A few years ago I wrote a blog about why a married man cannot love his mistress (which you can read here) and it went VIRAL. That post attracted so many women wondering why my husband left me for another woman. I could not predict the virality of that post because someone who was messing with a married man requested me to write it and I thought to myself who could not see through the trickery of this. But apparently, this is something that plagues many mistresses and married women. So married women whose husband left them for another woman this one is for you.
Because that post was to encourage women to stop messing with married men, BUT on the opposite end of the spectrum is the wives who were left, that did not want to accept my advice and all they had to say was that their husband left me for another woman and so they want to convince me that I was wrong and indeed a married man can love their mistress.
And so I am here to offer you some encouragement and also some perspective. Amid the pain of the situation, it can be very difficult to see the situation for what it is because your husband left for another woman and in your mind, they are off living happily ever after, perhaps he may be starting another family with her and so to you I must be wrong. BUT remember this, everything that glitters is not gold which brings me to lesson #1:
What is love really
I know you may not want to hear this in the midst of your pain but let’s talk about what love is. In the previous post, I said that a mistress and your husband’s relationship is probably not built off love. It is probably built off of lust and false delusions of what a relationship is. Not reality. Many people have a superficial form of love thinking that because you feel butterflies or some other nonsense that this is love, that is false. That is the world’s Hollywood view of love that is not based in reality.
As it states
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love would have been to remain with you, his wife. Love would have been keeping a commitment to marriage and resisting the temptation of another woman. Never get it twisted in thinking that because you are married someone is never going to “feel attraction” to another person. Perhaps you may have felt an attraction to another man in your marriage BUT what stopped you. I hope the fact that you loved your spouse and that you did not want to hurt that person and you wanted to honor your marriage. That is something that your husband did not do. Which brings me to my next point.
He Has a Character Flaw
If your husband left you for another woman then he has a character flaw. Never think that in a million years that because he left you for another woman that he was sleeping with that somehow everything is going to be all peaches and cream and all his cheating ways are gone forever. That is not the case. He has an issue with resisting temptation and staying committed to the one that he loves (no matter if it is you or if it is her). A man who is not willing to honor a God-given commitment to stay truthful to his wife (the vow he made at court, a wedding, or whatever) is no man.
He did not just break his commitment to you but God and if He willing to do that to God, then what makes you think that he will not do it to her? In fact, statistics say that he probably will (as I explained in this post).
Case in point:
I mean look at the case of Khole Kardashian and Tristian Thomas. He had a pregnant fiancé when he met Khole and he cheated on her while she was pregnant AND after she had the baby. BECAUSE he has a character flaw. I am sure his fiancé when she was pregnant, may have thought him and Khole was going to skip into the sunset, but that is just not reality. If he has that in him, then that is how he is. Do not get upset over your husband leaving you for another woman because it is highly likely that he will do the same to her.
I know that because even men I have dated that left me for other women and even married them have come back, wanting to “try to sleep with me” or engage in an affair with me (don’t get it twisted I do not play those games) but in the end, they have a CHARACTER FLAW. Their marriages look picture perfect on the outside but the cheater that they are on the inside remained unchanged.
A Relationship Built Off Wrong Are Not Without Their Consequences
The fact of the matter is that the person that your husband left you for their relationship is created off of cheating, deceit, deception, and sneaking behind your back. This is not to make you feel bad as a mistress. But the truth is the truth. The relationship was not created out of honestly, morale and integrity (also known as the fruits of the spirit) or out of pure and honest devotion to one another. And because of that, there is always going to be distrust.
Each person will have distrust thinking to themselves “well I met you when I was cheated on you how do I know you won’t do it to me?” Or because the relationship was built on sneaking around it is a large possibility that when they to get to know one another aside from the sex, the lustful aspect, and the good time. Because let’s not get it twisted most of the time the mistress is normally a “getaway” from every day of marriage.
And the relationship is not built of something that is read but rather a romanticized relationship. Both people probably just enjoy or put on the good in front of one another and not the bad. When each relationship has both good and bad. For everyone, and as they get to know each other and see the bad then really they may not even like each other and the things that he hated about his marriage might pop up once again because no relationship is without its challenges.
And if you are a mistress then don’t get mad, I have something for you it is my 5 Step Plan To Getting Over A Married Man. Because my plan is NOT to judge you but to help you and ideally prevent you from making a mistake. AND for my married women who are in this situation.
And for all of my ladies, who found themslelves in this situtation then I have something for you too. An over 40 minute audio that will help you get through your husband leaving you for another woman and to get back on track with living your best life. Click here to buy it. And don’t forget to share this post.