To listen to the blog post “12 Tips For Tinder That’ll Help You Meet A Good Man” over reading then click the play button below.
I did one week on Tinder and I HAD to share my experiences with you. Since Tinder is so in right now I had to be the experimental guinea pig for my all my smart, classy, and high valued women out there so that you can determine if this app is even worth your time. Now before we get into the results of my tips for tinder and my Tinder explorations I want to get some things out of the way so that you can understand the quality of my matches. Also check out my video below on the top online dating apps to meet good men below and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
- I was on Tinder for a week and got 73 matches.
- Not all matches contacted me.
- I DID NOT swipe right on everyone just the ones that I would really go out with.
They had to meet the following criteria.
- Have a decent job and/or education.
- Look like they had their stuff together.
- Not homely looking. They needed to look like they took care of themselves.
- Were within 10 years of my age.
- I had to be attracted to something about them (looks, quality of their pictures, and profile.) Nine times out of ten it was all three.
With that being said I think that if my standards were lower then I probably would have had way more matches. I was being REALLY particular on the people that I chose. I needed to say that because the stories I am about to tell you are GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND. Even though the men I chose were productive and seem relatively normal on the outside. SO!
Without further delay let’s get the tips for Tinder, shall we?
For the first set of tips for tinder I will get into the men. Let’s get into what you really want to hear and it is the men. I am going to go into the most entertaining men that met and/or talked to within my one week on Tinder.
1. Tips for tinder ~ The Business Owner/ Possible Ex-Con
I am telling you about the business owner first because I actually went out on a date with this guy. He was actually 29 although for some reason Tinder told me he was 30. I am 35 by the way. Anyway, the date went well, he was super nice, paid for the meal, had an ACTUAL conversation, opened doors, you know the stuff you expect a man to do on a date.
He even texts me once I got home to ensure that I made it home safe so he gave off the normal man vibe. Fast forward about a day or two of texting (which is VERY popular for Tinder just texting) the art of a conversation does not happen. He screenshot me something with his business and it had his full name on it.
Like the safe person that wanted to avoid serial killers I am, I googled his name and there came up a MUGSHOT. For a very serious crime. And it happened just last year. Normal people would have blocked him but I am not normal, I wanted to know if it was true and so I asked him in which he stated that the charges were dropped, not true, he is not a felon and it was a funny story that he would have to tell me.
Perhaps I am just too accepting so I continued our texting situation only to find out a few days later he was into massages because he wanted me to give him one. After I declined he said that he would just go to the Asian one around his house and get one with a happy ending if you know what I mean. Because I was intrigued I needed to ask more questions. I found out that he does these happy ending massages quite often, AND he has even had a man do it for him on a few occasions.
I will admit that I entertained this conversation longer than it needed to but it was so interesting to me. I had no idea this was a thing. And because he wanted to be nice, he offered to pay for me to go to get fondled with him at the massage place. That was a big no thank you and I mentioned to him that I was celibate at which point I thought that he would be turned off. He was not turned off, he was turned on, so much so that he invited me to come on over to get banged out in his office, which once again I declined.
The moral of this story, I am not even sure that there is one. BUT needless to say that he had a pretty cool personality. Aside from his possibly criminal record and obsession with sexual massages with random people, who knows who could have happened if he just would have been normal. And for all of those celibate women out there, it also goes to show that even when you tell a man that you are celibate it does not really turn them off. They just want to work harder. Which I talk about in my video below.
2. Tips For Tinder ~ The Kind Of Sort Of Stalker
I call him the kind of sort of stalker because he did not fully stalk but I do feel like he had the potential. I actually did not give him a chance there were too many signs. To tell you about this guy he was 26. I actually had my Tinder settings on 10 years younger and 10 years older, but I eventually came to change it because I did not want to see a bunch of 25 years old. I am not sure that I was paying attention to this guy’s age before swiping right but needless to say, here we were a match and ready to talk.
This one was ex-military Special Forces type guy and now worked in the federal government. And I had to give him an A for effort because he did NOT want to carry on just a texting conversation and wanted to actually meet up. I first gave him my number and right away he wanted to video message me in which I told him I could not at the time because I was doing my makeup. I also told him that my preferred way of video messaging was through Facebook. I do not have an iPhone so no FaceTime for me. Don’t judge me for not having an IPhone.
Right after I told him that he attempted to video chat me through Facebook messenger which was a fail because he was not my Facebook friend. Then he found me on Facebook and requested to be my Facebook friend and because I did not accept him right away he found me on Skype and video chatted me there. All in a matter of minutes. Mind you I am in my own world doing my makeup and did not realize all of what was going on until I picked up my phone to see that someone was messaging me through Skype.
Deciding to give 100% to this process I answered even though I was a little irritated that I told him to wait to video message me and that I would let him know when was a good time mainly because my son was with me. But he ignored that advice and we ended up having a casual video conversation and he wanted to just verify that I was who I was. Which I could understand and I was light-hearted about it. I must note that during the first 10 minutes of the conversation he tried to invite himself over to my house or me to his house which was not going to work because as I always say I do not know you. And from there I had to go drop my son off to a birthday party but I did advise I would video chat him back once I was done and I did.
When I video chatted him back I was at a restaurant to have a solo meal. We talked for a few moments, and then he began to question me about if I liked oral sex. I quickly avoided that question because once again I don’t know you. And plus if you are a reader of my blog I am celibate first of all and secondly, sexual attraction does not need to be talked about. Once you get to know each other and chemistry is formed then that is something that happens naturally. It does not require a conversation within the first few minutes of talking to someone.
The next day was followed by more video chat attempts, one through Skype and the other two through Facebook. But I was busy doing my hair so I did not answer (Follow me on IG for hair tutorials by the way just click here). Anyway, I was turned off by the oral sex question that he asked while I was sitting in a restaurant, what was he wanting me to do talk dirty and have phone sex right there? I mean really? That coupled with the finding me on Facebook and Skype within a matter of seconds was a bit too much. PLUS the video chatting me after I specifically told me not to AND then continuing to try to video chat me the next day, several times. I mean don’t you usually asked people for permission before doing that. Needless to say. I was a little turned off.
3. Tips For Tinder ~ The Standup Men
I got two unofficial standups and they pretty much went the same way. One guy, messaged me on Tinder asking to meet up. I told him sure. I figured he was not much for conversation and just wanted to meet in person first, which I agreed to on a Sat for the following Friday. I never heard from him again. He did not try to talk to me during the week nor did he follow up with me on the day of. And so that was pretty much that. The second guy asked me out on a date on a Friday for Sunday.
He did engage with me on the weekend and then on Sunday nothing. That was the last I heard of him. Thank goodness I didn’t really get ready or actually go out to meet them somewhere I would have been mad for wasting my gas. But how pointless was that? What was the point of asking people on a date if you don’t intend to go? Or even to at least contact them back and cancel and reschedule. Because now even if they did contact me I would just ignore them as I thought their date and ditching actions were pretty rude.
4. Tips For Tinder ~ The Serial Text/ Messengers
Most men are probably are not going to ask you out on a date or perhaps they do not know how. Instead, my text messages and my Tinder inbox was filled with the same rotation of men saying the same thing. And it goes something like this.
Them: Good morning (on many occasions they would add a sweetie, beautiful, and/or sexy on to this phrase).
Me: Good Morning
Around the Afternoon
Them: How is your day going?
Me: Just wonderful how about you?
Them: Mine was good, how’s your evening?
Me: Just great. As I was getting ready to go to sleep.
This happened for DAYS at a time. One guy I straight up told him that I am not a text person. And he said okay, only to text me again the next day, asked me if I had time to talk to him for a few when I agreed all he said was cool and then he never called. I was so confused.
Tinder was like a full-time job in itself. Literally, every morning when I got to work I would go through my strains of good mornings, how you are, how is your day, and what are you looking for? Often times they would just ask me the same question twice forgetting that they had already asked me and probably could not keep me straight with their other women. Which was fine with me because honestly so many were texting and messaging me that I really did not know their names. That is how much NONE of them stood out and how all their conversations sounded the same. Like a Tinder script, they all revert back to.
There were a few that would just shoot the sexual innuendos right off the back, asking for a kiss, or trying to blow my head up saying I looked like a model (I am 5’2 by the way and nowhere NEAR model size) that rotated with the sexy, beautiful, your lips look kissable reference it was all pretty much the same. Also check out my video down below for more tips on tinder that you can use to set up your tinder profile.
For the next set of tips for tinder I would like to talk about the pros because it was not all bad.
5. Tips For Tinder Pro ~ There were good quality men.
I will start with some of the good even though it may seem like there is not any. All of the guys I spoke to were actually decent quality guys. Many of them were lawyers, engineers, and working for the government (as I am in the DC area), etc. And even though many of them were inappropriate communication wise, the fact of the matter is that Tinder is an online dating app and most of them are NOT going say the same thing to your face that they will through Tinder. Tinder gives people the courage to be inappropriate.
6. Tips For Tinder ~ Pro: There were men of all ages.
I am 35 years old and there were men older than me, there were men that were my age, and many men that were younger. So don’t feel like you are too old to get on Tinder and no one will be on there. That is probably not true.
7. Tips For Tinder ~ Pro Self Esteem Booster
Although it is not my thing, some of you may get off on men texting you and messaging you every day asking you how your day was. At first for me, it was flattering but then it got irritating, but I also understand that many women may appreciate getting messages like these on a daily basis. So if you want a daily boost of self-esteem this could be it. Men calling you beautiful and a model could put you in a good mood for the day.
8. Tips For Tinder: Pro Practice Flirting/ Dating
I believe in dating not sleeping with (click here to see my blog on that) more than one man. I think that it is important to get to know what you like and understand how you come across to other people which you can learn through dating. So if you get a chance to go on a date you can put your skills into practice and it is the same with flirting. I have been out of the dating field for a minute and I must admit that it did feel good to flirt and to know that I could still keep a man’s interest on a date. Both of which are important skills for long term relationships and when trying to date seriously outside of Tinder. Also check out my video below for a review on other dating apps.
For the next set of tips for tinder I want to list of the cons of using tinder.
9. Tips For Tinder Con ~ Hookup Culture
I was not super disappointed by the sexual innuendos and the attempting to hookup because from Tinder’s reputation that is what I expected. For me personally, I knew how to circumvent them so that it was not awkward (at least not for me) and to not even get offended. I think it is important to let people know how to and how not to talk to you. You set the boundaries. But in a classy way, no need to get loud, curse people out, or to get offended.
10. Tips For Tinder Con: No one Can Hold An Actual Conversation
This for me was disappointing, especially since like I said I am not a texter but a talker. So this whole texting back and forth was annoying, to say the least. This is not a real way to actually get to know anyone at all through text message. Text messages are normally very short because no one is texting complete answers or going to talk about important issues via text. That is meant for an actual phone conversation or in-person conversation.
The people on Tinder don’t care, they will legit try to build a connection through text message even though that is just NOT going to happen by any stretch of the imagination. And they somehow how think the minimal conversation is the pathway to getting in your pants, see con #1. No real questions, no real conversation of substance, just a bunch of two to five-word responses and three-word questions.
11. Tips For Tinder ~ I did one week on tinder ~ My Overall Experience
I actually intended to try to do a month of Tinder but my brain cells would not allow it. The lack of intellectual stimulation, the lack of assertiveness in the men, the not want to go on a date, and just the I need to start this conversation off with something sexual was just a headache. Not to mention that keeping up with all the text messages, emails, and then swiping right and left were just becoming boring to me.
It was evident from many of the men’s pictures that they did not take care of themselves, they looked like they lived a hard life, someone of them were younger than me and looked about 10- 15 years older. I get partying is fun but it is so important not to live that hard life, drinking all the time, and partying all the time because you going to look it and you are going to look OLD before your time. This was VERY prevalent on Tinder so much so that I needed to mention it. People were looking old and worn out. Just saying.
12. Tips For Tinder ~ I did one week on Tinder ~ Do I Recommend
Sure, why not. Men can come at you and try to hook up with you but you always have the option to unmatched, block, ignore, or not respond. More than anything it will get you back out there in the dating world, comfortable with dating and talking to men, and at the very least get you on a few dates if you were like me and in a dating drought. Also, you can evaluate how you come across.
If you are talking to men time and time again or dating them time and time again and no one wants to talk to your afterward or ask you on a second date then you need some self-reflection because there is something you are putting off that is keeping men NOT interested.
If you know a single woman that wants to try Tinder then go ahead and share this post with her before she does. Let her go in eyes wide open.
Plus, have something for all you single ladies out there. And it is my book for single women, click here to check it out. If you are not sure then click here and I will give you the first few chapters for free.