Do you keep asking yourself why is God keeping me single? I remember I used to ask God the same thing and that is when God decided to answer me and the answer was a hard dose of reality and it was not pretty. Because the answer was not about OTHER people, the answer was that God was keeping me single because there were some things that I needed to improve in myself. I think that we can get so consumed on why God is not giving us a relationship this becomes our entire focus. In my case, there were some things OR A LOT of things that God wanted me to heal from before he brought me a relationship.
I remember I used to sit in the one spot in my home and just whine, complain, and pray so hard about God not giving me a man. BUT that is the flaw, in the sense that if I was obsessed about a relationship THAT much then that was an issue that means that it had become an idol. And so single women I am going to tell you as God told me, why He is keeping you single and what you can do about it.
1. Why God is keeping me single because you have a purpose.
Relationships are fulfilling don’t get me wrong but I do not think that God went through all the trouble of forming you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5) just so that you can be a girlfriend, wife, or attached to a man? I think that God gave you, your unique talents and purpose that He wants you to do in this life independent of anyone else and that when you do that the man will naturally come.
For we [believers will be called to account and] must all appear before the [a]judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be repaid for what has been done in the body, whether good or [b]bad [that is, each will be held responsible for his actions, purposes, goals, motives” the use or misuse of his time, opportunities and abilities]. 2 Corinthians 5:10 (AMP)
When you are single what I want you to reflect on is how you are spending your time, what things are God presenting in front of you that you are not taking advantage of, perhaps because you are so focused on a man. One of the things that God told me on why He was keeping me single was that I had a purpose and perhaps that when I started to go about that purpose then I would meet the man along the way. But the refusal to move up was going to keep me stuck. Because the fact is that when I listened to God He was right. I do not date the same type of man and I know what man would be equally yoked with me. That was only possible when I found out what in the world I was supposed to be doing with my life and not focusing on the man that was not in my life.
Also, be sure to check out my video on why you should chase purpose and not a man where I go into more detail about this. And subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
2. God is keeping you single because relationships are your idol.
I know we know about the whole 10 commandants and even works of the flesh about having idols. Most people associate this with having other Gods BUT NO. It is anything that you want or desire more than God.
So put to death and deprive of power the evil longings of your earthly body [with its sensual, self-centered instincts] immorality, impurity, sinful passion, evil desire, and greed, which is [a kind of] idolatry [because it replaces your devotion to God]. Colossians 3:5 (AMP)
So perhaps all of the energy that you have put thinking about a relationship or even wanting a relationship should be put back in God. Relationships are not evil BUT when you long for them so much that it is all you think about and all you want then that is an idol because an idol replaces your devotion to God. And God is a jealous God, God is jealous for you and He is NEVER going to give you something that will take your focus off of him. Ideally, a relationship drives you closer to God not away from or replace.
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy because I have promised you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:2 (AMP)
3. Why is God keeping me single perhaps it is because you need to heal
We all have baggage that is just a fact of life, having baggage is not the issue but having baggage and not being aware of it and not dealing with it is the issue. If you have low self-esteem, then you will attract men that will take advantage of that. If you are needy or have daddy issues then you will attract toxic and emotionally abusive men. And if by chance, you do get a good man even with all of your issues, it will be hard for you to have a healthy relationship because your baggage will be crowding up the entire relationship because it is not dealt with. And either he will leave or the relationship would just be unbearable. No one wants to take on all the responsibility of your undealt with baggage
No one is perfect. We all have baggage even I have baggage BUT I have learned to deal with it. It is a very sad day when I see women who have baggage and they do not even know it. They swear up and down that they are ready to be in a relationship but they got all of these problems and God knows that if you were to join you with the other person that your issues will just transfer over to them and that is not fair. Which brings me to my next point.
4. God is keeping you single because you are toxic
I am a woman and I have encountered other toxic women so I can only imagine how some of these men feel when dealing with some of you. Some of them whine, complain, and yell way too much. And make a mountain over a molehill, every little thing is an issue. For the Bible clearly states:
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain, and a contentious (quarrelsome) woman are alike; whoever attempts to restrain her [criticism] might as well try to stop the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand. Proverbs 27:15-20
Meaning that some of your mouths are wreckless, some of you are doing way too much and do not know how to talk to people. When you read the Proverbs 31 woman which I recommend all of you do it says this:
The heart of her husband trusts in her [with secure confidence], and he will have no lack of gain. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good and not evil. All the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 11-12
That means you have to ask yourself who you are in a relationship. Can a man trust you? Are you out with other men flirting? Are you encouraging or are you just yelling all the time telling him that you are going to leave if you donâ€™t get what you want? If you are toxic energy when you are in a relationship then you need to figure out a way to heal from that as no man wants to be infected with it. A great place to start would be to check out my video on the type of woman God wants you to be. Which you can watch below.
5. Why Is God Keeping Me Single, It is because you don’t know what love is.
I was a big offender of this. For some reason, women think that it is our purpose to be the ride or die chick even to men who refuse to men. And we somehow feel that this is the true essence of love when that is simply NOT true. When you read the following Bible verse:
Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Although no one is perfect and perhaps we can never find this true form of love we should at least try to both be and find someone that is like this. I talk about my emotionally abusive relationship with my son’s father and it was everything that was the opposite of this. So if you keep getting yourself into the wrong type of relationship then God is not going to keep allowing you to hurt your self. Your singleness is to protect you until you can recognize real love and accept that this is God’s will for you and not some jacked-up version of it. Also, check out my video below on when love is not enough.
6. God is keeping you single because you have nothing to offer.
Leave it to me to keep it real with you. Some of you women have nothing to offer and have the nerve to want the BEST possible man. The fact of the matter is that when God created Eve he created her to be a companion to the man.
But for Adam there was not found a helper [that was] suitable (a companion) for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man. Genesis 2:4-3:24 (AMP)
Relationships are not just about sex, it is not just about a man giving you money, in fact, relationships are NOT all about you. You have to bring something to a relationship. No one wants to feel used and no one wants to feel like they are getting into a relationship with someone that has nothing to offer. In the book Played or Be Played (which you can click here to buy but fair warning it has some profanity in it and I also talk about this in my patron (which you can click here and become a member of). He rates women A to F and the F woman are the desperate women that have nothing to offer. The A women are the attractive women that have their life together and have everything to offer which is why they have their choice of men. Figure out which one you fall into and became an A woman and as I said if you need help doing that then join my patreon.
I know some of these tips are not ones that you want to hear but if you are asking yourself why is God keeping me single then you know that the only person you can change is you. It can be some of these reasons or it can be none of this BUT it is best to always continue working on yourself so that you can both attract and be the ideal partner.
If you know someone that may need to read this blog then go ahead and share it with them. PLUS, I have a book for Christian single women that you can buy here and it is even on audible. If, you are not sure if the book is for you then click here or the picture below to get the first chapter free.