To listen to the blog post “Mistakes To Avoid As A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man” over reading it then click the play button below
If you are a single mom dating a childless man then it is very easy to get your signals crossed. You have the responsibilities of a child while he has none. And it may be tempting to forget all about your motherly duties and ride into the sunset with this new man.
But as a single mother myself I have zero tolerance for mothers suffering from single mom syndrome (see my blog here). Or single mothers who get a bit of testosterone in their life and forget that they have kids. And what I have noticed is that it is way more common when a single mom is dating a childless man over men who have children.
I want you to be happy as a single mom, just make sure you date responsibly. You can date a man with no kids, one kid, or a lot of kids if you want to. But just make sure that you do not get so engulfed in the relationship that you forget your responsibilities as a mother.
Because your children will always be your children, the man you are dating may come and go. So the last thing you want is for your children to resent you because they feel like you are always putting them last in your life.
That is why I am here to give you some tips that make sure that it does not happen. To make sure you have a smooth, happy, and healthy relationship. For you, for your child, and for your man. Let’s get into it, shall we?
First, Mistake, To Avoid As A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man (Ditching Your Kids For Your Man)
You do not need to ditch your children in an effort to stay out to be with your man (click to read my blog you deserve to be happy but not at the expense of your kids). It’s okay to go out, but to go out every other day or every weekend without your kids is excessive.
Even if a man is childless he needs to understand that you are not childless like him, you have responsibilities, and you cannot just be with him 24/7. You cannot just spend the night all the time at his house. If the relationship gets serious the last thing you want is to low key be sending signals to him that you are a sucky mom.
You may be spending all your time with him but if you are treating your kids badly and ditching them for a man what do you think that is saying about you? This is a single mom dating advice 101.
A man may flirt with you and take you home at night, but trust me; no man is going to take you seriously if you leaving your children with a babysitter all the time.
He is going to think to himself, do I really want to marry this woman and have kids with her? She does not even do right by the ones she has now. Even when you are dating guys always show that you are a GOOD mother to your children.
As a mother, it is about your kid too. And sometimes you have to NOT do things you want to do even if it means spending time with your man, in order to spend time with your child. If your boyfriend tells you on Friday that he wants to take you and only you out of town for the weekend, but you promised to spend time with your kids.
Then spend time with your kids. As a mother, you have to nip your desires in the bud in order to be selfless and do the right thing by your children. And as a man, he is going to have to understand that you cannot just get up and do what he says because you have other people aka your kids to look after.
If he does not understand that, then you may want to reconsider being with him. If he really wants to spend time with you then as he gets to know you he can take both you and your children out. That is a fair compromise to just leaving your kids alone all the time to be with your man.
Also, you should check out my video below of when to introduce your boyfriend to your kids, and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Second Mistake To Avoid If Your A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man (Don’t Have His Baby In Order To Keep)
How many times do women think that since he does not have kids if you just pop out his child then your family can be complete? It will make him stay. It will make him fit in with you and your other children.
It does not work. I know women who have not mastered this process and now they have 4 or 5 different baby daddies, thinking that this time is different or this time he will stay if I have his child.
They think that just because the man has no children if you are the first to have his child it will make him stay. That is simply not true. You are already a single mom your next step is to be a wife. (Click here to read my blog on the benefits of being a wife).
Yes, I do have a child. But one thing I learned is that I am not going to continue to have more and more children as a single mom. I have been there already and done that!
And news flash its hard! So why make things harder on yourself thinking that having his child will make him stay. Or thinking that you will hold some forever place in his life because you had his first child. A child is not a binding document.
The man can always go away and then you will be stuck with more children. And you have to think do you really want to put yourself in that position?
As a single mom, I think you should want a man to be your husband first, ideally. You can check out my video below for more on that.
Third, Mistake To Avoid As A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man (Don’t Let Him Meet Your Kids Too Soon)
The third mistake for a single mom dating a childless man is letting him meet your kids too soon. There is a time for a boyfriend to meet your children and you can click on the blog on when to introduce your boyfriend to your children to help you determine when that is. But one thing you do not want to do is to force the situation or push the situation. If a man does not have kids he may not be ready to jump into being a daddy to yours.
That is something that can be determined once you actually start dating each other. And once you start dating PAY ATTENTION. Pay attention to if he likes children, if he is mature, or if he is not mature.
There are plenty of men with no kids who marry women who do have kids, just like there are plenty of childless men who are not mature enough to date a woman with children. Before you integrate him FULLY into your life and the life of your child. Make sure he is a good fit.
I also have a second video for more tips on introducing your kids to your boyfriend that you can watch below.
Fourth Mistake To Avoid If Your A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man (Learn To Prioritize)
The fourth mistake to avoid if your a single mom dating a childless man, learn to prioritize. I once knew a single mom who took her man on elaborate vacations while her children never went anywhere. And once she spent so much on giving her man a huge gift that she could not pay her bills and she let her lights get turned off at home.
I have also seen the single mom where their child is looking like a hot mess, growing out of their clothes, and they just look unkempt while the mom gets her hair done every week and always has new clothes. Because she wants to look good for her man.
I think this goes without saying that this is not a good look. Remember you need to take care of your kids, take care of your home, pay your bills, and make sure that your kids have what they need FIRST before splurging on a man.
Even if he gives you big gifts and you want to give him something nice, then only give him what you can afford. If he is a man that does not have any children then he probably has more disposable income to do things. You don’t. You have kids and you have responsibilities that need to be paid for, those things come first.
The Fifth, Mistake To Avoid If Your A Single Mom Dating A Childless Man (Know When To Let Go)
Instead of seeing being a single mom as a burden that is keeping you single, lonely, and away from your man. See it as a positive. The better mother you are the stronger you are. And the better you are able to date a man and take care of your children, without compromising either relationship.
That is what makes you a queen. If you are dating a man that does not have any kids and he cannot understand that you have priorities then you have to let him go. Never think that your kids are enabling you from having a wonderful relationship. A real man will love you and your kids.
A good man should not want you to compromise on being a mother and as a good mother, you should not want to put a man over your kids. Being a single mom dating a man without a child is not something hard.
But it will require firmer boundaries and understanding of both people’s part because each person is in a different phase in their life. One is a parent and one is not.
But as a single mom dating a childless man, keeping these 5 tips in mind will help you have a better relationship for yourself, him, and your children.
If you know a fellow single mom that needs to read this post, then don’t be selfish and go ahead and share it with her.
PSSST. Also, did you know that I have a single mom devotional! If you are a single mom then I know that you will want to read this. My book “Fix It Jesus, The Straight Forward No-Nonsense Guide To Passion Purpose and Prayer” is a must-have if you are a single mom (Click here to buy).
Don’t believe me? If you join my email list Sophie-stication Nation by clicking here or on the picture below then you can get the FIRST CHAPTER FREE!
Can anyone write an article these days?
I feel like a 10 year old wrote this.
I am not 10 I am 36 with three degrees. Sorry, you do not like my content, but the world wide web is vast and I am sure that you can find an article that is more suitable to your liking instead of being negative on mine. God bless.
What a rude comment. I LOVED this article and it was really good advice. ThANKyOu. And Ms commenter where is your article? That’s what I thought.
Thank you so much I am so glad you like it.
Great article! I am dating a single man my age right now!! My kids are much older though. My youngest is 17 years old and all 3 wish me happiness because I’ve been widowed since 2016. This man is very understanding and we do acknowledge we both have priorities in our respective lives. Feels like a mature relationship with friendship, fun and yes, passion! We’re both in our early 50’s and your 5 tips are very relatable!
Glad you liked it.
Hi Sohpia, i chanced upon your blog and i totally agree. I am a single man pursuing a single mom who has an 18 year old daughter. From a single mom’s view point, would you have any advice to give to single men like me who is pursuing a single mom? I have reflected on this and can honestly say i truly love her and i am trying very hard to understand fully her situation. Should i hand the reins over in this romantic pursuit to her and it develop at pace she is comfortable in? I admit at times im abit impatient. Thank you for your advice.
I think you should just talk to her and let her know what you want and to see if she is on the same page.