To listen to the blog post “Signs Of Emotionally Unavailable Men & How To Handle Them” over reading it just click the play button below.
Are you dating emotionally unavailable men? And even worse are you jumping through hoops and doing the absolute most to try to change him and make him into the man that you know he can be? You may be wondering if you are doing something wrong. Asking yourself what you can be doing better. Is it you? Is it him?
Why is he acting this way and even worse why you are running to all these emotionally immature men. Either way, I am going to lend a helping hand and tell you exactly how to deal with an emotionally immature man and give your own self peace of mind.
So let’s get into it, shall we?
1. Common Signs Of Emotionally Unavailable Men
Some signs of emotionally immature men are that:
- They prefer to take you to their bed over a date. Also, check out my blog on where is my Boaz for examples of an emotionally mature man.
- He may not want to talk about a future but rather talk to you about how he can get you in his bed.
- He may not want to talk about marriage or monogamy, and the only title he wants to give you includes the names he calls you in bed.
- He talks down to you and he treats you badly. Instead of admitting it, he tries to tell you it is your fault.
- He does not want a relationship with you.
- And he does not take your “relationship” seriously.
- He cannot communicate properly and your conversations often end up in arguments and go nowhere.
But don’t worry we have all been there. Check out my video on some of the other ways that men manipulate women and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
2. Emotionally Unavailable Men ~ True Story
I can recall when I lived with my ex-boyfriend some years ago, his main pet peeve of me was that I wanted to talk about religion, spiritual things, and what I wanted out of the future. He did not want to do that. He just wanted to have sex (before I became celibate, see my blog here on my story), play video games, and watch porn.
I went along with it because like most women, I did not want to lose my man. I did not want to face the fact that he was one of many emotionally immature men, he simply was not that deep, and our relationship was on a path to nowhere.
Some men do not care to have a purpose, do not think about their future family, do not think about getting married, nor do they think about treating other people right. It is not up to you to change every twisted and jilted person. It is also not up to you to sit, cry, and be sad over what they are not.
Just because they are not about anything special does not mean that you have to stoop down to their level by becoming nothing special too. Do not shrink your intellect, purpose, self-worth, or intention so that emotionally unavailable men will not inadequate around you or will not break up with you.
Do not be afraid to stand out in a group of superficial men. And do not feel like you have to act just like them or become what they want you to be in order to please them. Even if it means that you have to take a dating break or break up with your current boyfriend because you know that your relationship is on the path to nowhere. It is better to leave emotionally immature men alone than it is to engage in a situation in which you know that you will ultimately get hurt and hinder your own personal growth.
3. Emotionally Unavailable Men ~ How To Deal With Emotionally Immature Men
This is going to be a hard pill to swallow but I rather you put the blame on yourself for picking emotionally immature men, instead of trying to find a logical explanation for a man’s emotional immaturity. Because you cannot change a man who does not want to change but you can change if you stay or not.
Sometimes it is best to just accept that some people just are not that deep of a person. That they don’t want to change and that they have no interest in being a better man. The sad reality is that the reason why they are emotionally immature is that they want to be. And the reason why men are emotionally immature with you is that you allow it.
A major flaw that women have is that they want to make every excuse in the world for men. Instead of trying to find a logical explanation for emotionally immature men, just accept that some people just are not that deep of a person. As women, we want to bring up the fact that a man has been hurt before, has had a bad childhood, or has some deep-rooted mental illness as to the reason why he is emotionally immature.
Women make excuses for a man when really he is probably just a shallow man, no ifs and or buts about it. He is choosing to be emotionally immature because that is who he wants to be. Some men are emotionally immature men and oftentimes it has nothing to do with you BUT everything to do with them. They do not want marriage, they do not want a relationship, they do not want anything out of life and men like this do not really care about you all they really care about is what they can get out of you.
Sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer and that is to just walk away and let them be who they are without you. As a woman, there is no need to try to take on the responsibility of changing a man or to try to make them see what a wonderful woman they were passing up. It is not your job or your place as a woman to do that. It is a man’s job to lead. And if he does not want to lead himself out of the land of emotional immaturity, then let him stay in it.
Do not beat yourself up wondering why you were overlooked. Do NOT pray to God every day hoping that God will somehow open their eyes and MAKE them see that you are the one. And most importantly do not make excuses for a man’s shortcomings. The moment you do that, then you are trying to prove yourself to a man that is ill equipt to be with you anyway due to him being emotionally unavailable.
4. Emotionally Unavailable Men ~ Emotionally Unavailable Men Set Boundaries
Who are you? What do you value? You must figure out what you’re comfortable with and what you aren’t. Instead of creating your boundaries around a difficult relationship in your life, you must make your boundaries about yourself. The biggest part of boundaries is HOW clearly you communicate them. You can have the most healthy set of boundaries on the planet but if you do not communicate them clearly, you are going to create some really confusing relationships, both for you and everyone else involved. (Source).
Meaning that it comes to this, you set the tone on how you expect to be treated. Once someone goes against the tone you set you cut them off. Do not give someone chance after chance to disrespect you and treat you badly time after time. You set the tone on how you want to be treated. If someone is not willing to give in to the tone you set then warn them, if they still do not pay attention to your boundaries then you leave.
You can show people how to treat you better than you can tell them. Meaning that you can tell a man to “man up” all you want to. But unless you are willing to put action behind your words and leave them alone when they don’t then you will just be in a circle of foolishness and continuously being disrespected. Which I talk about in my video below.
5. Emotionally Unavailable Men ~ Don’t Focus On Them
Just remember this, there are billions of people in this world. There are way too many men that would be willing to treat you right and be what you need them to be for you sit around and stay with one who won’t. And therefore, why waste time on the men who refuse to be what you need them to be?
What one man won’t do for you another man will. And if a man treats you like trash another man will treat you like their treasure. But the key to getting to that man is to cut off the man who is not willing to be the man that you need in your life. So don’t waste time on the ones who won’t and wait for and only entertain the men who will.
If you know a woman that is mixed up with emotionally unavailable men then go ahead and share this post with her.
Plus I have something free for you. It is a free chapter of my book specifically for single women (click here to buy). All you have to do to get the free chapter is click here or the picture below and it will be emailed right to you.
I love your honesty. I now I’m not alone with the bad dating experiences in past lol.
I used to feel awful because I always thought I could fix a guy. In my experience, it’s not worth it. Find a guy you don’t have to fix and life is much happier. This post is on point.
sophia omg, ‘pretty for a dark skinned girl’. what an ass. that makes me so upset. his loss!!!! you are precious and am so happy you are past that sh**. i’ve been there too. i hope my daughters never do anything as cringe-worthy as what i’ve done trying to figure out who i was and what my boundaries are. cheers to strong, beautiful, kind woman who know their worth. xx