To listen to the blog post “Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself Because No One Else Will” over reading it just click the play button below.
In this post, I am going to tell you how and why you should stop feeling sorry for yourself. The fact of the matter is when you sit around feeling sorry for yourself, the more you become the victim in your own eyes, and the more victim you become in your own eyes the more you are not doing anything. Not succeeding at anything, and the more that you are sitting around watching life pass you by because you somehow feel that the world, someone, or something has done you wrong.
I also feel that this can be defined as the spirit of entitlement which I have a video on below that you can watch and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel.
The main reason why people start to feel sorry for themselves is that they feel stuck or because they feel as if their life or friends are passing them by. They will start to feel that life has handed them this raw deal or something bad has happened to them, and there is no way that they can move from it. They start to feel like they are the only one that has ever had (fill in the blank problem) and therefore life is surely not fair.
Everyone is getting a promotion. Everyone is getting married. Everyone is having kids, everyone makes more money, everyone is happier. I do not have this, I am not that, people treat me like this and then before you know it your life turns into an eternal black hole of complaints and excuses.
That is why in this post I am going to teach you how to stop feeling sorry for yourself and if you are a reader of my blog then you should already know that you are going to get a big hard dose of the cold hard truth. Not because I want to hurt your feelings but because I want to wake you up and keep you from sitting around and allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity.
You ready, let’s get into it.
First, Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself Because People Get Hurt, Join The Club
So what your boyfriend broke up with you, so what someone was mean to you, so what your parents got a divorce, so what you parent spanked you when you were younger and so what you lost your job. Yes, these things suck but these things have happened to the rest of the world. Including myself (check out my blog of when I was struggling). The fact of the matter is that everyone has a story, everyone has something bad that has happened to them, and no one’s life is perfect. So for you to sit around feeling sorry for yourself for experiencing “pain” in life my response to you would be to say join the club. So has everyone else.
I can almost bet for everything that you have gone through and you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself about there is someone out there who has mastered the same issues that you feel are breaking you. Instead of getting all down and out about what has been done to you how about be change it into something else.
- If people don’t believe in you, so what let that be your motivation to prove them wrong by succeeding in life.
- If no one wants to be your friend. So what get new ones.
- If people have hurt your feeling so what learn to ignore them.
- If you are depressed then changed your mindset and pull yourself out of it.
“Instead of becoming a victim of your situation, learn to conquer it, get over it, and turn it into something positive.”
Everyone has something bad that has happened in their life and that is called a big so what.
Second, Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself, Because No One Else Is
Do you even think that the person who has hurt you is sitting around feeling sorry for you or that they even know and/or care that you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself based on something that they did to you? I hate to break it to you but they are not. Most people are out enjoying their life not thinking about you while you are stuck feeling sorry for yourself spending all your time thinking about them. No one is going to sit around and care that things are not going right for you. And even if people tell you they are feeling sorry for you, 9 times out of 10 they aren’t.
“Never sit around and think that you are the center of someone else’s universe and that people are going to throw you a pity party just because you are throwing yourself one. “
While you are sitting around complaining about what is not being done for you the people you know are going out and living their best life not even caring about what is going on with you. Being around people who feel sorry for themselves is exhausting, it is mentally draining, and it is a waste of time. No one is going to want to be around someone that sucks the life out of everything because they want to throw themselves a pity party.
If there is one thing that you can take from this tip is that people are not feeling sorry for you even if they were the ones who did something to you. You also cannot expect your friends and family to feel sorry for you because it is not their responsibility and no one wants to be around someone like that. So if no one else is sitting around feeling sorry for you then you mine as well stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Third, Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself Because You Can Control It
Remember this. We cannot control everything in life but there are choices that we can make. You may not be able to control things and MAKE them go the way you want them to go but you can control your attitude, your happiness, if you allow situations to overwhelm you, and if you throw yourself a pity party. One thing that I cannot stand is when people make excuses, blame everyone else, treat life as if everything is beyond their control. Or act like life is happening to them and there is nothing they can do about it.
You have more power than you think. You have more choices than you think and you can do more about your situation than you think. Therefore, it is better to utilize those options as opposed to sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing. Do what you can do about your situation and you will be amazed at how things can turn around for you.
Fourth, Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself & Get Rid Of The Spirit Of Entitlement.
Many people have a spirit of entitlement and feel sorry for themselves based on what the world is not giving them. Some people act like they cannot go online and even fill out a simple job application and then get mad when they are unemployed and broke. Some people get mad that they cannot find a better job when they won’t even do a good job at the job they have (also check out my blog on why you are not getting a promotion).
Some people want to be a lawyer and then complain when they have to go to law school. Always complaining about the things you have to work for when every other person who wants to be a lawyer has gone to law school. But you somehow feel an exception needs to be made for you.
And when an exception is not made for you based on simple things that everyone else in this world has to do, people somehow feel like the world is against them. If people do not want to help you out then you can find a way around it (Click here to read my blog for more on this topic).
Case in point:
You may be saying
“Sophia, you are college-educated. You do not know what it is like to go without, or be unemployed, or struggle.”
Well, that is where you are wrong. When I graduated undergrad I worked at the minimum wage job that I had in college for several months before landing another job and had trouble paying my rent and buying food. I applied for 10-15 jobs a day until I got a better one! And even in that job I landed as a Juvenile Correctional Officer, only a high school diploma was required AND although it was a salary job, it was NOT a “good-paying job.” It was a lot of hard work. Working 12-16 hours a day, while getting cursed at and breaking up fights all day. I hated it! You can watch my video down below for more of my income struggles.
Within my career. I have had to endure pay cuts, layoffs, and being in unstable companies that went out of business. I have had to struggle and I have gotten down and out about it but I never gave up. Life is life, you will endure hardship and go through trials. There were times where I had the “feeling sorry for yourself” mentality but I quickly realized that got me nowhere. I had to get up and make things better on my own. I could not expect people to just give me handouts because I was me.
When you are stuck feeling sorry for yourself, that is not going to get you a new job, pay your rent, or get things done around the house. I hate and I repeat I hate when people have the feeling sorry for yourself mindset and they blame everyone for the life that they have screwed up. If you messed up your own life no one is responsible for what you have done. Your parents are not responsible, the government is not responsible, your boyfriend is not responsible….you are responsible.
Life will pass you by if you let it pass you by (Check out my blog you only get one life). You cannot control everything that happens in the world but you can control yourself. You can control whether you are feeling sorry for yourself. You can control what you do, how hard you work, and what your goals in life are going to be (Check out my blog on how to set goals).
Last, Change Your Mindset
In the words of Isaac Newton for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Meaning that if you feel sorry for yourself that is what you will get. If you work hard at something then eventually you will get the same type of input and if you change your mindset to something positive then that is what you will get back.
Do not do something mediocre for five years and then wonder why you are not seeing any fruits of your labor. If you do a bad job then you will see the results of a bad job. If you are lazy then you will see the results from being lazy. But eventually, if you really want something out of life and you are really putting your all into it, you will see the result of that.
I have learned that most people who are successful have failed miserably. And not just once but they have failed a whole bunch of times. But it was their drive, determination, and a shift in their mindset that led them to that one opportunity that turned out to be an opportunity of a lifetime.
And never once did they sit around feeling sorry for themselves expecting for something to just happen because they are them. Never once did they just give up because things were not happening the way they wanted them to. So change your mindset from feeling sorry for yourself to believe that you can do better with your life.
Live your own life. I hate to see anyone sit around on social media trolling their friend’s Facebook pages, asking themselves why they do not have someone else’s life (see my blog here on jealousy). And then they have the nerve to post depressing Facebook messages about how much their life sucks, how unhappy they are, or how they wish they had a life like everyone else.
They want other people to feel sorry for them because they do not have the life that other people have worked their butt off to have. I will be the bearer of bad news and tell you this. You don’t have a life like everyone else because you are not everyone else, you are you. And if you stop being so pressed about someone else’s life and be that pressed about your life, then guess what? Your life can be equally awesome but in a way that is befitting to you.
Life waits for no one. No one is sitting around feeling sorry for you as much are feeling sorry for yourself. No fairy godmother is going to pop out of the sky and make all of your dreams come true and make all of your problems go away. You have to put in some work, you have to make a change within, and you have to change your mindset.
“Everyone has problems. The difference between those who sit around feeling sorry for themselves and the ones that master life’s problems are that one is sitting around and one is up and mastering life’s problems. “