To listen to the blog post “I Hate Myself: How To Overcome Brokenness & Low Self Esteem” over reading it just click the play button below.
If I were being honest, I think we can all say that we have all had those “I hate myself” moments from time to time. But there is a difference between a “I hate myself” moment and an “I hate myself” most of the time. Because if you are stuck in an “I hate myself” mode most of the time then that means that you are suffering from self loathing and low self esteem.
Which is why in this post I am going to address how to stop hating yourself or at least give you some tips and tricks on how to do that. But before we get into it, I really want you to check out my video below on how to have more self esteem and self-confidence and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Why Do I Hate Myself?
There are times we just tell ourselves that “I hate myself” so much that we never get down to the root of what that is. When you get down to the root of why you are hating yourself then that is when you can get down to the root of how to fix it. Answer some of these questions:
- Do you hate yourself because you feel other people hate you?
- Do you hate yourself because of what people told you about yourself (also check out my blog on how other people’s issues can make you develop your own).
- Do you hate yourself because you feel you are unworthy, not smart, not good looking, not where you want to be?
Once you start to understand these questions then guess what? You can get down to fixing them. You can start to understand why you hate yourself. Were you bullied growing up? Where you told that you were ugly or will not amount to anything? If this is where your hating yourself comes from, then you have to realize that you are not really hating yourself at all. You are just taking on other people’s words and taking on their emotions about you as your own thoughts and feelings about yourself. Thus leading you to feel like you hate yourself.
First, How To Stop Hating Yourself: Just Stop
Just stop. I know you may be thinking that it is easier said than done but not really. Because I can almost bet that there is something that you are saying or doing to yourself that only increases the chances of you hating yourself. If you are telling yourself that you hate yourself everyday, then stop. If you are thinking to yourself that you hate yourself everyday just stop. How can you expect to have high self esteem or feel better about yourself if you are just sitting around telling yourself “I hate myself” all the time? Just like the Bible says:
As a man thinks in his heart so is he. Proverbs 23:7
So, if you are sitting around talking about how much you hate yourself and going down to ALL the reasons why you hate yourself then guess what. That is what you are and that is what you will become and it is going to be very difficult for you to stop hating yourself if every single day you are doing and behaving in a way that says to yourself that you do.
And I get it, you may be saying to me how I can stop feeling like “I hate myself” when I really do? And my response to you is to fake it until you make it. When you stop saying these things to yourself, low key you may really still feel them but if you fester in the words of just hating yourself and always feeling that way and telling yourself that then you will always hate yourself.
Do not think that you have no control over your emotions, and you cannot choose to love yourself for that day or at the very least stop hating yourself because you can. It may take some effort because old habits die hard but if you try, day after day, it will get easier and before you know it those “I hate myself” words and emotions will start to fade out. Also check out my second video on how to build confidence.
Secondly, Hating Yourself Less
Remember those questions that I told you to answer so that you can figure out why you hate yourself? Answering those questions will help you figure out how to hate yourself less. For example, I always tell the story about how I gained over 70 pounds and then lost it (you can read that blog here). And the fact of the matter is was that my self esteem was not as high as it was. I really did not like my body BUT notice that I did not say “I hated myself.”
The reason why that is, is because I realized that not being pleased with ONE aspect of myself did not justify me hating my entire self. Just because I hated the way my body was in that time and I did not feel like my normal self, I felt self-conscious at times, or I did not feel comfortable walking around did not mean that I hated myself as a whole. And I think a lot of people get confused by that, thinking that because you hate one aspect of yourself that then spreads to the rest of you and then you hate everything about yourself. Which is unrealistic. Instead you need to compartmentalize why you hate yourself.
Is it because you feel that you are not attractive? If that is the case that is something you can easily change (read my blog here for more tips). But let me tell you something, beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder. And is never absolute, so if that is the source of your hate it can be changed.
Is it because you feel you are not smart? Once again, can be changed. Ask yourself, what will make you feel smart? Is it going back to school? Getting a better job (click my blog here for more on that) and change it.
Because you feel worthless, aimless, or a number of reasons. What it is? Because getting down to the root cause of the one or two things that you hate about yourself means that you can change those one, two, or even three things. And it is important for you to know that those few things do not make up the entire you. And there are great things about yourself. Take time to choose to acknowledge those instead of having all these self loathing thoughts about the few things you do not like about yourself. Which once again can probably be changed or improved anyway. And if they can’t.
Third, Embrace What You Hate
I have an entire blog about four women who actually took their flaws and embraced them (click my blog here). Some of them had birth defects, some of them had burns all over their body, but yet they took these flaws and instead of hating themselves for them they embraced them and low and behold it was those same flaws that propelled them into their purpose.
If you are hating yourself because there are things about you that are different then I say stop. Who determines what is normal or not normal? Who determines what is weird or not weird and why can’t the unique things about you be a good thing instead of a bad thing? So changing your perspective on something can really help you get out of that “ I hate myself mentality.”
Fourth, No One Is Going to Feel Sorry For You Like You Feel Sorry For Yourself
I have a separate blog on this that you can read here. But often when you are stuck hating yourself this is because you somehow feel that this is going to invoke sympathy from other people and they will feel sorry for you as well. But do you want to know a secret, this self loathing behavior that you have in regards to yourself, no one cares. Not really.
Yes they may say they care or they may feel a tinge of empathy for you but the fact of the matter is, is that no one is going to feel sorry for you as much as you feel sorry for yourself. You hating yourself is not winning you any bonus points, it is not making you a prime candidate for relationships, a friendship, it is not moving your closer to your ideal life, none of that. When you hate yourself own self you are sending a signal out to people that you are not worth loving.
What it is doing is making you a huge ball of pity party that no one is going to want to be around. Because while you are sitting around hating yourself, other people want to sit around and enjoy life. And when you really and truly realize that hating yourself only affects you and no one else then maybe that will give you just enough encouragement to stop. Hating yourself brings you no where closer to your goal.
I really hope that these gave you tips on how to stop the whole “I hate myself” and know that it can be done if you really and truly want to change. And the last bit of encouragement I want to give you is to get my Christian Manifestation Guide that has 29 affirmations and Bible verses for all areas of your life including yourself self esteem. Remember, speak it, believe it, and you will start to see who you really are. Not someone you should hate. Click here to buy.