To listen to the blog post “How To Make Sure You Are Trusting God In Your Singleness” over reading it then click the play button below.
In this post, I want to teach you about trusting God in singleness. So many Christian women tell themselves and other people that they trust God during their single season.
But in the same breathe they complain about why God has not sent them a man. They complain about how lonely they are, and they complain that they cannot be happy unless they are in a relationship.
These thoughts are the ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE of trusting God in singleness. Really what you are saying when you do these things, is that you trust Him but then you are low key complaining about why you are still single and then trying to emotionally blackmail God by being all depressed about your singleness.
Thinking that if God sees how depressed you are then maybe He will have mercy on your soul and send your man to you today. I am not going to come down on you too hard because this is the same type of behavior that I used to do.
This is why I felt so compelled to do this post because I want to keep it real with the women out there that want to trust God in their single season, but they don’t know how or they are not even sure if they are doing it right. AND most importantly to encourage you to know that your single season can happy. Happiness and singleness is a legit thing.
Also as an additional tidbit watch my video on complaining. If you are not trusting God during your single season and all you do is complain about it then you should know that this may actually be keeping you from your blessing. Also, click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Trusting God in singleness – #1 What Does It Mean
Trust according to the dictionary is defined as: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. (In this case that someone or something is God or SHOULD BE God).
Distrust according to the dictionary is defined as the feeling that someone or something cannot be relied on. (And for some of you the answer is also God, keep reading and I will explain why).
If you are trusting God in singleness that means that you know without a shadow of a doubt that God cares about your relationship status (see my blog here). You know without a shadow of a doubt that God’s timing is perfect and you trust that your singleness will end when it is supposed to.
AND with that trust means that you do not whine, complain, or try to tell God that He does not know what He is doing because your man is not here yet. That is the definition of distrust. Does that make sense?
Now check the above definition again, do you trust or distrust God?
Trusting God in singleness #2 Stop saying you cannot be happy without a man
When women are single it is so easy for them to slip in a state of a mental health crisis all because they do not have a man. And then they wonder why God won’t bring them a man. Can’t God see how being single is messing with your mental health, if so then why doesn’t God do anything about it?
This is the EXACT opposite of what you should be doing. God brings us relationships YES. He brings us relationships to ADD on to our life. He does not bring us a relationship so that the other person can be solely responsible for our happiness or be the source of our happiness. That is what God is for.
Imagine how insulting that is to God if you tell Him that you are lonely and you are never going to be happy until He brings you a man. God is your father and He is your creator, you are never lonely with God (see my blog here). So why spit in God’s face to tell Him that you are not content until you are with someone else.
In God’s eyes if you want something that much then a relationship is an idol to you. Because it is something that you are saying you cannot live without and cannot be happy without. God will never give you something that is going to take the place of Him and His love for you.
Instead, try to chase the purpose instead of chasing the man, I am convinced that when you do the man will actually come. You can watch my video below on this. But if you focus too much on the man then really its like you are making a relationship your idol and saying it is more important than the reason why God put you on this Earth.
You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about His relationship with you. Exodus 34:14
What you need to stop is this whining over a man and thinking that some man is going to take the place of God or that when you get a man you will happy. Because that is not true. Man is not perfect and if you give them the responsibility for making you happy and they fall short, then what?
You are unhappy again because you put all your happiness in a man. God is perfect and He is the one that can make you happy NO MATTER WHAT. He does not fall short and more importantly, God is jealous for you and He is not going to bring a man into your life that will replace Him.
Instead, you have to form your own relationship with God and will be happy with God and then when the man comes it is just icing on the cake. The cake being you and God. And the man being the icing.
Trusting God in singleness #3 How To Become Happy If You Don’t Have a Man
Learn to have a relationship with God and learn how to put God first. I promise you as someone who has gone through the exact same thing that when you put God first then nothing else will matter because you start to trust Him in ALL circumstances in your life.
I know for some of you single women out there you do not think that it is NOT possible to be okay with not being in a relationship. NOT only is it possible but dare I say you can be happy doing it and you SHOULD be happy doing it.
I have been single and celibate for a long time now (click here to read why) and I am happy. I do not feel unloved, I do not feel depressed, I do not feel like I NEED sex, I do not feel anything but happy.
AND I feel happier now than I was when I was in a relationship. I can hear you gasping now. How can that be? You are happier now than when you were in a relationship, WHAT? But see that is your worldly view of thinking.
It is the flesh that will have you thinking that you always need a man, that you need to have sex to feel loved, or that you are incomplete because you are single (read my blog on works of the flesh). But when you get to a place where you really trust God, you see yourself as his daughter (click here to see my blog) all the worldly stuff will not matter.
You will not see things through the eyes of a single woman that has no man. You will see things through the eyes of God. God can make you feel complete by simply knowing and trusting that God has a plan for you that includes bringing you a man and you do not need to worry or feel any type of way about it.
Think of it this way. Do you get all bent out of shape about the sun coming out tomorrow? If you are normal, then you probably don’t. And the reason why you don’t is that we know the sun will come out, it has always come out, and we trust that there will be another day.
We do not need to worry about the sun rising because we trust that when the night is over then the sun will rise. We do not get depressed or anxious thinking about the sun not rising.
It is the same with your relationship status. Know that the sun (or your man) will come. You do not need to sit up all night, watching the moon and stars to make sure the sun rises.
You just know it will rise. So go to sleep, relax and go to bed; trust that the sun (AKA your man) will rise and you do not need to monitor the situation. It will happen when God says it will happen and trusting God in singleness is a lot like that.
Instead, be active and single meaning that you are going about your life. If you want to know more about that then watch my video below.
Trusting God in singleness #4 Stop coming down on yourself
Stop telling yourself how much you suck, how lonely you are, how you will never meet someone, and stop telling yourself how everything is going to crap and you are going to die an old maid. If you feel that badly about yourself why would a man want to take on all of your crappiness? And more than anything remember
Whatever a man thinks in his heart so is he. Proverbs 23:7
If all you think you are is a big ball of negativity and depression then this is exactly what you are and what will become. This is also exactly how you will live out your life. I encourage you to read my blog on prayer and faith and how it goes hand and hand.
If you are trusting God for something, in this case, it could be a relationship, why would you open your mouth and start to kill the answer to your prayer which a bunch of negative speech and thinking. You are literally NOT giving God permission to answer your prayer by talking crazy.
If you are feeling hopeless and single then watch my video below so you do not let these emotions overtake you.
Trusting God in singleness #5 Instead Speak Life Into Your Situation
Take Mark 6:5-6 when Jesus tried to heal a lot of sick people and he COULD NOT do it.
The reason why He could not do it is that people lack faith and did not believe that Jesus could do what He said He could do and therefore their negative energy prevented Jesus from performing miracles. Do not ask God for a relationship and in the back of your mind think that it is not possible.
As I mentioned in the tip above, speaking about how things are NOT going to happen for you and how you are going to be single forever is the same thing as lacking faith and you are keeping God from answering your prayers. Instead what you need to do is to start praising God for what He is doing, speaking your relationship into existence, and knowing that God is on His way to answer your prayers.
It is the same with your word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. Isaiah 55:11
Know that when you send out POSITIVE prayers and words about the type of man that God is bringing you then your words can accomplish what you want them to accomplish. There is power in your words and in your tongue (click here to read my blog on that).
In the same way, if you are always speaking crazy about your singleness not only does that mean you are NOT trusting God but it also means that you are speaking nothingness into existence.
Speaking about the positive relationship that God is bringing you even though you do not see it yet means that you are trusting God and mean that you are giving Him permission to act on your behalf in regards to bringing a man. If you do not know where to start, I encourage you to read my blog on praying for your future husband so you can learn how to do it.
I want you to watch my video when God played matchmaker in the Bible. The point is that God does care about your relationship status. So you need to believe that he is acting on your behalf instead of speaking negatively.
Trusting God in singleness #6 Closing Thoughts
I like to keep it real and I like to tell other women out there the right way to go about things. Being single is not the end of the world and if you are a Christian woman you should not be walking around in mourning because you are not married yet. That is not of God and that is not the type of Christian woman that you want to portray to the rest of the world. That God is the giver of eternal singleness and the God that does not answer prayers.
Instead, trust that God is doing His part and you do your part.
That means working on yourself, being the type of godly woman that attracts a godly man (click my blog here), and working on your relationship with God. God does bless us in relationships but never did He simply create you to walk the Earth to ONLY be someone’s wife. Yes, marriage can come, but God has a lot of plans for you outside of your relationship status.
Which is why I have another video you may want to watch if you are single and waiting to help you out.
So not only do you need to trust God in your singleness but get started on the other things that He wants you to do. It is like the metaphor that I gave above. The sun will rise, your man will come. It is going to happen if it is a desire of your heart (Psalm 37:4). But you sitting there waiting and doing nothing is not going to make anything happen any faster. Enjoy your life now and start trusting God in singleness.
If you know someone that needs to read this post then be sure to share it with them.
I have a wonderful book for single women that I know you are going to love, click here to buy it or if you are undecided then click here and I will give you the first few chapters for free just click here.