Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism? 9 Telltale Signs

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I am going to talk about why you need Jesus and not sex. Because many women are using sex to replace Jesus. And don’t worry I was one of those women which I talk about in my video below in my struggle with lust.

And I know that you are probably rolling your eyes to the back of your head telling me that I don’t know what I am talking about and that sex is a necessity. Your next thought may be that something is wrong with me and that I do not enjoy sex or something and that is why I can talk like this because I don’t understand.

That is SO NOT TRUE. I enjoy sex very much so, but that does not keep me from being celibate as I have been for MANY years. I use to be where you are, wanting sex, needing sex, not being able to control my flesh and falling into sexual desires AND thinking this was normal. But then guess what? I realized that did not get me anywhere.

None of the men I had sex with I am married to today, they are not controlling my air supply or my water, and therefore I do not NEED sex. You can read why I became celibate here but the only thing it was getting me was men who JUST wanted to have sex with me and nothing else.

So instead of chasing after sex I decided to chase after Jesus and guess what? He ain’t half bad. Which is why I am going to you exactly why you need to chase Jesus, not sex, not men, not lust, none of that and I am going to tell you exactly why. But before we get into it be sure to check out my video below.

1. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ You Need Jesus and not sex Because He Can Fill That Empty Space.

I actually wrote about this specific topic in my “Samaritan Woman” blog. And I also wrote this in my book specifically for Christian single women which you can click here to buy or you can click the picture below to get the first chapter free.Christian single women

Excerpt from the book:

I am convinced that the longing most people feel for wanting to be complete is actually a longing for God (Psalm 63:1). But instead of single women realizing this longing for God, they want to use an actual man to fill that void.

Take, for example, the Samaritan woman.

He [Jesus] told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.” John 4:16-18 (NIV)

The Samaritan woman was looking for someone to complete her because she felt incomplete and she thought that jumping from man to man would do it for her. It started with her being married and now she just settled for shacking up. After all, whoever she was with was a man and a man was better than nothing? Right? WRONG! You have not been listening. Let’s take the next verse.

If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?” John 4:10-11 (NIV)

Jesus was telling her that He is the water that she has been looking for, He is the One that can complete her, and she did not need to go from man to man trying to look for something that cannot be found in man.

3. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ What’s my point?

My point is that the Samaritan woman is so many women out there today. Going from man to man, having sex with everyone because we are in this whole hookup culture mentality, and then you wonder why when you go home at night you are left feeling depressed or like something is missing. If you have low self-esteem, are depressed, or are lonely don’t think that having sex is going to change that.

You may not feel lonely at the moment while you are doing it but these emotions will always return once the high of having sex ends because you have not dealt with the main issue and that you feel empty. Sex is a short term fix because like the Samaritan woman sex is just masking the issue not fixing the issue and you need Jesus for that.

4. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ You Need Jesus and not sex Because You Are Allowing People Demons To Just Be In Your Body

Okay, so demons may be a strong word BUT I will use the world soul tie. A soul tie is a linkage in the soul realm between two people. It links their souls together, which can bring forth both beneficial results and negative results (source).

What that really means is that while you have sex you are not just exchanging bodily fluids, it is not just something that feels good, but it is also a spiritual exchange. And when you are just doing it with any and everybody their issues are coming into you and if you already have issues then the ones you have will be intensified.

And if you don’t have any issues then you may get some because the other person has demons, the people they have had sex with or are having sex with have demons that can transfer on to you. And the more times you have sex with someone, the more people you have sex with means the more of these soul ties you accumulate. So let’s say you think I am sounding like a crazy person with all this demon talk. Let’s get scientific then.

Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism

5. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ The science behind soul ties

When we have a sexual experience, our brains produce dopamine, the same chemical that feeds a gambling addiction, your chocolate cravings and the junkie’s need for another fix. Dopamine is often described as the “feel good” chemical of the brain and it plays a major role in our lives (good and bad). You see, our bodies don’t care if it’s cocaine, a cupcake or a sexual experience – dopamine will be produced and it will bind us.

Soul ties are like super glue. If you’ve had sexual encounters outside of marriage there is most likely a lingering soul tie that needs to be dealt with otherwise you’ll forever be plagued with thoughts, feelings and even actions that are unwanted. Although pleasure is not associated with abuse, our brains still produce chemical reactions and our soul can still be tied to someone who has abused us. (Source).  You can also watch my video below on soul ties.

6. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ What’s my point?

As I spoke about in my “people were not mean for casual sex” blog which you can read here, people seem to think that we can all be one, sleep with each other, have no strings attached, and then we can go around and be happy functionally human beings. When that is not the case. I do not care if you are in a friends with benefits situation or just going around hooking up with random people because it’s fun for you.

It is not fun, and you need to stop telling yourself that, you are damaging yourself in the process. And having soul ties with someone can trick you into thinking that you are in love when the person actually treats you like crap and you are in lust. See my blog here on knowing the difference between love and lust.

7. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ You Need Jesus not sex because you are allowing your flesh to control you.

Lust and having sex with everyone is a works of the flesh (which I wrote about in my blog here). In fact, In Devon Franklin’s book “The Truth About Men” which you can buy through my affiliate link here. He talks extensively about the flesh.

In this book, he was talking about how men desire for lust, how much CONTROL it can have over them, and the dangers of not being able to get a grip on it. But it can also be applied to females. When you are ruled by having to have sex, needing sex, or wanting have sex then you are ruled by lust. Click here to see on how lust develops. And nothing should have that much power of you in the sense that you cannot control it. Let me tell you a story.

8. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ Case in point: Me

In my blog “Resist the devil and he will flee” I spoke about when I struggled with lust. That is why in my opening paragraph I told you I knew exactly how you felt. There was a time that I thought I could not live without sex and could not find a good enough reason why I would want to. I notice that my obsession with sex started to get worse to the point that I was always thinking about, planning the next time I was going to get it, and then once when I thought about sex while I was at church I officially knew I had a problem.

For me, to fix this issue I went on an EXTENSIVE fast. It was only for 3 days but I literally fasted, drank only water, and put myself through a spiritual revival and that was probably over 7 years ago and the issue NEVER came back. Also, as an FYI I have a spiritual fasting guide for only .99 cents if you are interested in learning about fasting and how to properly do one click here.

Get this complete comprehensive guide to EVERYTHING you need to know to start and finish a successful spiritual fast for only .99 cents.

9. Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism ~ What’s my point?

Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism I know there was a point in time where I was.  I struggled with those issues for lust for YEARS and YEARS on end. I mean probably since college or since I really started getting into men and having sex. And as I became more sexually active people soul ties stuck with me. I had an issue with lust, sexual thoughts, and over time they just got worst and worst and worst. I did not even know that this was not normal behavior that is until I was healed of the affliction.

And once I was healed that is when I had a clear mind that I realized that I was controlled my lust. I became more productive, sex was not always on my mind, chasing men or finding a boyfriend (so that I could have sex with) was not always on my mind and I was free to do, feel, and think about whatever I wanted to do and think about. With the lust, it just was not like that before. The lust was controlling me and because I suffered from lust it manifested in most of the other areas my life, from the men I spoke to, how I allowed men to treat me, what I thought about, and who I slept with.

Nothing and I mean NOTHING should have that much control of you. I was a Christian before my lust issue but even after my lust issue, I became a stronger Christian. I was able to focus more on Jesus and my relationship with God then I was focused on sex.

And even though it sounds insane me being celibate for years does not seem like that big of a deal to me, in fact, it does not really bother me at all; which is a clear indication that you need Jesus and not sex. Because Jesus can be your everything and you can be happy and content with Him, while sex is just something that you use to be happy and content and really it is something that has a hold on you mentally, spiritually, and physically. Which you can also watch my video on lust below.

So SISTER GIRL, take it from me from someone who has been there and who has done that. Ask yourself “Are You Using Sex As A Coping Mechanism?”

You need Jesus, not sex and even though you cannot imagine it or cannot see it now you will be much happier when you are not dependent on sex trust me. And if you don’t trust me, TRY it and if you don’t like it you can always go back.

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