5 Tips For Contacting An Ex On Social Media Without Embarrassing Yourself

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In this post, I am going to teach you exactly how to reach out to an ex on social media.  Reaching out to an ex can be nerve-wracking but contacting an ex on social media can make it less awkward.  Because let’s face it, social media is really the BEST way to reach out to an old friend or even an ex.  It is the least invasive, easy to find someone, and it can have the least amount of repercussions in case the interactions goes south.

You may want to know how to reach out to someone you haven’t talk to in a while, an ex, how to reach out to an old friend that you hurt, or you may want to know how to reach out to an ex after a falling out. I am going to tell you how to do all of that. Reaching out to an ex and contacting an ex on social media may go better than you think.

But first I want to tell you that most of your concerns or fears associated with reaching out to an ex may be a little unwarranted.  I know it may feel awkward because you do not even know if the person wants to hear from you.  But I can tell you that I have reached out to exes on social media after years of not speaking to them and it has always been positive. Even if you are scared or even nervous, just think of it this way.

The only thing they can do is not respond to your message, ignore you, or say something mean to you. I mean literally what is the worst that can happen? It is through the internet after all. So now that I have alleviated some of your fear or at least I hope I have.  Let’s get into it.

Contacting An Ex On Social Media #1 When Things Didn’t End Well And It Was Your Fault

Reaching out to an ex can be hard if you did something to them that made them mad.  This is why I am going to get into how to reach out to an ex even if things did not end well. If someone has an active restraining order against you then it may be wise to choose not to reach out to that person.

Even if your situation is not that bad you really need to figure out if the person is going to go crazy when they hear from you and it is going to be a negative interaction over a good one. Some questions that can help you determine that answer are.

  • Did you do something that is unforgivable? Did you sleep with and/or marry their best friend.
  • Did you steal money from them or cause damage to their property? 
  • Did you get into a psychical altercation with them?

Of course, it is not possible to name every single hurt that you may have caused but you get where I am coming from. If you caused hurt that is massive then you may want to stay away. If you still want to reach out to them then you can ask yourself these questions.

  • How much time has passed?
  • How close were you two? 

If years have passed and you were really close then reaching out to an ex on social media can be easy.  It is possible that they are over it.  If you hurt your ex in such a way that is considered minor like hurting their feelings or just having a verbal argument, then I would also say that it is safe to reach out to them on social media.

And when you do, do not mention the past or what has happened. Not at first. Try to at least say hello and ask them how they have been to test the waters.  When the time is appropriate then you can apologize for the past or the pain you have caused them.  But do not allow for your first message to be a pouring of your heart, what has happened, and a rehash of how you have hurt them.

contacting an ex reaching out to an ex how to reach out to an ex

#2 Contacting An Ex On Social Media ~ Do not be so thirsty

Just remember to keep the conversation light and casual.  Do not tell them how much you missed them, you love them, and have stalked their Facebook profile for the last 5 years to see what they were doing.  That is scary.  Especially if they have not talked to or seen you in a few years, they do not want to get sexual innuendos in their DMs (I do not care how popular it is).

If you come across too thirsty and they are not interested in hearing from you the only thing you are going to do is embarrass yourself. Once again just be NORMAL. That is all it requires and even acknowledge the fact that it has been a while since you two have talked.  If you are interested in them romantically, let the conversation flow, then you can send MILD flirtatious message. Just so that we are clear. No naked photos or asking them to send naked photos.

Contacting An Ex Through Social Media #3 Keep it Casual

Reaching out to an ex on social media remember to short and sweet.  Say hello and a brief explanation of what you wanted.  Skip writing the full-length dissertation when you reach out to someone.  No one wants to read a five-page long essay if they have not heard from you in a while. Keep it light and let the conversation grow from there.

Also do not try to sell anyone anything.  The worst thing when you reach out to an ex on social media is when they want you to join their pyramid scene business or invest in something.  That is so tacky.  If you go about it this way you are probably never going to get a response. Just be normal and have a normal conversation. Asking someone how they have been is a great way to start out a conversation.

Contacting An Ex On Social Media #4 Don’t Take It Personal If They Don’t Answer

Even though I am telling you how to reach out to an ex on social media I also want you to remember if your ex does not contact you back, then do not take it personally.  There may be several reasons why they did not contact you back.  Some reasons may have to do with you and some may not have to do with you.  Whatever the reason, do not take it personally.  You went this long without talking to the person, so I think you will be fine. Do not keep emailing them, Face booking them, and then going into their DM in their Instagram feed.

Remember tip #2 don’t be thirsty. If you reach out to someone and they do not respond you can wait a few days or weeks and ask them if they got your last message. If they still do not respond them let it go. They may just not want to talk to you or they may not check their message every day.

And when they do check it the last thing you want them to see is 100 messages from you when they did not even see your original message. So send an original, wait a decent amount of time, and then send a follow-up message. If they do not respond then leave it at that.

How To Reach Out To An Ex On Social Media Ask Yourself #5 What Purpose Do They Serve

It is not that you are using people but you need to know what the reason is you are reaching out to someone and where this would go.  It may be innocent and you just may want to reach out to see how someone is doing.  But if you are reaching out to a married man, knowing that he still likes you then you should not reach out. In fact, don’t reach out at all if they are married.

Nothing good can come from that situation. If you want to reach out to be noisy, be messy, or to confirm the latest rumor that you heard about them, then do not reach out. People can see recognize your messiness from a mile away. So before you reach out question the purpose it would serve and where you see everything going if you were to reconnect with this person. And make sure your motivations are pure, and you are not reaching out to be messy or cause problems.

If you know someone that is thinking about reaching out to an ex on social media and is unsure how to do it then feel free to share this post with them.

Also, single women did you know that I have a book that is specifically for you! You can click here to buy. BUT I know that you are going to enjoy it so much that I want to give you the first chapter for free.  Click here to get it or click the picture below.



  1. This is such a motivator. I always forget how important reaching out to friends is when you’re single and even more when you’re not single! Thanks for sharing this, Sophia!

  2. It’s always that first step to reaching out that’s the hardest. But then you remember that the person on the other end might also be thinking the same thing. Knowing that always helps me when reaching out to others. 🙂 Keep the challenges coming!

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