A lot of people wonder why they are unhappy and often the key to their own unhappiness is something that we call self sabotaging behaviors. If you are wondering what in the world I am talking about let’s first get into what self sabotaging behaviors are that way you can understand why they are keeping you unhappy and most importantly how you can stop them.
Self sabotaging behaviors creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals.
Now I am going to be real with you in the fact that there are a lot of people standing in their own way and they do not even know it. Just think about it. Do you know someone in your life that is always negative, always argumentative, it is always everyone else’s fault?
I can almost bet we all know someone in our lives that is like that or perhaps we are that person. This is a prime example of self sabotaging behavior that can keep you in the state of being unhappy in your life and MOST people who act like this don’t even know it.
I am often a person of self reflection and always encourage people to do the same as you can see from my blog here. Because if you do not know how you act, how you come across to other people, and how your behavior is keeping you in a state of unhappiness in life, then how will you know that you need to change it.
So let’s get into the self sabotaging behaviors that are keeping you in the state of unhappiness in your life.
1. You Are Always Offended
Perhaps it is the day and age we are living in where everyone’s business is always out on social media, but people love to get offended for every little thing. We want to get offended by the way someone looks, by the way, they eat, that someone is too nice, or because we just want to get offended. Now of course there are obvious injustices in the world that we should get offended by BUT that is not what I am talking about.
If you are the type of person that is trolling social media leaving comments about how offended and upset you are about what THEY in their own life that has nothing to do with you, then my dear you have a problem. And I can almost bet that this sort of self sabotaging behavior of being offended probably carries into your personal life as well.
Why this is causing your unhappiness is life.
How can you be focused on making your own grass greener if you are so busy worrying about someone else’s grass? How can you possibly make your own life better when you are so consumed and preoccupied with someone else’s? I have encountered people like this and most people do not even know how they come across.
So, it is important for you to recognize how you go about conversations. If every time you talk to people you find yourself getting upset or mad about something that they said ESPECIALLY if it really has nothing to do with you then you are probably easily offended.
Just like the following Bible verse says:
Also, do not take seriously everything that is said Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
Not everything is worth getting upset or offended about because when you do you are choosing to interrupt your own inner peace.
2. You Are Argumentative
This is another self sabotaging behavior. Sometimes people want to argue just to argue, just to be right, just to be seen as smart, just to give themselves the appearance that they are better than everyone else when really all this is doing is getting all people’s nerves and pushing them away from you.
How being argumentative is causing unhappiness in your life
I want to start off with an example. I once had a friend that I worked with. No matter how much I tried to be her friend she just kept arguing. She kept arguing with me, she kept arguing with people at work, co-workers, bosses, she kept arguing with her boyfriend, it was always something and the bad part about it was she did not even realize it.
Even when as a friend I tried to tell her. The result of it was that no one wanted to be around her, she was written up at work, no one wanted to work with her, and her boyfriend eventually broke up her.
Being an argumentative person can push people away and it can isolate you. It can make people not want to give you a chance in life, not want to give you a promotion.
If you are in a situation where you are always isolated, and you notice that people pull away from you then you may want to ask yourself are you that person who is being argumentative? And consider the following Bible.
The servant of the Lord must not participate in quarrels, but must be kind to everyone [even-tempered, preserving peace, and he must be], skilled in teaching, patient and tolerant when wronged. 2 Timothy 2:24
You do not have to be a sheep and agree with everyone, but there is a way to articulate your point without arguing, and sometimes it is better to keep the peace and not say anything at all instead of choosing to pick a fight.
3. You Are Self Sabotaging If You Are Always Negative
I used to have a big habit of always being negative and I did not even know it. I realized that my negativity came from not wanting to be disappointed. I used to tell myself that this could never happen to me, I would never be happy or get the life I deserved. I used to always talk down until I realized that this was just me being negative.
And I was holding my own blessings back. I have spoken about the power of your words in my blog here. And if you are always talking about what you don’t have and what you are not worthy of or you think negatively about yourself and your life then this is going to keep you unhappy.
Why Being Negative Keeps You Unhappy
In my blog where I talk about the key to being happy what I have learned is about perception. If you perceive every little thing to be negative, then that is what your life will become. You will go out into the day expecting something negative, always seeing the negative, always thinking negative and you will never get to enjoy the positive.
But if you learn to shift your mindset to see the positive, choosing to be grateful for what you do have, and choosing to go about your day with positive thoughts then you will be waiting with expectation as opposed to waiting in fear.
If this is you then you may also want to check out my Christian Manifestation Guide with Bible verses and affirmations for various areas of your life. When I decided to do this myself, I actually started to make more progress in my business and became a full-time entrepreneur which you can read that blog here.
4. You Place Limitations On Yourself
When I started about my entrepreneur journey, I remember telling my friends about it and also encouraging them to do it. Many of my friends were mothers, they wanted more at-home time with their kids, they wanted to make more money, and most of all they hated their job.
But yet when I offered them a solution and offered to help them start their own business do you know what their response was? I can’t, I am not that creative, or I do not feel like it. And the end result was them sitting in a job that they hate living under their potential simply because they placed limits on what they believed they can achieve.
Why Placing Limits on yourself plays a part in your unhappiness
Placing limits on what you think you can do with your life holds you back and allows you to settle for being mediocre. More importantly it keeps you from the life that you deserve. Everyone has their own unique sets of gifts and talents as I talk about in my blog here. But if you are too scared to use them, then you are not going to get anything.
I think a wonderful example of this is Steve Harvey. In his book Act Like A Success Think Like A Success (which you can buy using my affiliate link here). He talks about how he wanted to be a comedian and he was working at the Ford company. When he went to quit his job, everyone told him he was crazy because Ford was a good job.
But this job did not make him happy and had he listen to these people telling him that the Ford Motor Company was the best that he could do then he still would be sitting there instead of living the wonderful life that he has now that makes him happy.
You can also choose to join my Patreon where I talk about self-improvement tips and even tips for starting your own business and self-improvement if you want to know how to remove the limitations from your own life and get the life you deserve. Click here or the picture below.
5. You Are a Drama Queen
Being a drama queen self sabotaging behaviors are the type of behavior that is attention-seeking behavior. And most important it is about creating drama in your own life to get attention. But in a bad way not good. With a drama queen everything is always a big deal, everything that happens to them in life is the end all be all. Everything that happens in a drama queens life makes them unhappy and turns into an Earth-shattering event that disrupts their whole way of being.
Which is why this causes unhappiness in their life
Being a drama queen, your life is always in a state of drama, panic, and anxiety. No one can live a happy life if there is always some perceived drama that is causing disruption. Do things happen in our lives? Yes, they do BUT there is also something called resiliency. Which is the ability to positively adapt to whatever is going on around you?
Give me a favor, scroll down your social media or even your text, and read some of your posts. Are they all talking about how much anxiety you have because today something happened to you? Are they all talking about how you cannot cope and how everything is going wrong in your life?
If that is the case my dear, then you may be a drama queen. If you are so busy announcing all the bad stuff that is happening in your life you have to wonder WHY it is you are doing that. Are you trying to get attention and sympathy from other people? Do you do this in real life?
Of course, you are going to be unhappy if all you are doing is talking about the unhappy things in your life only for people to give you validation so you can feel better. In this way you are never going to feel better you are just going to keep coming up with drama to get attention from other people because other people’s attention is what gives you satisfaction. And needing validation or attention from others is not a way to be happy.
6. The Relationship Junkie
In my book for single women I spoke about this. Many people have preconceived notions that they cannot be happy unless they are in a relationship and that is simply not true. If you are a relationship junkie then the type of self sabotaging behaviors you may be doing is jumping from relationship to relationship, finding a man, any man… it really does not matter who. Because you feel this is what you need to make you happy. Click here to get my book for single women or click here and I will give you the first few chapters free.
If You Are Unhappy in life because you feel you have no relationship.
You should be complete on your own and happy on your own. Whoever you bring into your life should add on to that happiness, not define it. If you feel your happiness depends upon a relationship then your happiness will always be a roller coaster ride depending on who is or is not in it.
You can check out my video below if you are single, you should be mastering your own life and the video will give you tips on how to do it. This is a way to bring the focus back on yourself, a way to make your own self happy, and when you are happy you will attract another complete person to add on to your already happy life. Also, click here to subscribe to my YouTube Channel.
7. You Are Lazy
The next out of the self sabotaging behaviors is laziness. For those people who think that the happy life that they want and deserve is just supposed to come falling out of the sky without any real effort from them. And so, they sit there day in and day out wondering why they do not have the life they want when they have not put in an effort to get the life they want.
Why Laziness is a factor in unhappiness in your life
Because you are not doing anything. And so you just sit around thinking how your life is going to crap because that is literally all you have to do all day. You really need to ask yourself, how productive are you really? Are you taking action toward your goals or are you just making excuses? Which brings me to my next point.
8. You Have No Goals
One of the self sabotaging behaviors is to have no goals. If no one has told you I personally feel that you were given this one life to do and accomplish something. And if you don’t feel that way then you are going to feel unhappy. Your world is going to feel empty and insignificant because you are refusing to actually move toward anything and so you are stuck standing still.
How to keep not having any goals from being the unhappiness in your life
Get goals and move toward them. I have an entire blog on how to change your life in less than a year and I tell you exactly how to do it. Trust and believe that when your life is filled with purpose, a direction, and something that you are moving toward then that you will start to feel more fulfilled and happy.
9. You Suffer From Entitlement
Anyone who knows me knows that I hate entitlement (see my blog here). It is the idea that someone owes you something and all your happiness is contingent upon what other people or the world is giving you. And when you do not get it, you sink down into depression or anxiety all because of what other people won’t do for you.
How To Keep Entitlement from making you unhappy.
If you have not heard it yet I will be the one to tell you. The world owes you NOTHING. And if by chance someone does give you something you should be thankful and not feel that is what they SHOULD be doing because really, they don’t. I have said it and will say it again, your happiness does not come from the outside world and what people are and are not doing for you. And if you think that your mood will always be swayed by the outside world instead of you being self-regulated. Meaning that you and only you control what will and will not make you happy. You can create your own opportunities, create your own way, and not get mad at others just because you feel they owe you something NO they don’t. Also, check out my video below on entitlement.
If there is anything that you were able to get from this post, I hope that you understand that self sabotaging behaviors comes from within you and they can be causing the unhappiness in your life. BUT the silver lining is that since you are creating them you can also become aware of them and stop them. If you know someone who may need to read this post, then go ahead and share it with them. And once again check out my Patreon for more self-improvement content and finding ways to level up and boss up your own life. Click here or the picture below.