To listen to the blog post “7 Tips For Dating A Coworker & Keeping It Professional” over reading it just click the play button below.
Don’t believe the hype in thinking that dating a coworker always has to be a bad thing. In full disclosure I have dated plenty of coworkers (sometimes things have went good and sometimes bad and I am still standing). Some people think that dating in the workplace is bad and that you should not poop where you eat. However, I disagree. I think that there are many people who have started dating in the workplace and ended up getting married. I actually know quite a few. In fact, if done responsbily it can be an ideal place to actually get to know and meet someone since you spend so much time there anyway.
This is NOT I repeat NOT to say that you just find a job to date and be passed around in the workplace. The last thing you want to do is develop a reputation for just being with every man in the office or worse coming onto every man in the office and getting a sexual harassment complaint on you.
Dating in the workplace should NOT just be a reckless free for all, there are certain guidelines you need to follow to keep your reputation untarnished and your job a drama free workzone. If dating a coworker is something that you want to do then do it BUT always remember that you are at work and to have boundaries because even if the relationship does not work, you still have to work there. And the last thing you want to do is to be scared to come to work because your dating in the workplace situation went left and now everyone is laughing behind your back.
1. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Remember Be Professional
Just because you are dating a coworker does not mean that you need to put your love on display. No one wants to see you kissing, hugging, or touching each other’s anatomy. No bringing your couple drama to work and arguing about things that should be kept private. This is not high school.
You are in a work environment and regardless of if you are dating someone or not, you should always be professional in the environment and professional toward the person you are dating. And even though it may sound really kinky and you may have seen it on a movie please DO NOT have sex at work. It sounds fun in theory until someone hears about it or walks in on you and you get caught. Or you break up and you run the risk of him telling everyone. NOT so fun any more huh?
Because you being too open with your boyfriend in the workplace can offend other people and maybe even offend yourself and compromise who you are as an employee, keep it professional. You do not want anyone to see you less than a career woman or less professional because your boyfriend feels the need to play house in the office. Just because you are dating someone at work does not mean that everyone wants to see or care about your relationship. So keep your relationship out of work and always maintain professional boundaries at work and in front of other people.
2. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Keep it a Secret
Unless you are engaged or on your way to getting there, do not tell people who you are dating at work. It is no one’s business and if it does not work out it can backfire on you. After you break up people are going to wonder what happened and you will hear all of these whispers behind you back with speculation of what went wrong in your relationship.
It is really hard for people to do that if they do not even know there was a relationship going on in the first place. And besides, what if another guy comes in at your job and you want to date him after a previously dating someone else in the workplace? Then you will be known as the woman who dates every man on the job. Just keep who you are dating private, your dating details private, and also follow rule number one. Keep it professional so no one even suspects that you are dating.
Even if you have best friends at work and you tell them everything about all of your other out of work boyfriends that needs to stop now that you are dating a coworker. Because now they know you and they know him and that is a recipe for alot of drama and gossip. Save yourself some heartache and keep your own personal business to yourself. Also, check out my video below on how to be on your grown woman status for more tips on how to keep it classy. Don’t forget to subcribe to my channel by clicking here.
3. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Never Date Your Subordinates or your Boss
A lot of places of employment have very strict rules about fraternization. Meaning that you cannot have a friendship let alone a relationship with people under you, people you supervise, or your boss. Even if your job does not have this rule don’t do it.
It can lead to all sorts of trouble. If you are dating a coworker that you supervise, you do not want to be seen as giving a subordinate a promotion, additional money, or showing them favoritism on the job. And even if you do not intentionally set out to do it, it is something that could very well happen because in relationships it is very easy for us to show favoritism to people that we like. And even if you have strong bounderies and do not do it, other people will say that you are doing it anyway. Just don’t give people a reason, you know what I mean.
And if by chance you break up, this subordinate will have all sorts of leverage over you about stuff you talked about while you two were together. The same can be said for dating someone over you. You do not want to be accused of sleeping your way to the top. Either date a coworker who is your equal OR if they are considered to be in a position above or below you then they need to be in another department all together. AND have no ability to give you a promotion or can effect your job in any way shape or form.
I hope that you dating a coworker works out forever BUT in case it doesn’t you have to remember this. You are a professional and you need your job after your relationship ends, or at least until you can find a new job so you do not want to put stress on yourself by dating anyone that can impact your position in either a positive or a negative way. And if you do, then it should be temporary while you or he is looking for another job.
4. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Don’t sleep around or have hooks ups
I am not a fan of hook ups any way (see my blog here, here, and here). The last type of reputation that you want to get is the co-worker that has been passed around from man to man. If you are going to date a coworker then date a coworker, not hook around and sleep with then move on to the next.
You date to see if you can be in a relationship and if it moves to a relationship then great, if no then you just dated not had sex with. Remember, the coworker that you are dating has no allegiance to you whatsoever.
Meaning that he has no issue passing your name around, what you did to him in the bed room, or whether your sex was good or bad. And as you walk by in the office men will just be eyeing you down looking at you like you have no clothes on because they have been told every intimate detail of your body parts.
That is why it is important not to hook up or have any type of casual sexual relationship when you are dating in the workplace (dating is not a relationship see my blog here). In fact, I encourage you to go on the side of caution and wait a long time before doing anything physical. You want to measure his character. Does he just want to sleep with women in the office or if after a date he is going to spread your business around.
5. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Observe Before Dating the coworker
The great thing about dating someone in the workplace is that you get to observe who they really are as a person. If you like them, do not just go up to him and let it all hang out. The guy works where you work so you know that you are going to see him again. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow and observing the type of man he is. Interacting with him on a friendly level in the office first.
We all know that when we go to work some people have their own reputation. Some people are seen as lazy, some men are seen as womanizers, and some people are known as gossipers. When you decide to date a man at work figure out his reputation before even going on the date. And this is actually a pro of dating a coworker you actually get to find out alot more about him over dating a stranger.
If he has a reputation of sleeping with Suzy the secretary, Amy the accountant, and Becky the bookkeeper and then sharing their relationship all over the office, then run from someone like that. You are just going to be another woman that he smashed in the office and wants to brag about. If he is someone who is lazy and unmotivated at work, then once again you do not have to date him to see that he will probably not make the best boyfriend he cannot even do a good job at work.
Working with someone allows you to have an inside track on who they are as a person and even observe and see what other people are saying about this person. That way you can make a real determination on if you want to seriously date them by already determining what type of man they are and their work ethic.
7. How To Date Coworker, Dating In The Workplace, Dating A Coworker ~ Remember If you Break Up
I know that women can often lead with emotion when it comes to break ups and these can be magnified when you broke up with someone you have to see every day at work. But no matter how you feel put on your big girl underwear and do not lose control of yourself. It will not make him look bad it will make you look bad.
Even if he is in the wrong and bashing you around the office. Do not entertain it. Do not even acknowledge that anything has happen and if someone ask you about it, just give them a blank stare and pretend you do not know what they are talking about. Come to work every day looking gorgeous and normal. Not like a crazy stalker that is unable to let go of the coworker they were dating.
Do not come looking a mess, do not have break downs at work, do not bash him to your co-workers or around the office, and do not confront him at work. In fact just stay away from him and pretend he does not exist. If you must interact with him ensure that your interaction is very professional and as short and to the point as possible. Do not let yourself fall apart and ruin your own professional reputation because something did not work out around the office. Remain unbothered about it, even if you are bothered your demeanor should say otherwise. This is your money and the way you pay your bills we are talking about.
If you just can’t cope with after dating a coworker then find another job and remember when you move to your new job, NEVER ever date another coworker again. Perhaps its just not for you.