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I used to hate going out alone as a single woman because I always felt like people were looking at me like I was all lonely and whatnot. And low-key feeling sorry for me.
But guess what? People do not care as much as you think they do and all the things that you think other people are thinking about you are more than likely in your head. That is why I am going to teach you some tips and tricks on how to go out alone as a single woman.
And just think about it like this. There are some pros when you go out by yourself
- You get to meet new people.
- You are more approachable as men feel more open to approaching a woman that is not surrounded by a whole group of people (especially their criticizing girlfriends).
- You get to learn to be less shy by stepping out of the box and learning to be sociable.
So you see there are probably more GOOD things about going out alone than there are bad things. I mean don’t get me wrong. There are some epic fail moments for me as well when I went out alone. Which include.
- Going to a bar/ club and I guess I must have come too early. Because I was the only person in the whole entire club sitting at the bar.
- Going to a club and the club and it was a little on the ratchet side. Not to mention there was no place to sit down and I was left to look lonely in style. I was stuck standing up in the middle of a ratchet club by myself.
- Being seated at a restaurant and after telling them it is only going to be me they sat me at a huge booth by myself or a table by myself dead smack in the middle of the restaurant for all to see.
- Lastly is the look that the hostess gives you after telling her a table for one. You know that I feel sorry for you, you have to eat alone look.
BUT you see I am still living. And those situations only have to be embarrassing if you want them to be. The more I went out alone the more comfortable I became with it. And now when I go out alone I find that I am more likely to meet new people than if I were to go out with a group.
Also, check out my video on what to do when you are not getting approached by men so you can check any behaviors you may be giving off when you go out alone. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
How To Go Out By Yourself #1 Have a backup Plan
When you go out by yourself it can be so hard to find something to do. You do not want to just sit and watch the paint dry on the wall while you are sitting around. That is why you can have a backup plan. Something that would actually keep you engaged while you are going out alone. Failure to have a backup plan when things are going a little slow can have you just sitting there staring into space.
Here are some of my suggested backup plans.
- Bring a book to read.
- Bring your lab top or work so you can look busy.
- Bring a hobby that you wanted to work on, and work on it while you wait.
- Go during happy hour when it is busier and you are more prone to meet new people.
- Have a small drink (not get drunk) to relax you a bit and put you in a more socializing mood.
According to Proof.com, a backup plan can even consist of the following:
If you’re worried about wasting a night out, it might help you psychologically to have a backup plan for when you get bored, when not many people show up to a venue, the atmosphere just isn’t hitting it, etc. Examples of backup plans include going to see some live music at another venue, grabbing dessert somewhere, etc.
How To Go Out By Yourself #2 Start Small
When I first started going out alone the thing that I felt the most comfortable doing was going to the movies. It is dark, you are sitting down the whole time, and there is no pressure to socialize. So if you are going out alone then start small somewhere where it would feel less awkward to be alone.
And as an extra tidbit, go to a movie that you know many people want to see. Arrive maybe 30 minutes early. That way there will still be a crowd trying to see the movie and find their seats AND you can possibly chat it up with someone before the movie starts.
According to Life Hacker Seeing a movie or play by yourself is another way to ease your way into this lifestyle, because regardless of whether you’re a party of one or 17, the entire audience (ideally) watches while sitting in silence. Solo outings can be downright therapeutic.
For example, even making an appointment at a local karaoke” the kind that has individual rooms to rent. Sing your favorite songs at the top of your lungs, to an audience of zero. If you choose an outing where it is just you with no pressure, then you can start choosing more ambitious venues and feel more comfortable with putting yourself out there in more social settings. Because you have already mastered a smaller setting.
How To Go Out By Yourself #3 Don’t Be Afraid To Talk To Strangers
The Kreative Life gives the following advice when you go out by yourself and when talking to strangers. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. Just because you’re on a date with yourself doesn’t mean you can’t talk to anybody else. Mix and mingle with others or just have small talk.
This will allow you to not think about being out alone but will show you that you are a fun and interesting person no matter what situation you’re in. If you don’t know where to begin to start a conversation with others, start at the bar. Most bars have TVs, so watch what is playing.
Either sports will be playing or the news will be on. If you see someone nearby watching the same thing, mention something you just saw. This usually works for starting a conversation. If the person seems disinterested in talking, there is always the bartender. I’ve found that most bartenders genuinely like talking to their patrons.
I personally think that bars and happy hours are the ideal places to start when learning how to go out alone as a single woman. I even said this on my blog on where to meet productive men. Most people at the bar are by themselves too and people at happy hour are typically looking to meet other people. This is why this is can be a very good and less threatening way to go out alone.
How To Go Out By Yourself #4 Get Rid Of The Awkward
When you are going out alone if you start to look awkward and like you are nervous because you are out alone then that is what you are going to look like to other people. Even if you are going out alone and even though you don’t feel it sometimes you just have to own it and pretend like you are confident and comfortable.
According to Lapesoetan, many single women feel uncomfortable when they go out to public places like bars or restaurants and they’re alone. They feel like people are looking at them and that some people are staring at them and thinking, Hm! She’s out on the hunt.
She wants to get a man. The first thing I’ll say to you is: ignore those feelings. Many of the people who see you out wish they had the courage to do what it is that you’re doing so stop the negative talk, believe in yourself and keep doing what it is that you want to do.
And according to Bustle If you’re going to walk in the bar feeling apprehensive and 100 percent certain the night is going to be a flop, then that’s the way it’s going to go. Instead, prior to arriving at the bar get yourself happy about being alone. Do a couple of rituals that are going to make you feel all smiles and excited to mingle.