If you would rather listen to this blog post “What Wives Submit to Your Husband REALLY Means” over reading it then click the play button below.
When husbands and wives hear wives submit to your husband everyone can get stuck on what that means. Women think that this phrase means that you become a lapdog to your husband giving in to his every demand and whim. Some husbands think this means that he has a built-in sex and houses slave that has to do whatever he tells her to do.
If you fall into either one of these categories then know that this thinking is a very immature Christian way of thinking. That is NOT and I repeat NOT what wives submit to your husband means. A husband and wife relationship is one of the most fulfilling relationships if done properly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a submissive wife but not wanting to be a slave to your husband. The Bible does mention submission as something that should be done in a Christian marriage. But submission does not mean a house servant.
1. What wives submit to your husband is not
- wives submit to your husband does not mean that you are going to be a maid, answering every little call of your husband.
- wives submit to your husband does not mean that you are going to be his sharecropper, indentured servant, sex slave, or any other form of slavery.
- wives submit to your husband does not even mean that you have to agree with every little thing that comes out of his mouth.
- wives submit to your husband does not mean that you lose your own personal identity and trade it in to become what your husband wants you to become. If that is the case then your husband should have married that person and not you.
You are a unique person, not the lady from the movie Coming To America. You know the one at the beginning where the prince was about to get married to his betrothed and the answer to all the prince’s questions was “ Whatever it is that you like.” To the point that she became to jump around and bark on one foot just because he wanted her to. That is NOT submission that is being cruel.
The prince did not like this about her in the movie and men won’t like it about you. No one wants a bobblehead to say “ yes dear” to everything. So get that whole idea out of your head.
A great example of a wife is Esther, click here to read my blog on her, but as a wife, she was instrumental in her purpose, not some slave who sat around waiting for her husband to tell her what to do. Also, check out my video below on this topic and subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
2. What wives submit to your husband is not
It is my personal opinion that no system can be effective if there are too many leaders. Everyone cannot want to be a leader in your household. This leads to utter chaos. Let me explain it in a way that is easy to understand. We have a president who would be equal to your husband.
(Let’s not get into politics of what has or has not gone on with the president this is just an illustration).The president has the senate, congress, and all other types of systems to help him make informed decisions, but the president is still seen as the leader of the nation.
The other government agencies would be the wife. Even though the president is the leader of the nation, he will always take the opinions of the other organization around him into consideration for the good of the people (your household, kids, etc).
This means your husband or future husband should not ignore your opinion and do whatever he wants to do even if it is bad for the family. This is why it is so important to choose a GOOD husband, he will make the decision based on everyone’s needs and not just his own (click here to read my blog on husband how a husband should love their wives).
So one person needs to be the designated head of household and whatever he determines the decision is, as his wife you agree with it. BUT not in the sense that he is just walking around making stupid decisions.
Your husband SHOULD never make a decision that is bad for you or the family, will do you harm, or would make you unhappy. So even though you are submitting to his decisions, it should be no big deal because you should know and trust that he is always making the right decision. Even taking his wife’s opinion into consideration.
So even though he has the ultimate say so, as a wife your opinion is never insignificant, a good husband will consider the feelings and advice of his wife. Just like a president would also consider the opinion of the other government agencies.
Let me pull out a Bible verse to give you a better understanding.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” Ephesians 5: 28-29
Do you see it here? If a man loves you as he loves himself. He should not abuse your submissiveness and use it for his own personal gain.
No good, God-fearing man should do that. Boaz is another great example of how a man treats his wife, and how to love a woman like his own flesh. Click here to read my blog for more on Boaz and Ruth.
And also watch my video on the traits that Boaz had so you can understand more so of what I mean.
A good husband should always treat his wife as himself, and if he does not want to hurt himself then he should not want to hurt his wife.
3. What wives submit to your husband ~ What is my Point
Christian marriage is not all about the woman doing what a husband wants her to do when he wants her to do it, and it is not being a servant that makes her a good wife. A Christian marriage is beyond all of that.
There is a deeper meaning in being a submissive wife that should strengthen the husband and wife relationship not make it a chore. (Also watch my video below when I talk about Queen Esther and her marriage to the King).
Being a woman of God does not mean that God is sitting around wanting you to be a doormat that is stepped on all the time by your husband. Biblical submission in a marriage should not be this dreadful thing you feel that you have to do because doing it will make you a good wife. It goes well beyond that mindset. It is a system that is set up to make the husband and wife relationship more cohesive not cause imbalance.
For married women who have married a selfish man and he does not consider your feelings. As a woman of God the biggest thing you have on your side is God. Go to God about it and pray that God speaks to his heart and changes him. For you single ladies, this is SO important what I am about to say. I do not want you to miss it.
This is why knowing this as a single woman you are at an advantage. The reason being that you have to stop being SO DESPERATE to find a man that you remain objective. When you meet a man and get serious about him. Always look at how he treats you.
If he is disrespectful and treats you like crap now, then he is not going to change when you two get married. As a single woman, you are still free to dump a loser and make the right decision to choose someone that God would choose for you.
Once you understand that a husband and wife relationship is a bond in Christian marriage that works together for the betterment of yourself and for your marriage, the idea of submission will not bother you that much. And your husband would never require you to do something that he wouldn’t want his own flesh to do. Also, check out my last video where I talk more about this topic.
If you know a fellow Christian woman that needs to read this post, don’t be selfish. Share this information with her.
If you are reading this and you are still single then I have a wonderful gift for you. It is my book for Christian single women that you can click here to read or if you are not sure then click here and I will give you the first few chapters for free.
Great Post! I think people get intimidated by the word “submit” So I love you explained everything.
Let me just tell you how much I love this! Too many people – men and women – seem to think that marriage is all about the woman playing the role of ottoman for their husbands.
Good point. A lot of folks misinterpret this saying, and I think you brought up valid ideas and truth!
I couldn’t agree less with every point about leadership in the Christian marriage. It’s ridiculous how many times for our selfish reasons we twist the Bible. Now, I have something tangible to share with my next boyfriend.
This is definitely an interesting topic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Makes more sense when you describe your interpretation.
This often gets so misinterpreted, but you just laid this out so clear. Great post!
Yes being in a relationship is more of a compromise rather than who is the boss or who is always right. I’ll share this to some of my friends.
It was interesting to hear your perspective on this phrase. My husband and I don’t say we have a Christian marriage as neither of us are Christians, but there is a bit of overlap between a couple of the fundamental points of your post and my marriage.
I agree with a lot of your points here. I’ve only been married a little over a year and I still have a lot to learn about submission.
This is such an amazing post. So many misconceptions going around on submission. This was very helpful
I am so loving this blog. This is so interesting. I think every married couple should read this.
This is such great advice. Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean you’re a weak woman at all!
Amen to this post. It seems like this generation is mixed with the concept but it’s far from what they think. Submission is not slavery. Submission in the right way helps build long lasting marriages made up of respect and love.
I’m happy that my husband and I are an equal team; it helps our children see marriage is a partnership, not a dominating type of relationship.
i love how you explain this. i’ve seen others try but they misinterpret so bad
Preach girl preach! I left “submit” out of my wedding vows in case my husband got any ideas about what submit actually means.
Such a double-standard. Treats others how you want to be treated. Nobody owns anybody anything. xo
Oooooo interesting!!!! Glad to now know what the difference is. So many people get it wrong
This was an interesting read! As a Christian, of course I knew that what the Bible speaks talks about several centuries before our age, when women were considered to be a property of the husband, one easily replacable too. But the world changes and new interpretations are of course necessary.
Really love this!!! 100% True I am not religious more in the light. Some people don’t understand it but you say it in way that is understandable.