To listen to the blog post: How I Learned To Stop Lusting With Spiritual Fasting over reading it just click the play button below.
When people think of lust then typically they associate it with men BUT there are lustful women out there in the world too. I should know because I was one of them. And now I really try to teach women how to stop lusting because I can speak about it from firsthand experience. That I actually speak about in my video below. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Now before we get started you should know that this is a Christian lifestyle blog and so what I am about to say is not only Christian but some of the stuff may sound out of the box to you. Some of you may think I am crazy. But as someone who holds an MS in counseling, a Ph.D. in human behavior, and is a Nationally Certified counselor I assure you I am not crazy. This is all very real and I promise you that if I had not firsthand suffered from lust to being cured of lust in three days then some of the stuff I am about to say may sound crazy to me too.
As I stated in my Resist the devil blog I believe that there are things that come into your life and into your mind that seek to pull you away from God and to try to get you to sin. In this case, that is where lust comes from. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion because as someone who suffered from lust I thought that my thoughts, my actions, and how I was behaving were just human nature. We are sexual beings, we want to have sex, think about sex, and have sex with really attractive men? It feels good, what is wrong with that?
But when I learned how to stop lusting I learned that lust had a mental and spiritual hold on me and it was causing me to act and behave in a way in which I literally was sinning and abusing my body. And I was allowing other people to sin against and abuse my body as well. And perhaps in some way, I was doing the same to them.
No matter how spiritual or none spiritual you are, I want you to read this post with an open mind. Because if you are trying to stop lust then why not give anything and everything a try. Which is why I am going to give you 8 steps to overcoming your lust in 3 days. But first, if you want more ways to deal with lust then watch my video below where I talk more about this topic AND don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
First, my struggle with lust. Yes, lustful women do exist.
I cannot tell you exactly when my struggle with lust started but I was VERY YOUNG. And no I was not molested or sexually abused. I was a normal teen and young adult probably doing what many teens and young adults were doing. And one might think that lust is just about having sex with any and everyone but that is not true. In fact, I struggled with lust BEFORE I even started having sex. Maybe it was with the discovery of porn through the internet. Maybe it was with my teenage boyfriend when he talked me into watching porn. It could be a thousand maybes as to who, why, and how I was exposed to lust. But it happened, early on in my life. Which brings me to step one and two.
Step #1. How To Stop Lusting By Admitting You Have A Problem
Admission is the first step to knowing you have a problem. And if you are saying that you are not a hoe, you are a virgin, you only slept with one person, or you just think about sex but don’t act on it that does not mean you don’t suffer from lust.
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
Lust can be sex, lust can be sexual thoughts, lust can be looking at someone and wanting to have sex with them. Lust can be wanting to have oral sex all the time. Even fantasizing yourself having sex with them can be lust. Lust is any sort of overwhelming sexual desire that you cannot control. If you want to learn how to stop lust you need to learn to recognize it.
You do not have to be going around sleeping with everyone in order to struggle with lust. Yes, that is typically how lust will manifest and what it will lead to if you don’t control it but you can still struggle with lust in other forms. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. You can be a virgin or faithful to your partner but if you have a porn addiction, that is still lust and it does not make your problem any least significant than those who are out sleeping around. Don’t excuse the fact that you are not acting on it as it not being that serious.
Step #2. How To Stop Lusting By Guard Your Mind
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
Or for the purposes of this message, I would like to take the contemporary English Bible translation that states:
More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
Like I said at the beginning of my story. Watching porn, thinking about sex, reading erotica novels, or looking at naked people on the internet is like downloading lust into your brain. Once you feed it, it will grow. And once it grows lust will start to manifest more and more and in different ways.
Case in point
As I got older, I was in relationships with men who liked to watch porn. When I lived with my ex-boyfriend that is literally ALL he would want to do. That is all he would want me to do, and before I became celibate he would want us to incorporate these pornographic techniques into our sex life. I was with my ex for a few years and I was faithful to him, but after we broke up that is literally when the lustful part of me started to get worst. And I am convinced that those years we spent watching porn just made a lust problem into a bigger lust problem.
The reason is that like I said, the porn, coupled with the fornication, combined with his issues with lust and my issues with lust just intensified the problem. And that is what my relationships and interactions with men became. A manifestation of the lust issues I had. I prioritized sex in a relationship and that was the only real thing that mattered to me when dealing with men.
And as for my ex, to this day he still suffers from lust. He is married now with a woman that he and she like to enjoy threesomes. AND on occasions, he goes to these parties where he participates in having sex with another man’s wife. He and several other men all at the same time. I am telling you this because this is how it progresses if left unhandled.
Step #3 How To Stop From Lusting By Staying Away From Sin
To most people having sex before marriage is not a big deal because that is what the world wants us to think. We are happy, not emotionally attached, and we go about your business. This nonsense is a myth. I urge you to check out my blog why you need Jesus more than sex because in that blog I spoke about soul ties. Which basically means that every time you are having sex with someone you are literally tying your soul to them and all their demons (for a lack of a better word are coming into you).
Soul ties are like super glue. If you’ve had sexual encounters outside of marriage there is most likely a lingering soul tie that needs to be dealt with otherwise you’ll forever be plagued with thoughts, feelings and even actions that are unwanted. (Source)
Case in point:
In the case with my ex, he was cheating on me with someone else and then he was coming back and sleeping with me. Can you imagine all the demons and soul ties going back in between us all? Because she had a boyfriend and so on and so forth. All these demons between us. Imagine if that person suffered from the lust that got passed to my ex, and then passed to me. And then when we broke up and I had sex with someone else all three of these soul ties then got spread into a new person. And really it is probably more than three because all those people probably slept with other people before we got with one another. As the below Bible verse says:
When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, I will return to the house I left When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. Matthew 12:43-45
Now I know that this can start sounding a little supernatural but bear with me for a moment. Everyone has their own demons and if they are just exchanging them with one another, that impurity gets stronger, inviting along its other little demons friends. Hence why my ex has now progressed to gangbangs and threesomes. Having fornication which we know is something God specifically tells us not to do, is a sin, no matter how popular it is and no matter how much we to do it.
I am not going to judge anyone because a lot of things are a sin. We all sin, probably every day if not multiple times a day. BUT you also have to know that when you sin you are leaving yourself open to other things to come in. So although we can never be perfect, you can at least TRY not to bring these things on to you by not sinning in these areas where you are weak. Especially if you struggle with lust.
The Moment I realized I was A Lustful Woman
When I realized that I had a problem I was in church with my friend. There was a REALLY attractive guy playing the drums and I started to have lustful thoughts about him and that is when I realized that I had a problem. Here I was, at Church, supposed to be receiving God’s word and I was lusting after the boy who played the drums. When I told my friend about it, she told me clearly that she felt I suffered from the spirit of lust. In fact, she had told me this before and I did not want to see it but the fact that I was lusting after someone in the church was a clear indication that something was really in truly wrong with me.
How To Stop Lusting and How I Got Over It In 3 Days
When all of this happened this was probably near a decade ago and I am still lust free. When people ask me how I could be celibate, why I don’t get tempted, and how they could NOT have sex I remember when I thought the same thing. But when I finally conquered my lust that is when I realized how much of a slave of it I really was to it. When I prayed and asked God what I needed to do to get out of this, God gave me the remaining steps I am going to tell you.
Step #4: How To Get Out Of Lusting By Fasting
This is something that I HIGHLY recommend. And fasting does not just have to be about food. You can fast from things other than food. In fact, I have an entire spiritual fasting guide called Fix It Jesus! Everything You Need To Know About Spiritual Fasting From Beginning To End and it is only 99 cents. You can click here or the picture below to get it. For a spiritual fast to be effective the fast really must push you spiritually and HARD. I also have a blog post on spiritual fasting that will give you the basics. When I prayed about how to get over this whole lust thing, God brought to mind Esther who fasted for three days and night not having any food or water to save the Jews from annihilation (Esther 4:16). And so that is what I chose to do, fast for three days but I did drink water.
Why this works: Since lust if a fleshly desire, food literally feeds the flesh. If you can get control over your flesh when you are hungry and you need food for survival, then it will also signify to your brain to get control over the lust. Because you don’t need lust but you need food. So if you can conquer a need then eat then lust is no problem.
Step #5: Prayer For Lusting To Stop
If you are just fasting but you are not doing anything to be closer to God then that is called not eating for a few days. This is about having a spiritual transformation, not a diet. So prayer must be included. When I say that I prayed, I PRAYED. It was not just in the morning, the afternoon, or the evening it was all day long whenever I had a moment. And it was in these moments that I realized how much lust had control over me.
As soon as I would think about something lustful I would pray and choose to NOT think about the lust at all. And I realized that I was praying a lot and that must have meant that I was thinking about sex a lot. I prayed when I saw a fine man, I prayed in the car, I prayed when that guy texted me asking me to come over, I prayed any and every time any sort of lust came to mind. I just prayed and it was not some formal affair. It was simply talking to God (see my blog here), asking for strength to get going and not for me to stumble.
Step #6 How To Get Out Of Lusting By Keep Yourself, Holy
As I said before we are not perfect but you still need to remain sin free in ALL areas. I think this goes without saying that if you are trying to cure yourself of lust then stay away from lustful activities or things that trigger you into lust. That includes that ex that you keep hooking up with. I stayed away from cursing, gossip, and any sort of negativity. I literally tried to be as sin free and as positive as I could in those 3 days.
I was nice to everyone, even if they were rude to me. I gave money to the homeless. I tried not to get angry, get upset at people, or gossip. It did not matter what it was, if it was sinful I did not do it. This goes with my earlier point that abstaining sin and negative will make it difficult for sinful and negative things to remain in you.
Step#7 Surround Yourself With God
For the entire fast, I only listened to gospel and not the radio. I did not even watch TV instead I watched sermons. And if I was not watching sermons I was listening to or reading the Bible. The only thing that I lived, breathed, heard, and did was something that was godly. Which lead me to:
My Final Battle With Lust
As I was driving in my car listening to the gospel the lustful thoughts started coming back in my head again. And I forcefully had to push the lust out of my head. Like I had to concentrate on doing this. I did not want to think lustful thoughts but they just kept coming. The more I tried the push them out the more they try to come. Literally, I remember turning up the gospel music in my car SO LOUD that it was all I could hear. And when the lust kept coming I begin to sing the music in my mind so I did not have time to focus on anything else but the words of the song.
During this process, I felt sick, as in I was dry heaving and about to throw up. I know it may sound crazy but it was in that moment that I really understand that lust is not a godly thing, that it was indeed demoniac. I was having a VERY physical response to trying to drive something out of my body and as I was driving my car down the road I felt like I was at war with myself.
I was about to throw up, music blasting, and singing all at the same time. All the while the lust thoughts kept trying to come back in and I was trying to push them out. Me feeling sick to my stomach. I am a Christian but I could not even believe it myself on how much I did not have control of my own thoughts so much so that trying to stop them I FELT SICK. This nausea feeling that I had I have come to know that this is called a spiritual purging. I am not sure that I would have believed in it if it did not happen to me.
After the third day of doing all of this, my lust was COMPLETELY gone never to return again. My mind felt so clear that it was so unbelievable on how much mind space and time this took up in me. How I allowed people to treat me because I was blinded by lust and how I treated other people because of lust. I did not treat them as people but objects for my enjoyment and perhaps they thought the same about me. I realized, how much I could not emotionally connect to someone because the lust got in the way of that. With lust, there was no emotional connection or anything deeper. It was just about lust. Lusting, acting out on lust, thinking about when I could lust, and who with. I was a slave to it and I did not even know until I was freed from it.
Step #8 Staying Lust Free
If you are a recovering drug addict the last thing you are going to do is go to a crack house to go watch TV. Because the temptation is too great and you will not long be a recovering drug addict but an active drug user because you went to a place that you just recovered from. Remember the above Bible Verse.
When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ˜I will return to the house I left. When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. Matthew 12:43-45
After you have rid yourself of lust it will want to come back and it will want to come back seven times harder than when it left. So you have to protect yourself from this by following the lessons that I have taught you. I have been celibate for YEARS because I know I am prone to lust. I have suffered from it and how I feel now that I do not suffer from it is greater than the feeling I have than sex. So that should tell you something. To some of you, that may sound crazy, but that is your lust talking or your worldly way talking. When I told you with my final battle with lust, did that sound fun to you? I was not in control at all, my lust was. And that is scary. A wonderful book I recommend you read on this topic is by Devon Franklin (click this affiliate link), it does pertain to men and lust but lust is lust and it can pertain to women too.
After you are healed then stay healed by staying clean. In the Bible whenever Jesus healed someone he would say go and sin no more. And the Bible would say the person got up and they would not return back to their sinful life. Let’s take for example Mary Magdalene in the Bible the woman who Jesus healed and had seven demons in her. After she was healed she followed Christ until his death and was the first to see Him resurrected. My point is this, they realized that being healed is half the battle, but you need to stay on the healed and to do that is to stay away from the thing you were healed from.
He does not say sin no more because it is fun for Him. Because we know God forgives when we do sin. He says it because if we fall back into the same patterns that you may never be able to get rid of it this time and it would be worse than the original affliction you rid yourself of.
But as a person who lived it, tried it, and recovered from it I want to tell you that if you suffer from lust then why not just try it? What do you have to lose? And remember my eBook on spiritual fasting on sells for 99 cents. You can click here to buy and feel free to watch my trailer on the book.