To listen to the blog post “6 Tips To Help You Never Settle In Relationships Again” press the play button below.
In this post, I am going to tell you how to never settle and how to get what you deserve in a relationship. The fact of the matter is that so many of you are sitting around in a bad relationship wondering why you are treated like trash, wondering why you are coming last in a relationship, or why you keep getting bad men who give you less than what you deserve.
The entire premise of this post to never settle but is going to teach you to get what YOU deserve by changing what you accept. Notice that the operative word is YOU. You cannot change your boyfriend nor can you change someone and make them love you. What you can do is change yourself. You can change what you accept, you can change how you let people treat you, and if the man in your life is not willing to treat you the way you feel you need to be treated then YOU can get up and leave.
And most importantly, never settle. Because the moment you do you will set yourself back. Now that you understand that in this post you will learn how to get what you deserve by controlling yourself, your actions, and what you tolerate we can get into the post.
1. Never Settle & Get What You Deserve By Knowing What You Deserve.
The main reason why women settle and get into crappy relationships with crappy men is that they feel like that is the relationship they deserve or they feel like cannot do any better. These types of women adopt the mentality that a man is better than no man and therefore it does not matter if he is a bad man that is treating her like crap because at least she has one.
Now, if you feel like you deserve a bad relationship then that is what you will get. Remember, we cannot change him but we can change you so YOU need to figure out what do you deserve. As a woman, you need to know your worth (read my blog on the virtuous woman).
You have to believe that you are worth more than some bad relationship, some bad man, and you have to have the self-esteem to ONLY get into relationships or date men that match what you feel you deserve. If they don’t I do not care how cute they are you need to pass on them. From now on decide that you will no longer waste your time on men that are not worth your time.
When you never settle learn some self-esteem, learn that you deserve the best man, and learn that if someone is not trying to treat you the way that you want to be treated that it is okay to walk away and be single. Do not feel that you have to be the victim of a relationship that is not giving you want. Once you have determined what you deserve then you will start to behave like you deserve that. You will start to say to yourself
“wait, I am a high-value woman. I know what I bring to the table and I do not have to be with a man who does not work, who mistakes my kindness for weakness, and who is not willing to give me the life that I want.”
Also, check out my video if you suffer from self-confidence to find out how you can fix it. And click here to subscribe to my channel.
2. Never Settle But Also Have Self Reflection
I have seen women who are continuously doing the same dumb thing time and time again falling for the same type of no-good man and then wonder why they get the same no-good crap. I also wrote about this in my other blog on how you contribute to your own hardship, click here to read it. It is like that old saying goes “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice then shame on me.” If you keep getting less than what you deserve in a relationship then you need to have a self-reflective moment.
- Why do you keep falling for the same type of men?
- What red flags are you missing?
- Self-awareness plays a part in the type of relationships you find yourself in.
Sometimes women want to blame the other person as to why their relationship is a mess when really they are the reason why their relationship is a mess. They play a part in the disaster of a relationship.
And then blame the man for not treating you better when really it is you. You may be too needy, a nag, or just a horror to be around. So men may be treating you badly just so that you would go away. In everything, you need to have a self-reflective moment in how you come across and see if your own behavior plays a part in why you are not getting the type of relationship you want. Also, check out my video below for behaviors you may need to let go of.
3. Never Settle Remember You Attract What You Are
This may rub people the wrong way but I am the queen of keeping it real and so here we go. This is an excerpt from my book for single women (which you can click and read about here) to illustrate my point on why you should never settle.
I was talking to a girlfriend who was dating a rich man and had been on a few dates with him. She told me that she had been laid off and that she hinted on a date that she could not pay her bills and that she expected the man to give money to her. I was very much against this because, in a sense, she was using the man. Here he was trying to get to know her. They, had only been on a handful of dates, and already she had her hand out. She did not have her life together, she could not offer him emotional support; all she did was complain and ask him for money. Out of all the women in the sea, WHY would he choose that type of woman to be with? He was not getting anything positive from the relationship. She didn’t have to have the same amount of money he did, but he should at least feel like she was bringing value to the relationship. But she didn’t. She just brought complaining, asking him for money, and talking about how life sucked. Who wants to listen to that?
I can tell you to never settle. But I also think you owe it to yourself to keep it real with yourself. If you are not getting what you deserve in relationships is maybe because you feel like you deserve the moon when really you are the type of woman that doesn’t deserve anything because you bring nothing to the table.
“As a woman, you cannot be about nothing, be negative, have nothing going on for yourself, and think that a man is supposed to give you everything. Why would he? Why would anyone?”
There is nothing about you that balances out the relationship. You can demand more out of a relationship when a man values more from you out of relationship. And the way that you get that is by having your life and your stuff together. That way when a man sees you he is willing to give you the world because he sees the value that you have that other women do not. Which I talk about in my video below.
4. Never Settle And ALWAYS Remember Your Worth
Don’t believe the hype by thinking that a man will not judge you when you give it up too soon. THEY WILL. When you give up the goods too soon you are literally placing a low value on yourself. It is true that the man is the one having sex with you so he should not be judging you but men and women are wired differently.
While you see it as no big deal, he sees you having sex with him too soon as you diminishing your own self-worth. He will start to treat you less than because of the most precious gift that you have (which is your vagina) he has gotten with little to no effort and so that is exactly how he is going to treat you. People value what they have worked hard for. Men will value you more if they feel like you are not just offering up everything you have on a silver platter.
5. Never Settle & Never Be Afraid Walk Away
Some women are afraid to walk away. And when you refuse to walk away after you know that you are not getting the best from a man, then you are really giving him permission to continue to treat you like crap. At the first sign of any man treating you like less than what you feel you deserve communicate what the issue is, if he does not change then you go. Do not try to teach him and do not give him 15 million chances.
Just walk away. Either he will get the hint, get his act together and learn how to treat you or he is just going to let you go. And when you choose to walk away you have to be okay with whatever path he chooses. You have to choose to not come running back to him because you thought that by you walking away he would come running back to you and when he didn’t you go back to him. Once again doing that says, “I cannot do better so I will just put up with whatever you are handing out.“.
Never settle and remember when you walk away with no care in the world you are telling him that you do not need him and if he is not willing to treat and give you want why waste time with him. Walking away and staying away shows confidence that you are sure that you can find someone else, someone better. When you stay or even walk away and come back without him changing his behavior that says that you feel that he is all you feel you deserve and therefore diminishing your worth.
6. Never Settle ~ Final Thoughts
Never settle. Remember in life we all have choices. We can choose to stay or we can choose to go. We can choose to give bad men chance after chance after we have seen EVERY red flag or we can choose to let them go. With all that being said remember that the choice begins with you. You can get what you deserve by changing what you accept and by changing how you allow men to get over you.
To get the type of relationship you think you deserve, it may mean that you have to say no to a few guys or you may have to wait and be single for a while until the right one comes along instead of just accepting any man that bats an eye at you. If the love life that you are in does not match the love life you want. You have the power to walk away. Remember, you can do bad all by yourself. So if a relationship is making you worse than when you were single you do not need a man to bring you down.
“Relationships should add on to what you have, not subtract. “
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