they are looking for in a wife and vice versa.
Just saying that you are Christian and they are Christian does not make you both a good fit if you do not want the same things out of a relationship. So do not just think because they are a Christian that you have found the one. The best dating advice for Christians I have to give is to dig a little deeper to ensure that you will fit into each other life purpose overall.
I hope that these 5 dating advice for Christians tips helped you out and don’t forget to watch the videos in this post for more tips. If you put all of these things into play then you will master your dating life and not waste your time on men that are not a good fit. Which should be your goal overall in dating.
If you know someone who could use this information then feel free to share this post with them.
And for all my single ladies out there I have something for you. It is my book for single women which you can click here to buy. If you are undecided then don’t worry you can click here to get a few chapters for free.