If you are a reader of my blog or even a listener of my YouTube channel then me coming up with this single mom song may seem completely random to you, and it is, BUT hear me out. Because once you do I am so convinced that you are going to get into it. Not because I just want to fulfill some weird lifelong dream of doing a music video BUT it goes well beyond that.
The single mom song is about the story behind the song, how the song got created, and the steps I took (both good and bad) to get where I am today. If you are tired of me talking and want to just hear the song already then go ahead watch the video below. I call the title of this single mom song is: Dedication, Preservation, Transformation (Also, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here).
But no matter if you watch the video first or read this post first, STILL read the post.
First, the point of the single mom song: Dedication, Preservation, Transformation
Writing has always been therapeutic for me. Whenever I wrote a song, I just wanted to feel something. And it was no different when I wrote the single mom song. I have talked about my single mom struggle. I remember when I was going through it, I would always just pray that God would just send some white horse out of the sky to rescue me and POOF the next day my life would be different. What I realized was that life is not about wishing your life problems away. Life is about progression and becoming stronger.
In the video, when you see my son as a toddler, from then to now, knowing that in some of the scenes, I was broke, struggling, but always knowing that I had the same goal on my mind. To do better, to get better, to be better. Yes, it took time, yes, it seems like I was taking baby steps, at times it seemed like I taking no steps at all. But it was all steps, it was all a test, and the end goal was always the same.
Just as I stated in the song. “Through Every Good Work, It Takes Patience and Like a Butterfly Transformation”
Meaning that if you want something good in life; a good life, relationship, success, a future; it takes patience and hard works and as it states in for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honorably with personal integrity and moral courage]; so that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Meaning that no matter who you are or whatever you go through, as you go through life always do it with personal integrity. Yes, it will be hard not to snap on your ex, or go off on that person who does you wrong. BUT you will learn, you will grow, and once you do then you will be equipped to do the will of God.
And that does not happen in a matter of seconds but rather days, weeks, or even years, and it is something that you learn through experience and living life both the good and the bad. I certainly would not be the person I am today without the BAD yes I said the BAD (I would not want to repeat them NOT EVER) but it was the pain that made me strong.
As I always say, and one of my favorite Bible verses:
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5: 1-4
The Birth of the Single Mom Song and the Hidden Talents
I have an entire blog about the parable of the talons AKA talents which you can click here to read about so I will not go into great detail. To give you a shortcut:
God gives us all talents to use on this Earth according to our ability.
“For it is just like a man who was about to take a journey, and he called his servants together and entrusted them with his possessions. To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and then he went on his journey. Matthew 25:14
In this Bible verse, the man is God and the servants are us, and the point is that God gave us all talents according to our own ability. Meaning that God gives us talents that we are going to use and share with others.
I have always loved to “produce” music since I got my hands on a double cassette tape and I could press the record button. That was not a talent I developed yesterday. But I did not consider it a talent, I considered it a hobby, I was not doing anything with it and God reminded me of the three servants. In which two of the servants in the story doubles their talents while the last one hid his talents.
So I was afraid [to lose the talent], and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Matthew 25:25
Through the progression of the cassette tape to the computer, throughout the years I have managed to do some “low budget” producing, with a computer, a podcast microphone, and some earbuds and not the apple ones but some regular ones that are broken, and free recording software. As I said before, I had considered this a hobby but I think that what God was telling me is that actually, I had a talent and that I was hiding it.
I considered my talent as a hobby because I was afraid to show it to the world. But the Bible clearly states:
“For to everyone who has [and values his blessings and gifts from God, and has used them wisely], more will be given, and [he will be richly supplied so that] he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have [because he has ignored or disregarded his blessings and gifts from God], even what he does have will be taken away. Matthew 25:29
Why did I go through all this trouble to write, sing, record, and produce songs… many songs throughout the years and do nothing with them? Some were written never recorded, some of them sitting in my head, some songs were lost in old computers, journals, just talent wasted? Why?
Yes, I do like doing it don’t get me wrong, but if I write things to encourage myself; perhaps they may just encourage other people? And if, they encouraged just one other person that would at least be better than what it was doing not which was collecting dusk not doing anything.
Using The Talents and Stepping Out Of Fear
Once I had this conversation with God I was so sure that I was going to write a song and put it out there for the world to hear that was until I woke up the next day and I was not so sure anymore. You know when something sounds like a good idea that is until you reflect that this may be a bad idea AKA fear.
So I sat in front of my computer and I told God I was ready BUT too bad I did not have a beat, and too bad I did not have any software, and too bad all these other excuses as to why this song was NOT going to happen.
I just TRIED to find a reason to HIDE my talent into the ground. But God took care of all of that. God told me to use the YouTube Audio Library for royalty-free beats. And just so that I would not have to scroll down the hundreds of beats, God told me to go down to the category list choose the “dramatic” option, then choose “hip hop” option, then count down five and choose that beat. And it was, I heard it and knew that it was something I could write to.
As for the software, I had just recorded my last two books on Audacity for audible and I knew very well how to use the software, that was already on my computer, and free and I could use that to record the song.
I just worked on the song. Not knowing what was going to become of it. I kept recording and recording, and changing, and doing, and re-recording and re-recording. And God would not let me rest until I finished this freakin song.
When I was not working on this song it played in my head, I would sometimes have a headache from thinking about this song, the only time the headache stopped is when I finished this freakin song! I did not even know when I would be done. I would work and work on it and work on it, and work on it; until one night literally, I listened to the song all the way through and I realized I was done.
I remember I did not tell anyone I was producing a song because I still wasn’t sure if I was going to do anything with it. For all, I knew it was going to into the bottomless pit of my computer files into the land of the unknown songs. But as I listened to it, I was proud of it. That this one time, if not any other time I was going to share a gift. And that made me happy.
What was God trying to tell me through writing this single mom song?
When I reflect on the main points of this whole single mom song process, I do not just think that it was about the song, I think it was about A LOT of things. Not just for me but for those I am sharing it with.
Getting over the fear:
Once I put the song out there and listened to it, I realized that I do have a talent. I am not sure why I did not want to admit that before or why I was afraid to share it. I also realized that what God was trying to show me is that me hiding the talent that God gave me is the same thing as being ashamed of God. And so I want to encourage you to not hide your talent in the ground. God gave it to you for a reason and if He was not fearful for you to have it, don’t be fearful to use it.
You Have What You Need To Use Your Talents No Excuses
No matter what you think of the song I legit made it from everyday items you probably have sitting in your house right now. A computer, software you can download for free, cheap $2 headphones, and a podcast microphone. No, I did not have an official studio but so what? Do what you can, with what you have.
Now that you have heard my bootleg version of the “behind the music-making of the single mom song” you can listen to the song with a new lenses, I hope that you get encouragement from it and I hope that you have no fear in putting yourself out there by using your God-given talents and trying to do something great. With no fear attached to it.
If you know someone that may be encouraged by this post then share it with them. Plus, get my Amazon bestselling book for “Fix It Jesus For Single Moms Only” by clicking here ( now on audible). OR if you are unsure on if you want to buy, you can click here to and to read the first chapter for free.