Expert Advice On How To Pull Yourself Out Of Depression Starting Today

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In this post, I am going to address how to pull yourself out of depression no matter what. And as a mental health professional, doctor, and National Certified counselor. the techniques I am about to share with you are some of the same techniques that I have shared with actual clients of mine. 

And even myself. Even as a mental health professional I suffered from depression when I was going through a hard time in my life. You can watch the video below to see how I dealt with my depression and don’t forget to click here to subscribe to my channel.

I know what you may be saying. “But Sophia, I am clinically depressed and I take medication.”

Now that is all fine and dandy but I want you to consider this. Although taking medication is NOT bad, I always encourage anyone to also use life-changing interventions in order to change their depressive state.

That is a really nice way of saying that you need to change the way you do some things in your life and not just rely on medication.

1. How to pull yourself out of depression ~ Learn To Control Your Emotions

The fact of the matter is that no one is going to feel as sorry for you as you feel for yourself (read my blog here). The first step in learning how to pull yourself out of depression is to realize that you have more control over your emotions than you think (read my blog here on being master of your emotions). 

You can blame your depression for all of your problems if you want to but do not give in to depression and allow it to just take over your body and control everything you do.  Start to tell yourself that you have some say so in how you feel, how you act, and how you behave.  

And start to CHOOSE yes CHOOSE to feel differently. It may take some positive self-talk at first. You may do affirmations (which you can click here to get my ebook of affirmations) and say them every day until you believe them. This is the first step in learning to get ahold of the negative emotions and start to shift them into positive ones.

2. How to pull yourself out of depression ~ You Have Depression Don’t Become Depression

One thing I used to tell my clients is yes you have depression but you are not depression. That is just like if you had a common cold, you do not become the cold you just have a cold. Big difference. Separating yourself from depression in this way will obviously teach you that your depression is not a permanent fixture in your life. But it’s like a common cold. Sometimes you have it but MOST of the time you don’t have a cold. Therefore:

When you want to learn how to pull yourself out of depression you can choose to sit in your depression or you can choose to do something about it. 

  • You have to stop telling yourself all the negative things you say to yourself on an everyday basis. 

  • When you sit in negativity, that is not going to help you or your depression.  It is just going to cause you to sink deeper into it. Choose to say positive affirmations every day over negative ones. And really force yourself to believe what you are saying.

  • Choose to get out and live life no matter how you feel instead of sitting there and feeling like life is just passing you by. 

  • Reframe your situation. Instead of looking at what you are going through as something negative, look at it as a temporary situation that will make you stronger if you get through it. (check out my blog on that).

How to pull yourself out of depression ~ Case and point

When I was depressed, I chose to go to God and even better He used my mistakes, sadness, and downfalls as a platform to be able to help others (hence you reading this blog). I did not understand WHY I was going through what I was going through (click here to read more). I thought that it would break me.

But when I kept going I found that what I went through would be used to inspire others.   That is what happens when you stop playing the victim. You no longer see your depression as something that is happening to you, but you wonder what you can do to make it work for you. Watch the video below where I talk about that depressive situation in my life.

3. How To Pull Yourself Out Of Depression ~ Remember You Cannot Control Other People

How to pull yourself out of depression True story. A friend recently told me that a few years ago they tried to commit suicide because they felt no one cared about them and they felt unloved. The advice that I gave them is the same advice I am going to give to you. 

You cannot look to other people to make you happy, because if you do you will always be let down.  You cannot look toward a husband, wife, girlfriend, friends, children, or any “person” in this world to fulfill your complete happiness.

This is because eventually whether intentionally or not, they are going to fall short. And when they do, if you are putting your complete and total happiness in them it is going to cause you to fall, and it is going to cause you to fall hard hence being depressed. And in this instance, you would be willing to end your life based on how other people feel about you? 

As an individual, you have to be able to regulate also known as having self-regulation. self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you’re upset and cheer yourself up when you’re down. (source). 

Meaning that your own emotions should not be affected by the shortcomings of others. You will be able to regulate your own emotions no matter what is going on in the world around you. You can only control you not anyone else.

Life will let you down, I am sorry to say that. Friends and family will die before their time, you will lose your job, struggle in your finances, struggle to pay bills, struggle in relationships, be in bad relationships, be the black sheep of the family, and the list can go on and on.   I cannot think of one person in the world that has not gone through something, and although it is okay to be sad and mourn.

Instead, learn how to practice self-regulation. You be the source of your own emotions and do not put it on anyone and anything else. Also, check out my video below where I read an excerpt from my book (Fix It Jesus For Single Women Only) and I explain self-regulation and how it ties into depression.

4. How To Pull Yourself Out Of Depression ~ Put Things into Perspective

When I played the victim of my circumstances once I got all depressed in a situation I was in. God reminded me of something. This may sound cliche, but the message hit me hard.  I was watching the show Life Today and children who did not have clean water. I watched village person after village person go to a dirty lake, fill up their containers, and drink.

The water was not even clear but brown and dirty.  They knew the water was contaminated but they had no choice but to drink it. Risking getting sick and dying. The alternative was to get dehydrated and get sick and die. . But literally it was a lose-lose situation. 

In that moment I decided to put things in perspective. Because any given day, I could walk to a faucet and get clean water and not worry about dying from it. This was a turning point for me I realized that the same things and situations that you may be depressed about there are someone somewhere in this world that would LOVE to trade lives with you. 

There was once a TED talk that showed people living in poverty that were happy and people who were rich and were depressed. What it all came down to was perspective. The people who had less were happy because of how they perceived their situation. Those who were sad were sad because of how they perceived their situation. So change your viewpoint and choose the positive in your life over the negative.  And actively choosing NOT to complain. You can watch my video below on how complaining actual can make things worst for you.

5. How to pull yourself out of depression ~ Nothing Is Permanent Until You Are Dead

Every day you wake up, your situation has the opportunity to change and things have a chance to turn around. It will always be that way until you are dead in your grave. 

With that being said, try to focus on that as opposed to focusing on what you do not have, what you are not, or what other people have done to you. As long as there is a tomorrow thing can change. No matter if you believe it or not you can choose to think a different way.  Instead of feeling depressed, choose to be thankful for what you do have (also check out my blog on tips for thinking positive).

One of the ways for how to pull yourself out of depression is to choose to be thankful for another day to improve your situation and ask God for wisdom to guide your path and to make things right for you.  The longer you fester in a mode in which you feel sorry for yourself, the deeper and deeper you will sink.  Every day, waking up, regretting that you are here.  Feeling sorry for yourself day in and day out.  That gets old and it gets tired.  You will get exhausted. AND you will get more depressed. 

Depression takes a lot of energy.  This is why you must learn how to pull yourself out of depression. Why not put that same energy into doing something else.  Doing what you can do to change your situation and simply choosing to not let the negative thoughts overcome you.  Choose to believe that things will get better and your situation is just that, a situation that will not last.  Focus on the better times ahead of you and actively work in your present life toward bringing those better times into existence.

So in order to learn how to pull yourself out of depression, it is important to learn to roll with the punches AND come out on top as opposed to being knocked down and staying knocked down.

Everyone has their own burdens to bear.  But not everyone sits around feeling depressed.  The people who come out on top are the people who do not allow the negative emotions to consume them and to allow adverse situations to make them better.  That is what we call resiliency.

I really hoped these tips helped teach you how to pull yourself out of depression. If you know someone who may be suffering from depression then feel free to share this post with them. 

And to help shift you into that positive mindset, feel free to get my Christian manifestation guide, full of positive affirmations along with Bible verses that will help change your mindset. Click here to buy.


  1. Your photos are great; very original and puts things in perspective. Especially in being grateful for what we do have. There’s a great message here, and it’s that ultimately we are in control of our psycho-social behavior. We may not be in full control of our thoughts and emotions, but we have the ability to steer them in a more positive direction once we catch them straying to the “dark side.” I think that it takes time after a loss or disappointment to get to that place though. You get to a point where you are tired of mourning, and that’s when you say “I’m done.”

    • So you think you can will your way out of endogenous depression? How about decades of “just depression” that’s bipolar depression? all of the things you mentioned can be great to support medical treatment, but you can’t “will” your way out of genetic disorders. Depression is a disease of the brain. That’s like saying I can “will” my way out of cancer.

      • As a mental health professional myself and as someone who has worked with people with depression I will say this. First I really hope that you would real my article in its entirely. As stated medication does help. But medication is not a cure. As with any medication the dosage would have to increase as your body gets used to it and I do not think that anyone should forever be on medication to control mental illness. Medication is a temporary means to cope. In fact, psychiatrist and doctors recommend therapy and/counseling in conjunction with medication. As they understand medication is not a cure but learning means to cope is. It is to teach the individual strategies to help deal with their mental illness. As I am certified in treating PTSD as well. You can research Prolonged exposure therapy which is counseling technique used to retrain the mind, to not experience the traumatic stress. And it is advised that one is taken off of medication when going through this, so that the mind can be retrained out of PTSD. PTSD is also something that is a diagnosis that can be treated with “will” or perhaps in vivo exposure. So yes. My education, training, tells me that what I am saying can be done. Thanks for your comment. And as a brief definition of prolonged exposure therapy so that you can understand the actual retraining of the mind or as you say “will.”

        In PE therapy, individuals are asked to approach — in both imaginary and real-life settings — situations, places, and people they have been avoiding. The repeated exposure to the perceived threat disconfirms individuals’ expectations of experiencing harm and over time leads to a reduction in their fear.

        So yes, your mind and the ability confront the things that you are feature or depressed about can actually cause you to heal. So do not underestimate the power of the human brain to heal itself.

  2. This was an amazing pist very touchinga nd so true on every word thanks for sharing this, i just sent this to a friend to encourage her so she knows she will come through no matter what.
    have a lovely day

  3. I learned a long time ago that I am the only one who can make me happy. I have also learned that God is the lover of our souls and in and through Him we can do amazing things. Thank you for these reminders! I have been in a funk lately- continually comparing myself to others and feeling like a total nothing. Thank you for reminding me that I really just need to change my perspective.

  4. This is a lovely post and I have been there…so easy to fall in the trap of feeling sorry for yourself! Turning to God is the absolute only way to go..really enjoyed this inspo!!

    Fashion and Travel

  5. On point! It can be very fulfilling to have good people in your life who make you happy but relying on them for your happiness is an entirely different story. For too long I was dependent. It is so empowering to take your whole life into your own hands.

  6. This post came at the right time, I am in a bad situation financially, emotionally and physically and while its hard I am trying my best to push through all my troubles.

  7. Choose to do something about it. I know a woman who is always looking at the negative in everything. I understand some people suffer from depression and need help. Look around everyday and tell yourself 10 things you are thankful for, makes a difference.

  8. This is so true! You have to take charge of your own life and find what makes you happy. You absolutely cannot look to others to fill whatever hole you have in your life. You have to make a conscious decision to pull yourself out of the funk and move forward.

  9. Thank you for sharing. It’s so easy for me to feel sorry for myself at times. I do like your example of the village drinking dirty water. It’s so true. We have so many things to be thankful for. It doesn’t mean what we’re going through doesn’t matter, it just means we need to be grateful for what we do have. Thank you for your honesty. 🙂

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