To listen to the blog “Even God Says Your Man Need A Job, Refuse To Work Syndrome” click the play button below.
How many times have I heard a woman say “my boyfriend doesn ‘t have a job and I pay for everything.” The fact of the matter is that I have heard this TOO many times. If this is you ladies then your man suffers from the refuse to work syndrome and let me tell you that this is NOT it. When women fall into the trap of my boyfriend doesn ‘t have a job and I pay for everything I can almost bet I can tell you how she got there.
- Either she fell in love with potential, meaning that her man fed her a bunch of pipe dreams on what he can do, what he wanted to do, and once she got to know him she found out that he lacks the follow through to do any of these things.
- She had on her rose colored glasses when meeting this man. He could have been finer than a glass of wine, talked real nice that she probably ignored the fact that he suffered from the refuse to work syndrome. Also check out my video below on how to weed a man out on the first date video to avoid this problem.
- Or perhaps her man did work and the woman became one of these women who wanted to pay for everything and so he got used to it and now all of a sudden the man became her child, (AKA a man that she has to provide for and take care of) and now he just does nothing all day. Also watch my video below on the man child and click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
There could be a thousand reasons as to how you found yourself in the “my boyfriend won’t work” category. I have even found myself in this situation thinking that if I just help my man, do this, that or provide for everything then surely he will change. But that is rarely the case. And if you feel like your man suffers from the refuse to work syndrome, then I have good news for you. Even God says your man needs to get a job, so it is cool to just dump him like the bad habit that he finds himself to be if he insist on leeching off you or being aimless in his life.
Even God Says Your Man Needs A Job
Because the Bible has so much practical advice on how to handle situations like these, let’s find out exactly what God has to say about a man who suffers from the refuse to work syndrome. Also don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for more tips like the ones below (click here). Also, I like to read from the Amplified Bible to get a better grasp on what is being said (click here to buy the Bible I use).
Bible verse #1
If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfills his obligation in these matters]. 1 Timothy 5:8
What this means for you:
If God is giving your man the side eye because he suffers from the refuse to work syndrome then you should be giving him the side eye too. It’s not called being judgmental, it is called requiring a man to be a man and part of his duties is to provide.
Bible verse #2
So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:17
What this means for you:
That God gave your man the ability to do something with himself (also check out my blog on how to use your God given talents). And if he refuses to work, that is his problem, his choice, and you need to stop listening to whatever excuse he is giving you about his inability to get a job.
Bible Verse #3
Poor is he who works with a negligent and idle hand, But the hand of the diligent makes him rich. Proverbs 10: 4-5
What this means for you
If your boyfriend is refusing to work and now you are paying for everything then I am sure you understand that your man has idle hands and because of his idle hands that is only going to lead down the path of HIM being poor. But don’t let his poverty mindset (click my blog here) spill over to you. Instead, find a man who has diligent hands, that will reap income from his profession. Because that is the benefits that you want to spill over to you, not a poor man leaching off of you so much that you then become poor yourself. Because that will happen if you keep having to give all your money to him instead of providing for yourself.
Bible Verse #4
Do you see a man skillful and experienced in his work? He will stand [in honor] before kings; He will not stand before obscure men. Proverbs 22:29
What this means for you
When you think of the type of man that you want, do you want a man that is experienced in his work, able to navigate life, get promotions, and eventually move to the top of the totem pole. Or do you want a man that just sits in one spot with his refuse to work syndrome, acting like he is unable to find a job when really he is not trying.
The motivated man, will always stay motivated and will move up in life and if you are his woman and eventually his wife he will take you with him. While a man who acts like he cannot run his own life by even providing for himself will drag you down in the process. It is a lot harder moving your way to the top with anchor holding on to your back dragging you down in the process with their inadequacies. Also check out my video on men Christian woman should stay way from.
Bible verse: #5
For even while we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. 2 Thessalonians 3:10
What this means for you
So I am going to have dork moment. When I was with my son on his field trip to James town they talked about John Smith, a Christian who when he settled in America he told all the settlers that a man who does not work does not eat. This mentality alone was responsibility for keeping the settlers alive and prevented people from just laying around, leeching off the village, taking all the food, knowing that they did not do the work that was required to gather the food.
It is the same mentality with you. A man does not work does not eat. What that means is that a man who suffers from the refuse to work syndrome is a man that should not get your time, energy, conversation, he should not be living in your house, eating up all your food and sucking all all of your air conditioner.
Because just like those settlers a boyfriend who won’t work and wants you to pay for everything is a man that will run you into the ground with no care in the world. And when you have no more money or no more resources then he is on to woman to be his mom that will provide for him just like the man child he is (click my blog here to read).
The statement should not be “my boyfriend doesn ‘t have a job and I pay for everything” because in the end you don’t HAVE to do anything. And if he does not have a job HE does not eat. Why are you taking him out on dinners, dates, and showing him a good time. These are privileges that should be taken away from him. And like I said in my video below, another privilege that should be taken away from him is you.
Refuse To Work Syndrome And How To Handle A Boyfriend Who Won’t Work
Although you may not want to here this, when your man suffers from the refuse to work syndrome there is a character flaw within him. No real man is going to just sit around and feel comfortable living off of his women. And although you may want to try to change him don’t. Because trying to change him, help him, and still sitting up in his face while your boyfriend won’t work is enabling him.
Case in point:
My college boyfriend went through a rough time many years ago. He dropped out of college while I graduated and he crashed his car, leaving him unable to get to work. Leaving him unable to pay rent and to make money. I thought then as a dutiful girlfriend I would pay for everything and when I got exhausted we broke up and he moved out.
Now he has a local government job, a new house, his own car, and is a productive member of society. He even went back to college. He did not do this with me because I realized that I was enabling him. He was going to not work and allow me to pay for everything just so long as I was doing it. And when I went away, all of a sudden he became resourceful and was able to get a job and do all the things that he claimed he could not do with me.
If your man suffers from the refuse to work syndrome then it is not your problem. Choose to let go and let God. Pray he gets it together and go about your merry little way. You can do bad, or better yet GOOD all by yourself. No need to have him dragging you and your finances down. Don’t forget to check out my book for single Christian women. Just click here to buy or click here and I will give you the first few chapters for free.