You can choose to listen to this blog “10 Reasons Why I Gave Up On Love” by clicking the play button below.
Before you get your panties all in a bunch thinking that I am some cynical angry woman since I gave up on love I want to tell you I have a very good reason or better yet 10. Not only did I give up on love for a while, as in YEARS but I think that you should too. And here’s why.
What I learned when I gave up on love.
- I learned to be happy by myself. Like legit I can sit in the house alone, all by myself, for days, weeks, months, and years and my happiness is unphased.
2. My friends thought I was crazy for not wanting to date but I notice that I was content in myself while they are only content with chasing, dating, or having a man. And when they don’t have one then they are not content. My happiness is not contingent upon the men in my life.
3. I became the best version of myself, you can view my Patreon video below where you will see some shocking before and after pictures.
4. I found a life purpose. When you chase your life purpose then I am convinced that you will find your man along the way.
I started chasing the purpose, not the man, which I too have a video on below that you can watch, and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
5. Understand, I do not want you to be single forever but what I have learned that when you give up on love. You are choosing you first and sending a subliminal message to men that if they cannot come correct and add on to your already awesome life then they need not come at all.
Because all though you may desire a relationship you don’t have to have one to make you happy, and you are willing to walk away from any man if need be if they are going to disrupt your inner peace. When you give up on love from men you give up the need to be validated by them.
6. I Became What I Wanted To attract
I have been single for quite some time now and that is because one day I sat down and had a good talk with God and prayed for what I wanted in a husband. And God gave me a very honest answer because that is how God is. He told me that it was cool to want all these things but am I what I wanted to attract?
So many of us want to attract the best possible man for ourselves but we are not the best version of our selves. If you want a career-oriented man that is a provider, and that is attractive, or that is ambitious you have to ask yourself are you that?
The idea of being equally yoked as I said in my blog here is about both people bringing the same type of thing to the table. How can you ask for someone who has their life together all the while your life is going to crap, and you have no idea what you want to do with it?
So in the years that I was single, I finished my Masters’s degree, my Ph.D., became a national certified counselor, I lost 70 pounds, I started taking better care of myself, and I became an entrepreneur. See my level up video below.
Because I now understood that the best of the best type of man also wants to be with the best of the best type of woman and so I became that. In the book Played on be Played (click affiliate link here to buy), which I have a blog on the list the following type of women:
- A-class females (attractive women with game)
- B-class females (attractive women with no game)
- C-class females (mannequins)
- D-class females (unattractive women with game)
- F-class females (unattractive women with no game)
Every woman has the potential to become an A class woman. I had to be honest with myself and tell myself that at the time I was a level C type of woman at best and did what I had to do to become a level A so that I could attract the same type of man.
Check out this book on Gina Sayles HOW TO MEET THE RICH for Business, Friendship, or Romance? she is a true rag to riches story coming from a bad marriage with a toxic husband to a healthy one with a man who is good for her and is a provider as well. Taking time to level up her life brought her a better man.
7. No More Drama
One of the reasons why I gave up on love is because I was chasing love and because I was chasing love I was just getting myself into situations that were NOT good. When we want something so bad and, in this case, love it can blind us from the red flags.
It can make us desperate to just accept anybody, and it can cause us to accept less than what we deserve. But once you give up on love all that desperation stops and when the desperation stopped, for me, these men started to see that I could not care one way or the other about wanting to chase them and I got to see them for who they really were.
When you give up on love and do not have your rose-colored glasses on because you want to be in love so bad you start to see men for who they really are and if they are good for you. And sad to say many men I saw were narcissist, only wanted sex, were into playing games, had nothing interesting to say, or they were not really into me.
And I decided I did not want to waste my time on those type of men. Do not misunderstand what I am saying I KNOW there are good men out there but the need to be in love so bad can make you a target for the bad ones.
So when I actually gave up on love I started to attract better quality men not because I was trying so hard but because I was just me and the men who were attracted to me wanted me because I stood out from the other women because I did not have the beads of desperation sweat coming down my face like a hot summers day.
8. I Reclaimed my Body
When I gave up on love I also gave up on sex. You can watch my video on how I have been celibate for over 5 years below and do not forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Some women have sex because they think that it will make a man love them, some women have sex because they have an empty void that they are hoping to fill through sex, and some women have sex just cause.
When I gave up on love I really thought about the idea of sex, that you are naked and you have another person entering your body. I also thought about how casually I was treating it. And it should not be casual.
You are literally sharing your body with someone else. And having sex too soon or with the wrong person can create soul ties (see my blog here) and have unintended consequences for you. It was not until I decided to give up on love that I saw that. Just like the Bible says:
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, glorify God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6: 19- 20
And giving unworthy men access to my body was not me glorifying my body, it was not until I gave up on love that I was finally able to see that perspective. Which I also talk about in my video below.
9. I Found Myself
Giving up on love meant that I found myself. Once again, I know that this sounds corny. But I read the book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia and it really motivated me. You can buy the book here and I may give a few spoilers to explain my point, but she ends up divorcing her husband (she decided to give up on love). To go on a journey to find herself and loves ends up finding her. You can also watch the movie it has Julia Roberts in it if you want the short version.
But notice her journey was about HER FIRST. She did give up on love with her husband only for real love to find her. But when you chase love, when you must have love, and all you think about is a man and getting married, you are putting all your happiness in someone else.
And no one else wants to feel the burden of making you happy. That burden belongs to you and when a person loves you they add on to your already happy life. They do not define it.
10. When you give up on love:
- That does not mean you are not open to love you are just not going to chase it down.
- It means that you are taking time to focus on you and what makes you happy.
- It means that you learn that you are enough.
- And it means that you only accept the BEST type of men for you and not just any type of man because you want to be loved so bad.
As backward as it sounds, when I gave up on love I became happier in all areas of my life, I am a better version of myself and to not accept no nonsense from men. This is why I encourage all women to take a time out and give up on love for a while figure themselves out and I feel like you will have similar results.
If you enjoyed this post then please share it and also consider checking out my book for single women which you can click here to buy. If you are not sure click here and I’ll give you the first few chapters for free.