To listen to the blog post “6 Tips That’ll Guarantee You’ll Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve” over reading it click the play button below.
I am a firm believer that you should never settle for less than what you deserve. If you are wondering if you are settling in a relationship then you probably are. People who are 100% satisfied in their relationship rarely feel like they are settling. I cannot tell you how many women that have I counseled and they are great women but they are stuck settling in a relationship wondering where it all went wrong. Therefore, in this post I am going to give you:
- Some common complaints on what settling in a relationship look like.
- Common reasons why people settle in relationships.
- Why you should not settle in a relationship.
- And what not settling for a relationship looks like.
1. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ What settling in a relationship looks like
Never settle for less than what you deserve. When women are settling for less in a relationship, oftentimes they do not realize it. A common thing that women tend to do (especially in the beginning) is trying to outline the few semi-positive things a man does for them out of all of the bad and tries to make it seem like the relationship is good.
And some women go above and beyond to prove themselves to a man in a relationship when in all actuality the man is getting all the perks and the woman is just settling which I talk about in my YouTube video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
2. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ Common complaints of women settling in a relationship:
- He cheats on me
- He hurts me
- He calls me names
- He puts me down
- He ignores me
- He pays attention to other women more than me
- He does not like my kids
- We argue all the time
- He tells me that he can do better.
- He is unmotivated while I am highly motivated.
- He expects me to take care of him.
In a good relationship, you should not be chasing a man (see my blog here) or trying to convince yourself that your man loves you. You should just know that he loves you. Because love is an action. It is something that you do, it should not be something that a woman tries to convince herself that she has in a relationship when there is no other indication of love. If you have to try to convince yourself as to the reason why you are in a relationship then you are probably settling.
3. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ Common reasons why people are settling in a relationship
Some of the common reasons why women are settling in a relationship are because they have not yet found that you should never settle for less than what you deserve and:
A. There is a belief that there are not enough men to go around and so a woman takes whatever she can get.
B. Because many women are scared of being alone and so they settle for any man (even a bad one) over no man at all.
C. Because many women may have daddy issues or they do not know what a positive relationship even is. Therefore, they just settle for whatever man bats an eye at them.
D. The woman has low self-esteem and does not feel that she can get a good quality man or that she is worthy of love. So she just accepts any man and anybody.
4. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ When You Stop Settling In A Relationship.
The reason why I wanted to start off with why people are settling in relationships is that the fact of the matter is that some of their worries and their fears about being alone are very much so true. We are living in a world where men can have their cake and eat it too and it may be harder and harder for you to find a good quality man that is on your level to settle down with.
There are so many women willing to cheat with your man, there are so many women willing to fight you over your man, and there are so many men that want to go out here and do what they want to do with every woman that walks simply because they can. This is not to say that good men do not exist they do. But it may take a little longer to find one of them. Any woman can walk out of her house and find any man that wants to sleep with her and possibly be with her on any given day.
But it takes a little bit more patience and perhaps a lot more lonely nights to wait for a high-caliber man that is equally yoked with you. Not settling may mean that you may have some more time alone because many men are not willing to put forth the effort that it takes to be with you.
It may even mean that you need to cut some people off that you have been back and forth with for the past few years. It may mean you may spend some Saturday and Friday nights alone. You can also watch my video below on what being equally yoked in a relationship really is.
5. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ The Real On Why You Should Stop Settling In A Relationship
I know what you may be thinking. If settling in a relationship means that you are going to be in a relationship faster and walking down the aisle faster then hey why not do it. All of that seems all fine and dandy now but I promise you, you will grow to regret it.
I have counseled many couples that after only months of marriage or even a few years of marriage they were ready to get a divorce. And the main reason is that they settled in the marriage. They knew they were settling in the marriage before they got married BUT because they wanted to get married they went on with the relationship.
And many times like I said, they just overlooked some of the red flags because they just wanted to be in a relationship. But once the wedding is over and all the newness of being in a relationship is over, then you are the one that is going to be stuck with this person. And if you feel like you are settling then you are not going to be happy.
So what would you prefer, settling in a relationship and getting married faster and probably having a bad relationship? Or being single longer and having more alone time but knowing that when you do get into a relationship that it will give you more fulfillment and happiness?
6. Never Settle For Less Than What You Deserve ~ What Does Not Settling In A Relationship Look Like?
When I talk about not settling in a relationship, then the relationship should be mutually beneficial to both parties. Both people should feel like they are winning in a relationship and neither person should feel like they are being used or taken advantage of.
As long as you BOTH feel that you are putting something into the relationship and you BOTH feel like you are equally getting something out of the relationship and your needs are being met; that is what I like to call not settling. And only you can determine what that is. Because only you know what you want from a relationship and what you need from a partner. And when in doubt remember:
“A person that loves you is not going to say and do things to intentionally to hurt you. “
If you know someone that may be settling in a relationship then feel free to share this post with her.
It’s sad when women don’t see their true worth and allow men to treat them so terribly. We are loved and valued, so much, that Christ died for us.
Thank you for linking with Grace and Truth last week.
And thank you for the comment.