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Most people have a hard time believing me when I tell them I am living a happy single Christian life. When I tell people that I am 30 and single (well 30 plus) and I am enjoying my life without a man they look at me as though I am a creature from another planet. It seems like when you tell people you are single, especially for us 30 and up, they look at you as if you have just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
But there are many women living a happy single life. I am one of them and in this post, I am going to showcase some other women who also do it. That way you can see that it is possible and ideally it will encourage all you single women out there to get up and start living your own happy single Christian life.
How To Be Happy When Single ~ Case In Point: Me AKA Sophia Reed PhD NCC
The first lesson on how to be happy when single comes from me. You would not believe how much slack I get for not going out more, not going out to parties more, not dating more, not doing this that and third MORE, and not doing what other people think I should be doing more. But ask me if I care.
I DON’T. And the reason why I don’t care is that I am trying to do something with my life and what I am currently doing is making me happy. So why listen to what other people think I should be doing just because they think I should be doing it. When I set out to spend my time on something I think to myself.
A. Is this bringing me closer to my goals?
B. Is this going to make me happy?
You may be looking at me with your mouth wide open saying WHAT! Men and partying don’t make you happy? No. I make me happy and what I want to do with my life makes me happy. My mind is blown, right? Because this is not what people like to teach other women? Going out and husband-hunting should be the goal, and if you are not doing that, then you must be depressed? I am not, you can watch my video below on how I stopped being single and desperate.
But see what depresses me is if I was sitting around not living up to my potential. And don’t get me wrong. I use to party and my husband hunts a lot. But that did not make me happy at all, it just made me frustrated.
During those times where I went through my “I am lonely and single-phase” I was mopping around the house all depressed. Because I always felt like “what am I doing with my life?” And the husband-hunting and partying was just covering up the fact that I was doing NOTHING with my life.
That is when I realized that more than anything when I die I want to look back on my life and say that I made a mark, that I did something that I am proud of, and that I left a legacy behind me for years to come.
Or I should not say that this was my idea God gave me that idea. What I realized that I could not find peace, happiness, and joy in all the worldly things around me I felt like I needed to give my life some meaning and start living my life instead of waiting for my life to happen.
This is why I decided to chase the purpose and not the man. Having full confidence when I did the man will come and in the meantime, I would still be living life. You can check out my YouTube video on below and click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here.
How To Be Happy When Single Lessons Learned:
- The first thing that leads to my happiness is that I found out that when I have God I am never alone. And just knowing that and cultivating that relationship counted for a lot.
- Second is if I cannot be happy as a single woman, then it is going to be very difficult for me to be happy with someone else. Even if you are tired of being single, you should still be able to make yourself happy. Relationships can bring you joy, but it is not other people’s responsibility to make you happy. It is yours.
In the midst of my singleness, I got a master’s degree and now a Ph.D. (check out my about me page). And I even have my own books and products (click here) If it was not for being single then I may not be where I am today. That is what I call living your single life. Not stopping and thinking you have nothing else going on because you do not have a man. But choosing to have God and allowing him to bring you to new heights with just you and Him.
How To Be Happy When Single ~ Heather Lindsey
Okay so she is married now but there was a time where she was single and went through the same exact struggles that so many of you Christian single women go through today. More than anything you should look at her for inspiration on how to be happy when single and know that if God can do it for her then he can do it for you. Here is some of her story you can read the full post over at her blog. Click here.
MEN were a stronghold for me for YEARS. It was so hard for me NOT to be in a relationship. Even with my date nights with Jesus and everything.. I still struggled with being OK with being alone. I searched all overlooking to place my value in people, things, money, purses & the way I looked and I came up EMPTY. Then one day, I got SICK and tired of having one foot in the world & ONE foot in the kingdom of God.
So I broke it off with my random. Was it hard? Well, yeah “but at this point, I had this relentless determination to live for Christ. “I just knew that my CURRENT relationships at that time were not God’s best for my life. They were DITCHES and not bridges.
GOD was pulling on my heart & I had no peace with them. I didn’t know who I was going to marry but at that point, it didn’t matter. I would have RATHER been by myself for 10 years then to date another random.”
So I went to the Lord and said.. finally. Daddy, you are all I need. And I so content in you. With tears in my eyes, I poured out to Him. All of my hurt, my pain, my soul ties, my sadness, my rejection, and my fears. I laid them at His feet and from that day forward I started worshiping Jesus with my life. After some time passed, and many more tests.. I met my now-husband. He walked by me for 3 years at church and the most we said was hello. Within 20 minutes of talking to each other “we knew that we had met our one-day spouses. There was no question. God’s TIMING is PERFECT.
Heather is now married with three children and has her own full-time ministry, fashion boutique, and is a best-selling author which you can buy some of her books below. What we can learn from Heather is that she sought God FIRST and the rest followed.
Heather Lindsey’s Books
- Pink Lips & Empty Hearts
- Dusty Crowns: eliminating the distractions and becoming the woman God called you to be
- The Purpose Room: A Meeting Place Where You Discover, Birth and Accomplish Your God-Given Purpose
- Silent Seasons: Trusting God When You Don’t Understand
How To Be Happy When Single ~ Mandy Hale
Mandy Hale runs the blog known as the single woman. In her interview with CBN it states that Mandy ended her 2-year relationship and couldn’t find any books on how to enjoy being single. “There was nothing about enjoying the moment, says Mandy. She started a column that led to The Single Woman Twitter page which almost overnight began to pick up steam.
The Twitter page surpassed 100,000 followers in under 6 months. That led to a Facebook page, which led to the creation of a website a year later, which led to an e-book, which became her first book, The Single Woman. I also have to mention that Mandy is a New York Times Best Seller.
What we can learn from Mandy and how she lived her happy single Christian life is that what was suppose to break her made her stronger and her breakup gave her a purpose. Check out her books below:
- The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
- Don’t Believe the Swipe
- You Are Enough: Heartbreak, Healing, and Becoming Whole
- Beautiful Uncertainty
- I’ve Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After
How To Be Happy When Single ~ Final Points
There are three women here who can teach you how to be happy when single because they were happy when they were single.
First, myself. Who has three degrees and is a National Certified Counselor, Heather which has her own ministry but has also gotten her happy ending, and Mandy who may still be single but that is not slowing her down from being who God called her to be.
If you can relate to any of these women then know that God can give you a purpose and something that we ALL have in common is that we chose to be happy and starting living for God and not the world. That is when the happiness started and that is when we started to find fulfillment in our life. And last but now least, check out my video on how to be happy when single for more tips.
If you know a fellow single woman who needs to get her own happy single life then doesn’t be selfish. Share this post with her.
Also, for all you single women get my book, Fix it Jesus for single women only by clicking here. If you are undecided I want to give you the first few chapters for free by clicking here or the picture below.