Let’s get into some legit signs that he doesn’t appreciate you. And by “he” I mean your man. Because there are some times where us women just don’t feel appreciated but sometimes we can be petty and overreacting AND there are some times where he really doesn’t appreciate you no matter what you do or your best efforts he just seems to dismiss or downplays your efforts. And this post will tell you how to tell the difference. You can also check out my video below on what to do when a man does not appreciate you.
Because like I always say, if one man does not want to appreciate you then another will. But I also want to say that this depends on how deep his unappreciation goes. If he is just treating you like a slave that is supposed to do everything for him and it is a situation where you are giving everything and he is giving nothing then perhaps you may consider a man that knows your worth. But in minor situations, it may still be able to be fixed. In any case, check out my video below for more tips and what to do and also don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Now let’s get into the signs that he doesn’t appreciate you and what you can do about it.
Sign #1 The You Are the Only One Giving
As women for some strange women or another, we always feel the need to overcompensate. If he is not giving we will tend to GIVE more in order to make him give. If you are the only one giving in the relationship then not only is that one of the signs that he doesn’t appreciate you but it is also a sign that he just doesn’t care. I think a great book that I read, that all women need to read is why men love Bs (which you can click here to buy) to explain why giving too much can actually repel a man and make him see you as his lap dog.
The first one of the signs he doesn’t appreciate you is that if you are the only one calling, texting, remembering his birthday, driving to his house, suggesting dates, and so on and so forth not only does he not appreciate you but he may be just using you. This is an indication that you just want to move on and go about your business.
Sign #2 He Dismisses Everything That You do For Him
I remember I used to get caught up in this when I dated men. I got so caught up in that Beyonce upgrade you song so whenever a man I was with needed help professionally or there was something that I could do for him (even when I broke my freakin neck) I would do it. This could include planning something romantic or just going out of your way to do something that you FEEL or he should appreciate only to be met with a dismissive attitude or he just downplays what you do as no big deal. When in fact you have done a whole bunch.
In these cases either he is intentionally downplaying what you did for him which is downright rude or he is oblivious to how many hoops you had to jump through and is just unappreciative (which is just selfish). Either way as someone who has been there no one wants to have their efforts unnoticed or worse downplayed and him acting as if you did not do anything special. A simple thank you or acknowledgment goes a long way. And if a man is not willing to do that, especially if it happens time and time again then he does not appreciate you.
Sign #3 He Doesn’t Appreciate You If What You Do Is Never Good Enough
As I said, saying thank you or just acknowledging that you went out of your way to do something can go a long way. But if every time you do something it is just is not good enough, he tells you it could have been done better, or he gives you a thousand ways as to what you did is wrong that is a sign of unappreciation. Especially if it happens on more than one occasion.
For example, you may want to cook him dinner, spent a very long time in the kitchen planning a meal, cooked, and took the time to create a romantic candle lite dinner. But when he came over he had the nerve to criticize your cooking OR instead of focusing on the wonderful meal you cooked he wants to go in on you how you messed up too many dishes or something that takes away from the good deed that you did for him. Once again this is selfishness, the inability to see beyond his own wants and needs to actually say thank you or to appreciate a kind deed that you did and he only chooses to focus on the negative.
Sign #4 He Does Appreciate You If He Is Just Plain Disrespectful
You can be or you can try to be the model girlfriend but instead of complimenting you or at least giving you, your props he finds little nasty or even nasty nice comments to low key put you down. You know those comments that he makes to try to make it seem like he is helping you BUT really he is trying to throw shade.
An example of this would be that you lost 15 pounds and you wanted to dress up for a date. Instead of him saying that you look nice and complimenting you on your weight loss. He says something like “oh you lost 15 pounds, I can barely tell that dress does not fit you well it really makes you look like you gained 15 pounds.”
Are there times where your man may give you contrastive feedback? Yes, but it is all in the way he says it and his intent. Maybe you may not look great in that dress or maybe it may make you look fat. BUT there is a way to say something and if you man is saying something like the above statement he is not being constructive but he is just being rude. So do not fall into the “I am trying to help you” when you know for a fact that he was just trying to throw low key shade.
Behavior like this can be emotionally abusive and a mind trick that men play to put you down and to make you work harder to please him by subconsciously exalting himself above you in order to keep you trying to harder to please him by making you not feel good enough. Check out my video below for more on the type of mind games men play.
Sign #5 He Expects
Understand that relationships are all about giving in my opinion. You give to him and he gives to you, that is ideal. If both people in a relationship were busy doing that we would have a lot fewer problems, however. Even when you give it should be an appreciation, not an expectation. Another one of the signs he doesn’t appreciate you is that he just expects for you to carry him on his back. For example, because you are my woman I expect you to give me money when I don’t have it, I expect you to have sex with me after I treat you like crap, I expect you to manage my life, I expect you to please me, do for me AND if you do not do what I want you to do how I want you to do it then I am going to punish you.
Now punishment may not be him beating you like a child and if that is the case then that’s another issue altogether. You do not need to read this blog to learn that he doesn’t appreciate you if he is putting his hands on you. But punishment may be that he disappears for days on end without contacting you, he does not text you or answer your phone calls, he flirts with other women in front of your face, or he talks about his ex in front of your face by telling you how awesome she is and how much you suck because you won’t do XYZ.
If he wants to talk about an ex then you need to highly suggest he go back there. Love is not like that. It is not expecting someone to give to you time and time again until they have nothing to give to themselves and then you want to punish them in some way when you don’t give to him in the exact way that he wants it. That is a manipulation technique. Also, check out my video below on what real love so you don’t fall prey to this nonsense.
If your man has displayed some or worse all of these signs that he doesn’t appreciate you then don’t worry all is not lost. I always recommend that you communicate how you are feeling first and give him an opportunity to correct the behavior. If he doesn’t then guess what you have the free will to bounce and leave his behind sitting there looking crazy by himself, leaving him to move on to another victim of his nonsense. There are too many men and fish in the sea for you to get focused on one that does not know your worth. Like I say in my video below.
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