To listen to the blog post Can I Fix A One Sided Relationship Or Should I End It? Over reading it just click the play button below.
Are you in a one sided relationship? Do you even know? Well, first thing is first. I am going to give you some of the obvious signs that you are in a one sided relationship as well as let you know how you can fix your one sided relationship IF he can be fixed at all.
One sided relationship meaning
When it comes to one sided relationships typically this means that one person is putting forth most or worst all of the real effort while the other person is really not giving or doing anything much.
To be clear some of the one sided relationship signs include:
- You are always the one initiating
You are the one initiating contact, plans, dates, communication. In fact, if you are not initiating something within the relationship then you fear or better yet know that what you want will not be done.
- You are always the one bending
You are in a one sided relationship if you are always the one coming to his house, driving to him, things always have to be his way, you give in to what he wants to make him happy and never the other way around. You are the one that always has to bend and compromise and he will never meet you halfway.
- He shows little to no consideration for how you feel
If you are always telling your significant other that you do not want him to do something and he specifically does it anyway without a care in the world about how you feel about it, then your relationship may be one sided. This may include to not stay out with his friends to 4 am and not answer your text or the phone because you get worried. If he cannot simply answer your text to let you know that he is still breathing and to alleviate your worry for him, then yes your relationship may be one sided.
If you are not sure you can tell your boyfriend that you want him to do (fill in the blank) and that doing so would mean a lot to you but if he just straight up ignores you, doesn’t do it, doesn’t remember, or doesn’t care then that means that he does not have much consideration for how you feel.
- You are always the one giving.
You give him something on his birthday but when your birthday comes either he gives you nothing or a gift that he just picked up from the gas station or something on his way home. No thought or effort at all. You give him something for your anniversary while he forgets you even have an anniversary. You give him hugs, loves, and kisses while he is pushing you off of him …unless it has to do with sex then he will have sex but otherwise, he really does not want to give any official declarations of love or caring.
I mean the list can go on and on but really you know that some of the signs of a one sided relationship are if you know (and stop being denial about it) but know that you are always the one giving and if you stop giving them you know the relationship will go down the drain because literally, your partner would not put forth any effort if you were not doing it. Remember relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial you can watch my video down below for more on that.
Maybe you just now realized that you are in a one sided relationship or maybe you know but the real question is should you stay or should you let it go.
Can your one sided relationship be fixed?
If your one sided relationship can be fixed it really comes down to this one thing: Does your partner care? There may be times in which the relationship is completely one sided and your partner may not even notice it BUT once you bring it to their attention then they are willing to change their behavior because they care about you.
But if you start to bring it to their attention and they do not care, or they do not change their actions then no it cannot be fixed simply because they are not invested in the relationship.
So the first step:
When trying to figure out if you should leave or stay your one sided relationship just like I said above communicate the issue. Do not assume that he knows that the relationship is one sided or what you are upset about. It is possible that he does but the only REAL way to ensure that he knows is for you to just tell him.
And when I say tell him it does not mean roll up on him and start screaming hysterically. That is not the way to solve the problem. But rather just letting him know that you feel that you are putting forth all of the efforts and that the relationship seems one sided and the MOST important thing that you must say is that you want something to change and then express what you would like to change.
If he really wants to change the course of your relationship or cares about the relationship then ideally he should listen and you should see some changes in his behavior.
RED FLAGS TO LOOK FOR
- If he starts gaslighting you are starts an argument.
- If he tries to make you feel like crap for voicing your concerns.
- If he starts to make everything about him and dismisses your concerns.
- If he displays any signs of narcissism which you can read my blog here.
- If he does not change anything about your relationship after you have told him.
If your partner displays any of these red flags or worse does not change then I think you have your answer and you need to bounce. You can also check out my video below on the traits of a weak man for more red flags.
The second step is that you need to pull way back and stop doing so much. You have told him how you felt you have told him what you want and if you are too busy doing then how can you really evaluate if he has changed or not.
For example, if you are always the one planning dates, planning time together, calling or texting him, then just stop. If he takes initiative to start doing these things for you then yes perhaps your relationship can be saved. But if you never hear from him again after you pull back then you probably need to let the relationship go. He cannot even check on you to find out if you are dead or alive.
Leave. This is not some mind game that you are going to play to get him back, but you are really going to leave. You have already had a conversation with him and pulled way back and if he is showing that he still does not care that the relationship is one sided then you just need to leave.
This will be the final and ultimate proof of if the relationship can be fixed or not. If he cares, then he will start to put for the effort to fix your relationship. But if he helps you pack your bags, doesn’t notice if you are gone, or does not make any attempt to contact you after you leave then you have your answer you need to leave.
In closing, I need all of my ladies to know that despite what many of us think (because I have encountered females like this) you do not deserve to be in a one sided relationship. Some women are so used to giving and giving and not receiving that they think the one sided relationship is normal it isn’t. Do not give to a man that is not willing to give the same back to you. Remember that.
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