To listen to the blog post “Learning How To Love Again After Having Bad Relationships” over reading it just click the play button below.
A very real question for so many women is learning how to love again after being dogged out by men. The fact of the matter is that women are more emotional. A man can dog you out, go about his day, get into a great marriage with someone else, and not think twice about you. But for women, it can be different.
Because we emotionally invest so much into a relationship that it can be difficult learning how to love again after we gave our all to someone and they just mistook our love for weakness. No matter if you want to believe it or not being in bad relationships can leave imprints on your heart making it difficult for you to love again (which I have a separate blog post on that that you can read here). Also, consider checking out my video down below on the topic as well. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
If you have some baggage left over from past men that is keeping you from learning to love again then you may have some of these signs:
- You are angry and bitter.
- You think all men are bad.
- You stay in what other people would define as bad relationships because you feel that this is how relationships are.
- You punish every man you meet for things that your ex did to you.
These are just to name a few, but I have a video where I did a case study on K. Michelle and the fact that she needed to learn how to love again because she was so bitter due to her past BAD relationships. So check out that video down below as well to see if you have some of the same thinking patterns as her. And these thinking patterns could be holding you back.
First, remember that your past does not define you.
I want you to check out my video below to hear an excerpt from my book for single mothers (Fix It Jesus For Single Moms, Only which you can click here to buy).
What I said in this video is that we all have a past, problems, bad relationships, maybe even a string of bad relationships and because of this, we allow our past to define who we are and what we deserve (click my blog post here for more on that). When really the fact that past relationships did not see you or appreciate you is not your problem. It is theirs. So do not think that you are broken or not deserving of a great relationship because of all your jacked up ones.
Second, Allow A Man To Prove Himself To You
One of the reasons why being dogged out by men hurts so much is because you probably gave too much before the man deserved what you were giving. It could have been your sex, your time, or you TRYING TOO HARD to make him love you.
When you are learning to love again do not fall into a fake version of love by overdoing and over-giving and when you do not get the same in return then you feel like he has done you wrong. When really you were just in a one-sided relationship (which I have a blog post on).
Instead, this time let a man prove himself to you through his action and how he treats you. Do not over give, overdo, try to make him see the real you, or jump through hoops until he has shown himself to be a man that is worth you doing all of that. Also, check out my video below on why trust should be earned and not given.
Third, Work On You
Learning how to love again is not the hard part. Fixing the damage that has been done to you and your heart that now affects the way you do relationships and even the way you trust is the hard part.
Maybe you need to get therapy, take a time out from dating, level up and focus on yourself, do whatever it is that you need to do to get yourself in a healthy space that says “I know who I am, I know what I deserve, and I am not going to settle for less.”
If you have high self-esteem and high self-confidence then you are going to hold yourself in such high regard that you are only going to settle for a man that treats you the way that you love yourself.
- Do not go searching for love in all the wrong places.
- Do not try to jump from the relationship to relationship because you do not want to be alone.
- Do not get into a sex only relationship because you just want to feel loved.
All of these things diminish your worth and sets you up to be treated like crap by men again. Causing you to have more distrust of men and if that happens you are going to have a hard time opening yourself up and learning how to love again. Because if you are not healed and you do not see yourself like the jewel that you are then you will always accept men who do not see you as a jewel either. Also, check out my video below on how to have self-confidence.
So these are my three tips on learning to love again after being in bad relationships. And notice that these are all changes that you can make from within. If you know someone who may need to read this post then share it with them. And also consider getting my book for single women “Fix It Jesus, For Single Women Only.”