Is It Love Or Lust Or Infatuation? 8 Ways To Tell The Difference

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Are you in love or lust?  Do you even know the difference? In this post, I am going to tell you the difference between love and infatuation and even lust because there are many of you walking around getting yourselves into bad relationships because you do not know the difference. You may be calling your purely sexual relationship “love” when in reality it is just “lust.” And you may be calling your “infatuation,”     “love” when really you are simply obsessed over someone.

  • The crazy thing about love, lust, and infatuation is that they can all resemble each other BUT love can never be infatuation, infatuation can never be lust, and lust can never be love”

They are not the same thing no matter what your emotions tell you.  SO, as always I am here to help you out. I am going to talk to you about love, lust, and infatuation. I am also going to point out the difference between each.

So let’s get into it. Shall We?

1. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation~ What is Infatuation anyway? 

According to the dictionary, infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Therefore infatuation is not something that is long-lasting, normally it is an admiration for someone WITHOUT seeing the reality of the situation.

2. What Is Infatuation? ~ Case in Point

I had a friend who was messing with this man for several years. The man was REALLY attractive, had a nice car, had a nice house, and made a lot of money.  These are the things my friend “loved” about him.  During the course of my friend messing with this man, he got another girlfriend, he had his girlfriend move into his huge house, and then he finally got MARRIED to this girlfriend.

Throughout the several years of them interacting with each other he would promise her that she would be his girlfriend and that he would start a real relationship with her.  But that never happened.  Instead, he got married to someone else. My friend never left him despite the fact that he was not that into her. Because all she saw was him being fine, with a six-pack, a nice car, and a four-bedroom house.

There are the things that she admired about him, he had things that made him a good man BUT note that even though he had these things, these are not things that he shared with her, nor were they even things that she benefited from. She looked at what he had, felt he was a good man, but overlooked the fact that he was not a good man to her. All of what he has is now being currently shared with his wife. The person that he loves.

3. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation ~ So why was my friend in infatuation and not love?

She just loved his stuff and the possible life that she felt she could have with him. She was blinded to the actual reality of the situation. That her affection was only one-sided and he was not returning the same affection for her. Infatuation is when you hang on for the possibility of love when you fail to see the reality of the situation, and only see the situation for what it could be.

Infatuation can be that you only see the type of man he could become or the fact that you are really just obsessed over a man when in reality it is a just obsession that is not a real relationship. He may treat you badly or not even share the same emotion as you, but you claim that you love him back when really there is nothing about your interaction that would spell love or a long-term relationship.   Instead of seeing the reality of the actual situation you just live in the reality that you have created in your head.

I also have a video below where I did a case study on infatuation and actual love.  Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel.

4. What is Infatuation and How to Avoid It

Be real with yourself. Really sit down and ask yourself why you “love” this person. If it is because of their looks, what they have, of the type of man that you think they can be to you then that is not love.  After you come up with that answer, then asked yourself if they feel the same way about you.  Love is two-sided, infatuation is one-sided. If you are the only one giving in the relationship then you are more than likely infatuated with him and not in love.

5. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation ~ What is Lust?

The definition of lust according to the dictionary it is having a very strong sexual desire for someone. Therefore, you know that you are in lust if all you have is a sexual relationship with this person.

6. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation ~ Case in point

You can also check out my blog on lust but I once had yet another friend who was in lust with a man. They never went out in public, never went on a date, they never really did anything but have sex.  The sex was so good that she hung on to this “relationship” for three years! And the only thing they did was have sex.  That was their only real connection just the sex. There was no meaningful conversation or even meeting each other’s friends and family.  My friend came to her senses and realized that the only thing they had in common was good sex.

And she tried to turn their casual hookup into an actual relationship, only to be disappointed that he did not want that. He did not want to take her out on a date and was okay with their strictly sexual relationship. The key to understanding lust is that physical attraction and sex changes the way your brain processes the relationship. Hormones are released when women have sex with men.  Causing them to attach and making the woman think there is a love connection when really it is just lust, not love.

7. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation ~ How to Avoid Lust

Do not have sex with anyone that you are not in a real monogamous relationship. I personally am a huge fan of celibacy for this reason. It can be hard for either of you to fall into lust if you are not having sex. This is a sure way not to fall into lust and to ensure that someone wants to be with you for the right reasons. Hold out on sex until you have some type of serious formal commitment.  Such as marriage.  Even being boyfriend and girlfriend does not guarantee that you are not in lust.

I have a video on lust that will give you a better idea on this topic, be sure to watch it below. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here. 

8. Love Or Lust Or Infatuation ~ What is Love Anyway?

The very best definition of love as I like to see it come directly from the Bible and it states:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts always hopes, and always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love Or Lust Or  what is Infatuation

I also have a blog post on what real love is and also a video that you can check out below.  But, If you ever want to know if you are in love then just go through this verse and compare the relationship you are in into this verse and even replace it with the word love in the above verse with the person that you feel you are in love with’s name. Are they patient, kind to you or are they always angry with you and putting you down?

Nothing is perfect but knowing the difference between love or lust, is that when it comes to the act of love you should actually feel loved. It is important that you feel love for this person BUT ALSO, that person feels the same way about you.  When you love someone they are not going to hurt you, curse you out, cheat on you, or beat you.  Someone who loves you will be with you through the good times and the bad, and even though they may get mad at you; their anger is not going to keep them from loving you.

They are not going to lie to you and if you make them mad one day, a month from now they should not be mad at you about the same thing, because love does not hold grudges. Love is not just having sex with someone, and the sex is so good that you cannot walk away. That is lust. Love is not being so obsessed with a person’s looks, money, car, house, or job that you feel that they are a good catch. That is infatuation. Love is beyond all of that.

With all of this being said I really hope that you understand the difference between love or lust or infatuation and you are able to tell the difference. Remember, measure up each and every one of your relationships to this basic definition of love, lust, and infatuation so that you can understand which one you are in and if pursuing your relationship is even worth your time.

If you know someone who needs to know the difference between love, lust, and infatuation then goes ahead and share this post with them.

Plus, I have something free for you. It is the first chapter of my book for single women (which you can read about and by here). If you want to get the first chapter of my book for single women for free all you have to do is just click here or the picture below and it will be given to you. Christian single women

2 Comments

  1. For a relationship to be successful, may you need a little bit of each one ….. You can be very much in love , but what if the lust is no longer there ?

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