To listen to the blog post “Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single? 7 Ways To Cope ” over reading it then click the play button below.
Single, lonely, and tired of being single can be a common theme among so many single women. You see your friends traveling around with their significant others, you are bridesmaids in yet another wedding, or another engaged Facebook status is posted from one of your friends. It is very easy to feel like you are never going to be in a relationship, you think the world sucks, and that you are somehow destined to be alone.
If you read my blog about living your best life as a single woman one thing that I warn single women about is becoming bitter because of their single status. Or getting sucked into the singleness black hole, where everything seems hopeless, dark, and lonely.
Because if you sit in that space too long then this is what you will always feel like. Therefore, in this post, I am going to tell you how to NOT be single and lonely. With that being said, let’s go ahead and get into it shall we. BUT first, check out my video below for more tips on what you can do when you are single and lonely.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #1 Remember That You Are Complete On Your Own
I am going to say something that as a single woman it is going to make you cringe. The main reason why people feel single and lonely is that they are TOO dependent on a man to cure their loneliness and all the other negative emotions they feel when they are single. The fact of the matter is that there are plenty of married people or people in relationships that still feel lonely. So a relationship is not going to be the magic pill to anything.
In my book for single women (click here to buy), I said the following:
If you are a single woman sitting here, waiting for someone to come, rescue you, and attach himself to the other half of your body so that he can complete you, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. That is too much of a responsibility for one person. And the same can go if another person is asking you to complete him. Do you really want the sole responsibility of making someone else whole? If that is the case, then you are being co-dependent. And that is not healthy. You would literally have to pour into that person day in and day out and the moment that you do not have anything else to give or you need some time for yourself, then everything is going to hit the fan because he NEEDS you and you NEED him and no one has any sort of self-regulation. As a mental health person, I may have used a word you are not familiar with so let me define self-regulation. In short, self-regulation means that YOU and only YOU have the ability to control yourself, your behavior, and your actions without the influence of other people. Depending on someone else to complete you is the opposite of having good self-regulation.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ What’s my point
My point is that you do have a right to feel lonely BUT do not base your loneliness on if you are in a relationship or not. Remember that black hole I spoke about earlier about singleness.
If you do not find some sort of self-regulation about your singleness then you will always sink into the black hole whenever you break up with someone, whenever your partner is not giving you want you want, or whenever you feel like your man is not spending enough time with you. And the reason why you will do that is that you are putting too much weight on other people to make you less lonely and that is not their job.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #2 Hang Out With Someone Else
Even if you are not in a relationship there are billions of people in this world that you can meet, hang out with, and make friends with. Who says that a relationship has to be the reason why you do not feel lonely. I actually have some amazing blogs for single women on how they can meet people.
I highly recommend that you just go out more, put yourself out there, and be proactive in meeting other people. Even if it means that you have to start going out by yourself. Check out my following blogs that will give you some amazing tips.
- 5 Extremely Simple Yet Practical Ways To Make Friends Online
- 5 Extremely Easy Ways On How To Meet New People As An Introvert
- 10 Easy Ways Women Can Meet Single Men In Their 30s
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #3 Hang Out With Yourself
When you are single, lonely, and tired of being single there are days where you do not have anyone to hang out with and you are not meeting people then why not enjoy your own company. And there are several ways that you can do that. You can travel on your own, go out on your own, and just do something with yourself.
If your mind is occupied with what you are doing then your mind should not be occupied with how lonely you feel. Check out some of my blogs below for tips on how to hang out with yourself and also check out my video down below on where to meet good quality men.
- How To Go Out Alone As A Single Woman Without Feeling Awkward About It
- Discover The World With These Inexpensive Solo Travel Ideas
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #4 Remember things you have accomplished.
This is a big one for me and it reminds me to keep things in perspective. If you are feeling single and lonely then oftentimes that will take over your whole identity. No longer are you a successful woman, no longer are you the woman who graduated from college, and no longer are you the woman who started a business.
You are just this single and lonely woman that is tired of being single who doesn’t have a man and somehow that overshadows everything else. Realize that you were not put on this Earth for the sole purpose of a relationship. Reflect on your accomplishments and your life and be grateful for what you do have. If you do not have any accomplishments then now would be a good time to get some.
You can go back to school or do something with yourself so that you don’t feel like you are just sitting around, wasting away, doing nothing. The more things you do to uplift yourself, the less time you have to feel lonely. Because you will be too busy chasing your purpose. Also, check out my video on how to actively wait and not just sit there like a bump on a log.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #5 Get Close To God
Yes I know this sounds so cliche but you are never alone when you have God. When I tell people that I talk to God like He is my best friend people are like huh. But it’s true. Talking to God and even reading the Bible is a lot more interesting than you think, especially if you get a version that is easy to understand (click here for how to start reading the Bible).
Just remember, that there is nothing new under the sun, so no matter how lonely you are and what you are going through, there is someone in the Bible somewhere that has gone through the same thing. Are you a woman jumping from one relationship to another, then you may be the Samaritan woman (click here to read my blog on her)?
If you are a single woman who wants to be a queen and is waiting for her king, then you may be like Esther (see my blog here). Are you a single woman going through a hard time waiting for your Boaz? Then you may be Ruth (see my blog here on her). No matter what your singleness story is, there is someone you can relate to in the Bible.
- The Book of Esther
- The Book of Ruth
- The story Jacob and Rachel
- The Story Rebecca and Isaac.
Know that with God, as a Christian woman (single or not) you are never alone (read my blog here on that). God is always with you and He knows you better than you know yourself. So you can always talk to Him about your troubles, your fears, and everything in between. Know that God will make you feel better about your loneliness and whatever else you are going through.
When reading the Bible you are always reminded that God orders your steps. In each of these stories, it shows how God was working behind the scenes, even though the bad times, to orchestrate something great. And it was through the bad times that God allowed for each person to step into their destiny. Esther met the King, Ruth Met Boaz, and Jacob met Rachel. So no matter how lonely you feel, remember God is still in control of everything.
You can even get to the point where you have a date with God. Have a Netflix and Chill night with God, dinner, candles, and the whole nine. Before you say that is a little crazy or far-fetched. TRY IT FIRST. And see how your loneliness mentality starts to shift.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single~ #6 Read something
Click here to read my recommendation on books that all women should read, especially when they find themselves getting dragged in relationships time and time again. I remember when I felt single and lonely it would bring me so much comfort reading other people’s stories and hearing how things worked for them. It is a reminder that no matter what season you are in there is a plan for you yet and there is a wonderful relationship in store for you as well.
Single, Lonely & Tired Of Being Single ~ #7 Journal
When you are lonely write how you feel down and then in a year or two come back and read it and you will see how extra you were being. PERSPECTIVE is everything. Whenever I write in my journal and get out all of my emotions I just automatically feel 10 times better.
If you are lonely then write about it, if you are frustrated then write about it, then when you read it you can have some reflection. I can recall some of my entries from the past were so excessive, that I thought the world was over. But the world was not over, really the things I was worried about were no big deal.
The loneliness I was worried about became no big deal. The men that dumped me that I was worried about became no big deal. Time does heal all wounds. You can check out my video below when I suffered from depression and was reflecting back on some of my journal entries.
That is why important to always write is down what is going on in your life so that when you are in a better place you can see that everything gets better with time. And most importantly writing is a way to release your feelings and what you are going through into the world and giving yourself permission to just let go.
If you know a fellow single woman who is feeling lonely then go ahead and share this post with her.