Is your boyfriend pulling away? If so, then I want you to consider something. There are times when men pull away because there is something wrong with them and there are times when men pull away because there is something wrong with you. Yes, YOU WOMEN. Sorry to say that we as women are not perfect and there are things that we do that just gets under a man’s skin, drives men away, and make them not want to be in a relationship with us anymore.
But you are in luck, I am going to tell you exactly what some of those behaviors are by using key women in the Bible that used their psychotic behavior (that so many women are guilty of) to drive men away. Also, don’t forget to check out my blog to learn how to keep a man, lessons from women in the Bible as well.
I know what you may be thinking to yourself “how can some Biblical women from 1000’s of years ago have anything in common with me?” And to you, my answer is that. The Bible is not outdated and there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Which means that difficult women existed then just like they exist now, lying women existed then just like they exist now, and cheating women existed then just like they exist now. But I am not here to judge but to educate you on what drives men away, to keep you from repeating any of these mistakes, and to keep your boyfriend from losing interest in you.
Are you ready? Let’s get into it.
Is Your Boyfriend pulling away because you are disrespectful? – Case In Point Vashti
If you are not familiar with who Vashti is she was the queen before Queen Esther. Vashti has a short part in the Bible and pretty much all her part consisted of her disobeying the king and then the king divorcing her to find a new queen (in which case Esther came into play). I have a blog about Esther which you can read here.
This is not about Esther but it is about Vashti and the actions that she took that made her lose her man. The first thing was that the king aka Vashti’s husband had just had a great victory and was having a huge celebration. You can read the following Bible verses so that you understand the magnitude of this celebration and why what Vashti did was such a huge deal.
For a full 180 days, the king displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty. When these days were over, the king gave a banquet, lasting seven days, in the enclosed garden of the king’s palace, for all the people from the least to the greatest who were in the citadel of Susa. Wine was served in goblets of gold, each one different from the other, and the royal wine was abundant, in keeping with the king’s liberality. By the king’s command each guest was allowed to drink with no restrictions, for the king instructed all the wine stewards to serve each man what he wished. Queen Vashti also gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes. Esther 1: 1-9
The reason why I brought this up is that I needed you to understand the magnitude of this festival and what a big deal it was so that you can understand the magnitude of what Vashti did. At this point in the story, pretty much everyone in the kingdom is all happy, having a good time, getting drunk, and even queen Vashti is having a party of her own. Vashti’s husband was on cloud 9, throwing a party for everyone, and he even threw a party for his queen. AND THEN….
“On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger. Esther 1:10-11
After Vashti refused to come down, the king removed Vashti from being queen and went after another.
Then Memukan gave a reply to the king and the nobles. He said, “Queen Vashti has done what is wrong. But she didn’t do it only against you, King Xerxes. She did it also against all the nobles. And she did it against the people in all the territories you rule over. All the women will hear about what the queen has done. Then they won’t respect their husbands. They’ll say, ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought to him. But she wouldn’t come.” Esther 1:16-17
Let the royal order say that Vashti can never see you again. Also let her position as queen be given to someone who is better than she is. And let your order be announced all through your entire kingdom. Then all women will have respect for their husbands, from the least important to the most important. Esther 1:19-20
The mistakes that Vashti made that would make your boyfriend start to lose interest in the relationship
Vashti’s mistake was that she was being disrespectful and that she made a mountain out of a molehill. Imagine if your man just got a wonderful promotion and all he wanted to do was to celebrate with you. He asks you to come out with him and his friends to celebrate the big promotion and you just pretty much laughed in his face in front of your friends, told him no, and went out clubbing instead. Well, that is pretty much what Vashti did times 10. Because this festival was bigger than a promotion. She disregarded her husband just to hang out with her friends (at the party that her husband had thrown for her no less) while simply disregarding her husband’s accomplishments. Very selfish.
Maybe Vashti did not want to come because she felt that her husband was just trying to order her around and this was a passive aggressive way to get back at him. I don’t know. Even if that was the case, she should not have embarrassed her husband in front of all of the ENTIRE KINGDOM. If she was bothered by something her man did all she had to do was do what he asked and then spoke to him about it later IN PRIVATE. Not air their dirty laundry in front of everyone by not doing one very simple thing that her husband asked her to do.
When you get married you are going to be with someone who is not always going to agree with you. In fact, he is not going to agree with you a whole lot. If you sit around, arguing, and acting silly over something that is really not that serious, your relationship is not going to survive. (If you want to get the first chapter of my book for free then click here or the picture below to do so).
Is Your Boyfriend pulling away because you are a cheater? ~ Case in point Bathsheba
The next woman that I want to talk about is Bathsheba. Bathsheba did eventually become one of David’s wives. BUT that was only after she entered into an adulterous affair with David and because of it, she got her husband killed!
Let’s start the story off on how David saw Bathsheba:
One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof, he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba.” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. 2 Samuel 11:2-4
After David slept with Bathsheba she became pregnant. She knew the child was not her husband’s child because her husband was off at war. And so David sent for Bathsheba’s husband so that he could have sex with her and so that he can pass the baby off as her husband’s. When that did not work because the husband did not end up sleeping with his wife, Bathsheba when he came home to visit, David had her husband sent to the front lines of the war where he knew for a fact that he would be killed. (Read 2 Samuel 11)
The mistakes that Bathsheba made that pushed her husband away.
What you can learn from Bathsheba is to stop being so messy. Bathsheba cheated, then she tried to cover up her cheating by lying about it, then she tried to trick her husband into thinking she was pregnant by him when she was really pregnant by David, and when none of her messiness worked it David had her husband killed to cover up the affair. If you are a woman known for cheating, lying, and just being messy in your relationship then no wonder you’re pushing men away. No one wants to be with and/or marry a woman like that.
Is Your Boyfriend pulling away because you are a backstabber ~ Case in point Delilah
Most people know the story of Samson and Delilah. For whatever reason Samson fell in love with Delilah and the enemies of Samson ask Delilah to find out the secret to Samson’s strength is. They offered to pay her money in order to do this.
“See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver.” Judges 16: 5
On three different occasions, Delilah asked Samson what was the source of his strength. And on all three occasions, Samson lied to Delilah. And on all three occasions, Delilah tried to act out what Samson’s weakness was.
So Delilah said to Samson, “Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.” Samson answered her, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” Then the rulers of the Philistines brought her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she tied him with them. With men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the bowstrings as easily as a piece of string snaps when it comes close to a flame. So the secret of his strength was not discovered. Judges 16: 6-9
Then Delilah said to Samson, “You have made a fool of me; you lied to me. Come now, tell me how you can be tied.” He said, “If anyone ties me securely with new ropes that have never been used, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” So Delilah took new ropes and tied him with them. Then, with men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the ropes off his arms as if they were threads. Judges 16: 10-12
Delilah then said to Samson, “All this time you have been making a fool of me and lying to me. Tell me how you can be tied.” He replied, “If you weave the seven braids of my head into the fabric on the loom and tighten it with the pin, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” So while he was sleeping, Delilah took the seven braids of his head, wove them into the fabric and tightened it with the pin. Again she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” He awoke from his sleep and pulled up the pin and the loom, with the fabric. Judges 16:13-15
So after three failed attempts Samson finally told Delilah the truth about his strength. Why I DON’T KNOW. Didn’t he see that she tried to trick him all three times? Either way, Samson told Delilah that the key to his strength was his hair and if she cut it off he would be as weak as any man.
So he told her everything. “No razor has ever been used on my head,” he said, “because I have been a Nazirite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man.” Judges 16:7
This last betrayal leads to the imprisonment and death and Samson.
The mistakes that Bathsheba made that pushes men away.
I think it goes without saying that Bathsheba was a backstabber and was a woman that could not be trusted. I would hope that you women out there would not go through the lengths that Delilah went through to backstab her man, but some women display some very similar characteristics.
If a man cannot trust you, you are always lying, or it always feels like you are against him instead of being for him then that is a quick way to lose your man. A relationship is supposed to be a mutual exchange of love and respect not being with someone who is always lying to you, argumentative, who is always against you or stabbing you in the back.
Do you talk about your man behind his back? Do you flirt with other men or even his friends when he is not there? Is everything that comes out of your mouth and a lie and your man has trouble trusting you? If that is the case, then you are doing some of the same behaviors as Delilah and therefore pushing men away.
These are 3 women of the Bible that are known for doing this crazy behavior that will push men away from the relationship. Learn from them and do not repeat their mistakes. Also, if you know a woman that acts like this and can benefit from reading this information then share this post with her.
Remember, I have something FREE for you. If you liked this post then I know you are going to love my book for Christian single women (which you can click here to read more about). Also, just to remind you I am giving you the first chapter of this book for free. All you have to do is click here or the picture below and it is yours.