6 Classy Ways To Handle Judgmental Christians

To listen to the post “6 Classy Ways To Handle Judgmental Christians” over reading it just click the play button below. 

Are you tired of judgmental Christians always judging you or always having this whole attitude like they are superior or godlier than you? Church people who are judgmental Christians are becoming all too common and are giving Christians a bad name.

And I would like to argue that “church people” who sit around judging people hold the belief that God has somehow given them authority to pass judgment on other people and this thought process is SEVERELY misguided. The only way we should judge people is based on the type of fruit they produce (if that confuses you then read my blog here).

It is okay to try to help guide people but this whole bullying “holier than thou” Christian mentality that so many Christian people have has to stop. Because they are driving people AWAY from God and they are giving people the WRONG perception of being Christian. And that is the exact opposite of what we should be doing as Christians AND the exact opposite of what Jesus himself was about. Which you can also watch my video down below where I talk more about this and judgemental Christians.

I am a Christian and I too sometimes wonder, “Why are Christians so judgmental?” and there have been times that I have been left feeling rejected and judged by the church. Especially with me being a single mom and all. I did a piece on another single mom where she too felt like she was being judge by the church (which you can read that blog post here) and stuff like that just breaks my heart.  It is like the church people forget one of the most prevalent events that have to do with Jesus when he saved an adulterer from being stoned to death. And Jesus wrote in the sand:

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”  And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground.  But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you John 8: 7-11

In other words, everyone is jacked up, we all have a past, and we have all sinned. Therefore no matter how high and mighty some Christians think they are, they are still imperfect and judgmental church members are not supposed to be judging you. Only Jesus can do that.

So if you are tired of judgemental Christians and heck even judgemental people and feeling like a heathen every time you step into the church because people always have something to say about what you are wearing, how you look, what you say, your past, and who you are dating; I am going to tell you how to deal with these “church folks” the right way. Meaning not to go crazy in the church sprinkling holy water on people calling them the devil.

That is too far. But the way in which God would want you to deal with them according to the Bible. I also encourage you to check out my video on the woman God wants you to be below.  I think it is women who are so guilty of judging each other in the church and when you learn about the type of woman God wants you to be you will know how to deal with them and you will also have a better understanding of how what they are doing is wrong.  Plus don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.  Now let’s get into the post. You ready, let’s get into it, shall we?

Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People 1. ~The Church is Not A Building BUT people.

A  lot of church people get on their high horses because they have all these high and mighty positions in the church or they know the pastor’s wife and they think that gives them the right to judge other people. I think more people get off on worshiping the building and what church they go to than the actual church the way God intended it to be. When the church has nothing to do with a building.

You can go to a MEGA church and think that your church is the best, but church is not a competition and God sees us in the church as the same. I do not care if they have some high and mighty deacon and first lady title, they are still equal to each and every one of us that are apart of the church. And that wordy title means nothing to God but it is associated with that building in which a PART (not all) of God’s church attends.

Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it. 1 Corinthians 12:27

  • What this means when dealing with judgemental Christians:  That as Christians we are ALL in the body of Christ. Couple that with the verse below and you will see that Christ is the head of the body AKA the church. Meaning the church is not a building but people.

He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. Colossians 1:18

Meaning that you are equal to the same people judging you no matter who they are, how long they have been Christian, and no matter what position they hold in the church. That also means that the building that they hold service in, is just a building and is not representative of the entire church.

And on any given day you can choose to have church or go to another church wherever you want and it still is “church” as long as it has God’s people in it. You do not have to be around certain Christian people that you don’t like or don’t feel comfortable with because you feel that church is the best. Just go where you are accepted. I talk about this more in detail in my video below.

Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People 2. ~ Go For God and Not For People

Let me start this one off with a true story. I once met a woman who stopped believing in God and when I asked her why she said because people in the church were mean to her and judged her.  In all honestly, I was so confused by this. I mean even if she chose to stop going to church why stop believing in God. Because God is not the church and even if someone is Christian they still are not the mouthpiece for God.

So why take out your frustrations on what people did to you (ones that are imperfect) on God? Literally, you have sacrifice your relationship and your entire belief system on what people have said to you. And in my opinion that is a big risk to take.

If you read the New Testament then you should know that it was the Jews and the “RELIGIOUS” Jews at that, that did not like Jesus and was responsible for having him crucified. Their mistake is that they confused their relationship with their religion and they are not the same thing. Religion is more of the study and the relationship is actually knowing God. If you have a relationship with God then you would not stop believing in God based on what people did to you, no matter how Godly they claim to be.

 The Pharisees and the teachers of the Law are experts in the Law of Moses.  So obey everything they teach you, but don’t do as they do. After all, they say one thing and do something else. Matthew 23: 2-3

You Pharisees and teachers of the Law of Moses are in for trouble! You’re nothing but show-offs. You lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. You won’t go in yourselves, and you keep others from going in. Matthew 23:13-14

You see a lot of these church people are like these Pharisees. They are quoting the Bible, judging you and trying to show off how religious they are by condoning you for what THEY think you have done. Which is why you have to realize that you are a Christian and you believe in Jesus and you are in the body of Christ. That is already a done deal and don’t get so tired of these church folks that they cost you the most important relationship that you have. And that is with God.

3. Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People ~ Remember God is your Judge Not Them

But God is the Judge; He puts down one and exalts another. Psalm 75:7

  • When dealing with  judgemental Christians and judgemental people remember ~ God is your judge, not people. And in the same way that they are putting you down God can choose to put them down and exalt you. He is the ultimate end all be all and he has the final say.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-3

Just know that the more that other people judge you the more they are allowing themselves to be judged by God. And since we know none of them are perfect, God will put the same amount of scrutiny and unrealistic expectations that they judge you with back on them.  I know what it is like to wonder why Christians are judging you and then you start to wonder why God does not punish them for it.

At the end of the day, when God is going to punish them should not be your concern.  For every wrongdoing we commit against anyone, God is going to judge us in this life or the next. So just take heart in that they will get whatever is coming to them good or bad if what in fact they are doing is wrong.

And know that just because they are judging you, does not give you a licensed to come back and judge them or wish for God to hurry up and get his “get back” on them for the way that they are treating you in the church.  Because then you become the judgmental one.

4. Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People ~ Are the Church people right?

Judgmental Christians feel that it is their job to mentor the younger women in the church and they often get it from this verse below:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women. Titus 2:3

BUT there is a fine line between helping and just coming across as being judgmental. And that is something that I want you to determine. For example, if your dress is too short in church and a church member gives you a shawl to put over your legs so that people won’t see between your legs while you are sitting down that is not being judgmental that is being helpful.

NOW, if the same actions occur and the same church members make a big deal about then goes up to the altar to give an impromptu sermon about women and their legs in church and THEN tries to hold you after church and tell you that you are posessed with a demon and starts calling you a whore. That is judgmental. I mean it may be a bit extreme as I hope no one would do that but you get it.

One is to be helpful and to teach you as a young woman to be mindful of your dress length in church and the other is to cause shame and embarrassment. Not all Christians have bad judgmental intentions but some do. And you need to be able to tell the difference.

As you grow in your Christian walk, understand that God will convict you on the things you are doing wrong and with His grace, direction, and guidance you will start to change your ways.  That is what being a Christian is all about.  It is not okay to go and do crazy things over and over again that you know is wrong, and then plead the blood of Jesus.  God is still your judge, but know that He may not judge you favorably if you are openly sinning in God’s face and calling it okay.

He told the adulterous women “Go and sin no more.” That should always be your goal.  And if you are the cause for most of the drama in the church, it is going to be hard for people not to judge you; because of what you are doing.  So do not put yourself in that position to allow people to judge you in that way.  If you know for a fact that you are working on the things that God has put on your heart.  Then do not worry about what other people say, it is between you and God and He will be your judge in the end.  Also check out my video below where I talk more about how to deal with judgemental Christians.

5. Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People ~ Are They Trying To Help You Or Hurt You?

Before you get all up and arms and claim that you are facing judgmental Christians, sometimes people are not trying to judge you but they are trying to give you advice and are trying to help you.  You need to be able to discern which one is which.  Just because someone may say something that you do not like, does not mean that they are trying to talk about you or make you feel bad about yourself.  Sometimes they really are coming from a good place and trying to help you in your Christian walk.

6. Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People ~ Just because they are crazy church people don’t mean you have to be.

I know that it is hard to be nice to someone when they are not nice to you, but that is what God requires us to do. I  mean think about it, how crazy would it be if you are pointing your finger at another Christian for being judgmental and you yourself are judgmental or doing something that is not Christlike. You cannot ask for someone else to be something that you are not.

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9

If you retaliate against those who judge you, then how is that helping other Christians? Anyone can repay evil for evil but it takes a bigger person to be Christian and to turn the other cheek and be nice when they don’t want to.  If other Christians do not know how to be Godly, then you lead by example and show them how to be Godly.

Case in point:

When people tend to look at me the judge me. I look young, I am hip, and I am a single mom and so for SOME reason, they think that I am some Jezebel Heathen when really that is far from the case. So whenever someone tries to come at me, judge me, make me feel inadequate due to how I look or having a child out of wedlock I just go more above and beyond to behave Christian to show them what a real Christian is right in front of their face and by showing them who God really is through who you are, not through your mouth and trying to tell them you are more Christian than them, that is when you really put their judgmental ways to shame.

7. Judgmental Christians & Judgemental People ~  Is it You?

Oh yes, I am going to talk about it.  Often times you may be the reason why you feel people are judging you.  You may be doing all sort of evil and then when it comes back around to you, you want to blame other people and play the victim. You cannot poke the bear and then when it attacks you, you pretend that you did nothing wrong.  You cannot keep doing something crazy and when people call you out on your obvious crazy behavior you are saying they are judging you when really they are just recapping the actions that you have done.

If you are tired of church people judging you then just know that you can only control yourself and not other people. Yeah, it sucks that other Christians are judging you and they should not be doing it but if it was not other Christians then it would be other people of the world who were not Christians or someone else. We are always being judged so grow thick skin and don’t let their actions take your eyes or your focus off God.

For all you Christians out there I have something for you. It is my The Ultimate Law of Attraction and Christianity Manifestation Guide that is your path to having higher self-esteem, more prosperity, faith, overcoming hardships and more.  Just click here or the picture below to learn more about it.


  1. I’m not judging… but there are so many typographical errors in this article that, although the message is good, it’s difficult to share amongst others.
    I think you may want to proofread before you publish.
    It will come across much more logical and factual.

    • Thank you for letting me know I always appreciate my spell checkers, I will go through the article again. Sorry you felt you could not share but aside from that I really hope that you got some type of encouragement from what you read. Maybe it was not meant for you to share but only for what you needed to get in the moment. And I did hope you got something from it. Feel free to re read the article once I go through it again and perhaps it will make more sense to you.

      • I love it thank you. I struggle with all of this at our church. I grew up being taught that live and let live. I recently took a kitchenmanager job at a private Christian school my daughter attends and work with the worship pastors wife. They grew up baptist and I get so tired of hearing how our new (young and hip) headmaster is hosting cheerleading clinics or considering allowing the kids to dance. One time before working with her I worked at a restaurant and served her and her husband and they called me to the table to gossip about a table of gay and transgender people. I just thought wow this is why people hate christians and don’t want to go to church. Now working with her I don’t want to to buy the headmaster is trying to build a relationship with them 🙄 why I’m not sure but I’m trying to just go head deep in verse and get these negative thoughts out of my head. At the church I attend I notice the regulars will really treat you well and accept you if you frequently go, but if you have breaks or aren’t attending regularly their whole demeanor changes. So any good advice there would be appreciated thanks!

        • I believe in leading by example. You just be the Christian that you know how to do be. I would not go around announcing it of course or telling them about themselves but you would be shocked by how you simply behaving like a Christian can actually change other people. If she chooses to gossip about others I would simply excuse myself. We can’t change other people we can just show them by our own actions how one is supposed to act as a Christian. And hope it rubs off on them. If it does not then that is their problem. Perhaps God put you there to be an example. I know I worked for plenty of Christian organizations and they behaved less than Christian. But while I was there and when I left no one could say that about me and some people even changed by watching me and some didn’t. You can only do what you can do and as long as you do your part in the midst of that environment I believe that God will bless you for it.

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