What’s The REAL Meaning Of Love? Are You In It

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Let’s talk about what’s the meaning of love.  Because the fact of the matter is that most people do not know the real meaning of love.  They may think they know the meaning of love when in actuality they are just in lust or infatuation.  As a mental health professional who has counseled so many couples who think they are in love OR better yet single women who thought they were in love, I have found a few common trends such as. 

  • People mistake attraction for love.  Just because you are physically attracted to someone or have great sex does not mean that you love them or vice versa. 
  • People see what they want to see.  They will often attach love to a person based on who they think they are, not who they actually are. 
  • People don’t know how to love or be loved. And mistake drama or being toxic for love.  When really it’s just being toxic. 

I wrote a blog and also did a video on my grandparents who have been married for over 55 years.  If you want some additional meanings on what is love then check out that video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here

What’s The Meaning Of Love

To make this easy for you, let’s just go into the Biblical definition of love.  Because it really is the basic definition of love when you think about it.  Where most people fall short is that they do not know what love is or they try to form love where they is none.  You may know this Bible verse as love is patient and love is kind but I will be taking the amplified Bible version which you can click here to buy.  Just because it gives a deeper meaning to “what’s the meaning of love.” 

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].  Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

What Is NOT Love

When you read the above Bible verse it clearly spells out “what’s the meaning of love” and what love is not.  For example: 

  • Love is not jealous.
  • Love does not boast. 
  • It is not prideful or angry.  
  • It isn’t arrogant. 
  • And rejoice in truth. 

So what this basically means is that the person that you love should not be hitting on you, putting you down, or be easily angered.  Love is not something where you are bonded by trauma and you get off by hurting one another.  Love is not something that either of you is jealous of and is always accusing one another of cheating.  I know we don’t want to believe this but the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of unhealed people out there jumping into relationships saying that they love one another only for it to end up being a hot toxic mess.  

Because most people jump into a relationship without really getting to know someone.  Want to slap the love label on top of them.  And then when everything goes haywire they still want to call it love or say that love hurts when really the TYPE of love they have accepted hurts.  The person they accepted love from hurts because THAT person is damaged.  Not because love is not real, but because the person that you have entered a so-called relationship with does not know how to love (or vice versa) and because of this you two end up doing more harm to one another than good.  

Remember love is not supposed to be some toxic version of love.  Or something that people do to one another as a weapon against each other.  Getting into too many relationships where jealousy, anger, and arrogance are the focus will have you develop an unrealistic viewpoint on love and make you think that love is supposed to contain all of those toxic emotions when really it’s not. Also, check out my video where I talk about how soul ties can make you develop your own issues. 

What’s The Meaning Of Love ~ Realistically 

When you read the Bible verse of love, it is very unrealistic to have this exact type of love.  And that is because people are imperfect and so we have emotions.  There are sometimes where you might get jealous or angry in a relationship, but the key is to not let these things fester.  I want you to watch my video where I talk more about this.  But ride with me in this scenario.  Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner did something to make you mad and instead of addressing it you ignored it?  

And because you ignored it, you were not able to address it, and each day that you were with your partner and everything they did just made you angrier and angrier.  Until eventually you want to get back at them and you eventually end up flirting and possibly cheating with another man all because you have unresolved anger against your partner. 

And that is why we do not let bad emotions fester in our relationships.  So even though we are not perfect, according to the above Bible verse love is about:

  • Being able to go to your partner and talk openly to them about your emotions in a relationship. 
  • Not just to talk, but to know that your concerns will be heard and addressed by your partner.  Not ignored. 
  • Love is about understanding that your person is not perfect BUT as long as they are willing to work on the relationship in an HONEST way, that this is love. 

What Do I Mean By Honest

One of the true testaments to “what’s the meaning of love” is knowing when someone is actually willing to work on something with you.  Versus just telling you what you want to hear and doing the opposite.  As I said before, people are not perfect and mistakes happen. 

But in the case of love once you express what concerns you to the other person then they should not continue to do the same offense over and over again.  This can be said for cheating.  If a man cheats on you and says he loves you IF you are willing to forgive him then he should not cheat on you again.  AND he should be willing to go above and beyond to make you trust him again.  That is love. 

What is not love is a man cheating on you, remaining friends with the woman he cheated on you with, trying to call you insecure because you don’t trust him. And three months later he cheats on you again.  That is called gaslighting.  A person who loves you will try to rectify their wrong when you bring it to their attention.  Not tell you to get over it and then go out and do it again. 

What’s The Meaning Of Love Final Test

You remember that Bible verse where we talked about what the real meaning of love is.  I want you to revisit that Bible verse and replace the word “love” with your partner.  So let’s read it again: 

  • (Your partner’s name) endures with patience and serenity. 
  • (Your partner’s name) is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; 
  • (Your partner’s name) does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 
  • (Your partner’s name) is not rude; self-seeking, is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; does not take into account a wrong endured. 
  • (Your partner’s name)  does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].
  • (Your partner’s name) bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

If you can enter your partner’s name and REALLY feel like it’s true then it could be love.  If you feel like the person is so far off than what the above Bible verse is describing then you may want to reconsider.  Love is supposed to be joyful, maybe not all of the time but at least most of the time. And love is not bonded by toxicity, always remember that.  If you know someone who may need to read this post then go ahead and share it with them.  Plus consider getting my book for single women for more relationship and dating advice.  You can click here to buy

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