The question on so many single moms minds is, how to stop being the lonely single mom with no friends? My answer is simple, go out and meet people and that will cure you of all of that. But as a single mom, I know that it is not so easy to just get up and go and have a social life.
You may not have time, money, you may feel awkward about going out alone, or you may feel guilty about leaving your kid. As a single mom myself I am giving you permission to enjoy life.
There is nothing in the single mom handbook that says it is your calling to just sit around being lonely, not having any friends, not have a man, and you have to just sit in your house staring at your kids all day wondering how your life has come to this. I also encourage you to read my blog on how to upgrade your life as a single mom.
As a single mom, you have the right to have friends and you have the right to go out. As long as you do not do it too much and suffer from single mom syndrome (click my blog here) where you just forget all your responsibilities to become a party girl; which I encourage you NOT do. What I am all about is not getting depressed because your child is your best friend and you have no real adult interaction to keep you company. Which brings me to the topic of this blog post.
How To Stop Being The Lonely Single Mom With No Friends
Where I am going to give you the most some of the easiest and basic tips that you can implement as a single mom to try to get yourself some friends. OR at least some associates. Are you ready? Let’s get into it.
How To Stop Being The Lonely Single Mom With No Friends ~ #1 Go out for happy hour after work.
As a single mom myself I can say that this is the easiest way to have friends. I know many people do not want to mix business with pleasure BUT hear me out on why this is a good idea.
- Going to happy hour after work can be ideal for a single mom because happy hour normally ends around 7 pm or 8 pm and that means that you will be home at a decent hour and still have time to tuck your kids in.
- When it comes to happy hour you have a chance to run into good, productive, people, who are like-minded and where you have the potential of meeting more friends.
- And if you know your co-workers well enough then take them with you. You spend most of your time with them anyway and these are the same people that can turn into friends. I have met some of my most long-lasting friends at work.
If you want to have friends you mine as well go for good ones. Try to focus on nice happy hour spots that are in the business district or a cooperate area. That will increase your chances of running into productive people and men if your desire is to have a relationship.
This may sound crazy but I have met some bad friends as a single mom that ended up causing more harm than good and as a single mom, no matter how lonely you are you don’t want bad friends. Check out my video below and also subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Also check out my blog on the best places to meet good men. Happy hour is one of those places where people come to mingle.
How to Implement Happy Hour To Meet People
When you choose to sit at the bar. Most people sit at that bar when they are alone so it will give you a chance to strike up a conversation. If you go out during the day, especially a weekday make sure you go somewhere that is going to have a lot of people. Going out is not going to work if you are just going to a bunch of empty places where no one is, that is not going to help you meet new people, new friends, or anything.
A good happy hour experience would be one that actually has a lively crowd where most people sit at the bar. That way you can sit at the bar and you are more than likely to strike up a conversation with someone there. A BAD happy hour experience would be arriving and no one is there and you are stuck in a solo happy hour making you feel even more depressed and lonely. Make sure to do your research on the best happy hours to go. YELP or Google reviews can be your friend.
If you go to a happy hour after work what to do with your kids.
As a single mom, the main issue is not going out but making sure that your kids are properly looked after. If your children are a bit older and can be left alone at home, then you can leave them home alone for a few hours. If your children are not old enough to be left at home, then ask one of their school friends if they can go home with them after school or even a neighbor.
If you do not know any of these people then now is a prime time to get out and get to know some other parents or neighbors that your child gets off the bus with. You never know when they can help you out. Such as watching your kid, if you want to take a few hours after work. Also, don’t forget to return the favor if their kid needs to be watched as well. And do not feel guilty about asking, it is only for a couple of hours after work. Remember do not abuse the situation and stay out for a happy hour until midnight or something crazy.
How To Stop Being The Lonely Single Mom With No Friends #2 Try going out during the day.
This worked very well for me when I used to have a job when I had days off during the week or a job in which my hours were more flexible. I just choose to go out during the day and going out during the day helped out a lot when it came to meeting new people, spending time with my friends, and having time to do it since my son was at school or daycare. During a weekday you can hit up lunch spots, shopping centers, bookstores, or just sit at the bar.
If by chance you do not have time during the week, then make sure to try to go out during your lunch hour. Once again something that I did a lot when I had an hour lunch break. A co-worker and I would go out into the downtown area where we worked. It was always crowded, they had food stands, people, music, and restaurants; it was the ideal place to meet other people because other people were on their lunch break as well.
When you go out during the day what do you do with your kids
The reason why going out during the day is ideal because a lot of the times your child is in school or daycare. That way you do not have to pay a baby sitter or do anything extra to make sure that someone is watching them. When it comes to places like the library or even bookstores, you can oftentimes take your child with you. That is if you choose to go out during the day on weekends. In fact, many libraries have free classes or daytime reading events for children. This would be the perfect chance to kill two birds with one stone. You can take your child with you and potentially meet other parents as well for forming friendships as well.
How To Stop Being The Lonely Single Mom With No Friends #3 Why not try Meetup
If all else fails, then you can try sites like Meetup. This is the easiest and sure way to meet other people as long as they have decent Meetups in your areas. If you are not familiar with Meetup, it is where you join a social group that is related to a hobby you have. You would more than likely meet other people that have something in common with you at the scheduled social events.
You can join a mommy meet up, an art meetup, a single mom meetup. Meet up where you can take your kids or you can just go to a meet up at the time that works for you. And a bonus is that Meetup is legit there for you to meet new people so people are open to making friends. And you tend to see the same people over and over at the same Meetup which makes it easier to stay in contact and actually form a friendship.
When you go to a Meetup what do with your kids
Depending on the type of Meetup you join you may have to hire a babysitter to go out to the events. If that is not within your budget, then just join a mommy Meetup or a single mom Meetup, most of those events focus on social gathering where you can bring your child with you. Once again killing two birds with one stone.
How To Stop Being The Lonely Single Mom With No Friends ~ #4 try making friends with your co-workers
If you are going to work every day anyway then your co-workers can be a great place to start getting to know each other and going out with one another. This can be especially true if you do not have a lot of free time. Co-workers can be great for people to implement some of the above tips. I have gone out with my co-workers to lunch and/or to happy hour. I have also made a lasting friendship with my co-workers that last to this day, even though I no longer work there.
I have scheduled a time to go out with my coworkers right after work, during lunchtime, you can meet before work. This can be true for the single moms who do not like going out to places by themselves, just bring a co-worker with you to feel more comfortable. Especially an extroverted one that can aid you in talking to and meeting other people.
If you are not getting my drift with these tips, the whole point is to get yourself out there and get social. That is the only way to meet people for both friendships and relationships. The more you manage to do that, the less lonely you feel and the more you will meet other people.
You do not have to be a vogue supermodel when you go out. But oftentimes as single moms, we have a tendency to let ourselves go appearance-wise. So when you go out to these places take care of yourself and like someone that people want to come to talk to. No one is going to want to be your friend if you look like you just escaped from death row. Check out my blog on what to wear to happy hour for inspiration.
I also have a free ebook of how to create a budget-friendly fashionable capsule wardrobe and give you examples of what to wear out to a happy hour, day time, and things like that. Just click here or the picture below.
What to do if you’re lonely and have no friends You Should Be Approachable
Often times as single moms we can have this look like we are carrying the world on our shoulders. We are upset because of what our kid did or depressed because we are lonely. So when we go out we sit and pout in the corner looking all angry wondering why no one wants to get to know us and give us the time of day.
Can you guess why? Probably because you look like if someone talks to you, you are going to beat them up. Whenever you go somewhere during the day, or during the evening walk around like you are are the baddest women who hit planet Earth. Single mom or no.
Like you are the woman that every other person wants to get to know. Practice this behavior in the grocery store, the gas station, or even when you are going out for a walk. When you start to act like this, see how many men and other people will start to naturally approach you.
What to do if you’re lonely and have no friends be Social
On that note when you want to meet people sometimes you have to take the initiative and talk first. And be a joy to talk to. Be yourself and be funny. The last thing you want to do is start talking about all your problems, how bad your kids are, how much your life sucks, and how your child’s father left you for another woman.
No one wants to hear all of that when you are first meeting them. You are trying to gain friends NOT run them away. And the same is true if you are talking to a man. Lord knows he is not going to consider dating you if you tell him how much things suck about your life when you first meet him. No one has time for that.
Be social, keep the conversation light, and positive. That is to never say that you cannot talk to other people about your problems. You can, once you get to know them really well and trust them. Not within the first 5 minutes of meeting.
Well, that is about it and those are all of my tips for single moms who want to know what to do if you’re lonely and have no friends. Start implementing them on a constant basis and I want to see how things change for you.
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Did you know that I have a book specifically for single moms? To know more about my No Nonsense Single Mom’s Devotional then click here. Also, click the picture below to Join my email list Sophie-stication Nation and get the first few chapters free click here.