How To Pick Yourself Up When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

To listen to the blog post “When You Don’t Feel Good Enough Or Pretty Enough” over reading it then click the play button below. 

When you don’t feel good enough or pretty enough then remember that is a very normal feeling.  Because the fact of the matter is that no matter how good we are there will always be someone better, no matter how pretty we are, there will be someone prettier.

I know that this is supposed to be a blog about how to make you feel better.  But the key to having high self-confidence is knowing that if how you feel about yourself is contingent upon other people, then you are always going to be fighting an uphill battle.

I have always considered myself a pretty person but one of life’s lessons I learned is that someone will ALWAYS be prettier. I mean really, no matter how pretty you think you are someone will always be prettier and no matter how smart you think you are someone will always be someone smarter, and no matter how good you are there will always be someone better.

I know the opening of this post sounds like I am just encouraging you to have low self-esteem and go fester in depression. But I promise you this post is not about making you feel bad about yourself by pointing out that there is someone better than you. It is actually about the opposite. To prove my point I actually want to start off with a little story and then we can go from there about what I mean.

For more tips on self-esteem check out my video below. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.

When You Don’t Feel Good Enough Or Pretty Enough ~ Case In Point

When you don’t feel good enough I want to tell you a story. A few years back when I was in my Master’s program, I and a couple of friends went to Hooters to get something to eat. While we were there I ran into some guys, one guy, in particular, where we talked and he bought me a drink and he seems very interested in me. I mean really he GUSHED over me. To him, I was the pretty girl in the room. Until I wasn’t.  About an hour and a half later another student from my Master’s program walked in.

Suddenly, the guy I was talking to attention quickly went to her.  He kept complimenting how beautiful she was (she was beautiful), how wonderful she looked, her skin, and her hair, and how good she smelled. And in case she did not hear him.

He said it over and over again. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  Literally, I was sitting right next to him. He noticed her so much that he forgot about me. Or maybe he just noticed her so much that he did not care what I thought about it. He wanted to impress her and I was now the second prettiest girl in the room.

It was then that I learned a valuable lesson. No matter how pretty you are there is always someone prettier. And normally I would say to myself “well at least I am getting my Master’s” and then even if the girl was prettier than me, I could still feel good about myself for being more educated.  But of course, with both of us being Master’s level students, this was not the case.

But then.  I had a “who cares” moment (read my blog here on the who cares girl).  I was not one of those girls that were going to make a fool out of myself for some guy that I just met and that I barely even knew. So what that he thought she was more attractive? I did not fight for his attention.  I did not get mad at her nor did I get mad at him. Who cares about what he thought about me anyway. I quickly learned, just because there will always be someone prettier than you, does not mean that you have to diminish your own self-worth in your own eyes.

When You Don’t Feel Good Enough ~ What’s my point

In my book for single women (which you can buy here) I made the following point about something called self-regulation.

When you don’t feel good enough ~ Excerpt from my book

Self-regulation means that YOU and only YOU have the ability to control yourself, your behavior, and your actions without the influence of other people. Depending on someone else to complete you is the opposite of having good self-regulation.

What I am trying to say is that:

“If you are resting on OTHER people’s validation of your looks, your intellect, or even how you feel about yourself you are going to have a miserable existence.”

Is the fact that a man chose to flirt with someone else over you going to make you feel bad about yourself or is the fact that your ex-boyfriend chose her over you going to make you check yourself into a psych ward? If so then, you do not have good self-regulation. Meaning that instead of YOU thinking and knowing that you are enough you are basing your value on what other people think about you.

When You Don’t Feel Good Enough Or Pretty Enough Here’s What To Do

So at this point, you may realize that you need to have good self-regulation and you may be wondering what you need to do to get it. In order to prove my point, I want to take the following quote:

There are a lot of people out there who may be more talented than me, maybe better looking than me, they may be stronger, taller, and faster than me, but they’re not going to work harder than me.”Terrence J

What I have come to realize and what you need to realize is that I am not the most perfect person.  Not the prettiest, not the smartest, do not make the most money.  But one thing I can guarantee is that I am happy with ME. Because on any given day I can look in the mirror and tell myself all the GOOD things about myself that I love that other person may not have. I am focused, I am a hard worker, and I am going to get to where I need to be, I am successful, I am a good person, I believe in myself, AND I am willing to move heaven and earth to get what I want out of life.

when you don't feel good enough

So although I may not be the best. I am still satisfied with all of the things that I BRING to the table. I may be pretty but I am not JUST my pretty. And because I am satisfied with the full package that makes up me I am happy with myself. It does not matter who is prettier because no matter who she is, she isn’t me.

So if you are one of those people who are always down on yourself because someone is always doing something better than you or someone is prettier then remember, the world has billions of people BUT NONE OF THEM are not you.  And the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people who used their flaws, their uniqueness, and the fact that they are NOT like everyone else to stand out. So instead of being focused on another chick being prettier than you, be satisfied and content with what you bring to the table.

If you know someone that needs to read this information and needs a good dose of self-esteem then share this post with them.

AND, I have something for you. It is my Christian Manifestation Guide for affirmation for self-esteem and more. Just click here or the picture below.


  1. I still would have been calling this guy some not nice names in my head though. I had the same notion when I was in my Master’s program. I initially thought I was ahead of everyone and then I got a reality check. But reality checks are good, as long as you don’t give up.

  2. Loved this post although that guy sounds like a total jerk…(thats putting it lightly). It’s always good to get a fresh view but keep looking up and forward.

  3. Uggghhhhh why are there so many guys like that in the world? It’s so disappointing. Sorry you went through that but it sounds like you got an interesting lesson out of it regardless. Nice post!

  4. Sounds like you fished out the dbag! I consider this a good thing 🙂 It’s a little different but your post reminds me of the quote by Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

    xoxo, Sam |

  5. You can’t get caught up on comparisons to others. I know that’s easier said than done but it’s so true. I like the quote ” the only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday” something like that.

  6. Such an important message and for us to also teach our kids. We all have something to offer, and we all sometimes feel insecure but this is a great message about how great we all are. 🙂

  7. I love your message here, and really identify with what you are saying about hard work! When I was younger, my mom actually used to remind me that there were others out there smarter, prettier, taller, etc. than myself. It was a very motivating and humbling way to snap myself back to reality, and get back to work.

  8. LOVE this post! It is so true! I actually had a guy friend in the 7th grade tell me, “Emily, there will always be someone prettier” and that has stuck with me ever since. After living in LA, boy is it true!! The point is to love yourself, no matter what anyone else has to offer. Perfection is death and comparison is the anti-progress!

  9. Great post! We all have our individual strengths and that is what we should focus on rather than focusing on our weaknesses. I’ve figured out living a life of comparison will always have you feeling down anyways. Great message!

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