When To Give The Benefit Of The Doubt & When Not To

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Let’s talk about when to give someone the benefit of the doubt and when you should not.  There are people, family, and even friends that may do something to piss you off.  There are times when you give these people the benefit of the doubt and then you two go forward and have a happy go lucky relationship. 

Then there are times when you give someone the benefit of the doubt and then they turn around and screw you over the next day. As I said in my blog when God removes someone from your life, yes we should forgive everyone but that does not mean that everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt from you.  The two do not go hand and hand, and you can watch my video below to see more on that. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here

What Is Giving Someone The Benefit Of The Doubt

According to the Urban dictionary, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means: To give someone the benefit of the doubt is to default to the belief that their intentions are honest, and not assume malice when there is uncertainty or doubt surrounding the circumstances.  And the way I see it there are two kinds of people that go WRONG when giving others the benefit of the doubt.  

Group #1: Those Who Are Over Paranoid Tend To Go Wrong

There are people out there who would not give Jesus the benefit of the doubt if he appeared before them.  When you are too suspicious of people and feel that any and everyone is against you then that is a sign of bitterness (read my blog here). People who never give anyone the benefit of the doubt are people who probably have deep-rooted trust issues. Signs of these people are: 

  • People who think that everyone is against them, they don’t know they just think. 
  • They want to “get others” before others “get them.”
  • They tend to be very defensive.  You can say hello and they will probably ask you “what did you mean by that?” 

Case In Point

I once had a friend that wanted to date a man that she knew for a long time.  She heard that in the past he was with a woman that she also knew and “played her.” So my friend canceled the date with a man over rumors over what he may or may not have done with another woman that was not her. 

This is a prime example to give someone the benefit of the doubt and not chalk them up as a player due to information you may have heard.  And even if the information that you did hear were true, then keep it in the back of your head and give him the benefit of the doubt anyway. 

You never want to count someone out over information that does not directly involve you because there are always two sides to the story.  On the other hand, if he starts treating you the same way, then stop giving him the benefit of the doubt and walk away.

Group #2: Those Who Give Everyone A Chance

On the opposite end of the spectrum, these are people who give everyone the benefit of the doubt when really they need to cut some people out of their lives.  These could be the women who:

  • Stay in cheating relationships, knowing that their man is cheating.
  • Dismiss evidence of a cheating man when there is clear evidence that he is cheating.
  • Keeps giving a friend a benefit of the doubt even though every time her friend is around money comes up missing from your purse. 

Also, watch my video below on the type of women who tolerate cheating. This is why you need to know when to give people the benefit of the doubt and when you need to let go and their nonsense with them.  

Case In Point

Let’s take for example if your best friend tries to sleep with your boyfriend and she denies it and you are wondering if you should give her the benefit of the doubt or not.  When you think about it she has tried to sleep with your last boyfriend and she tends to sleep around with a lot of other women’s boyfriends too.  And one time when she was drunk she slipped up and told you how she wanted to sleep with your man. 

This is a prime example of when NOT to give someone the benefit of the doubt and perhaps cut them out of your life.  Do not say to yourself that because they did not actually have sex with your boyfriend that all is fine and dandy.  Do not give someone the benefit of the doubt knowing that it is likely that they are going to hurt you again. 

Because that is the kind of person that they are.  Because then at one point you have to blame yourself for someone continuously hurting you if you keep giving them the benefit of the doubt every time they do.  Also, check out my video on when God is trying to remove someone from your life. 

Signs That You Do Need To Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt

  • They are typically a trustworthy person.

 

  • They have not given you a reason not to trust them (feeling it in your spirit does not count).
  • After they did you wrong, they apologized and have never given you a reason to not trust them after that. 
  • What they did was a genuine misunderstanding and not done to intentionally hurt you. 
  • When they actually take time to explain to you what is going on when you ask and are not avoidant or defensive when they talk to you about the situation. 

Signs That You Should Not Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt

  • They lie, lie, and keep lying.  And when you ask them about their lies, they lie to you some more. 
  • You gave them the benefit of the doubt the first time and they messed up again shortly after. 
  • They have a reputation for the same thing they have done to you. For example, lying, stealing, gossip, backstabber. 

I hope that these were some great tips on when you should give someone the benefit of the doubt versus when you should not.  If you know someone who may want to read this post then share it with them.  And don’t forget to get my book for single women for more advice which you can click here to buy.

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